FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Getting to know the people you fuck
Getting to know the people you fuck
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Assuming you're here for NSA fun, how much do you want to know about the people you fuck?
I find that it is a fine line between knowing enough so that you're attracted to them and want to fuck them and knowing too much so that it might start putting you off.
Also feel that it changes through time. First few times wanted to know all about them including real identity and now not really fussed if I don't even know their first name... 
What is your experience / opinion ? |
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"Assuming you're here for NSA fun, how much do you want to know about the people you fuck?
I find that it is a fine line between knowing enough so that you're attracted to them and want to fuck them and knowing too much so that it might start putting you off.
Also feel that it changes through time. First few times wanted to know all about them including real identity and now not really fussed if I don't even know their first name...
What is your experience / opinion ?"
i'm with you no need to know too much why would you for nsa  |
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I don't wanna know everything from a person, but if you start to meet someone on a regular basis, its nice to get to know them.
The more I get to know someone, the sex is always better.
If its gonna be a one off, just their first name will do! |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
Like the OP I used to find out everything before I met with them when I first joined this site.
But now it depends on the situation to me and what I want from them. If I intend for it to be a one off, I don't really find out all that much. But if we want to meet a few times I still get to know all about them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No strings means just that to me.
So long as they're clean, respectful and not potential axe murderers I don't want to know anything more.
I like my swinging sex life to be separate from my social life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a very interesting thread and no doubt as it gets more responses will get many different opinions . I think the perspective from singles may differ from couples over all as couples generally have each other for the more intimate feelings . Not always of course , but we find that getting to know folk too well can spoil the play . The first spontaneous meet is always the best for us and subsequent mets rarely live up to the thrill of the first .
As for knowing all about the others .... more often than not the not knowing names etc...makes it more exciting ! As long as there is a connectiin and they are clean it really doesn't matter to us what they do for a living , where they live , how many kids they have or their favourite food .
When we have been to clubs and got chatting to people at length we have often found that the chatting inhibits the spontaneity and the more we get to know them , the less likely we are to play .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I'm going to have sex and not spend any time socialising first then I might just as well use my dildo - I don't need to know it's life history or chat with it and it does the job just as well - and when it's finished I can just chuck it out of bed, curl up and go to sleep.
If I'm going to the trouble of interacting with someone human then I want more - I want to spend a little time getting to know them, to enjoy a little social contact, and to enjoy watching their face as they feel pleasure next to me... I might not be going to see them again, but I want to enjoy their company while I'm there.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I rarely even know a name...  got the odd person I know their name, and one or two that I know lots and lots about.. only one person that gets into my panties knows lots about me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to know what sort of work they do and what they wear and the sort of house they live in, you get an idea by their pictures and what they say without asking them. Other than that i dont want to know anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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".........and the sort of house they live in,............ Other than that i dont want to know anymore."
sorry for the snipped quote, but if someone asked what sort of house we had, I would think they were angling to move in, not meet for sex.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Assuming you're here for NSA fun, how much do you want to know about the people you fuck"
nothing,i don't want to know what grades the kids have just got or where the hubby works,brief chit chat fuck and go is best as my mrs thinks getting too familiar or regular meets means there is a chance to start falling for someone. |
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There are some people we've really liked from the first meet, wanted to know more about them and played again. Some are now really good friends. There were others we've have fun sex with and just left it at that.
The great thing about swinging is you get to have sex with friends and casual sex. Both are great in their own way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There are some people we've really liked from the first meet, wanted to know more about them and played again. Some are now really good friends. There were others we've have fun sex with and just left it at that.
The great thing about swinging is you get to have sex with friends and casual sex. Both are great in their own way."
Yes, you're right.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't wanna know everything from a person, but if you start to meet someone on a regular basis, its nice to get to know them.
The more I get to know someone, the sex is always better.
If its gonna be a one off, just their first name will do!"
If after a few messages and a social, if there is a connection, I like to know everything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My lady friend and I find that if you get on well with the people then the sex is better. You are more confident about discussing the play and when we all have a little break you can chat without being uncomfortable.
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"Getting to know someone adds to the experience "
This.
I prefer to have a little getting to know people. I like to think I would enjoy a chat and a drink with them even if no sex was involved.
Its not set in concrete,but I prefer to walk away as friends,rather than not even knowing their name(which I have had in the past,in clubs) |
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Same here, if we meet another couple regularily then we will get to know them. We have met couples and have become so close that we now work together. It adds to the sex and really makes it better.
If we want a quick fuck with others- we go to a club. Simples.
Different strokes for different folks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a very interesting thread and no doubt as it gets more responses will get many different opinions . I think the perspective from singles may differ from couples over all as couples generally have each other for the more intimate feelings . Not always of course , but we find that getting to know folk too well can spoil the play . The first spontaneous meet is always the best for us and subsequent mets rarely live up to the thrill of the first .
As for knowing all about the others .... more often than not the not knowing names etc...makes it more exciting ! As long as there is a connectiin and they are clean it really doesn't matter to us what they do for a living , where they live , how many kids they have or their favourite food .
When we have been to clubs and got chatting to people at length we have often found that the chatting inhibits the spontaneity and the more we get to know them , the less likely we are to play .
"
What they said  |
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With us it depends on the scenario we want from a meet ... if its just we want a bloke or blokes to come and fuck tabitha and shes ready on the bed .. then we dont need or want to know anything about them it adds more to the thrill and excitement of being fucked . If we meet a couple for swapping we feel we want to know a bit more as its more of a social scenario and we have genareal chat and a drink to flirt and iadd to the exciement of whats going to hapoen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Like the OP I used to find out everything before I met with them when I first joined this site.
But now it depends on the situation to me and what I want from them. If I intend for it to be a one off, I don't really find out all that much. But if we want to meet a few times I still get to know all about them.
"
^ this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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".........and the sort of house they live in,............ Other than that i dont want to know anymore.
sorry for the snipped quote, but if someone asked what sort of house we had, I would think they were angling to move in, not meet for sex. "
I wouldnt want to meet someone who lived in a doss house.
if they live in a nicely decorated house then they are more likely to be clean, tidy and inteligent, which is the sort of man i would prefer to meet. |
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"Assuming you're here for NSA fun, how much do you want to know about the people you fuck?
I find that it is a fine line between knowing enough so that you're attracted to them and want to fuck them and knowing too much so that it might start putting you off.
Also feel that it changes through time. First few times wanted to know all about them including real identity and now not really fussed if I don't even know their first name...
What is your experience / opinion ?"
As all things I take an individual approach. One of my playmates of six years standing I just know his first name, seldom hear him talk and all I know is he's a director in a IT company. Another I know what he has for breakfast, whether he's bunged up or didn't wake up with a stiffy! There are others all points in between.
All give me endless pleasure but I don't meet them regularly even though we're in contact and that keeps it fresh and exciting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have had people ask.... so what are your real names,where in chester do you live,what do you do for a job,what car do you drive. Fuck me do they work for the vat man or somthing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Assuming you're here for NSA fun, how much do you want to know about the people you fuck?
I find that it is a fine line between knowing enough so that you're attracted to them and want to fuck them and knowing too much so that it might start putting you off.
Also feel that it changes through time. First few times wanted to know all about them including real identity and now not really fussed if I don't even know their first name...
What is your experience / opinion ?"
Its an interesting question if your intention is NSA although I suspect many are after a bit more than NSA here. Personally I like to be able to know enough so chat and conversation is free flowing I like to know enough to be on good terms with people. I don't want to know job, extended family problems and woes as that's not personally what I am here for.  |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"There are some people we've really liked from the first meet, wanted to know more about them and played again. Some are now really good friends. There were others we've have fun sex with and just left it at that.
The great thing about swinging is you get to have sex with friends and casual sex. Both are great in their own way."
|
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By *andWCouple
over a year ago
Pontypridd |
"There are some people we've really liked from the first meet, wanted to know more about them and played again. Some are now really good friends. There were others we've have fun sex with and just left it at that.
The great thing about swinging is you get to have sex with friends and casual sex. Both are great in their own way.
"
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"If I'm going to have sex and not spend any time socialising first then I might just as well use my dildo - I don't need to know it's life history or chat with it and it does the job just as well - and when it's finished I can just chuck it out of bed, curl up and go to sleep.
If I'm going to the trouble of interacting with someone human then I want more - I want to spend a little time getting to know them, to enjoy a little social contact, and to enjoy watching their face as they feel pleasure next to me... I might not be going to see them again, but I want to enjoy their company while I'm there...."
Brilliant, that is how I feel, and yes I totally understand that couples and singles are totally different to what each is looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't need to know anything personal, i like to have a drink and a chat first but just to get a feel for them, i wouldn't dream of asking personal questions like where they live, work, if they have kids etc and find it off putting if they ask me personal questions, i usually stick to neutral topics like past swinging experiences what clubs they have been to etc |
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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
"If I'm going to have sex and not spend any time socialising first then I might just as well use my dildo - I don't need to know it's life history or chat with it and it does the job just as well - and when it's finished I can just chuck it out of bed, curl up and go to sleep.
If I'm going to the trouble of interacting with someone human then I want more - I want to spend a little time getting to know them, to enjoy a little social contact, and to enjoy watching their face as they feel pleasure next to me... I might not be going to see them again, but I want to enjoy their company while I'm there....
Brilliant, that is how I feel, and yes I totally understand that couples and singles are totally different to what each is looking for. "
I feel the exact same way as well. I am not much of a fuck and go type person, and if I am going to get naked with someone I need to be have my brain stimulated before anything else.
I don't need to know a person's life history, but a chat and a laugh over a drink is plenty enough to judge what type of person they are and if we are compatible. I don't want to shag someone I don't get along with or have no connection with.
And of course a lot of my meets have been one offs and they have been great, but others I have met with multiple times and it's just natural that you get to know each other better the more times you see each other.
I do at least like to know their real first name though. I need to know what name to scream out  |
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I think it's also a fine line
knowing too much can ruin the mystery and excitement but not knowing enough can also spoil the fun as you know what buttons to press from getting to know somebody a little better |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
maybe i am strange for a bloke...
I want to know enough about the people I potentially play with so that they are not some random "piece of meat"....
some people can play that way, I just cant...
I am very much a "friends with benefits" person |
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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
"maybe i am strange for a bloke...
I want to know enough about the people I potentially play with so that they are not some random "piece of meat"....
some people can play that way, I just cant...
I am very much a "friends with benefits" person"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting thread... I am constantly learning and I agree with op that the more I do this the more I think I don't want to know too much "
Same here
I was also told by someone who's been into swinging for a long time that its best not to ask too many questions |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't wanna know everything from a person, but if you start to meet someone on a regular basis, its nice to get to know them.
The more I get to know someone, the sex is always better.
If its gonna be a one off, just their first name will do!"
Same here. A lot of my meets have become good friends now tho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a nosy cow !! I wanna know the in's and out's of a cats arse! Just like a regular vanilla friendship for me, but with benefits
Want to play with a person ! Not just a body! |
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