FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > If a face pic on profile was mandatory....
If a face pic on profile was mandatory....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No
Mine is already up through choice but have been told it could be from anywhere on the web and that because I choose not to show veris I am a fake I don't see how it being mandatory is going to help.
Brian from Clacton  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
even though i have mind up..... no
I did it as a decision for me... no one else...
why so many people are focused on trying to change the site is beyond me, if there are other sites that do the stuff you want, just go!!
the good thing about fab is that it isn't like other sites, and that is what the quirky nature of it that brings people in.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No - and it is not a question of shame, I am not ashamed or I would not be here.
It is one of discretion. Do not forget society has yet to embrace swinging as totally acceptable. Those that have families, can have the fingers of critics pointed at their mothers, fathers, children, work colleagues and friends; people who have not chosen this lifestyle. |
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Why do people assume if you don't have your face plastered all over the site you're ashamed?!!
Has it occurred to some of you that never everyone wants the world and his wife knowing their private business?!!  |
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"No - and it is not a question of shame, I am not ashamed or I would not be here.
It is one of discretion. Do not forget society has yet to embrace swinging as totally acceptable. Those that have families, can have the fingers of critics pointed at their mothers, fathers, children, work colleagues and friends; people who have not chosen this lifestyle. "
Exactly!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No - and it is not a question of shame, I am not ashamed or I would not be here.
It is one of discretion. Do not forget society has yet to embrace swinging as totally acceptable. Those that have families, can have the fingers of critics pointed at their mothers, fathers, children, work colleagues and friends; people who have not chosen this lifestyle. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No would definitely not be here if mandatory. We do not feel that face pics actually prove who you are anyway - i have seen many that are at least 10 yrs out of date or even cut and paste from other profiles. if people want to see us before a meet we are happy to cam, that way both sides can see as is now, not years ago lol!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Interesting.
I totally agree its got nothing to do with being ashamed. For me its more about protecting my family/kids and job.
Its a very personnal hobby of ours, theres no need for tom, dick and harry to know our ins and outs. No puns intended |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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face pics are a tough one. mandatory would save shitloads of time and in some cases effort in messaging back n forth and getting to the stage of swapping pics only to find you dont like what you see
but then most of us dont want every tom, dick n harry seeing our mugs onhere and what we get upto
i think full body shots should be mandatory though as that would save alot of time as well  sick of the the shots flashing a tit or 1/5 of a thigh ffs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have my face pic on show, it wouldn't bother me if it was mandated or not. If people on the street know me off here and say anything then ibwould know they were on here too so it's not a big issue for me. |
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"
i think full body shots should be mandatory though as that would save alot of time as well sick of the the shots flashing a tit or 1/5 of a thigh ffs "
I don't think ANY type of picture should be mandatory on your profile - it's up to people to exchange whatever photos they see fit if they want to arrange a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people assume if you don't have your face plastered all over the site you're ashamed?!!
Has it occurred to some of you that never everyone wants the world and his wife knowing their private business?!! "
Those are my thoughts too. I find it amusing how some seem to look down on those that show discretion - misplaced values to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sticking your fizzog on here as a profile picture for all and sundry to see is probably the singularly most disrespectful and selfish things you could ever do with respect to your family, loved ones and friends.
If our kids, our family or our friends ever discovered what we get up to they would quite probably be able to deal with the notion if we sat them down and explained things.
BUT
Or son plays footy at quite a high level so imagine the piss taking that would go on if any and everyone he played with or against knew of our swinging life.
Just the tip of the iceberg
Every time I read these threads I wonder if any of those 'we have nothing to be embarrassed about' respondents to this question have actually thought thing through properly
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sticking your fizzog on here as a profile picture for all and sundry to see is probably the singularly most disrespectful and selfish things you could ever do with respect to your family, loved ones and friends.
If our kids, our family or our friends ever discovered what we get up to they would quite probably be able to deal with the notion if we sat them down and explained things.
BUT
Or son plays footy at quite a high level so imagine the piss taking that would go on if any and everyone he played with or against knew of our swinging life.
Just the tip of the iceberg
Every time I read these threads I wonder if any of those 'we have nothing to be embarrassed about' respondents to this question have actually thought thing through properly
"
We've known couples who've "come out" to their friends/family and for the most part have been met with "We wondered when you were going to tell us" or "Cool!".
Many swingers don't give their family credit for common sense in being able to work things out.
We're upfront about what we do, or in our case did, to those who have broached the subject.
The reason being is that we'd much rather people knew from us before someone else found out and told all and sundry at the most inopportune moment.
If you don't care about people knowing then they can't get one over on you if/when they find out.
For those who say that society isn't yet acceptable of swinging, then perhaps if more people were open about it things would change.
Many things in society, whether racial, political or sexual, have only become acceptable because people had the bottle to stand up for what they believe in. 
XXXX |
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"
We've known couples who've "come out" to their friends/family and for the most part have been met with "We wondered when you were going to tell us" or "Cool!".
Many swingers don't give their family credit for common sense in being able to work things out.
We're upfront about what we do, or in our case did, to those who have broached the subject.
The reason being is that we'd much rather people knew from us before someone else found out and told all and sundry at the most inopportune moment.
If you don't care about people knowing then they can't get one over on you if/when they find out.
For those who say that society isn't yet acceptable of swinging, then perhaps if more people were open about it things would change.
Many things in society, whether racial, political or sexual, have only become acceptable because people had the bottle to stand up for what they believe in.
XXXX"
All very admirable but I don't fancy making my point from a dole queue. In my job, knowledge of my involvement in this lifestyle would earn me a P45. Sorry, but I don't value my 'freedom of choice' as much as I do my job and regular pay packet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a single girl with just " face " and a couple of body shots - doesnt bother me ( I have no "bits" or sex pics on at all ) ... If I was in a couple I * may* feel different - dunno - not ashamed of what I like xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
We've known couples who've "come out" to their friends/family and for the most part have been met with "We wondered when you were going to tell us" or "Cool!".
Many swingers don't give their family credit for common sense in being able to work things out.
We're upfront about what we do, or in our case did, to those who have broached the subject.
The reason being is that we'd much rather people knew from us before someone else found out and told all and sundry at the most inopportune moment.
If you don't care about people knowing then they can't get one over on you if/when they find out.
For those who say that society isn't yet acceptable of swinging, then perhaps if more people were open about it things would change.
Many things in society, whether racial, political or sexual, have only become acceptable because people had the bottle to stand up for what they believe in.
XXXX
All very admirable but I don't fancy making my point from a dole queue. In my job, knowledge of my involvement in this lifestyle would earn me a P45. Sorry, but I don't value my 'freedom of choice' as much as I do my job and regular pay packet "
We both have public jobs, one in local authority the other in the health service, never any problems.
The job excuse seems to be a very common one but these days any company trying to go down that road would be leaving themselves open to a costly tribunal.
Unless you did something stupid at work, then what you do in the outside world has nothing to do with them.
We'd suggest that the many "faceless" people on here who admit to logging on to FabS and other such sites, while at work, are skating on much thinner ice.
Probably the real reason for a lot of anonymity is the fear of and inability to deal with any possible ridicule. 
XXXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well if you can do I suppose everybody should 
It isn't only the job/family etc. factor for me, it's also a little self respect and respect that perhaps others don't want to know my sexual interests. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well if you can do I suppose everybody should
It isn't only the job/family etc. factor for me, it's also a little self respect and respect that perhaps others don't want to know my sexual interests."
So what your saying is that you'd lose respect for yourself if people knew you were a swinger, or in other words you'd be ashamed.
If you'd be ashamed of doing something if found out, it's always best not to do it.
As for others "knowing your sexual interests", no one needs to know unless they ask you, then would you lie about it and deny it or stand up for the lifestyle you've chosen? R
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
We've known couples who've "come out" to their friends/family and for the most part have been met with "We wondered when you were going to tell us" or "Cool!".
Many swingers don't give their family credit for common sense in being able to work things out.
We're upfront about what we do, or in our case did, to those who have broached the subject.
The reason being is that we'd much rather people knew from us before someone else found out and told all and sundry at the most inopportune moment.
If you don't care about people knowing then they can't get one over on you if/when they find out.
For those who say that society isn't yet acceptable of swinging, then perhaps if more people were open about it things would change.
Many things in society, whether racial, political or sexual, have only become acceptable because people had the bottle to stand up for what they believe in.
XXXX
All very admirable but I don't fancy making my point from a dole queue. In my job, knowledge of my involvement in this lifestyle would earn me a P45. Sorry, but I don't value my 'freedom of choice' as much as I do my job and regular pay packet
We both have public jobs, one in local authority the other in the health service, never any problems.
The job excuse seems to be a very common one but these days any company trying to go down that road would be leaving themselves open to a costly tribunal.
Unless you did something stupid at work, then what you do in the outside world has nothing to do with them.
We'd suggest that the many "faceless" people on here who admit to logging on to FabS and other such sites, while at work, are skating on much thinner ice.
Probably the real reason for a lot of anonymity is the fear of and inability to deal with any possible ridicule.
XXXX"
I agree with your last comment as I work for a housing association and we had a complaint from someone about their neighbour who was swinging and all staff did was make snide comments and ridicule so I don't mention where I have met my friends, better for my state of well being especially at the moment  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
We've known couples who've "come out" to their friends/family and for the most part have been met with "We wondered when you were going to tell us" or "Cool!".
Many swingers don't give their family credit for common sense in being able to work things out.
We're upfront about what we do, or in our case did, to those who have broached the subject.
The reason being is that we'd much rather people knew from us before someone else found out and told all and sundry at the most inopportune moment.
If you don't care about people knowing then they can't get one over on you if/when they find out.
For those who say that society isn't yet acceptable of swinging, then perhaps if more people were open about it things would change.
Many things in society, whether racial, political or sexual, have only become acceptable because people had the bottle to stand up for what they believe in.
XXXX
All very admirable but I don't fancy making my point from a dole queue. In my job, knowledge of my involvement in this lifestyle would earn me a P45. Sorry, but I don't value my 'freedom of choice' as much as I do my job and regular pay packet
We both have public jobs, one in local authority the other in the health service, never any problems.
The job excuse seems to be a very common one but these days any company trying to go down that road would be leaving themselves open to a costly tribunal.
Unless you did something stupid at work, then what you do in the outside world has nothing to do with them.
We'd suggest that the many "faceless" people on here who admit to logging on to FabS and other such sites, while at work, are skating on much thinner ice.
Probably the real reason for a lot of anonymity is the fear of and inability to deal with any possible ridicule.
XXXX"
Having family and friends who understand is only the start of it, hence we wonder if those folk with the 'News of the World' approach have really thought things through.
It's not just the opinions of our loved ones that we have as the focal point for our wishing to keep our sex lives private it's the potential ridicule THEY could face in their everyday lives.
If what we did got out how long would it be before their Facebook pages, Twitter Accounts etc etc were awash with juvenile jibes and taunts?
Our nieces and nephews are part of our FB circle so how long before they are drawn into it?
Throw a stone in a pond and watch the circles!
We love our family dearly would never do anything to put THEIR happiness at risk, if others choose to do otherwise that's their choice however there is enough hurt in the world without us deliberately risking fucking up a whole bunch of lives just because we wanted to big ourselves up!
In my previous job I had to have a very high security clearance, shan't boast as to why. Suffice to say that publishing what we get up to could have have put me at risk of being compromised, which in turn would have compromised my ability to do my job which would have compromised my suitability for some posts which would have compromised my potential for promotion.............
All because I wanted to show off and boast about my sexual prowess, dear god
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Yes but it should be in friends only so you can choose to send it.
It makes me laugh though amount of messages I get saying fab taking ages to upload and going to be a week or so haha
So yes on registration you should all have to be verified and that pic is in friends only part  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What I don't get is how people we know will find out, the people that will find out will have to be on the site looking at pictures to be able to find you, if they then out you are they not outing there self at the same time? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well if you can do I suppose everybody should
It isn't only the job/family etc. factor for me, it's also a little self respect and respect that perhaps others don't want to know my sexual interests.
So what your saying is that you'd lose respect for yourself if people knew you were a swinger, or in other words you'd be ashamed.
If you'd be ashamed of doing something if found out, it's always best not to do it.
As for others "knowing your sexual interests", no one needs to know unless they ask you, then would you lie about it and deny it or stand up for the lifestyle you've chosen? R
"
Nope what I'm saying is as I wrote previously. I don't think personally that it's incompatible to enjoy all manner of sexual preferences but still to choose to keep them private from others who probably prefer them kept that way.
Similarly I find suggestive photos far more appealing than gaping holes - in your face isn't often attractive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I don't get is how people we know will find out, the people that will find out will have to be on the site looking at pictures to be able to find you, if they then out you are they not outing there self at the same time? "
Do you believe the majority of people signed up to this site are actually swingers?
I don't. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What I don't get is how people we know will find out, the people that will find out will have to be on the site looking at pictures to be able to find you, if they then out you are they not outing there self at the same time? "
I know many a single guy on here who don't know me, some drink in my local.
Now they don't have kids or jobs to worry about and as young single lads I know they would be showing my profile to their mates and that's how everyone will find out
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I don't get is how people we know will find out, the people that will find out will have to be on the site looking at pictures to be able to find you, if they then out you are they not outing there self at the same time? "
Imagine for a moment they don't give a flying f@@k who knows anything about what they do and who they brag to.........then imagine them finding out about you
Reading through this thread should show you that there are plenty of folk out there who have no value what so ever for discretion so would you really want some loud mouth boaster having access to your private life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I don't get is how people we know will find out, the people that will find out will have to be on the site looking at pictures to be able to find you, if they then out you are they not outing there self at the same time?
I know many a single guy on here who don't know me, some drink in my local.
Now they don't have kids or jobs to worry about and as young single lads I know they would be showing my profile to their mates and that's how everyone will find out
"
EXACTLY!!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Shocking there is even a hint of a request to make identifying images public
I don't care about your preference put it in neons outside your house for all I care, but don't expect anyone else to
With threads like this and the let's mock what people have messaged us ones I seriously question the intentions of some on here to keep peoples privacy in mind,
And in this case to save what a few messages to get a face pic, |
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By *9MuppetMan
over a year ago
Bath...ish area |
"What I don't get is how people we know will find out, the people that will find out will have to be on the site looking at pictures to be able to find you, if they then out you are they not outing there self at the same time? "
If only it were that simple - anonymous letter to employer, to family members / anyone in the local area with the same surname with a copy of your profile and you have no end of trouble. The sender is not known but obviously a member of this site
And yes it happened to me.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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for those with nothing and no one to upset then it wouldnt bother, however, venus' kids are way too old, and nosey, to risk them seeing us on a site like this, even though they probably wouldnt care, its still the thought of your mom having sex.
so no for us |
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