FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > how many messages ??
how many messages ??
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"How,many messages does it take for a genuine guy to get offer? My fingers are worn out through typing, will just have to offer tongue only service as fingers are sore ! "
Why don't you count back the messages it took to get the last meet you had  |
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As a new member on here just seems the place is either full of fakes or cpls looking for fems. Used to be on s/heaven but thought id give this a go. Was recommended to use this by a Cpl i play with occasionally, not sure if its that good ?? |
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I was on Swingers Heaven too but have found this site to be far better.
You just have to continue to send polite messages and be realistic about the reply rate as ther eare so many single guys and couples and ladies are so often inundated with messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've found that if they're interested only one or two. A lot of people won't entertain none verified and don't verify after mets. My biggest issue is being outside of lots of women's age categories. Stick at it and when you least expect POW it'll happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a previous member of other sites, i know what to expect but am amazed how many fakes there are on here. It's no wonder everyone looks at single guys all the same... Timewasters !"
I'm my 4 plus years here (was on SH previously) I've come across two properly fake profiles and suffered from three time wasters (my definition is arrange, don't turn up). The only thing you can control on here is how YOU use the site. Maybe take a look at that and the sorts of messages you are sending. Personally I think this site is pretty damn good for FREE...  |
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"As a previous member of other sites, i know what to expect but am amazed how many fakes there are on here. It's no wonder everyone looks at single guys all the same... Timewasters !"
By "fakes" do you mean single guys posing as couples or as women...That does seem to go on here but I generally have found those amongst the "New women" or "New couples" categoreis which I now avoid for that very reason.
I've found most others here to be the real deal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a new member on here just seems the place is either full of fakes or cpls looking for fems. Used to be on s/heaven but thought id give this a go. Was recommended to use this by a Cpl i play with occasionally, not sure if its that good ??"
There are approx 100-1 men to women ratio, so being realistic meets ain't going to happen instantly.
For me, a message showing my profile has been read, from a person within age range is more likely to get a response than the "god knows how many" messages a day I get from guys who clearly have not read my profile or in my age range.
I see loads posts from guys moaning about not getting meets, maybe they need to look at who they are messaging and how they are messaging, and make changes where needed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a new member on here just seems the place is either full of fakes or cpls looking for fems. Used to be on s/heaven but thought id give this a go. Was recommended to use this by a Cpl i play with occasionally, not sure if its that good ??
There are approx 100-1 men to women ratio, so being realistic meets ain't going to happen instantly.
For me, a message showing my profile has been read, from a person within age range is more likely to get a response than the "god knows how many" messages a day I get from guys who clearly have not read my profile or in my age range.
I see loads posts from guys moaning about not getting meets, maybe they need to look at who they are messaging and how they are messaging, and make changes where needed"
I'd have to totally agree your sentiment |
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My experience is that about 30% of the messages I send never even get read, let alone replied to. Another 60% are read but with no reply. Of the 10% that do reply, most are a firm "No thanks". I used to get frustrated by it but now I just shrug my shoulders and move on. Of the few whom I have met, thank you for a lovely time and for treating me with respect.
In the case of the OP, I would suggest removing the cock pic from public view, as most women appear not to appreciate that, and also be open and specific about your status. You can't accommodate, which will be interpreted as married, another issue causing strong feelings on here, as I know from personal experience. You may not be married but, if not, explain why you can't accommodate. |
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"How,many messages does it take for a genuine guy to get offer? My fingers are worn out through typing, will just have to offer tongue only service as fingers are sore ! "
You only joined 3 week ago, give it time mate! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How,many messages does it take for a genuine guy to get offer? My fingers are worn out through typing, will just have to offer tongue only service as fingers are sore ! "
It's probably not popular advice but I just send copy and paste messages that are slightly tweaked depending on the recipient, save my pinkies getting sore  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How,many messages does it take for a genuine guy to get offer? My fingers are worn out through typing, will just have to offer tongue only service as fingers are sore ! "
All to do with luck really and if you click . A nice short letter helps and a nice face.
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Fakes aren't too hard to spot, generally they've been here a while, never been photo verified and they send out loads of friends requests. We block non verified from even contacting us as it s out the wasters and fakes, not all but most.
Our biggest problem is guys that can't read properly or send out genetic messages in the hope of a reply. Example: a guy, today, sent a message saying he'd looked at my profile and pics, liked what he saw, hopes for a meet and do I like chocolate as he's black and unsure if I like chocolate (his words not mine). Now, if you've read my profile and seen my pics I'm pretty certain there's no room for doubt about what I prefer given the choice so it's obvious he hasn't read my profile or looked at my pics. These guys waste my time as much as fakes in my view because I waste my time trawling through these messages to find the guys that can read profiles and send nice messages to me.
In short, be original, send a message tailored to the profile and you'll get a meet. Be genetic our not even bother and expect to be ignored and deleted our even blocked by some.
X
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"Fakes aren't too hard to spot, generally they've been here a while, never been photo verified and they send out loads of friends requests. We block non verified from even contacting us as it s out the wasters and fakes, not all but most.....
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Obviously fakes are fakes however you look at it, but the OP seems to be berating fakes that he is contacting which are presumably couples and women, so I'm not entirely sure why he thinks they are fakes..
People who simply don't reply cannot really be labelled as fakes... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How,many messages does it take for a genuine guy to get offer? My fingers are worn out through typing, will just have to offer tongue only service as fingers are sore ! "
I would think a lot has to do with the quality of the message. Someone could send 10,000 dire messages and get only one reply another could send 100 very good messages and get 10 replies its like asking how long is a piece of string. |
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"How,many messages does it take for a genuine guy to get offer? My fingers are worn out through typing, will just have to offer tongue only service as fingers are sore !
It's probably not popular advice but I just send copy and paste messages that are slightly tweaked depending on the recipient, save my pinkies getting sore "
i type new letters to everyone, think everyone has different tastes and i try to cover these in a personal message to them
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"Fakes aren't too hard to spot, generally they've been here a while, never been photo verified and they send out loads of friends requests. We block non verified from even contacting us as it s out the wasters and fakes, not all but most.....
Obviously fakes are fakes however you look at it, but the OP seems to be berating fakes that he is contacting which are presumably couples and women, so I'm not entirely sure why he thinks they are fakes..
People who simply don't reply cannot really be labelled as fakes..."
maybe i wasn't clear, the fact that so many, guys especially are fake or timewasters tend to give everyone who is single a bad name, though i am sure there are many people posing as something they are not on here also |
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Look at it from another way, a lot of single men do not read the whole profile and what the person is looking for, when we look at a profile we make sure it is what they are looking for, good luck though |
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"Fake single males, that's a new one on us."
timewasters maybe a good description.
but if they never turn up and generally act stupid then maybe they are fake swingers !!
for this posting i will just describe them as timewasters |
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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago
South London |
I haven't really come across any fakes. I mean none that I have interacted with anyway. Fake profiles aren't that difficult to spot really and using tineye to check pics only takes a second.
As for timewasters, I think different people use this term in different ways. To me a timewaster is, as others have said, someone who arranges a meet then doesn't turn up. This has only happened to me once in 5 years. I have had a couple of people cancel on me rather last minute only to never hear from them again, but at least they let me know. Timewaster? Maybe. But it could also be they just let their nerves get the better of them especially if they are rather new to the scene.
To others a timewaster is someone who just messages endlessly and maybe promises to arrange a meet but never does and keeps coming up with excuses. In that sense, the term timewaster probably fits also.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I haven't really come across any fakes. I mean none that I have interacted with anyway. Fake profiles aren't that difficult to spot really and using tineye to check pics only takes a second.
As for timewasters, I think different people use this term in different ways. To me a timewaster is, as others have said, someone who arranges a meet then doesn't turn up. This has only happened to me once in 5 years. I have had a couple of people cancel on me rather last minute only to never hear from them again, but at least they let me know. Timewaster? Maybe. But it could also be they just let their nerves get the better of them especially if they are rather new to the scene.
To others a timewaster is someone who just messages endlessly and maybe promises to arrange a meet but never does and keeps coming up with excuses. In that sense, the term timewaster probably fits also.
"
agree with u on that last paragraph |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's all luck....
Lots of men, fewer women, always going to be a frustrating balance of power in the ladies favour.
Each day our lady members log in to their accounts with numerous messages, prob 75% haven't met their criteria, out of the remainder there's maybe a couple there attracted to.
So unless your a Tom cruise lookalike its gonna be hard work, accept that, keep trying and it may happen 
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I've had people who I've decided are TWs, just want to exchange endless emails etc, I just give up on them. I was on SH originally, (still am actually, hardly bother on there these days though). I've been on here quite few years now and find it great as a single guy, met lots of single women, couples and TVs, (one of whom I now also have a couples profile with). I think if a single man, or anyone else for that matter has a problem meeting people they should look at their profile and approach. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I rarely message women or couples on here, I generally just pop on to participate in the forums. If I do message someone it's usually because of something they've said in a post that has made me look at their profile. In which case I will usually say something nice. Sometimes I get a reply, sometimes I don't.
I have found POF a good site to use. Their are lots of women on their who just want a casual relationship and they are more likely to reply to a message. I even have swinging as a hobby on my profile. It always helps find the devients  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I chatted to a guy for about 5 yrs before we met, he has become a regular now, normally it takes 12 months of chats and phone calls, before I feel comfortable to meet anyone.
The exception is if I see a face pic, and I feel instantly connected to someone, then I will speak on phone or by Skype to see if my first impression was right, if it is and everything seems ok, I would meet the next day.
I have been told I am worth the effort.
I am here for quality not quantity, most of my dates are married men, so I don't publisize my meets, or dates.
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"As a previous member of other sites, i know what to expect but am amazed how many fakes there are on here. It's no wonder everyone looks at single guys all the same... Timewasters !"
Not necessarily fakes. But there are those guys who have a few veris, are genuine but then treat potential meets like total dicks and cancel at the last minute because they found something else to do, are tired, can't be arsed, etc. They do have meets but behave as if they are going to get numerous ones a week and set up meets they then don't attend.
Then guys who ask for a meet to be told one has been set up (which then doesn't show) end up being turned down and they feel that the site is full of fakes and timewasters.
And, I'm sure if you read that carefully will make some kind of sense! |
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"As a previous member of other sites, i know what to expect but am amazed how many fakes there are on here. It's no wonder everyone looks at single guys all the same... Timewasters !
Not necessarily fakes. But there are those guys who have a few veris, are genuine but then treat potential meets like total dicks and cancel at the last minute because they found something else to do, are tired, can't be arsed, etc. They do have meets but behave as if they are going to get numerous ones a week and set up meets they then don't attend.
"
I have chatted with several women on Fab who have had guys not turning up, one of which failed to appear on three consecutive occasions, each one with a progressively more bizarre and less believable excuse..I was amazed she gave him so many chances! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How,many messages does it take for a genuine guy to get offer? My fingers are worn out through typing, will just have to offer tongue only service as fingers are sore ! "
Just one a very good one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You will get far more sex from regular dating sites such as POF or OKCupid than here. The odds are so stacked against single guys on here that its almost ridiculous. Maybe one day you'll meet someone, but don't expect it to happen easily.
Advice about writing better messages is largely futile. You can write a beautifully tailored message, but chances are it won't even be read. How could it be with women/couples getting 50 messages a day? You either stand out in some way (being a black guy with a 9" cock helps) or you get lost among the hoards of males.
I have had far more sex by using non-swinging sites, and that's simply because of the imbalance of numbers on here. Of course, FAB make a lot of money from single guys, so don't tell them I told you that. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"As a previous member of other sites, i know what to expect but am amazed how many fakes there are on here. It's no wonder everyone looks at single guys all the same... Timewasters !
Not necessarily fakes. But there are those guys who have a few veris, are genuine but then treat potential meets like total dicks and cancel at the last minute because they found something else to do, are tired, can't be arsed, etc. They do have meets but behave as if they are going to get numerous ones a week and set up meets they then don't attend.
I have chatted with several women on Fab who have had guys not turning up, one of which failed to appear on three consecutive occasions, each one with a progressively more bizarre and less believable excuse..I was amazed she gave him so many chances!"
Guys get one chance with me. I text them the day before and if I get the silent treatment I look for a new meet. If you really want to have sex with me keep in touch. Simple. Let me down? Reported and blocked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You will get far more sex from regular dating sites such as POF or OKCupid than here. The odds are so stacked against single guys on here that its almost ridiculous. Maybe one day you'll meet someone, but don't expect it to happen easily.
Advice about writing better messages is largely futile. You can write a beautifully tailored message, but chances are it won't even be read. How could it be with women/couples getting 50 messages a day? You either stand out in some way (being a black guy with a 9" cock helps) or you get lost among the hoards of males.
I have had far more sex by using non-swinging sites, and that's simply because of the imbalance of numbers on here. Of course, FAB make a lot of money from single guys, so don't tell them I told you that. "
Although you have to remember that this is a swinging site not just a sex site. If you just want sex then use a regular dating site, but if you're interested in swinging then use fab. Easy really |
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"As a previous member of other sites, i know what to expect but am amazed how many fakes there are on here. It's no wonder everyone looks at single guys all the same... Timewasters !
Not necessarily fakes. But there are those guys who have a few veris, are genuine but then treat potential meets like total dicks and cancel at the last minute because they found something else to do, are tired, can't be arsed, etc. They do have meets but behave as if they are going to get numerous ones a week and set up meets they then don't attend.
I have chatted with several women on Fab who have had guys not turning up, one of which failed to appear on three consecutive occasions, each one with a progressively more bizarre and less believable excuse..I was amazed she gave him so many chances!
Guys get one chance with me. I text them the day before and if I get the silent treatment I look for a new meet. If you really want to have sex with me keep in touch. Simple. Let me down? Reported and blocked. "
Sensible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fake single males, that's a new one on us."
Ive experienced that. A couple liked my profile but knew i wasn't looking for a MF couple so the guy had his own profile (they each did) and was chatting and texting me, we were starting to talk about meeting up and it was only by accident i found out he was part of a couple. They were hoping id change my mind by the meet if he was charming and seductive enough.
That is a new one on me though....a couple pretending to be a single guy |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
Consider writing messages as an educational tool the site provides you with, 
The messages you re sending aren t working, learn from that and change or you can continue and hope everyone else changes,,
Now go write out a 1000 lines saying 'I m not a timewaster I m genuine,, ' |
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