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a question to other submissives
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have had this problem before and it's something I can control... And my issue is with the thought of my dominant dominating another sub or woman..
now I'm fine when he plays with others, love watching but if it's another submissive I think I would have a fit if she acted sub with him, or he actually dominated her.
Now before I was a slave and it was made clear to me that he would have other subs should he so wish... I just cleverly made sure they knew I didn't like it and most women took the hint.
But am I alone in this. I think this is only to female submissives to as noticed most mistresses have multiple subs.
I actually can not get control of it.. yet sexually it does not bother me...
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the bond with a dom and sub is very strong and relies alot on trust, you made him aware you wernt happy to be one of many subs, but he, chose to ignore your wishes, maybe its to belittle you. or maybe he doesnt know how strongly you feel about this. ask him in a non play situation. if its for the latter reason then that is your answer, if not then he should respect your wishes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This was my ex dominant.. my issue now is that any woman that states she is sub.. (only single ones)..causes me to instantly get difficult about them with regards to my current dominant..
as to my ex, as a total power exchange slave, it wasn't him ignoring my will, simply that I had given away that decision..
my new dominants great about it.. I just wondered if others had this problem and had ways to make it less difficult. Because mostly it just causes me to worry where I don't need too.. I trust in my dominant not to cross that line.. but I guess I see the other women as tempting my dominant.
It's hard to explain rationally as it's not rational. Lol |
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"This was my ex dominant.. my issue now is that any woman that states she is sub.. (only single ones)..causes me to instantly get difficult about them with regards to my current dominant..
as to my ex, as a total power exchange slave, it wasn't him ignoring my will, simply that I had given away that decision..
my new dominants great about it.. I just wondered if others had this problem and had ways to make it less difficult. Because mostly it just causes me to worry where I don't need too.. I trust in my dominant not to cross that line.. but I guess I see the other women as tempting my dominant.
It's hard to explain rationally as it's not rational. Lol "
well iam the m half of our couple and the dom, although we dont live it day to day only when we play, but would never look for another sub even if though she would be fine with it. a fb would be fine but not another sub, its an almost simbyotic relationship and wouldnt work if another was brought into it, hope this makes sence |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just chucked mine as he was looking for others. So yes I can empathise. "
could you share sexually with no issues though? See this is what is messing with my head is sexually, I find it hot as hell, to watch him play in a sexual sense... But if I were to be told how dominant he was with them beyond sexual play... Well... I have to confess I would be an evil bitch..
I actually feel cold and sick inside at the thought of someone else giving their submission to him.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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miy sir has had 3 subs at the same time and played on my mind a lot
he has assured me that none is better than the next when it comes to a favourite. it all about trust for me and pleasing my sir no questions asked  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I for a time had a sub dom friendship on here we talked of going further and meeting guys and girls for mmf and mff. She said if we played in threesomes. She couldnt do sub as she couldnt focus on two doms, or be one of two subs as she said she would get jealous of the other sub getting dommed as she watched. Its all about trust i agree and subs and doms need their rules not just for in play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just chucked mine as he was looking for others. So yes I can empathise.
could you share sexually with no issues though? See this is what is messing with my head is sexually, I find it hot as hell, to watch him play in a sexual sense... But if I were to be told how dominant he was with them beyond sexual play... Well... I have to confess I would be an evil bitch..
I actually feel cold and sick inside at the thought of someone else giving their submission to him.... "
No. I give my all to my dom partner (whoever he may be) and I expect to have the same in return. I don't share. |
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"miy sir has had 3 subs at the same time and played on my mind a lot
he has assured me that none is better than the next when it comes to a favourite. it all about trust for me and pleasing my sir no questions asked "
Agree.The man I love and would do anything for has at least two other subs
I do feel wildly jealous but on the other hand I think he is much much too incredible to not be available for other women.
And also it means I never get too complacent,competition can be good.
The main thing is he makes me feel great and unique and cared for...why should I need more?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My relationship with my Master is fairly new but I struggle with the thought of him even sleeping with another woman never mind keeping subs so would be interested to hear other subs views on this |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I am very submissive, and would happily watch my current dom with another woman and she could be sub while we played, but nothing more. The relationship with her would strictly be as a playmate, and begin and end with playtime.
He has actually said he would like it is she was sub towards both of us - as I do have a dominant side for playing with other women.
I would love to watch him play with another female, but not to have a D/S relationship with her other than play. |
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" sexually, I find it hot as hell, to watch him play in a sexual sense... But if I were to be told how dominant he was with them beyond sexual play... Well... I have to confess I would be an evil bitch..
I actually feel cold and sick inside at the thought of someone else giving their submission to him.... "
F**king is is just that, nothing more, mutually pleasurable physical activity. Dom/meing, not role play topping, is by definition based on an emotional connection being present. So seeing your Dom bonded with another who you yourself are not bonded emotionally to is bound to be disturbing.
For a non D/s couple perhaps the equivalent would be romantic cuddling, kissing or other signs of emotional endearment. This is often deliberately avoided by swinging couples for this reason or has been the source of well documented tensions on here.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"miy sir has had 3 subs at the same time and played on my mind a lot
he has assured me that none is better than the next when it comes to a favourite. it all about trust for me and pleasing my sir no questions asked "
see sexually I don't mind, if my dominant actually wanted a multi sub family I don't think I could manage it.
I pleased my last master no questions asked.. he threw me aside for a whore. (Not being cruel she really was and he paid for her a few times first)
But I don't think it makes me less of a submissive to be like this, I just am up front about it.. I guess it's a hard limit for me.
Ironically I can dominate along side no problems, but that is totally different dynamic.
Steel heels.. don't think it helps, but I am better now than I was in the laSt experience..so I just think that kink wise I am monogamous and expect the same, although not sexually or emotionally..
I could accept a partner loving someone else, as long as was the only sub. Lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
F**king is is just that, nothing more, mutually pleasurable physical activity. Dom/meing, not role play topping, is by definition based on an emotional connection being present. So seeing your Dom bonded with another who you yourself are not bonded emotionally to is bound to be disturbing.
For a non D/s couple perhaps the equivalent would be romantic cuddling, kissing or other signs of emotional endearment. This is often deliberately avoided by swinging couples for this reason or has been the source of well documented tensions on here.
"
Actually this makes sense to me totally...
can I just point out that my dominants going out of his way to reassure me on this... And hasn't dominated anyone else... And playing top is different and while he is naturally dominant sexually it is different.
This reply has made me feel a little more comfy with what I feel... Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am very submissive, and would happily watch my current dom with another woman and she could be sub while we played, but nothing more. The relationship with her would strictly be as a playmate, and begin and end with playtime.
He has actually said he would like it is she was sub towards both of us - as I ydo have a dominant side for playing with other women.
I would love to watch him play with another female, but not to have a D/S relationship with her other than play. "
I agree with you apart from the me domming her,,not my scene.
We have a couple we play with he is Dom & she is switch. We play more with her due to his work commitments.
The only thing that upsets me while we are playing is when she calls MY Master, Master. It really upsets me as he is not her Master. I have no issue with her calling him Sir but not Master that's a personal relationship between a Dom and his sub
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am very submissive, and would happily watch my current dom with another woman and she could be sub while we played, but nothing more. The relationship with her would strictly be as a playmate, and begin and end with playtime.
He has actually said he would like it is she was sub towards both of us - as I ydo have a dominant side for playing with other women.
I would love to watch him play with another female, but not to have a D/S relationship with her other than play.
I agree with you apart from the me domming her,,not my scene.
We have a couple we play with he is Dom & she is switch. We play more with her due to his work commitments.
The only thing that upsets me while we are playing is when she calls MY Master, Master. It really upsets me as he is not her Master. I have no issue with her calling him Sir but not Master that's a personal relationship between a Dom and his sub
"
I would have struggled with that... My dominant knows my I'm not happy and all confused and upset look. I think that's bad protocol though. Sir is normally more than sufficient, although I tend to use first names. |
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it's so difficult as each relationship is so individual and you have to be happy/fulfilled in the situation you are personally in.
I like watching my Master in a play situation, watching him dominate another girl.
However, for me i know what we have is special and I don't think i'd cope if i was just 'one of many'.
He jokingly calls me his Whore-In-Chief which i love as feeling treasured by him and it makes me want to serve him more.
Do what's right for you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just chucked mine as he was looking for others. So yes I can empathise.
could you share sexually with no issues though? See this is what is messing with my head is sexually, I find it hot as hell, to watch him play in a sexual sense... But if I were to be told how dominant he was with them beyond sexual play... Well... I have to confess I would be an evil bitch..
I actually feel cold and sick inside at the thought of someone else giving their submission to him....
No. I give my all to my dom partner (whoever he may be) and I expect to have the same in return. I don't share."
^^ same here Cali. I think it is something that has to be agreed at the start of your D/s and stuck to. If it isn't then that breaks the bond of trust and therefore the D/s. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just chucked mine as he was looking for others. So yes I can empathise.
could you share sexually with no issues though? See this is what is messing with my head is sexually, I find it hot as hell, to watch him play in a sexual sense... But if I were to be told how dominant he was with them beyond sexual play... Well... I have to confess I would be an evil bitch..
I actually feel cold and sick inside at the thought of someone else giving their submission to him....
No. I give my all to my dom partner (whoever he may be) and I expect to have the same in return. I don't share."
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"it's so difficult as each relationship is so individual and you have to be happy/fulfilled in the situation you are personally in.
I like watching my Master in a play situation, watching him dominate another girl.
However, for me i know what we have is special and I don't think i'd cope if i was just 'one of many'.
He jokingly calls me his Whore-In-Chief which i love as feeling treasured by him and it makes me want to serve him more.
Do what's right for you x "
see I'm a little as well as a submissive, so have that bit to deal with.. now when we play together I see the dominance but it's also nothing like what we do... I know playfully dominant is different. I think for me its the other women I struggled with.. rather than my dominant.
I always find listening to others inputs helps, it doesn't always match my thoughts... But my own views are sometimes clouded with my own experiences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
F**king is is just that, nothing more, mutually pleasurable physical activity. Dom/meing, not role play topping, is by definition based on an emotional connection being present. So seeing your Dom bonded with another who you yourself are not bonded emotionally to is bound to be disturbing.
For a non D/s couple perhaps the equivalent would be romantic cuddling, kissing or other signs of emotional endearment. This is often deliberately avoided by swinging couples for this reason or has been the source of well documented tensions on here.
Actually this makes sense to me totally...
can I just point out that my dominants going out of his way to reassure me on this... And hasn't dominated anyone else... And playing top is different and while he is naturally dominant sexually it is different.
This reply has made me feel a little more comfy with what I feel... Thanks"
I love that he's reassuring you. He's looking after you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it's so difficult as each relationship is so individual and you have to be happy/fulfilled in the situation you are personally in.
I like watching my Master in a play situation, watching him dominate another girl.
However, for me i know what we have is special and I don't think i'd cope if i was just 'one of many'.
He jokingly calls me his Whore-In-Chief which i love as feeling treasured by him and it makes me want to serve him more.
Do what's right for you x "
I love this too. 'Whore-in-chief' is brilliant. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I love that he's reassuring you. He's looking after you. "
oh he is being amazing but I want To be a better sub and I don't think having hissy fits is a good thing. Xxx |
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We have a collared female, she has been our submissive for over three years and she is the opposite. She loves to watch us with other subs, she is comfortable and secure in her position. In fact she has found us female subs to enjoy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We have a collared female, she has been our submissive for over three years and she is the opposite. She loves to watch us with other subs, she is comfortable and secure in her position. In fact she has found us female subs to enjoy."
but your a couple so I would imagine it's a different scenario, and if your are going to submit to a couple.. I think it takes a different mindset to submitting To an individual, as your not going to be the number one in your dominants life.. for me I couldn't do it.
But fair play to those that can
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"it's so difficult as each relationship is so individual and you have to be happy/fulfilled in the situation you are personally in.
I like watching my Master in a play situation, watching him dominate another girl.
However, for me i know what we have is special and I don't think i'd cope if i was just 'one of many'.
He jokingly calls me his Whore-In-Chief which i love as feeling treasured by him and it makes me want to serve him more.
Do what's right for you x "
Jokingly? You are my WIC!!! Love ya x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I agree with you apart from the me domming her,,not my scene.
We have a couple we play with he is Dom & she is switch. We play more with her due to his work commitments.
The only thing that upsets me while we are playing is when she calls MY Master, Master. It really upsets me as he is not her Master. I have no issue with her calling him Sir but not Master that's a personal relationship between a Dom and his sub
I would have struggled with that... My dominant knows my I'm not happy and all confused and upset look. I think that's bad protocol though. Sir is normally more than sufficient, although I tend to use first names."
Calli, thank you I'm glad you understood what I meant.
He tells me not to worry as it is just a respect thing, and, as I call him Dominus more than Master it doesn't have the impact that I feel it has.
The first time she called him Master I could feel my hackles rise up & it reduced my enjoyment of the evening. I'm surprised she never froze with the glacial looks I was giving her
I'm beginning to be more relaxed about it as I know it comes from my insecurities & that my Dominus has my best interests in mind at all times. I'm a very honoured girl  xx  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Calli, thank you I'm glad you understood what I meant.
He tells me not to worry as it is just a respect thing, and, as I call him Dominus more than Master it doesn't have the impact that I feel it has.
The first time she called him Master I could feel my hackles rise up & it reduced my enjoyment of the evening. I'm surprised she never froze with the glacial looks I was giving her
I'm beginning to be more relaxed about it as I know it comes from my insecurities & that my Dominus has my best interests in mind at all times. I'm a very honoured girl xx "
sorry I did smile lots at your description of hackles up and glacial looks... It is exactly what I do... Can't help myself.. I wouldn't ever call anyone else's dominant anything other than his name unless instructed by my dominant to do so..
I don't know why it bothers me as it's not even happened with my dominant that I am lucky to be sub too now. Xxx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am fully collared to my Master. We have an agreement that I will not play sub to anyone else at all. I don't call anyone else Sir or Master...as he says 'I can only wear one collar'.
Trust between us is the most important thing in our relationship.
He doesn't have any other subs, but has told me that If he wanted one that would be his decision and not mine. I do know he is saying this to prove a point that he is the Dom and I am the sub. I do trust him to not have any other subs, just like he trusts me to not be submissive with anyone else.
Yes I get punished as all subs do, but one thing I know that will never happen, even when we are no longer Master and Servant is breaking the trust. You share things with your Dom and they share things with you, both in confidence. We trust each other to never reveal anything that is communicated between us. Xxx |
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