FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Arguing 'No thanks'
Arguing 'No thanks'
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I use to reply all my messages with a no thanks (well to people I wasn't interested in) but I've actually give up and just delete.
I've had numerous messages saying...
Why...Am I not good enough for you...I would destroy you anyway...You couldn't handle me...Slag
Has anybody else had these? |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"I use to reply all my messages with a no thanks (well to people I wasn't interested in) but I've actually give up and just delete.
I've had numerous messages saying...
Why...Am I not good enough for you...I would destroy you anyway...You couldn't handle me...Slag
Has anybody else had these? "
Yes and it is why I have a comment about it on my profile. If they ask why I refer them to it, if they are abusive I report and block. Most guys, though, in my experience, are pretty decent about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes i often get abuse when i say "no thanks" to people im not intersted in meeting, even if i explain why im not interested !
I block them if they send abuse
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi
Im a single guy and there is no need for such disregard for peoples feelings.
Manners cost nothing.
Dont get upset. Those folk arent worth bothering about....
It just spoils it for all the decent people on here.
Have fun.
Maxi
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"can you all advice me what to say without
been rude to people that message me or wink me cos as it states on my profile
i'm not meeting anyone.  "
we have started to go with we don't wish to be mean but the only fuck your going to get here is fuck off lol xxxxxxx |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"can you all advice me what to say without
been rude to people that message me or wink me cos as it states on my profile
i'm not meeting anyone. "
Say nothing just delete all messages unread. Most will get the message. Block persistent ones. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't worry abt it,just dented pride talking and very childish response,
I'm lucky i havent had any rudeness and nastiness. When i reply no thanks,get alot of 'why' tho
lol i will say ur not my type or something,if go on i read with no reply,so they get the message lol
Alot men generally message shame thanku for the reply and have fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont understand that! We are all here for sexual fratification of one description or another, if someone doesnt want to meet you fine. Why be rude about it?
Interestingly ive had a few couples and women quite shocked that i have said thanks bit no thanks, and then send borderline ride messages back which is quite childish reay! Xxx |
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"I use to reply all my messages with a no thanks (well to people I wasn't interested in) but I've actually give up and just delete.
I've had numerous messages saying...
Why...Am I not good enough for you...I would destroy you anyway...You couldn't handle me...Slag
Has anybody else had these? "
I feel you. I got a very snide response from a guy the other day but just brushed it off. Anyone who's not grown up enough to accept a polite 'sorry, not for me' type of response is not someone I want to put my dick in anyway. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"I dont understand that! We are all here for sexual fratification of one description or another, if someone doesnt want to meet you fine. Why be rude about it?
Interestingly ive had a few couples and women quite shocked that i have said thanks bit no thanks, and then send borderline ride messages back which is quite childish reay! Xxx"
Perhaps they think that, as the majority on here, then they will always get lucky. I've had a few no thanks. Just wish them well and good luck on the site. We can't be everyone's cup of tea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So the Op doesnt even reply now and just deletes now ! Without even a no thanks !
My god your everything thats wrong with this place .
But to be fair blokes . If your told mo thanks then no thanks it is ! Dint be abusive!
But any one who feels people arnt worth replying to ! Well i pity u ... |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"So the Op doesnt even reply now and just deletes now ! Without even a no thanks !
My god your everything thats wrong with this place .
But to be fair blokes . If your told mo thanks then no thanks it is ! Dint be abusive!
But any one who feels people arnt worth replying to ! Well i pity u ..."
A bit harsh - some of these guys are really unpleasant. And, as the site says, a lack of response simply means someone is not interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"can you all advice me what to say without
been rude to people that message me or wink me cos as it states on my profile
i'm not meeting anyone. "
I've got quite a simple approach to the idiots that don't read. Check my profile out to see what I mean  |
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It can get a little disheartening when you spend ten minutes reading a profile and writing out a witty original message  Only for it to be deleted 2 minutes later.
A thanks but no thanks would be nice. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"It can get a little disheartening when you spend ten minutes reading a profile and writing out a witty original message Only for it to be deleted 2 minutes later.
A thanks but no thanks would be nice. "
But the site does state that no one is under any obligation to respond to any message. |
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"It can get a little disheartening when you spend ten minutes reading a profile and writing out a witty original message Only for it to be deleted 2 minutes later.
A thanks but no thanks would be nice.
But the site does state that no one is under any obligation to respond to any message."
Understood but if we didn't send messages in the first place then the cycle would grind to a halt.
It's just nice to get a reply from time time, but then having said that I don't get thousands of messages like some women and couples do.
A reason would be brilliant so I know where I went wrong.   |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"It can get a little disheartening when you spend ten minutes reading a profile and writing out a witty original message Only for it to be deleted 2 minutes later.
A thanks but no thanks would be nice.
But the site does state that no one is under any obligation to respond to any message.
Understood but if we didn't send messages in the first place then the cycle would grind to a halt.
It's just nice to get a reply from time time, but then having said that I don't get thousands of messages like some women and couples do.
A reason would be brilliant so I know where I went wrong. "
I said 'respond' to messages - not send messages.
I used to be on another site which had the option of sending an automated response with one click. But even then I was repeatedly messaged by the same guys over and over. In an experiment I decided to see how many a guy would send after repeated automated 'no thanks' messages. One guy actually messaged me more than 20 times before I gave in and blocked him - and his was not an isolated case.
I say no thanks to guys and find that after a week or so they are messaging me again. You may say you are fed up with no response - but some of us are fed up with having a polite 'no thanks' ignored or having to deal with abuse.
Hence the reason why so many choose now to simply delete messages from those they have no interest in. Just accept they are not interested and move on. It won't change, and it is not necessarily rude. |
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"It can get a little disheartening when you spend ten minutes reading a profile and writing out a witty original message Only for it to be deleted 2 minutes later.
A thanks but no thanks would be nice.
But the site does state that no one is under any obligation to respond to any message.
Understood but if we didn't send messages in the first place then the cycle would grind to a halt.
It's just nice to get a reply from time time, but then having said that I don't get thousands of messages like some women and couples do.
A reason would be brilliant so I know where I went wrong.
I said 'respond' to messages - not send messages.
I used to be on another site which had the option of sending an automated response with one click. But even then I was repeatedly messaged by the same guys over and over. In an experiment I decided to see how many a guy would send after repeated automated 'no thanks' messages. One guy actually messaged me more than 20 times before I gave in and blocked him - and his was not an isolated case.
I say no thanks to guys and find that after a week or so they are messaging me again. You may say you are fed up with no response - but some of us are fed up with having a polite 'no thanks' ignored or having to deal with abuse.
Hence the reason why so many choose now to simply delete messages from those they have no interest in. Just accept they are not interested and move on. It won't change, and it is not necessarily rude."
Oh yeah I understand the reason, some people can't take no for an answer and I imagine you can be 'pestered' by guys, I just find the delete disheartening that's all. |
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I prefer to say 'no thanks', than ignore or block people, but if I had too many abusive messages, I'd review my approach.
We all, in life and on fab, should treat others with respect, and I'm dismayed when I see people not doing this.
I did once suggest a site enhancement to send a 'no thanks', or other personalised messaged and/or including block, but it wasn't a popular idea. It does seem useful to give guys feedback on where they stand. But, replying to any messages, when your inbox is overloaded, is a job and a half as it is. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"It can get a little disheartening when you spend ten minutes reading a profile and writing out a witty original message Only for it to be deleted 2 minutes later.
A thanks but no thanks would be nice.
But the site does state that no one is under any obligation to respond to any message.
Understood but if we didn't send messages in the first place then the cycle would grind to a halt.
It's just nice to get a reply from time time, but then having said that I don't get thousands of messages like some women and couples do.
A reason would be brilliant so I know where I went wrong.
I said 'respond' to messages - not send messages.
I used to be on another site which had the option of sending an automated response with one click. But even then I was repeatedly messaged by the same guys over and over. In an experiment I decided to see how many a guy would send after repeated automated 'no thanks' messages. One guy actually messaged me more than 20 times before I gave in and blocked him - and his was not an isolated case.
I say no thanks to guys and find that after a week or so they are messaging me again. You may say you are fed up with no response - but some of us are fed up with having a polite 'no thanks' ignored or having to deal with abuse.
Hence the reason why so many choose now to simply delete messages from those they have no interest in. Just accept they are not interested and move on. It won't change, and it is not necessarily rude.
Oh yeah I understand the reason, some people can't take no for an answer and I imagine you can be 'pestered' by guys, I just find the delete disheartening that's all. "
It is disheartening, I admit. But so is being pestered or abused. Unfortunately we all pay the price for the numpties. |
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"It can get a little disheartening when you spend ten minutes reading a profile and writing out a witty original message Only for it to be deleted 2 minutes later.
A thanks but no thanks would be nice.
But the site does state that no one is under any obligation to respond to any message.
Understood but if we didn't send messages in the first place then the cycle would grind to a halt.
It's just nice to get a reply from time time, but then having said that I don't get thousands of messages like some women and couples do.
A reason would be brilliant so I know where I went wrong.
I said 'respond' to messages - not send messages.
I used to be on another site which had the option of sending an automated response with one click. But even then I was repeatedly messaged by the same guys over and over. In an experiment I decided to see how many a guy would send after repeated automated 'no thanks' messages. One guy actually messaged me more than 20 times before I gave in and blocked him - and his was not an isolated case.
I say no thanks to guys and find that after a week or so they are messaging me again. You may say you are fed up with no response - but some of us are fed up with having a polite 'no thanks' ignored or having to deal with abuse.
Hence the reason why so many choose now to simply delete messages from those they have no interest in. Just accept they are not interested and move on. It won't change, and it is not necessarily rude.
Oh yeah I understand the reason, some people can't take no for an answer and I imagine you can be 'pestered' by guys, I just find the delete disheartening that's all.
It is disheartening, I admit. But so is being pestered or abused. Unfortunately we all pay the price for the numpties."
Agreed  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I use to reply all my messages with a no thanks (well to people I wasn't interested in) but I've actually give up and just delete.
I've had numerous messages saying...
Why...Am I not good enough for you...I would destroy you anyway...You couldn't handle me...Slag
Has anybody else had these? "
What ever you choose to do you will upset some unless you say no and even then some will be upset if you cannot accommodate and provide a 5* breakfast so reply to those you want to or those you feel deserve a reply and use the block button if people get pushy and not let people get to you.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the first person to just delete my message without replying upset me a little but then I decided not to ask why she just deleted it since it's her decision, she's pretty and probably gets stupid amounts of them... it would be great if there was a button to send a canned message back whilst deleting emails... |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"the first person to just delete my message without replying upset me a little but then I decided not to ask why she just deleted it since it's her decision, she's pretty and probably gets stupid amounts of them... it would be great if there was a button to send a canned message back whilst deleting emails..."
Like I said earlier - I've been on a site which does just this. They were constantly ignored and guys would repeatedly message you. I left the site in the end. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
But any one who feels people arnt worth replying to ! Well i pity u ...
 and anyone who feels my profile isn't worth reading, isn't worth replying to  "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I use to reply all my messages with a no thanks (well to people I wasn't interested in) but I've actually give up and just delete.
I've had numerous messages saying...
Why...Am I not good enough for you...I would destroy you anyway...You couldn't handle me...Slag
Has anybody else had these? "
Well just reply to my message next time!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No ive never had a single abusive message in 5 yrs for saying no thanks"
1 year in and no abuse! Feel left out from people that seem to be abused all the time! |
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"I use to reply all my messages with a no thanks (well to people I wasn't interested in) but I've actually give up and just delete.
I've had numerous messages saying...
Why...Am I not good enough for you...I would destroy you anyway...You couldn't handle me...Slag
Has anybody else had these? "
No!
When visible my profile states I'll not reply to anyone outwith my criteria: and I don't so no problem. Those that meet my criteria, send a decent message but I don't wish to play with always get a nice reply and my best wishes and I've never received a nasty response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Evidently saying those three little words 'No thank you' is enough to get abuse. That must be where I have gone wrong then."
Nope. We say no thanks and have never received abuse |
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"the first person to just delete my message without replying upset me a little but then I decided not to ask why she just deleted it since it's her decision, she's pretty and probably gets stupid amounts of them... it would be great if there was a button to send a canned message back whilst deleting emails..."
I'm on a site that has all the bells and whistles. If you set your filters it automatically sends a message on your behalf stating why: outside age etc preferences. If they wink they get another automatic message saying winks not acknowledge but messages are. If the message gets through but you don't want to meet a "thanks but no thanks" button is available.
Guess what the number one bitch is from the men?!! |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Evidently saying those three little words 'No thank you' is enough to get abuse. That must be where I have gone wrong then.
Nope. We say no thanks and have never received abuse "
I have had a few - but, as I said before, mostly they are gracious. There are men on here who are abusive when rejected - you have simply been lucky enough not to encounter them.
If I look at my sent folder before I delete I see a lot of messages with just those three words. That is all I send. But that, for some, is enough to piss them off. |
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"I don't think any woman can have time to reply to the barrage of message from guys here.
She can if she sets her filters correctly. Not all women get 100s of messages a day."
Personally I think some women relish the attention so don't set filters to enable their egos to be massaged.
I've never, will never receive thousands of messages but still apply filters as my easy going nature disappears when messaged by people I have absolutely no interest in.
If I needed my ego massaging a glance in my mirror suffices: a quick "hot damn girl you're fine!" and it's all good! |
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"I don't think any woman can have time to reply to the barrage of message from guys here.
She can if she sets her filters correctly. Not all women get 100s of messages a day.
Personally I think some women relish the attention so don't set filters to enable their egos to be massaged.
"
I'm inclined to believe this too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If I needed my ego massaging a glance in my mirror suffices: a quick "hot damn girl you're fine!" and it's all good! "
If I need my massaging I just look at Tor
But you're right I suspect those who spend hours in the chat rooms are a bit "cheeky" with their banter get more messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"can you all advice me what to say without
been rude to people that message me or wink me cos as it states on my profile
i'm not meeting anyone.
we have started to go with we don't wish to be mean but the only fuck your going to get here is fuck off lol xxxxxxx"
haha fucking love it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Been here years and have a lot of mail and don't mail all back just tell them in my profile I cant ...... and only ever had 0ne man nasty to me who lived up the road and felt he was so close I should meet , lol must be just lucky I don't get it . |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"
If I needed my ego massaging a glance in my mirror suffices: a quick "hot damn girl you're fine!" and it's all good!
If I need my massaging I just look at Tor
But you're right I suspect those who spend hours in the chat rooms are a bit "cheeky" with their banter get more messages. "
I don't use the chat rooms - not my thing. And have my filters set to only those I might be interested in. Get enough messages with those - not the hundreds some claim, but enough. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If I needed my ego massaging a glance in my mirror suffices: a quick "hot damn girl you're fine!" and it's all good!
If I need my massaging I just look at Tor
But you're right I suspect those who spend hours in the chat rooms are a bit "cheeky" with their banter get more messages.
I don't use the chat rooms - not my thing. And have my filters set to only those I might be interested in. Get enough messages with those - not the hundreds some claim, but enough."
Perhaps their messages are based on the fact they've been "chatting" or watching on cam?
Who knows
We get maybe 10-15 a week but then maybe we don't give off the "vibe" some people seem to have |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"
If I needed my ego massaging a glance in my mirror suffices: a quick "hot damn girl you're fine!" and it's all good!
If I need my massaging I just look at Tor
But you're right I suspect those who spend hours in the chat rooms are a bit "cheeky" with their banter get more messages.
I don't use the chat rooms - not my thing. And have my filters set to only those I might be interested in. Get enough messages with those - not the hundreds some claim, but enough.
Perhaps their messages are based on the fact they've been "chatting" or watching on cam?
Who knows
We get maybe 10-15 a week but then maybe we don't give off the "vibe" some people seem to have"
I think maybe single women tend to get more as they seem to be a minority. I can get between 30 and 50 a week. If I put up an ad that would be more - but some women claim to have hundreds or even thousands. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have had this and have only been on here a couple of weeks.. I have only deleted the ones who clearly didn't look at my profile...
To quote.. "I love your photos you look hot" (No public photo on profile) etc...
All other people sending me something have had a message back. I don't want to be ignored but have been..
Now I have asked for no contact and I'm still getting standard cut and past style messages... sometimes the same one from the same bloke several times over...
I don't give rude replies. Just nice to feel wanted.. even tho they have no idea what I look like!
Emx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Got called a shithouse because I didn't want to meet as he put it " around the corner from the shops" when I asked if he was seriously abusing me was told "if I really want fun I'd go anywhere" blocked and forgot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A polite "No Thanks" reply is just basic good manners what a pity most on here cant even type no thanks.
If you get an abusive reply then just block them.
BUT please everybody why cant you just send a reply instead of deleting or ignoring the initial message - its BAD MANNERS |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"A polite "No Thanks" reply is just basic good manners what a pity most on here cant even type no thanks.
If you get an abusive reply then just block them.
BUT please everybody why cant you just send a reply instead of deleting or ignoring the initial message - its BAD MANNERS"
No - it is NOT. It does state that on the site rules, etc. |
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"A polite "No Thanks" reply is just basic good manners what a pity most on here cant even type no thanks.
If you get an abusive reply then just block them.
BUT please everybody why cant you just send a reply instead of deleting or ignoring the initial message - its BAD MANNERS"
It works both ways. If someone has "no married men" and a married man decides it only applies to other married men, not him and sends a message, if he's upset his message is deleted, I'm cool with that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A polite "No Thanks" reply is just basic good manners what a pity most on here cant even type no thanks.
If you get an abusive reply then just block them.
BUT please everybody why cant you just send a reply instead of deleting or ignoring the initial message - its BAD MANNERS"
Actually no it's not. Site rules are quite explicit about that. |
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"So the Op doesnt even reply now and just deletes now ! Without even a no thanks !
My god your everything thats wrong with this place .
But to be fair blokes . If your told mo thanks then no thanks it is ! Dint be abusive!
But any one who feels people arnt worth replying to ! Well i pity u ..."
Well for a start you above the age range I wish to keep which is stated on my profile, and if you read it, it does say thanks you for the message but I don't have time for a reply.
I'm sure the guys I've met and the lovely people I have spoke to would a agree I'm not. 'Everything that is wrong with this place'
Oh and what is it you pitty as I am rather happy XXF |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok I have 60 unread messages from today only, let's see if everybody it polite and accepts a not thanks "
just 60 I get over 250 a day at times , lol really I have day like that here . Why I cant mail all back .. but say thanks in my profile .. I have no one in my block and get a lot of the same ones mailing , |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh god! Replying would be a full time Job! "
why I say on my profile so I don't feel so bad .. And I know if I blocked loads I would not get so much but not into blocking people for nothing here.
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Never had abuse but only been on a couple of weeks.
Problem is people don't keep track of who they've contacted, so they browse & message who they see available. Two weeks later same again & so on.
If a 'no thanks' was sent & then a block put on, it would prevent them anyway.
Poor 'book keeping' really imo |
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"A polite "No Thanks" reply is just basic good manners what a pity most on here cant even type no thanks.
If you get an abusive reply then just block them.
BUT please everybody why cant you just send a reply instead of deleting or ignoring the initial message - its BAD MANNERS"
You appear unable, or unwilling, to understand that so many couples and females are not replying due to previous bad experience and/or people's inability to read their profile before sending a message. It isn't "bad manners". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yeap and if I get a rude message back I'll delete. If its really abusive I think I'm just going to report in future. It makes it tough for the genuine guys on here... clear the idiots out |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Never had abuse but only been on a couple of weeks.
Problem is people don't keep track of who they've contacted, so they browse & message who they see available. Two weeks later same again & so on.
If a 'no thanks' was sent & then a block put on, it would prevent them anyway.
Poor 'book keeping' really imo"
Then you get whining threads about being blocked when all they did was send a polite message.
See where this is going? Can't do right for doing wrong.
I use the site as I see fit and how it suits me. And it has suited me to do this for the last 2 years. I see no reason to change this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately some guys do not appreciate the high volume of messages ladies & couples receive on a daily bases. Hence the deleted messages especially if the message is poor in content nevermind not fitting the criteria of the respondent.
These guys are often so wrapped in theit own small world they can't handle rejection...
We all experience knockbacks occasionally some more than others... Just accept it and move on people!! Press that block button.. It works a treat!! Well.. Until the abusive, stalker types set up another profile... |
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