FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > chat then vanish??? :/
chat then vanish??? :/
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We just vanished on a guy we were chatting too we wanted to meet but as soon as we said safe sex only and only cum in condom he stopped chatting so we cancelled was his loss as were genuine and hed of bee gauranteed great fuck with bev |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So glad this doesn't just happen to me. I have noticed a trend though, the vanishers don't make much of an effort in messages and usually keep to one sentence if lucky. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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yep you got it burt! short and sweet replies lol...no effort at all and you think why did they bother.
then you get the ones that say "stay in touch" then they never spk again...so rude! |
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"oh its a ruddy nightmare lol!
and when you mention meeting they vanish!
we are staying positive though 
seek and we shall find! (hopefuly
"
You're talking to fakes who have gotten a load of pictures out of you (probably) and now the idea of a real meet is on the cards they obviously cant so its either block or leave.
Try to pick people who are verified, try to get them onto a webcam early on to verify they are real.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's the chat, set up meet, cancel meet with the promise to rearrange, disappear types that annoy me more. Or I'll set a day free and then hear nothing. So could be a wasted day. Usually isn't, but that's not the point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hey everyone....why is it when you start chatting and getting on with someone for a few days you mention meeting and they vanish???  "
Fear things are moving to fast for them by asking for a meet you have made it real.
Which is not a bad thing if there ready to meet but if there not quite ready yet then its off putting .
You see in my experience not everyone is up for meeting straight away if you ask to soon its like your not really interesting in them past the sex .
I very rarely offer to meet unless the person I'm talking to hints or says lets meet.
You see I believe the decision when to meet and how soon is not mine to make at best its a joint decision but in reality its always the women's decision on when and how soon to meet someone . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's down to your selection process, those that continually get messed about need to step back and reevaluate how you are choosing new contacts.
If they are not meet verified and those that meet varied them are not meet verified we simply pass them by.
If the veri's are hidden, mahooooosively easy to fake a veri profile then hide veri, we simply pass them by.
Many many years of happy playing using this very simple method  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hey everyone....why is it when you start chatting and getting on with someone for a few days you mention meeting and they vanish??? "
Somewhat rude I'd say. The whole purpose is to meet! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to be considerate and accept that not everybody is online all the time (at least not on here) and some have very busy lives indeed. But when 5 days ago a coffee meet was arranged for this morning (40 mile roundtrip for me), with a promise to chat some more until then, and then nothing ...
I sent a message very late last night stating that a few lines to announce cancelling if that were the case would have been appreciated. The reply was actually he rather just call it a day.
Hm. In my view a confirmation yesterday would have been entirely normal.
If someone says he'll be in touch beforehand, then I take his word for it.
Am I being naive or what? Should I have been more proactive? |
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"
If someone says he'll be in touch beforehand, then I take his word for it.
Am I being naive or what? Should I have been more proactive?"
In my view no - I have never had a no show, but 'failure to confirm' is still bad mannered if they do not let you know. Life makes us change our plans all the time, sometimes we just have a change of heart - that's all OK as long as we communicate in good time so as not to inconvenience other people.
I am trusting to the point of naivity too, I think to myself 'Oh maybe they are busy, maybe they mean what they say like me and don't need to keep in touch....'
But bottom line I have learned if a man wants to see you, he'll keep in touch, if he doesn't I assume he's going AWOL and act accordingly! |
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"We just vanished on a guy we were chatting too we wanted to meet but as soon as we said safe sex only and only cum in condom he stopped chatting so we cancelled was his loss as were genuine and hed of bee gauranteed great fuck with bev"
But he only wanted to share his diseased cock with you, how dare you take your health seriously  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After reading though this post I feel I must just point out that .
Yes this mad world maybe full of timewasters picture collectors and god knows what else.
But moaning about such will never never stop you from dealing with such people.
I prefer a live and let live outlook to those who would waste my time given the chance in fact
I don't view it as wasting my time as that would employ that the chats were in no way entertaining and the human interaction leading up to the dates was a complete waste of time .
Which in my experience they never are its a let down that they never lead to sex but hay in the real world flirting at the bar doesn't guarantee sex ether but its still fun .
Oh well I'll shut up there as clearly my out look is at odds with many in this post  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hey everyone....why is it when you start chatting and getting on with someone for a few days you mention meeting and they vanish??? "
My experience that's the FAB mantra for couples!! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After reading though this post I feel I must just point out that .
Yes this mad world maybe full of timewasters picture collectors and god knows what else.
But moaning about such will never never stop you from dealing with such people.
I prefer a live and let live outlook to those who would waste my time given the chance in fact
I don't view it as wasting my time as that would employ that the chats were in no way entertaining and the human interaction leading up to the dates was a complete waste of time .
Which in my experience they never are its a let down that they never lead to sex but hay in the real world flirting at the bar doesn't guarantee sex ether but its still fun .
Oh well I'll shut up there as clearly my out look is at odds with many in this post "
You're right of course - if the run up (i.e. the chat) to the meet wasn't OK/nice , then what's the point of going through with the meet. It's the fact that everything seems OK but apparently for one party the spark has gone but that party fails to communicate that bit, that riles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
You're right of course - if the run up (i.e. the chat) to the meet wasn't OK/nice , then what's the point of going through with the meet. It's the fact that everything seems OK but apparently for one party the spark has gone but that party fails to communicate that bit, that riles."
The written word is terrible for being 'misunderstood' or 'misinterpreted' and quite frankly I have no practical solution for that.
We use a tried and tested selection process which involves veri', veri's of veri' and more often than not veri's of veri's of veri's and anything that even 'sniffs' remotely gets passed by, not foolproof but touch wood is working well for us. |
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We can be bad for this, often we will organise a meet after a brief chat (going that chatting isn't always a measure of a person) so we arrange a social. The date and time goes in the diary and we carry on.
From time to time the messages will drop off the bottom of our message logs and we forget to reconfirm.
This very day I've just messaged someone that we arranged to meet 2 weeks ago to confirm for this evening. And to be honest I feel guilty as hell, but we are just so busy.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We can be bad for this, often we will organise a meet after a brief chat (going that chatting isn't always a measure of a person) so we arrange a social. The date and time goes in the diary and we carry on.
From time to time the messages will drop off the bottom of our message logs and we forget to reconfirm.
This very day I've just messaged someone that we arranged to meet 2 weeks ago to confirm for this evening. And to be honest I feel guilty as hell, but we are just so busy.
"
Just about to message someone to say we can't do this weekend, also feel quite guilty but as we have actually met them for a social they know we are genuine so fingers crossed they understand |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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thanks for all your input guys and we are still sad to say we havnt had one meet yet :/
plenty of chats and a couple of near meets (one had a coldsore spring up on the day of the meet lol and didnt make it...hmmmmm...)
put new pics on jiggled our profile around but nothing 
get plenty of "wow you two look nice" comments but they just still keep vanishing...gettin a bit fed up now boohoo lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It sometimes happens the other way too. I was chatting to a girl on here for a few days, bit of flirty banter etc. and she suggested meeting. I replied "when's good for you?" and she never got back to me (this was like 3 months ago and she's logged on since). Ah well, her loss. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So glad this doesn't just happen to me. I have noticed a trend though, the vanishers don't make much of an effort in messages and usually keep to one sentence if lucky."
Yes, this happened to me on Saturday. It takes all sorts I guess? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always switch to whats app if I have arranged a meet. Messages on here can get lost far too quickly and drift away. Ive had it happen loads of times as they fall off the page. If the guy wont swap numbers ( rarely but does happen ) I just lose interest - too many others to choose from. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happened last night to us. Chatting to somebody, they asked for a face pic, sent them one & never heard from them again!
I can understand & appreciate if we aren't their type but would have been nice to have been told rather than disappearing.
Manners cost nothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most common for me is chatting for ages, say they will meet and when I say will not meet without chatting to both of them on the phone, the messages never get replied or they say they do not give out phone numbers  |
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"Happened last night to us. Chatting to somebody, they asked for a face pic, sent them one & never heard from them again!
I can understand & appreciate if we aren't their type but would have been nice to have been told rather than disappearing.
Manners cost nothing "
But they are in short supply on here |
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"yep you got it burt! short and sweet replies lol...no effort at all and you think why did they bother.
then you get the ones that say "stay in touch" then they never spk again...so rude! "
i agree manners cost nothing and it is always nice that someone makes an affort to write a reply rather than just saying ina lazy way for example "me 2 lol x". I guess as we all know there are people on here for all sorts of reasons.Some will loose there bottle too at the last moment. hey ho its xmas ...merry xmas xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe...they just don't meet strangers!
A single fem meeting TWO strangers? A few days chat wouldn't do it for me either, I aint that easy!  "
But simply vanishing without expressing nerves or a desire to continue relationship building is bad form, I feel.
However, OP has a nice profile with a great set of pics, so I'm sure they'll find people who maintain interest... Clubs are always a good option I suspect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ditto.
I put serious effort in to actually meet fems and couples. I am often told a meet is definitely on the cards. When after time passes and I politely enquire as to an approximate, days or weeks? I am often fed " keep in touch '
Sorry but two.strike rule now applies. I.e
I never ask third time lucky....times too precious to waste on faffers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe...they just don't meet strangers!
A single fem meeting TWO strangers? A few days chat wouldn't do it for me either, I aint that easy!
But simply vanishing without expressing nerves or a desire to continue relationship building is bad form, I feel.
However, OP has a nice profile with a great set of pics, so I'm sure they'll find people who maintain interest... Clubs are always a good option I suspect "
Its a simple way of getting rid of a few hundred messages from folks wantin a quick shag..."Swingers" as opposed to ...the thousands of folk using this as a "sex site", would understand the action.....its not rude, its just...not interested!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try to be considerate and accept that not everybody is online all the time (at least not on here) and some have very busy lives indeed. But when 5 days ago a coffee meet was arranged for this morning (40 mile roundtrip for me), with a promise to chat some more until then, and then nothing ...
I sent a message very late last night stating that a few lines to announce cancelling if that were the case would have been appreciated. The reply was actually he rather just call it a day.
Hm. In my view a confirmation yesterday would have been entirely normal.
If someone says he'll be in touch beforehand, then I take his word for it.
Am I being naive or what? Should I have been more proactive?"
I would be chatting all the way up to the meet and have sent my mob number for them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are very new to this and guess there is always a question of others moving 'too fast'
The 'we can be over in 5 mins' merchants are very off putting as are various other 'key words' in profiles (some of which get the ban hammer lol)
So I guess I (the mr) have been guilty of going a little quiet on people instead of saying 'woah too fast guys'...My much better half is way better and just says 'sorry, not my type' etc.....
It's far better, I know, to be straight with people (or not, oo er missus)....I'm learning
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It happens to us a lot too, good to know we're not alone. We've been wondering what we might have done to upset/ offend people. But I guess sometimes they just change their minds.
Would be nice for people to say so. We always thank the people that say 'thanks but no thanks'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is really frustrating and has happened to me loads (maybe its me lol) people chat for what seems weeks only to stop replying, delete their profile or block you (WTF?!!) One guy who messaged me I offered to meet and he just ignored me, never heard from him again but often saw his status saying he's having no luck, its rubbish on here blah blah. If I'm interested in meeting now I just give my number straight away and say text me, lets meet for a social. If they don't then no bother, no time is wasted with endless messaging that leads nowhere |
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"We just vanished on a guy we were chatting too we wanted to meet but as soon as we said safe sex only and only cum in condom he stopped chatting so we cancelled was his loss as were genuine and hed of bee gauranteed great fuck with bev"
Can I be his substitute? I state on my profile that I will always practice safe sex. |
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"This is really frustrating and has happened to me loads (maybe its me lol) people chat for what seems weeks only to stop replying, delete their profile or block you (WTF?!!) One guy who messaged me I offered to meet and he just ignored me, never heard from him again but often saw his status saying he's having no luck, its rubbish on here blah blah. If I'm interested in meeting now I just give my number straight away and say text me, lets meet for a social. If they don't then no bother, no time is wasted with endless messaging that leads nowhere "
It has happened to me loads of times. mainly with apparent couples. I say apparent as it looks as if its just a bloke having some fun at others' expense. One "couple" even gave me their mobile number, full address and we'd agreed a meeting time, only to disappear soon afterwards and then not answer texts to that mobile number. I just want a simple exchange of messages to see if we click and then just get on with it and meet up. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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wow im amazed it happens to so many of you :/...we have had loads of 3 way kik convos whattsapp convos and even text message convos but they just vanish with no explanation...there are some rude people about...my partner doesnt even come on here now due to messers and timewasters shame realy as we were so excited when we joined...we arent pushy we are very respectful and are decent people but just cant seem to get a sexy lady into our bed lol |
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