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couples swinging seperately
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By *eeaj OP Couple
over a year ago
derby |
Hi, we have been swinging for a couple of months now. We started by going to a club although we didn't play we enjoyed the experience, we have done a separate room swap with another couple and we went to a second club although we still haven't played. Now we are considering swinging separately.
We (like all couples I hope) have had a few stumbling blocks when it comes to swinging as a couple: we may get talking to a couple who one of us like but the other doesn't. We are also both more comfortable doing different things, One of us prefers separate room while the other prefers same room. One is more of a exhibitionist than the other. Obviously we want to please each other but with us both being in different places swinging wise it made us think about trying things separately.
Another reason we our considering swinging separate is because one of us has a high sex drive and the other likes to try new things. Although ultimately I think we both want to do things mainly together the question is do you think swinging separately can be done successfully? I guess for us successfully would mean making us being even more happy together.
We'd just like to hear about peoples thoughts and experiences. |
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We have been playing around with this for a while now.
We prefer same room as a couple because we both like to watch the other one at work.
However for playing seperately we organise this with couples or singles who do the same - so we will go off to seperate meets with "our own" playmate, usually on the same night.
Some couples are long term who play seperate, some are only fuck buddies who have their own seperate profiles, some started out that way, some started together then did seperate profiles after.
We decided not to have seperate profiles, or even advertise we play seperately on our couple profile, but to contact and vet couples who do seperate play. This seems to have worked out the best, lets us know who the other one is and what they are doing, and creates the option of getting the four of us together at a later date.
One golden rule - No Jealousy.
Find out what works best for you 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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as hsa been said, if you are both at different stages, you really need to talk more and find common ground.
just going off and doing your own things because it neither want to comprimise, is a recipe for divorce, imo.
have either of you thought you may not actually be ready to do this yet? |
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what we think will happen is the female half of the couple could be out every night while the male sits at home struggling to find any to play with this will then lead to the male half getting rather fed up with the whole thing lots of arguments and so on to follow common ground would be the way to go stick together and work out what you both like xxxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we always talk new things through before we try, get on a common ground and understand each other's fantasies before diving in there always works for us  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what we think will happen is the female half of the couple could be out every night while the male sits at home struggling to find any to play with this will then lead to the male half getting rather fed up with the whole thing"
Yep! Years ago, I was chatting to a beautiful woman. We both hit it off immediately and chatted for weeks planning out our meet, the problem was that she had agreed with her partner that they would be fine to swing separately, but would only meet on nights where they both had a meet arranged.
Needless to say, I never got to meet her. |
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"what we think will happen is the female half of the couple could be out every night while the male sits at home struggling to find any to play with this will then lead to the male half getting rather fed up with the whole thing lots of arguments and so on to follow common ground would be the way to go stick together and work out what you both like xxxxxx"
This, what I was going to say to a T.
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By *eeaj OP Couple
over a year ago
derby |
we don't know if we are ready to do this in all honesty. What we agreed is that we wouldn't do anything unless we both felt comfortable. Having only had an experience with one couple its hard to know what our boundaries are.
I think what we have learned so far is that if one of us isn't enjoying it then neither of us can.
Maybe swinging separately is a stage to far for us at the present time. Of course jealousy and insecurities are a factor. Its not that we both don't want to do it, I think that its more the consequences that might come from one another sleeping with someone else.
It boils down to this: we both like to fuck! Its just finding a way to do it without it having any negative consequences. Separate room/ swinging separately has the out of sight out of mind factor.
Although in reality it might not be so simple. Same room does offer no unknowns. I think ideally we'd like all three haha. |
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"
One of us prefers separate room while the other prefers same room. One is more of a exhibitionist than the other. Obviously we want to please each other but with us both being in different places swinging wise it made us think about trying things separately.
"
until you are both in the same place swinging wise don't even think about it. If one of you prefers same room how will you ever be comfortable with separate rooms.
My thoughts are that you need to think about this a lot more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My wife & myself were in a very similar position. We talked a lot, she wanted seperate rooms, I didn't. So we didn't.
We visited clubs & happily played on our own, usually in private. Also had two socials with couples.
She then decided that it wasn't for her. After a year or so, I bought it up again. That's when she suggested I play on my own, that was approx 3 years ago.
I play when I can, which includes when I can get a meet, not easy lol, but great fun when people realise that a married man can play with permission without having any worries of a crazed wife knocking on a door lol.
We have (although no longer used) a couples profile. She suggested I create my own, so here I am.
Were still very much in love & it works for us. I hope that one day she will join me in this sexy lifestyle. |
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Every couple is different. As long as you are both happy with whatever decision you make
I play separately but OH doesn't. I also enjoy the social side whereas its all about the sex for him. This works for us and our relationship is better for it.
And as other have said if there are any insecurities or jealousy that needs to be resolved before anything happens. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we don't know if we are ready to do this in all honesty. What we agreed is that we wouldn't do anything unless we both felt comfortable. Having only had an experience with one couple its hard to know what our boundaries are.
I think what we have learned so far is that if one of us isn't enjoying it then neither of us can.
Maybe swinging separately is a stage to far for us at the present time. Of course jealousy and insecurities are a factor. Its not that we both don't want to do it, I think that its more the consequences that might come from one another sleeping with someone else.
It boils down to this: we both like to fuck! Its just finding a way to do it without it having any negative consequences. Separate room/ swinging separately has the out of sight out of mind factor.
Although in reality it might not be so simple. Same room does offer no unknowns. I think ideally we'd like all three haha. "
warning lights and alarms are going off here with me.
you dont know your boundaries and you have already entered into situations?
the FIRST thing that should be sorted out ids boundaries.
you both need to know the point where NO is used, because once you know your partner has gone too far, its very difficult to get that image from your mind.
would you be happy seing your partner with his cock stuffed up another woman (or indeed you with a cock stuffed up you) if the other of you just isnt ready for that???
think you need to do a LOT more talking between yourselves before doing anything else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"maybe you are right.
How did you both know you were ready to swing?"
us?
we didnt.
we were lying in bad one evening, and were just talking.
V expressed an interest in being with another woman, and we took it from there.
however, before we even considered talking to anyone we investigated the different forms of playing, and discussed how far we wanted to go.
we agreed that neither of us had any interest in having full sex with anyone else
her interest with being with other women was more interesting to her than being with other men.
since then, we have found that she isnt THAT interested in women, or rather we havent met a woman that has made her go weak at the knees, however, we both like her sucking cock, so we are going further down this route.
meeting couples, and the odd single blokes for oral fun involving play, up to the point of having full sex with other people.
it works for us and we are happy with it.
she has expressed a wish to see me have full sex with another woman, but im not interested in that, so we are happy to leave it as a fantasy. |
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I always talk to my partners and try to vid or take pics whenever possible, it helps make each other part of the experience, so for me, swinging "only" together would definitely stifle us both, and that would end the relationship! 
