FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Can you be too fussy?
Can you be too fussy?
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By *D40 OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
Hi can someone put me right please.
I have done online dating & made sure I listed what I was looking for in a guy
Is it wrong for me to do that on mine & my partners profile on here? I mean its the same thing isn't it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're here for yourself - don't slack on your demands / expectations ..
.. how can you get good experiences if you base them on something less than honest wishes?
As long as you don't change your shared profile without his consent there shouldn't be a problem with it.
I do prefer profiles that clearly state what they're after - easier to see if I ought to drop a mail or not 
Just my point of _iew. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Exactly! The problem is rather with people who don't read the profile and message willy-nilly, then get nasty when they get refused or deleted!!"
I guess that's what report/block is for .. a shame some people don't accept a no - or no reply (do know some people get plenty of mail).
Don't give it too much thought (the negative feedback) - and focus purely on the ones that live up to your expectations ..
.. it's your fun, so why compromise? |
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"Hi can someone put me right please.
I have done online dating & made sure I listed what I was looking for in a guy
Is it wrong for me to do that on mine & my partners profile on here? I mean its the same thing isn't it? "
It's not the same thing as on-line dating if that's what you meant. However I don't think its wrong to state exactly what you're after, I think its the best thing to do. |
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"Exactly! The problem is rather with people who don't read the profile and message willy-nilly, then get nasty when they get refused or deleted!!"
Yep, write a nice profile out detailing what you're looking for and will anyone actually read it ? will they buggery
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know! My block list is disturbingly long  "
I guess that's the 'stick' most females get on here - but in my opinion people who cannot phrase more than a couple of words in a mail - they're not worth the time anyway.
Reading your profile, there's nothing wrong with it - but you might forget one thing, people might not actually get to the bottom bit, sadly.
Let us just hope for your sake that there is no limit to the block list.  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
It's not wrong, but I do think having a profile on a dating site is wrong! Your giving off the wrong vibes (and I am saying that without seeing what you have said!)
I'm a single female on here who only does 1-1 meets, because I think it is wrong to lead someone up the garden path, because I am not looking for a relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know! My block list is disturbingly long
I guess that's the 'stick' most females get on here - but in my opinion people who cannot phrase more than a couple of words in a mail - they're not worth the time anyway.
Reading your profile, there's nothing wrong with it - but you might forget one thing, people might not actually get to the bottom bit, sadly.
Let us just hope for your sake that there is no limit to the block list. "
It's not THAT long!!! |
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By *D40 OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"It's not wrong, but I do think having a profile on a dating site is wrong! Your giving off the wrong vibes (and I am saying that without seeing what you have said!)
I'm a single female on here who only does 1-1 meets, because I think it is wrong to lead someone up the garden path, because I am not looking for a relationship."
My profile for online dating was 2 years ago
I'm thinking more along non smokers, not shorter than me, not hairy etc xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well you have to have an attraction to the person your meeting as otherwise the whole situation would just be awkward and not much fun for anyone involved.
Stick you your preferences and unfortunately you will still get mail from the people not reading the profile properly but just delete and move on x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really don't get this.... I fail to see how you can be too fussy??? This is swinging, so I am assuming we are not desperate, but looking for something to enhance? Everyone has their ideal of what they are looking for. Why compromise? |
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By *andWCouple
over a year ago
Pontypridd |
"You can be fussy but when you get to a certain age, sometimes you have to take what you can get, or go without."
Think we will stay fussy and just go without then, certainly not wanting to take what we can get  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can make a list of demands a mile long it means jack shit pardon my french .
It doesn't mean guys who met the criteria will message you the only thing you can bank on is guys who don't meet the criteria will message .
Kind of a pointless exercise if you ask me .  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can be fussy but when you get to a certain age, sometimes you have to take what you can get, or go without.
Think we will stay fussy and just go without then, certainly not wanting to take what we can get "
us too xx |
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"You can make a list of demands a mile long it means jack shit pardon my french .
It doesn't mean guys who met the criteria will message you the only thing you can bank on is guys who don't meet the criteria will message .
Kind of a pointless exercise if you ask me . "
But it does mean that if you say no to someone you can refer them back to your profile if they ask why.
If you don't state any preferences then every guy will think he's entitled to get stroppy if you say no thanks.
And the few who do read profiles and who match what you're looking for are worth the wait.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can make a list of demands a mile long it means jack shit pardon my french .
It doesn't mean guys who met the criteria will message you the only thing you can bank on is guys who don't meet the criteria will message .
Kind of a pointless exercise if you ask me .
But it does mean that if you say no to someone you can refer them back to your profile if they ask why.
If you don't state any preferences then every guy will think he's entitled to get stroppy if you say no thanks.
And the few who do read profiles and who match what you're looking for are worth the wait. "
On the flip side having to many demands means your more susceptible to sycophants and liars, people will just tell you want you want to hear, I know that's me being cynical though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can make a list of demands a mile long it means jack shit pardon my french .
It doesn't mean guys who met the criteria will message you the only thing you can bank on is guys who don't meet the criteria will message .
Kind of a pointless exercise if you ask me . "
I agree, this is about human interaction not buying car  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have to like the look of them a little bit, there are certain things i dont like, not just in looks but in personality, i check all their verifications, its important that they are fairly nice. im not into masochism. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can make a list of demands a mile long it means jack shit pardon my french .
It doesn't mean guys who met the criteria will message you the only thing you can bank on is guys who don't meet the criteria will message .
Kind of a pointless exercise if you ask me .
But it does mean that if you say no to someone you can refer them back to your profile if they ask why.
If you don't state any preferences then every guy will think he's entitled to get stroppy if you say no thanks.
And the few who do read profiles and who match what you're looking for are worth the wait. "
Its going to happen anyway the stroppyness that is... not every guy who meets your needs is going to be entertained by you ether .
You can not win because your dealing with human beings good and bad ones .site life is what it is your never going to stop some people from investing to much emotion into the search and feeling hurt as a consequence of doing that .
Which leads to stroppy behavior .
As long as you were polite and thoughtful in your refusal you have done right by them .
Ideally you want people to show there true colours early after all who wants to play with the kind of person who turns stroppy over such a little thing as thanks but no thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can demand, reject, insist, put off, ask, stipulate etc etc etc anything you wish on your profile. Your profile is yours there to convey your wishes wants like and dislikes and the like. That's why its there after all.
It's your call and if people contact you ignoring them then that's their problem not yours. We are all fussy to some degree and have every right to be so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would standards of who you want to meet change because the site has a different name? "
That's a very good point after all it makes sense to give as much information as you can to get what you want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it depends.
an entire shopping list of do's and dont's will put people off.
there is a chance that some that you would like to meet could discount themselves because they interpret things differently to the way you mean them
possibly better to list those most important to you, then discount people as you see them/they contact you, on their demerits as you see them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not being fussy to have a clear idea of what you want and look for people who best fit that
It is fussy when you find that person but you move on because: they're too dark, too light, an inch too short, an inch too tall, their mouth curls funny when they smile,they shouldn't have picked that outfit when they took that pic, they look great but...,etc, etc.
If you have used any of these or similar: not only are you fussy, you'd be a nightmare if we went to dinner!  |
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OP stick to what YOU like and ignore the rest..... 
