I'm in a new relationship with a man of little experience but very talented, if you catch my drift
I'm slowly introducing him the our world and he is, of course, loving it.
He wants to explore his desire for pain and the infliction of it upon his delightful body. Now, I can do it and indeed have but it makes me laugh because I don't get it and he doesn't need me giggling whilst trying to enjoy himself.
He completely understands and is amazed that he has my blessing to explore this further.
How can we go about this? I have no desire to be involved as seeing him in a sub role would be a negative experience for me and I have explained this to him. He is not interested in the humiliation side of things, just the pain/pleasure thing and taking it to the maximum level he can tolerate.
He is completely new to swinging so would you recommend a fet night in a club? Any other suggestions? |
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"with your experience, number of verifications, and your profile, you could write a book, about pleasing a man, it seems strange for you to ask"
I'm not dom in any way and I have no experience of the fet scene, I also don't want to be directly involved in it, but thanks for the compliment. |
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How can we go about this? I have no desire to be involved as seeing him in a sub role would be a negative experience for me and I have explained this to him. "
Does he want to be a sub or to explore the pleasure to be found in the grey area between pain and pleasure because the two are not necessarily connected.
"He is not interested in the humiliation side of things, just the pain/pleasure thing and taking it to the maximum level he can tolerate."
He is a sensation slut. This is in my experience quite common in men. In fact the clue is, the taking it to the max comment.
"He is completely new to swinging so would you recommend a fet night in a club? Any other suggestions?"
In my experience fet nights in swing clubs are no more fet than any other nights there. Fet nights in BDSM clubs are probably a little too asexual for what your man is looking for.
The problem you have is finding somebody who you believe has the ability and inclination required. Frankly the venue could be anywhere. I have a feeling you will not struggle to get offers.
I suspect though that you not being involved might make your man able to truly enjoy himself less likely. I would suggest you get somebody to teach you some tricks of the trade, using him as guineapig. If you see how aroused this sort of play can make him you might get the point of why you would want to do this sort of thing to him. |
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"
How can we go about this? I have no desire to be involved as seeing him in a sub role would be a negative experience for me and I have explained this to him.
Does he want to be a sub or to explore the pleasure to be found in the grey area between pain and pleasure because the two are not necessarily connected.
He is not interested in the humiliation side of things, just the pain/pleasure thing and taking it to the maximum level he can tolerate.
He is a sensation slut. This is in my experience quite common in men. In fact the clue is, the taking it to the max comment.
He is completely new to swinging so would you recommend a fet night in a club? Any other suggestions?
In my experience fet nights in swing clubs are no more fet than any other nights there. Fet nights in BDSM clubs are probably a little too asexual for what your man is looking for.
The problem you have is finding somebody who you believe has the ability and inclination required. Frankly the venue could be anywhere. I have a feeling you will not struggle to get offers.
I suspect though that you not being involved might make your man able to truly enjoy himself less likely. I would suggest you get somebody to teach you some tricks of the trade, using him as guineapig. If you see how aroused this sort of play can make him you might get the point of why you would want to do this sort of thing to him."
You star!
He is not interested in being sub at all. Having said that, he has never really had the chance to explore fully before so who knows? As for the asexuality of it, I think it would appeal to him. We were talking about it last night and he found it a huge turn-on to think about getting it on with me after he had experienced pain at the hands of another.
I have a problem with it. Not the physicality of it, or why he finds it a turn on, heck, I like a little rough play. My problem is one of respect. I know that is a huge word to use and I struggle to explain myself properly. I would see him as less desirable as a man with whom I'm emotionally attached if I were to get involved or watch.
My initial thought was to seek out a woman who offers a paying service and is experienced in all things painful, just so he can feel safe and explore this part of his sexual experience.
When and if we get a couples profile (I'm letting him lead on this one), I'll put some feelers out and see what offers we get.
Thanks for your insight, it has been hugely helpful.
I'm loving the sensation slut thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You mentioned paying... maybe try looking for a pro Domme that would do what he wanted? Pick a respectful one that would make sure she knew what he does/ doesn't like. He could then come home to you for some fun afterwards.
I understand what you mean about you not wanting to be there. Do what's right for you too, not just him.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"with your experience, number of verifications, and your profile, you could write a book, about pleasing a man, it seems strange for you to ask
I'm not dom in any way and I have no experience of the fet scene, I also don't want to be directly involved in it, but thanks for the compliment."
Compliment? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Perhaps look at the local Bdsm events... If he is just looking for the pain then there are plenty out there that cater for it.
Like you.. seeing men be dominated isn't for me.
Cali |
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"with your experience, number of verifications, and your profile, you could write a book, about pleasing a man, it seems strange for you to ask
I'm not dom in any way and I have no experience of the fet scene, I also don't want to be directly involved in it, but thanks for the compliment.
Compliment? "
He said I knew enough about pleasing men to write a book and I take that as a compliment. Especially as I'm already published (nothing to do with sex though). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm in a new relationship with a man of little experience but very talented, if you catch my drift
I'm slowly introducing him the our world and he is, of course, loving it.
He wants to explore his desire for pain and the infliction of it upon his delightful body. Now, I can do it and indeed have but it makes me laugh because I don't get it and he doesn't need me giggling whilst trying to enjoy himself.
He completely understands and is amazed that he has my blessing to explore this further.
How can we go about this? I have no desire to be involved as seeing him in a sub role would be a negative experience for me and I have explained this to him. He is not interested in the humiliation side of things, just the pain/pleasure thing and taking it to the maximum level he can tolerate.
He is completely new to swinging so would you recommend a fet night in a club? Any other suggestions?"
TG is good for eye-candy and looking around,getting a feel for it, and provided you're willing to wait there is some nice equipment to use. Very cliqueish tho', bit cold and quite a few newbies. Club rub, smaller venue, warmer people, not as pretty. Might I suggest him getting a Domme on here. Alt.com too. I met my current slave that way. |
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"TG is good for eye-candy and looking around,getting a feel for it, and provided you're willing to wait there is some nice equipment to use. Very cliqueish tho', bit cold and quite a few newbies. Club rub, smaller venue, warmer people, not as pretty. Might I suggest him getting a Domme on here. Alt.com too. I met my current slave that way."
Thanks.
Is it really that easy to find a Domme here? |
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