FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > guys and verifications: a question fo the ladies...
guys and verifications: a question fo the ladies...
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Hi ladies,
I know that secretly, there's this thing where women don't like to know that a guy has been with other women. I've seen it many times. If a guy has been with many, she soesnt feel special, etc.
Verifications though, also show that the guy is genuine and a descent guy.
My question is, where's the balance? Please answer truthfully, how many veris is too much? Is even 2 offputting? Just curious.
Cheers ladies xx |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I don't care how many verifications you have. I know that men on here will be seeing other women/couples so it would be a bit weird of me to get huffy about it. However I am not keen on pics showing what then happens at those meets. I want to see the guy, not a woman sucking his cock. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It doesn't bother me.. I like to see a well verified guy.. my partner in perversion has lots on his single profile...
Why would a woman worry on a sex site.. I know some do.. but really ..
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i don't mind the verifications at all (it is a swing site after all) but agree on the pictures.
And on the subject of pictures.. the amount of bareback different females "single" guy pictures i see..
Makes them a No No for me |
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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago
In a crisp poke on the A814 |
He could have 100 for all I care....
What is off putting for me is his need to display the more graphic details of a meet.....
Also, as has been said....Pics!
If im looking at a "single" guys profile, thats exactly what I expect to see...Just him!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi ladies,
I know that secretly, there's this thing where women don't like to know that a guy has been with other women. I've seen it many times. If a guy has been with many, she soesnt feel special, etc.
"
I think you're either very naive to believe that or being rather disingenuous...
this is a swinging site, not a dating site...I think there's a general acceptance that those you meet may have had an encounter or two with others...
personally the Monkey's tales of his adventures before and after we met amuse me enormously... |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
just display what you are comfortable to do, it is your profile and you will be attractive to some, not others.
dance to no one's tune but your own is my motto.
you have a great profile, all the best  |
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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago
hertfordshire |
"i don't mind the verifications at all (it is a swing site after all) but agree on the pictures.
And on the subject of pictures.. the amount of bareback different females "single" guy pictures i see..
Makes them a No No for me"
and they usually have safe sex only lol too many verifications do put me off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi ladies,
I know that secretly, there's this thing where women don't like to know that a guy has been with other women. I've seen it many times. If a guy has been with many, she soesnt feel special, etc.
Verifications though, also show that the guy is genuine and a descent guy.
My question is, where's the balance? Please answer truthfully, how many veris is too much? Is even 2 offputting? Just curious.
Cheers ladies xx"
I can honestly say that does not reflect me at all, I don't want to feel special in order to meet someone just to get on with them, I can honestly say I don't care how many others have met, be that no verifications or 100, if I like someone I will meet, I have met lots of unverified men, and men with little or many verifications, its a swinging site after all we are here for sex so why would them having sex put me off |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Hi ladies,
I know that secretly, there's this thing where women don't like to know that a guy has been with other women. I've seen it many times. If a guy has been with many, she soesnt feel special, etc.
Verifications though, also show that the guy is genuine and a descent guy.
My question is, where's the balance? Please answer truthfully, how many veris is too much? Is even 2 offputting? Just curious.
Cheers ladies xx"
in effect why does it matter???
if you are a million different people i am guessing you will get a million different answers...
as long as you are true to you.. and you are happy with what you show... any conclusion that anyone else comes to is their issue.. not yours!!
just a query.. if everyone had said for example, 2 veris... would you change your profile because it "makes you look better"? |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Think more than five or six is really off putting! Looks like ere to just fuck the whole site!  "
......says the person who has decided to hide theirs... hmmmmm
anyway.. more than five or six... over what time frame for example....
remember not all verifications are play meets.. a lot come from for example, social meets...
maybe is says as much about the person reading them as much as the people who leave/show them |
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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago
hertfordshire |
"
However, I would be wary of multiple veris from the same people.
There is no need to keep on verifying someone....Once is enough..."
I hate to see that too one has 3 different veris on 3 days same person YES WE KNOW YOU MET HIM!!!!! |
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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago
Rockford |
"Think more than five or six is really off putting! Looks like ere to just fuck the whole site!
......says the person who has decided to hide theirs... hmmmmm
anyway.. more than five or six... over what time frame for example....
remember not all verifications are play meets.. a lot come from for example, social meets...
maybe is says as much about the person reading them as much as the people who leave/show them"
for sure it does. The truth is there are thousands on here with none at all so if thats what is wanted then thats what can be had. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Verifications from same person doesn't bother me, it's the content of the repeat verifications. Lee and I used to leave one every so often for the other and it was often witty and funny ones. We can't now.. but sometimes wish we could.
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm not interested in the number of veri's a guy has, I'd be pretty hypocritical if I was! I have been the first to verify some, the 40th to verify others and everything inbetween. I actually quite like it when my 'regular' meets get a new veri.
If someone is bothered by the number of veri's you have then, to me, they can't be looking for the same things as you are so maybe it's for the best? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hide my friends list and verifications from Day 1, and it does not appear to have done me any harm. "
Me too.... but I think girls can afford to do that on Fab its different for guys some guys that have hidden veris actually intrigue me...  |
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By *avindaWoman
over a year ago
North Wales |
"I don't care how many verifications you have. I know that men on here will be seeing other women/couples so it would be a bit weird of me to get huffy about it. However I am not keen on pics showing what then happens at those meets. I want to see the guy, not a woman sucking his cock."
+1 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It doesn't bother me how many times a guy has been verified. In fact if a single guy has been verified a few times from attending parties, that is positive to me. It signifies that he is a good guest, gets on well with people, will turn up etc.  |
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"Hi ladies,
I know that secretly, there's this thing where women don't like to know that a guy has been with other women. I've seen it many times. If a guy has been with many, she soesnt feel special, etc.
Verifications though, also show that the guy is genuine and a descent guy.
My question is, where's the balance? Please answer truthfully, how many veris is too much? Is even 2 offputting? Just curious.
Cheers ladies xx
in effect why does it matter???
if you are a million different people i am guessing you will get a million different answers...
as long as you are true to you.. and you are happy with what you show... any conclusion that anyone else comes to is their issue.. not yours!!
just a query.. if everyone had said for example, 2 veris... would you change your profile because it "makes you look better"?"
Yes, potentially... You can't argue that that is bad though. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
just a query.. if everyone had said for example, 2 veris... would you change your profile because it "makes you look better"?
Yes, potentially... You can't argue that that is bad though. "
i absolutely can... i'll explain
if you are that "valunerable" to everyone else's thoughts of you.. and you are prepared to change your profile on that basis.. then I would suggest that the profile then in effect a true reflection of yourself....
you then become as bad as every other generic profile on the site..... |
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"
just a query.. if everyone had said for example, 2 veris... would you change your profile because it "makes you look better"?
Yes, potentially... You can't argue that that is bad though.
i absolutely can... i'll explain
if you are that "valunerable" to everyone else's thoughts of you.. and you are prepared to change your profile on that basis.. then I would suggest that the profile then in effect a true reflection of yourself....
you then become as bad as every other generic profile on the site....."
I strongly disagree! It's basic marketing! You make a product or service appear as what the customer wants. On this site where ratios are 50:1, good marketing is crucial.
If a guy wants a slice of the action, he must stand out as better and knowing what is wanted or preferred is key. It's not about being vulnerable, its about getting the edge!
Cheers for your thoughts though. |
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"He could have 100 for all I care....
What is off putting for me is his need to display the more graphic details of a meet.....
Also, as has been said....Pics!
If im looking at a "single" guys profile, thats exactly what I expect to see...Just him!!"
|
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"I don't care how many verifications you have. I know that men on here will be seeing other women/couples so it would be a bit weird of me to get huffy about it. However I am not keen on pics showing what then happens at those meets. I want to see the guy, not a woman sucking his cock.
+1 "
|
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"Hi ladies,
I know that secretly, there's this thing where women don't like to know that a guy has been with other women. I've seen it many times. If a guy has been with many, she soesnt feel special, etc.
Verifications though, also show that the guy is genuine and a descent guy.
My question is, where's the balance? Please answer truthfully, how many veris is too much? Is even 2 offputting? Just curious.
Cheers ladies xx"
Personally I would say half a dozen is quite enough to get the gist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As a single woman not looking to meet lots of different people , it puts me off if a man has lots of verifications especially if they go in depth, I don't really want to know what has gone on with other people , just want to know if they are genuine..... after all that's what the verifications are there for.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi ladies,
I know that secretly, there's this thing where women don't like to know that a guy has been with other women. I've seen it many times. If a guy has been with many, she soesnt feel special, etc.
Verifications though, also show that the guy is genuine and a descent guy.
My question is, where's the balance? Please answer truthfully, how many veris is too much? Is even 2 offputting? Just curious.
Cheers ladies xx"
I am special. Would put me off if he had hundreds in a short time though because I would assume he is just a sex addict who just fucks |
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I avoid men who hide their veris cos to me it says they are either embarassed about meeting that person or it wasnt a good meet. I like to look and see who a guy has met and if they are into all sorts it will put me off that guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I avoid men who hide their veris cos to me it says they are either embarassed about meeting that person or it wasnt a good meet. "
I can't personally make a grain of sense out of this. How can you judge the quality of verifications you can't see? Even if he did have a bad meet (which is your own assertion with no basis in fact), so what? Not all meets go perfectly - that's life.
My own take is that everyone has the right to their own level of privacy on their sexual history. If they choose not to display it on the Internet for casual browsers to _iew, then it's entirely their choice. |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"just display what you are comfortable to do, it is your profile and you will be attractive to some, not others.
dance to no one's tune but your own is my motto.
you have a great profile, all the best "
I thought "the bigger the cock, the happier I am" was your motto View 
OP, the number of verifications means a big fat zero to me, but I know there's people on here think someone with 5 or more is a slut of the highest order and possibly diseased (I've seen it posted before)...you won't be attractive for one reason or another to many folk for any one of a multitude of reasons...enjoy the ones who do like the look of you, that's how I do it and it works great for me |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"just display what you are comfortable to do, it is your profile and you will be attractive to some, not others.
dance to no one's tune but your own is my motto.
you have a great profile, all the best
I thought "the bigger the cock, the happier I am" was your motto View
OP, the number of verifications means a big fat zero to me, but I know there's people on here think someone with 5 or more is a slut of the highest order and possibly diseased (I've seen it posted before)...you won't be attractive for one reason or another to many folk for any one of a multitude of reasons...enjoy the ones who do like the look of you, that's how I do it and it works great for me "
I have 2 you hit the nail on the head for the second tho |
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Remember that some veris are social meets. I like those that have met someone more than once as it means they were popular and likeable enough for someone to want a second go. Mine are all hidden to prevent 'meet hassle'.
Also some of mine are from single guys, however, they simply met me and watched me in action with a lady or two. So with all the 'if and buts, maybe's and whatevers' I don't take a blind bit of notice of the number of veris as long as it's by actual meet and recentish. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I know that secretly, there's this thing where women don't like to know that a guy has been with other women. I've seen it many times. If a guy has been with many, she soesnt feel special, etc.
You "know" this why? What a lot of rubbish. |
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I've seen many couples and single ladies profiles on this site say that they WON'T meet guys unless they do have verifications.
So it seems to some to be a basic condition to agreeing to a meet.
Rightly so too, as it at least shows the person is genuine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Verifications are good no matter how many. They help build a picture and put your mind at rest that the person is genuine.
We currently have ten veris visible.
Yes there are more but they are hidden purely because they're too graphic for our taste.
We're happy with our meets simply confirming we're genuine. They don't need to the whole site about what happened between us.
Lou ?? |
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"I don't care how many verifications you have. I know that men on here will be seeing other women/couples so it would be a bit weird of me to get huffy about it. However I am not keen on pics showing what then happens at those meets. I want to see the guy, not a woman sucking his cock."
Exactly this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't care how many verifications you have. I know that men on here will be seeing other women/couples so it would be a bit weird of me to get huffy about it. However I am not keen on pics showing what then happens at those meets. I want to see the guy, not a woman sucking his cock."
this plus more than 20 veris maybe but would depend on the guy  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
I strongly disagree! It's basic marketing! You make a product or service appear as what the customer wants. On this site where ratios are 50:1, good marketing is crucial.
If a guy wants a slice of the action, he must stand out as better and knowing what is wanted or preferred is key. It's not about being vulnerable, its about getting the edge!
Cheers for your thoughts though."
and if everyone else did exactly the same as you... then you are not Standing out anymore... see that "marketing" thing you were on about! no edge gained if everyone is being generic.....
the thing is there are more ways of standing out then just the profile.... be it, as an example, what you write and how you write something in a thread....
if you for example are willing to sell yourself in a way that isn't true to yourself and your own individuality in the pursuit of "action" (and i really hate that word in the context of swinging because for me for me it implies the person you play with isn't important in the equation) then I don't think that makes you the "better" anything....
if that is how you feel you have to get "an edge" again I think that says more about you and your mindset...... |
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"I avoid men who hide their veris cos to me it says they are either embarassed about meeting that person or it wasnt a good meet.
I can't personally make a grain of sense out of this. How can you judge the quality of verifications you can't see? Even if he did have a bad meet (which is your own assertion with no basis in fact), so what? Not all meets go perfectly - that's life.
My own take is that everyone has the right to their own level of privacy on their sexual history. If they choose not to display it on the Internet for casual browsers to _iew, then it's entirely their choice. "
I do not need facts thanks, like I said this is my feeling on the matter, not yours ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I like checking who they fucked!!!! lol"
Me too , and if they aren't too fussy with who they are playing with it would make me think twice about meeting the male |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the thing is there are more ways of standing out then just the profile.... be it, as an example, what you write and how you write something in a thread....
if you for example are willing to sell yourself in a way that isn't true to yourself and your own individuality in the pursuit of "action" (and i really hate that word in the context of swinging because for me for me it implies the person you play with isn't important in the equation) then I don't think that makes you the "better" anything....
if that is how you feel you have to get "an edge" again I think that says more about you and your mindset......"
True. I get messages about my profile being off-putting and I should leave because they don't know what I'm on about. But I also get ones from people who are intrigued, and want to chat a little and perhaps meet eventually. Perhaps I'm not standard, but it totally reflects who I am. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"are veris genuine tho ...I often wonder"
Not always... I had a guy, who I blocked, create two fake profiles to continue abusing me. He verified himself on both so he could bypass my filters. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"Hi ladies,
I know that secretly, there's this thing where women don't like to know that a guy has been with other women. I've seen it many times. If a guy has been with many, she soesnt feel special, etc.
Verifications though, also show that the guy is genuine and a descent guy.
My question is, where's the balance? Please answer truthfully, how many veris is too much? Is even 2 offputting? Just curious.
Cheers ladies xx"
You will never please everyone so why bother trying.
We choose to show our verifications and if someone decides we have too many, or we have met the 'wrong' people or that they are too graphic (you get the gist!) then they are probably not for us.
If we like someone then we like them! If they interest us then they interest us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"the thing is there are more ways of standing out then just the profile.... be it, as an example, what you write and how you write something in a thread....
if you for example are willing to sell yourself in a way that isn't true to yourself and your own individuality in the pursuit of "action" (and i really hate that word in the context of swinging because for me for me it implies the person you play with isn't important in the equation) then I don't think that makes you the "better" anything....
if that is how you feel you have to get "an edge" again I think that says more about you and your mindset......
True. I get messages about my profile being off-putting and I should leave because they don't know what I'm on about. But I also get ones from people who are intrigued, and want to chat a little and perhaps meet eventually. Perhaps I'm not standard, but it totally reflects who I am. "
Just read you're profile and I am seeking the same as you , I often get criticised for it but hey I'm not desperate for sex so will just carry on the way I am x |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"
I strongly disagree! It's basic marketing! You make a product or service appear as what the customer wants. On this site where ratios are 50:1, good marketing is crucial.
If a guy wants a slice of the action, he must stand out as better and knowing what is wanted or preferred is key. It's not about being vulnerable, its about getting the edge!
Cheers for your thoughts though.
and if everyone else did exactly the same as you... then you are not Standing out anymore... see that "marketing" thing you were on about! no edge gained if everyone is being generic.....
the thing is there are more ways of standing out then just the profile.... be it, as an example, what you write and how you write something in a thread....
if you for example are willing to sell yourself in a way that isn't true to yourself and your own individuality in the pursuit of "action" (and i really hate that word in the context of swinging because for me for me it implies the person you play with isn't important in the equation) then I don't think that makes you the "better" anything....
if that is how you feel you have to get "an edge" again I think that says more about you and your mindset......"
|
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It amazes me that post a thread re verifications on a swingers site invariably produces a raft of highly judgemental/moral highground replies.
Nobody is forced to show them/not show them..read them/not read them..act on them/not act on them. How people conduct their affairs on this site is their business and should be respected for that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
just a query.. if everyone had said for example, 2 veris... would you change your profile because it "makes you look better"?
Yes, potentially... You can't argue that that is bad though.
i absolutely can... i'll explain
if you are that "valunerable" to everyone else's thoughts of you.. and you are prepared to change your profile on that basis.. then I would suggest that the profile then in effect a true reflection of yourself....
you then become as bad as every other generic profile on the site.....
I strongly disagree! It's basic marketing! You make a product or service appear as what the customer wants. On this site where ratios are 50:1, good marketing is crucial.
If a guy wants a slice of the action, he must stand out as better and knowing what is wanted or preferred is key. It's not about being vulnerable, its about getting the edge!
Cheers for your thoughts though."
so basically you'd say whatever it took to get your dick wet...the tone of the OP. makes absolute sense to me now... |
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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago
hertfordshire |
"It amazes me that post a thread re verifications on a swingers site invariably produces a raft of highly judgemental/moral highground replies.
Nobody is forced to show them/not show them..read them/not read them..act on them/not act on them. How people conduct their affairs on this site is their business and should be respected for that."
if the man had loads of veris id worry about sti s if hes fucking anyone that asks |
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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
I have said this before and I will say it again - we are all on a swingers site looking for sex and fun with like-minded people. I am absolutely gobsmacked that some people judge others on the amount of sex they have.
Oh and here's a shocker - the amount of veris a person has displayed on their profile, or even the numbers on the veri summary is VERY RARELY the actual number of people the have met! I know mine surely as hell isn't accurate! I don't veri everyone I meet and vice versa! |
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"i don't mind the verifications at all (it is a swing site after all) but agree on the pictures.
And on the subject of pictures.. the amount of bareback different females "single" guy pictures i see..
Makes them a No No for me"
|
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"It amazes me that post a thread re verifications on a swingers site invariably produces a raft of highly judgemental/moral highground replies.
Nobody is forced to show them/not show them..read them/not read them..act on them/not act on them. How people conduct their affairs on this site is their business and should be respected for that.
if the man had loads of veris id worry about sti s if hes fucking anyone that asks"
Is that just for blokes or would you say the same for females or couples? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"He could have 100 for all I care....
What is off putting for me is his need to display the more graphic details of a meet.....
Also, as has been said....Pics!
If im looking at a "single" guys profile, thats exactly what I expect to see...Just him!!"
This is one if several similar posts. Considering this is a Swingers site where adults meet for consensual NSA fun why would pictures of adults engaging in NSA fun be deemed offensive?
This hints at an element of insecurity or even possibly the old Green Eyed thingy?????
Single guys really really really do have their work cut out on here.
A short note is crap
A note too long is boring
A note worth of praise from the Poet Lauriet without a face pic is simply binned
A profile with a cock pic is disgusting
A profile with a pic of a cock being used as it should be is a total turn off
A tasteful picture in boxers will without draw comments about the colour
Too many veri's and you are simply looking to fuck the crack of dawn if you could get up early enough
No veri's and your a fake
Hide your veri's and you clearly fucked someone you are ashamed off
Show your veri's and someone will squeal Ohhh hes fucked her!
God forbid the thought that there is even a whiff of BB in amongst your pics and any tiny hint of prior commitments you might as well start pouring the Gin and Valium now
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"It amazes me that post a thread re verifications on a swingers site invariably produces a raft of highly judgemental/moral highground replies.
Nobody is forced to show them/not show them..read them/not read them..act on them/not act on them. How people conduct their affairs on this site is their business and should be respected for that.
if the man had loads of veris id worry about sti s if hes fucking anyone that asks"
As has been said many times on similar threads, he could have fifty veris hidden..and why would it worry you?..if you thought that you wouldn't meet. Unless of course you were thinking of becoming a fab still vigilantI. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think more than five or six is really off putting! Looks like ere to just fuck the whole site! "
But surly it depends on timescale. Six verifications in a short period e.g two weeks us a lot and I'd certainly talk to him about that if we were planning a meet. But 6 in 3 years is hardly fucking the whole site.
Verifications are a double edged sword, none or too few and you are branded a time waster or fake, yet too many and you are a whore/slut/here to fuck the whole site. I show my verification summary but I gave up showing the actual verifications months ago. |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"I have said this before and I will say it again - we are all on a swingers site looking for sex and fun with like-minded people. I am absolutely gobsmacked that some people judge others on the amount of sex they have.
Oh and here's a shocker - the amount of veris a person has displayed on their profile, or even the numbers on the veri summary is VERY RARELY the actual number of people the have met! I know mine surely as hell isn't accurate! I don't veri everyone I meet and vice versa!"
yep, I've actually had sex more than 100 times which is about how many meet verifications I've got. I've said it before, if someone sees me as not fussy/riddled with clap/will shag anything with a pulse/slutty then that's fair enough, we probably wouldn't have got on anyway. I prefer a couple of veris at least but have been first meets for a handful of blokes/couples - my checks and common sense (what little there is) work for me so none or 200 - makes no odds |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
if the man had loads of veris id worry about sti s if hes fucking anyone that asks"
This has to one the best examples of Pot and Kettle I have seen on here for a while |
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I don't get that lots of verifications is off putting - not that I'd argue against anyone's choice how they want to use the site and tools - it's up to them.
However, With all the constant moaning about time wasters, surely more verifications, to us, mean there's probably a much more realistic chance they'll turn up and are as described in profile and pics. So, for us, it's a good thing.
D&K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't get that lots of verifications is off putting - not that I'd argue against anyone's choice how they want to use the site and tools - it's up to them.
However, With all the constant moaning about time wasters, surely more verifications, to us, mean there's probably a much more realistic chance they'll turn up and are as described in profile and pics. So, for us, it's a good thing.
D&K"
That's the reason we walk on by anyone who hides their veri's. For us, and I stress for us hidden veri's means either Fake or something to hide and with so many genuine and open profiles on here why waste time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't get that lots of verifications is off putting - not that I'd argue against anyone's choice how they want to use the site and tools - it's up to them.
However, With all the constant moaning about time wasters, surely more verifications, to us, mean there's probably a much more realistic chance they'll turn up and are as described in profile and pics. So, for us, it's a good thing.
D&K
That's the reason we walk on by anyone who hides their veri's. For us, and I stress for us hidden veri's means either Fake or something to hide and with so many genuine and open profiles on here why waste time "
Omg I'm a fake , woo hoo I've got a label now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It doesnt bother me how many veri's someone has at all. Although I dont want to read graphic blow by blow accounts of meets. Repeat veri's are ok as long as they have veri's off others too.
As for pics, I dont mind 'action' shots but do like to see pics just of the person/s whos profile it is too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
just a query.. if everyone had said for example, 2 veris... would you change your profile because it "makes you look better"?
Yes, potentially... You can't argue that that is bad though.
i absolutely can... i'll explain
if you are that "valunerable" to everyone else's thoughts of you.. and you are prepared to change your profile on that basis.. then I would suggest that the profile then in effect a true reflection of yourself....
you then become as bad as every other generic profile on the site.....
I strongly disagree! It's basic marketing! You make a product or service appear as what the customer wants. On this site where ratios are 50:1, good marketing is crucial.
If a guy wants a slice of the action, he must stand out as better and knowing what is wanted or preferred is key. It's not about being vulnerable, its about getting the edge!
Cheers for your thoughts though.
so basically you'd say whatever it took to get your dick wet...the tone of the OP. makes absolute sense to me now..."
As soon as I see the words 'action', 'marketing' and 'edge' - it makes me feel that the person using them sees this site as some kind of competitive environment - where creating a profile that appeals to as many as possible rather than being an honest reflection of the profile owner is perceived as boosting ones chances of getting a 'result'.
It's not a bloody competition! It's not a 'survival of the fittest/hottest/strongest sales patter'. It's not a tactical game where there's a 'magic formula' to getting messages answered, meets or any kind of interaction.
It's simply a website where people can _iew eachothers details and make decisions as to whether or not to engage in meets or dialogue.
Veri's will always be a useful tool for people to learn more about you. Some will pay more heed to the content, others will be happy to know you exist, are who you say - and show up. The numbers are important to some and irrelevant to others. In one sense they're also meaningless as not compulsory to leave, receive or show. So second guessing someones activities and attitudes based purely on a number is pointless.
We all make our own choices in life. Always base them on your own preferences, opinions and beliefs and you won't go wrong. Adjust your profile to represent what you think others want to see at your own peril. It will often do you no favours at all! |
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By *ungle-FeverCouple (FF)
over a year ago
Bristol/Gloucester |
"Hi ladies,
I know that secretly, there's this thing where women don't like to know that a guy has been with other women. I've seen it many times. If a guy has been with many, she soesnt feel special, etc.
Verifications though, also show that the guy is genuine and a descent guy.
My question is, where's the balance? Please answer truthfully, how many veris is too much? Is even 2 offputting? Just curious.
Cheers ladies xx"
We don't mind if a guy has lots of veris. Sometimes it's better if guys have more rather than less as you know they are genuine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
just a query.. if everyone had said for example, 2 veris... would you change your profile because it "makes you look better"?
Yes, potentially... You can't argue that that is bad though.
i absolutely can... i'll explain
if you are that "valunerable" to everyone else's thoughts of you.. and you are prepared to change your profile on that basis.. then I would suggest that the profile then in effect a true reflection of yourself....
you then become as bad as every other generic profile on the site.....
I strongly disagree! It's basic marketing! You make a product or service appear as what the customer wants. On this site where ratios are 50:1, good marketing is crucial.
If a guy wants a slice of the action, he must stand out as better and knowing what is wanted or preferred is key. It's not about being vulnerable, its about getting the edge!
Cheers for your thoughts though.
so basically you'd say whatever it took to get your dick wet...the tone of the OP. makes absolute sense to me now...
As soon as I see the words 'action', 'marketing' and 'edge' - it makes me feel that the person using them sees this site as some kind of competitive environment - where creating a profile that appeals to as many as possible rather than being an honest reflection of the profile owner is perceived as boosting ones chances of getting a 'result'.
It's not a bloody competition! It's not a 'survival of the fittest/hottest/strongest sales patter'. It's not a tactical game where there's a 'magic formula' to getting messages answered, meets or any kind of interaction.
It's simply a website where people can _iew eachothers details and make decisions as to whether or not to engage in meets or dialogue.
Veri's will always be a useful tool for people to learn more about you. Some will pay more heed to the content, others will be happy to know you exist, are who you say - and show up. The numbers are important to some and irrelevant to others. In one sense they're also meaningless as not compulsory to leave, receive or show. So second guessing someones activities and attitudes based purely on a number is pointless.
We all make our own choices in life. Always base them on your own preferences, opinions and beliefs and you won't go wrong. Adjust your profile to represent what you think others want to see at your own peril. It will often do you no favours at all! "
Awwww obi shush I'm enjoying being a fake |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We all make our own choices in life. Always base them on your own preferences, opinions and beliefs and you won't go wrong. Adjust your profile to represent what you think others want to see at your own peril. It will often do you no favours at all! "
Obi - I like you a lot. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Hi ladies,
I know that secretly, there's this thing where women don't like to know that a guy has been with other women. I've seen it many times. If a guy has been with many, she soesnt feel special, etc.
Verifications though, also show that the guy is genuine and a descent guy.
My question is, where's the balance? Please answer truthfully, how many veris is too much? Is even 2 offputting? Just curious.
Cheers ladies xx"
Plenty of verifications means a guy meets and does so regularly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Awwww obi shush I'm enjoying being a fake
If you're a fake who was in my bloody car last night?  "
In the words of shaggy ' it wasn't me' and thems not " but ' and I can't be arsed to change them
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
That's the reason we walk on by anyone who hides their veri's. For us, and I stress for us hidden veri's means either Fake or something to hide and with so many genuine and open profiles on here why waste time
Omg I'm a fake , woo hoo I've got a label now "
Bearing in mind we gave 2 reasons why we avoid hidden veri's its interesting you chose that particular label for yourself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
That's the reason we walk on by anyone who hides their veri's. For us, and I stress for us hidden veri's means either Fake or something to hide and with so many genuine and open profiles on here why waste time
Omg I'm a fake , woo hoo I've got a label now
Bearing in mind we gave 2 reasons why we avoid hidden veri's its interesting you chose that particular label for yourself "
Interesting that you choose the word 'we' - rather than 'I' - as you're on your single male profile - unverified yet judging others choices of how they use/show their verifications. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Got nothing to hide and not a fake...
Simply no one elses business who I have met/had fun with....
Perfectly happy for people to pass me by that have a problem with that "
Awwww does that mean you don't want to have a label like me then  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It amazes me that post a thread re verifications on a swingers site invariably produces a raft of highly judgemental/moral highground replies.
Nobody is forced to show them/not show them..read them/not read them..act on them/not act on them. How people conduct their affairs on this site is their business and should be respected for that.
if the man had loads of veris id worry about sti s if hes fucking anyone that asks"
That is utter naivity. I could say of your verifications that you've been here 4 weeks and have 6 veris all in the space of 1 week. That's a lot of veris for a week. You might have caught an STI with that many ........
See how silly assumption can be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You only have a label if you stick it onto yourself. I do not show my verifications for my own reasons. If someone thinks that's because I'm a fake or have something to hide then so be it. *shrugs* |
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For me it depends on who they are from and what they say to be honest. Like many others I don't need a blow by blow account of the meet or graphic details of what went on. Prefer just to read veris that confirm he is a real guy, turned up on time, looked like pics, etc. I don't mind seeing play pictures but prefer to see some just of him on his own too. Hate the single men profiles where they are full of pics of women with just a cock in the corner lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me it depends on who they are from and what they say to be honest. Like many others I don't need a blow by blow account of the meet or graphic details of what went on. Prefer just to read veris that confirm he is a real guy, turned up on time, looked like pics, etc. I don't mind seeing play pictures but prefer to see some just of him on his own too. Hate the single men profiles where they are full of pics of women with just a cock in the corner lol"
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I know that secretly, there's this thing where women don't like to know that a guy has been with other women. I've seen it many times. If a guy has been with many, she soesnt feel special, etc."
Where on earth did you hear that? It's not true. At least not for all ladies. Every lady is different, since we're all individual people. Trying to classify us as a group and make generalisations is likely to lead to misunderstandings and confusion. |
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have no issues with verifications as long as not graphic. also I have zero interest in hearing how good or bad their other meets were in bed or what they would or wouldn't do .so really not impressed if they go on about their sexploits when you've met for coffee or seeing pics of their meets on their phone .lol ! that puts me off with the lack of common curtusey and discretion rather than what a verification says |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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a woman has 7 seeds to sew, a man has 1 million,
so obviously he will have more verifications,
it isn't rocket science,
plus a woman cant get out often,
hormones, kids, lack of money, etc. |
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"
We all make our own choices in life. Always base them on your own preferences, opinions and beliefs and you won't go wrong. Adjust your profile to represent what you think others want to see at your own peril. It will often do you no favours at all! "
I can see both sides of this argument. In a way this would be better for ME - then I can see exactly who I want to avoid!! But there would also be a bunch of guys who just never did get that first meet I suspect.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Interesting that you choose the word 'we' - rather than 'I' - as you're on your single male profile - unverified yet judging others choices of how they use/show their verifications. "
The use of the word 'we' was deliberate as based on the wording of this profile clearly the use of 'I' would have been inappropriate.
Just a thought but does your comment above not sound a little judgemental as to how we choose to use the verification system. No declaration from this end on the rights and wrongs of displaying/ not displaying just a simple statement on how we use the system |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"a woman has 7 seeds to sew, a man has 1 million,
so obviously he will have more verifications,
it isn't rocket science,
plus a woman cant get out often,
hormones, kids, lack of money, etc."
|
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"It amazes me that post a thread re verifications on a swingers site invariably produces a raft of highly judgemental/moral highground replies.
Nobody is forced to show them/not show them..read them/not read them..act on them/not act on them. How people conduct their affairs on this site is their business and should be respected for that.
if the man had loads of veris id worry about sti s if hes fucking anyone that asks"
what about if lots were just socials? |
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"a woman has 7 seeds to sew, a man has 1 million,
so obviously he will have more verifications,
it isn't rocket science,
plus a woman cant get out often,
hormones, kids, lack of money, etc."
I've seen a hormone, but I suspect she was acting. |
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"I don't get that lots of verifications is off putting - not that I'd argue against anyone's choice how they want to use the site and tools - it's up to them.
However, With all the constant moaning about time wasters, surely more verifications, to us, mean there's probably a much more realistic chance they'll turn up and are as described in profile and pics. So, for us, it's a good thing.
D&K
That's the reason we walk on by anyone who hides their veri's. For us, and I stress for us hidden veri's means either Fake or something to hide and with so many genuine and open profiles on here why waste time "
Thankyou fella! I expressed my OWN opinion on this and had someone jump down my throat over it ( what's new) . I want to see who someone has met, I get enough offers so I can set my meeting criteria to suit my own requirements, nuff said! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Thankyou fella! I expressed my OWN opinion on this and had someone jump down my throat over it ( what's new) . I want to see who someone has met, I get enough offers so I can set my meeting criteria to suit my own requirements, nuff said!"
The site owners are not daft and have set the site up with enough filters etc for us to each use it as we see fit.
If some people choose to use other methods alongside the site supplied stuff for selecting who they want to meet with I am genuinely unsure why others would take issue with it |
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"
I strongly disagree! It's basic marketing! You make a product or service appear as what the customer wants. On this site where ratios are 50:1, good marketing is crucial.
If a guy wants a slice of the action, he must stand out as better and knowing what is wanted or preferred is key. It's not about being vulnerable, its about getting the edge!
Cheers for your thoughts though.
and if everyone else did exactly the same as you... then you are not Standing out anymore... see that "marketing" thing you were on about! no edge gained if everyone is being generic.....
the thing is there are more ways of standing out then just the profile.... be it, as an example, what you write and how you write something in a thread....
if you for example are willing to sell yourself in a way that isn't true to yourself and your own individuality in the pursuit of "action" (and i really hate that word in the context of swinging because for me for me it implies the person you play with isn't important in the equation) then I don't think that makes you the "better" anything....
if that is how you feel you have to get "an edge" again I think that says more about you and your mindset......"
Mmm, partially agree with p1 and 2, disagree with p3... P4, that's up to the reader to decide.
A few people have their different ways of doing things, this methodology works excellently for me. You just do what you feel is right I guess. |
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