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Verifications
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Does anyone feel like this? If, after reading verifications written by someone you have met about someone else, if the veri is a really nice one, have you felt that you cant match up to the other person written about and what the writer so obviously enjoys and expects?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am me and would NEVER wish to match up to no one .   "
That's good but unfortunately for me, im me and have issues with myself and things id like to maybe do and be free and brave enough to do. Thanks for replying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I kind of know what you mean. A woman recently got in touch with me on my guy profile and we've chatted about meeting soon. But reading her veris and looking at the guys that left them I can't help wonder why she's contacted me and if I'd be a disappointment. |
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"Does anyone feel like this? If, after reading verifications written by someone you have met about someone else, if the veri is a really nice one, have you felt that you cant match up to the other person written about and what the writer so obviously enjoys and expects? "
i know what your saying and when i first started swinging it kinda bothered me too but 10 years down the line and now i don't give a shit lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I kind of know what you mean. A woman recently got in touch with me on my guy profile and we've chatted about meeting soon. But reading her veris and looking at the guys that left them I can't help wonder why she's contacted me and if I'd be a disappointment. "
I wish I had your figure and legs. Anyway, im sure you wont be, I wrote my post because ive read a veri and definitely cant (mentally I feel) more than the public issue, provide what this person has. Guys don't seem to want anything out of the ordinary from me anyway and its my profile that prevents them asking im sure. Go for it and do what you want or are comfortable with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone feel like this? If, after reading verifications written by someone you have met about someone else, if the veri is a really nice one, have you felt that you cant match up to the other person written about and what the writer so obviously enjoys and expects? "
If you read your veri from them and it says "we met and had a good time" and another person got "Amazing, fantastic awesum intelligent sexy person with great SOH! I cannot wait to meet again" Then you can reasonably assume you did not make as good an impression.
But some people just do not write much whilst others do so you can only compare veris from same person.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Does anyone feel like this? If, after reading verifications written by someone you have met about someone else, if the veri is a really nice one, have you felt that you cant match up to the other person written about and what the writer so obviously enjoys and expects?
i know what your saying and when i first started swinging it kinda bothered me too but 10 years down the line and now i don't give a shit lol "
I wish I didn't. Not been here that long really I guess but thought Id toughened up obviously not enough. |
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By *otswoldMan
over a year ago
Cheltenham |
"Does anyone feel like this? If, after reading verifications written by someone you have met about someone else, if the veri is a really nice one, have you felt that you cant match up to the other person written about and what the writer so obviously enjoys and expects? "
Provided it was positive, I would regard any verification as better than none. Surely that works both ways. In other words no one is going to think the worse of you for writing something nice.
If it is positive and truthful just say it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Aww thanks, lovely thing to say XXX
Her usual guys are all proper fit gym bunnies, profile pics all muscle and tight t-shirts, you know the type.
Whereas I'm fit, but because I have to squeeze into frocks, its not so visible. Plus they all claim to be WE. (Claim anyway) and I'm average.
So perhaps she wants me for my mind, but given our conversations thus far I doubt that. I'm torn as I'd rather have no sex than disappointing sex.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Aww thanks, lovely thing to say XXX
Her usual guys are all proper fit gym bunnies, profile pics all muscle and tight t-shirts, you know the type.
Whereas I'm fit, but because I have to squeeze into frocks, its not so visible. Plus they all claim to be WE. (Claim anyway) and I'm average.
So perhaps she wants me for my mind, but given our conversations thus far I doubt that. I'm torn as I'd rather have no sex than disappointing sex.
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I squeeze into my clothes and some of my stuff doesn't fit at all. Would she meet for a social and take it from there? She contacted you I assume, so must have been a attraction. Ive met guys who have net fitter women than me and wondered why they wanted to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah it's definitely going to be a social first, purely to settle my curiosity.
While a good thing, sometimes verifications can raise more questions or doubts than they solve. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone feel like this? If, after reading verifications written by someone you have met about someone else, if the veri is a really nice one, have you felt that you cant match up to the other person written about and what the writer so obviously enjoys and expects? "
Veris are always going to be better than the actual meet itself.
Mine though are pretty close to the mark  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when i have met someone and he doesnt leave me a verification or he leaves me one that sounds similar to the ones others have left me, then afterwards he has met someone better looking than me,
he writes on their verification how lucky he was to meet someone so young and slim. Its pretty obvious he only meets me when he cant meet anyone better.
Only its the same with me too, if i meet someone i like who i think is good looking then i say i thought he was good looking when i leave a verification
though that doesnt happen very often.
as i dont find that many men attractive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone feel like this? If, after reading verifications written by someone you have met about someone else, if the veri is a really nice one, have you felt that you cant match up to the other person written about and what the writer so obviously enjoys and expects? "
I mentioned on another thread that whilst I believe that verifications are important on profiles, especially for single males, I sometimes think that their number/quality can be a bit intimidating for some people. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Does anyone feel like this? If, after reading verifications written by someone you have met about someone else, if the veri is a really nice one, have you felt that you cant match up to the other person written about and what the writer so obviously enjoys and expects?
I mentioned on another thread that whilst I believe that verifications are important on profiles, especially for single males, I sometimes think that their number/quality can be a bit intimidating for some people."
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah it's definitely going to be a social first, purely to settle my curiosity.
While a good thing, sometimes verifications can raise more questions or doubts than they solve. "
Good. Well, good luck you will be fine |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"when i have met someone and he doesnt leave me a verification or he leaves me one that sounds similar to the ones others have left me, then afterwards he has met someone better looking than me,
he writes on their verification how lucky he was to meet someone so young and slim. Its pretty obvious he only meets me when he cant meet anyone better.
Only its the same with me too, if i meet someone i like who i think is good looking then i say i thought he was good looking when i leave a verification
though that doesnt happen very often.
as i dont find that many men attractive."
I don't leave comments on their looks, more on the meet and that they were a nice guy |
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By *ixmaMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
I occasionally doubt myself when I'm on contact with a woman/couple who have a very athletic figure and wonder why there interested in teletubbie me but I have regularly played with a woman with a fab figure and it boosts your confidence especially when it's a repeated meet. We are what we are. Now where did I put my gym shorts, lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People look too much into verifications.
They are really only to say the other person is real, and live up to their profile here.
Make your own choices about who you meet (as they will with you), be yourself, relax and enjoy the meet for the enjoyable experience it's meant to be.
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By *ypfunWoman
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"I kind of know what you mean. A woman recently got in touch with me on my guy profile and we've chatted about meeting soon. But reading her veris and looking at the guys that left them I can't help wonder why she's contacted me and if I'd be a disappointment. "
Knowing you quite well I can say she definitely won't be disappointed on any level! Have a good time! xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope i just think its a reflection on the people i meet being nice.
Doesn't bother me if they have a good time with others as its the nature of this place...only once have i felt a pang of jealousy and have had to take myself to the corner and have a word. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive had a few guys say they are scared to meet me because of my veri's and they wont match up ( .....its a shame really as every guy is different - if I wanted the same old - I'd stick with one guy ! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No
Like its been said I am me and I don't feel the need to ' match up ' to anyone
If they have written a glowing verification for someone else after meeting me then good for them. I don't need a five star review of my abilities or who I am.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am meeting a lady next week who refuses to look at my veris . She says she does not want to know what the other ladies like and do . I think thats sweet xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nope i just think its a reflection on the people i meet being nice.
Doesn't bother me if they have a good time with others as its the nature of this place...only once have i felt a pang of jealousy and have had to take myself to the corner and have a word."
Doesn't bother me if they have a good time either. Mine was a social but I sometimes feel might be expected to live up to prev meets they have had, expectations. Im not experienced enough |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone feel like this? If, after reading verifications written by someone you have met about someone else, if the veri is a really nice one, have you felt that you cant match up to the other person written about and what the writer so obviously enjoys and expects? "
And by the same token, ive read verifications bout guys saying what an amazing lover they are etc etc....but i found them s....te lol....so its horses for course and please dont let it bother u. We are all unique and that should be celebrated. Ps people can fib on a verification too remember lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nope i just think its a reflection on the people i meet being nice.
Doesn't bother me if they have a good time with others as its the nature of this place...only once have i felt a pang of jealousy and have had to take myself to the corner and have a word.Doesn't bother me if they have a good time either. Mine was a social but I sometimes feel might be expected to live up to prev meets they have had, expectations. Im not experienced enough"
Dont worry about it ive met when the veris before have been off absolute stunners but think well obviously they see something they like to want to meet....and im just myself.
Dont think like that it will spoil things x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP - tried to message you privately about this, but you've blocked couples so have to say it here.
There are two issues with your original statement. One is what people read into veris and the system itself, and second is YOU.
The veri system first: Before I go further, we have ours on display because Ruby wants it that way. I would only have the summary now.
The biggest problem I have with the veri system as it stands now, is the subjectivity of the comments left by people for a particular person. There is not, and cannot be, a 'guide book' for how to write these and ALL of them are from a single viewpoint which may be 180 degrees away from yours. To me, they are next to useless. BUT... some people (the OP seeming to be one of them) read everything into them, start comparing themselves to the other person and getting doubts if they will 'measure up'. This does not help anyone.
The only thing I am interested in with veris is that there is a confirmation that there is a real person behind the profile who does actually turn up when arranged. Whether they actually played, what they thought of them, how suckable their cock was, etc etc etc matters not one jot to me. I will make my OWN mind up, based on (maybe) a social first, and then playing later.
Second - OP, you clearly have issues (which you recognise in yourself from what you have already said) which I really don't feel will be helped solely by being on a site like this. I don't know if they are inferiority issues or something like that - I'm not a psychologist - but I really do feel they would be best addressed by seeking professional help, and the start point for that is your GP.
A lot of people come into Swinging thinking it will help with personal 'issues'. The truth is all it generally does is highlight those issues even more and, with some people, this can start to cause more problems than they had before.
OP, I wish you luck but please think about where you are going with this. You come over as a very nice lady and I wouldn't want this to end in tears for you...
ted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Although I have no veri's now (just not had enough time for meets let alone veri's) I did have a some when I was on the site previously and through those experiences I learned that some will let them affect their expectations and efforts. Some won't.
Personally I'd go by their reactions during the meet or any more intimate liaisons and if the veri contradicts those to the point where they're obviously lying then they're not worth another meet. Alternatively if you really enjoyed any experiences then you could just ignore any sparse or negative veri's and enjoy more meets with them. I found I had to toughen up of it's any consolation. X
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone feel like this? If, after reading verifications written by someone you have met about someone else, if the veri is a really nice one, have you felt that you cant match up to the other person written about and what the writer so obviously enjoys and expects? "
I think that's a pretty normal part of self growth, try to also see the good things the guy must have seen in YOU to start with, and he's almost certain to contact you for a repeat performance when you least expect it!
I would possibly suggest, focus more on what fun you could be having, rather than agonising over self doubt issues that we all have! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I kind of know what you mean. A woman recently got in touch with me on my guy profile and we've chatted about meeting soon. But reading her veris and looking at the guys that left them I can't help wonder why she's contacted me and if I'd be a disappointment.
Knowing you quite well I can say she definitely won't be disappointed on any level! Have a good time! xx"
Why thank you! People will think I paid you to say that now!
I just think she clearly has a type she goes for judging by the guys who've verified her. And I am not of that type. She got in touch with me first so there must be a spark of interest. But I guess only a meeting will determine if it is possible to infer things from verifications other than wether a person is likely to turn up or not. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you for all your replies. I don't need a shrink I'm a normal woman with what I consider normal issues but I think my post has bitten me on the bum so I'm not saying anymore but if anyone is about who are able to close my thread I'd appreciate it if not well then ok |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Does anyone feel like this? If, after reading verifications written by someone you have met about someone else, if the veri is a really nice one, have you felt that you cant match up to the other person written about and what the writer so obviously enjoys and expects? "
No but I have felt that the verifications were a little OTT. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you for all your replies. I don't need a shrink I'm a normal woman with what I consider normal issues but I think my post has bitten me on the bum so I'm not saying anymore but if anyone is about who are able to close my thread I'd appreciate it if not well then ok"
i wouldnt worry, i think you maybe lack confidence a little but other people may think like you a bit sometimes, they just wouldnt admit to it though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thank you for all your replies. I don't need a shrink I'm a normal woman with what I consider normal issues but I think my post has bitten me on the bum so I'm not saying anymore but if anyone is about who are able to close my thread I'd appreciate it if not well then ok
i wouldnt worry, i think you maybe lack confidence a little but other people may think like you a bit sometimes, they just wouldnt admit to it though."
Thank you for replying. I do have confidence, not as much as some, it seems to disappear once I get in a meet situation a little, nerves kick in on a first meet. But I do join in, sex etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone feel like this? If, after reading verifications written by someone you have met about someone else, if the veri is a really nice one, have you felt that you cant match up to the other person written about and what the writer so obviously enjoys and expects? "
Yep same here. But I think it depends on the mood of the person when they leave the veri.
If they are still breathless and panting after your meet, the veri will be amazing.
If they leave a veri a few days later, maybe after they had a bad day at work, they won't be quite in the same frame of mind and will write something different. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone feel like this? If, after reading verifications written by someone you have met about someone else, if the veri is a really nice one, have you felt that you cant match up to the other person written about and what the writer so obviously enjoys and expects?
Yep same here. But I think it depends on the mood of the person when they leave the veri.
If they are still breathless and panting after your meet, the veri will be amazing.
If they leave a veri a few days later, maybe after they had a bad day at work, they won't be quite in the same frame of mind and will write something different. x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone feel like this? If, after reading verifications written by someone you have met about someone else, if the veri is a really nice one, have you felt that you cant match up to the other person written about and what the writer so obviously enjoys and expects?
Yep same here. But I think it depends on the mood of the person when they leave the veri.
If they are still breathless and panting after your meet, the veri will be amazing.
If they leave a veri a few days later, maybe after they had a bad day at work, they won't be quite in the same frame of mind and will write something different. x"
Pretty much what I was going to post. A veri left in a post-orgasmic glow will always be much better than one left after a shitty day in work and fighting through rush hour traffic to get home.
Also, for me, when I first started on here my veri's were more detailed because that's what I thought was expected...now I've been on here a while I can't be arsed thinking how to big someone up or coming up with a witty veri. If someone wants a veri to massage their ego then they're best meeting someone else these days!
Plus I think some ask for a glowing review and those writing them feel compelled to leave them in order to get one in return x |
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"No not at all. Usually it's the other way. I can't match the person to the verification as I met 'a completely different' person  "
True, that's cos some people write absolute drivel. You meet the person and you think what? They said she was gorgeous? What have they been sniffing? glue?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't ever think that about verifications. This is because I don't delve deeply into veris. I dont do the cross referencing type of thing Also, after I've met guys, whilst it's great to remain friends, I don't read their veris again because I've met them and I know personally that their nice guys.
I really wouldn't care if they've written me two lines and another woman or couple a whole chapter. The length of my own veris to others have no reflection on the quality of the meet. It's how I feel at the time of writing, whether I can be bothered or not to write a detailed report.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Plus I think some ask for a glowing review and those writing them feel compelled to leave them in order to get one in return x"
This is SO true... I've uncovered many such 'false' verifications written for fear of being slagged off and not getting a decent verif themselves.
Now I believe nothing I read, only use the verifs to see who's met who and decide for myself about a real meet only after coffee. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is not, and cannot be, a 'guide book' for how to write these and ALL of them are from a single viewpoint which may be 180 degrees away from yours. To me, they are next to useless. BUT...
The only thing I am interested in with veris is that there is a confirmation that there is a real person behind the profile who does actually turn up when arranged. Whether they actually played, what they thought of them, how suckable their cock was, etc etc etc matters not one jot to me. I will make my OWN mind up, based on (maybe) a social first, and then playing later.
A lot of people come into Swinging thinking it will help with personal 'issues'. The truth is all it generally does is highlight those issues even more and, with some people, this can start to cause more problems than they had before.."
Ive just left the bits on from a previous post that sums it up for us, well said Ted |
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