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Confused.com - A lesbian that likes Willy????
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Bit confused about this, not hugely but all the same would like to hear your views.
Recently I have been playing with a lovely lady that after sex states that she is a lesbian.
Immediately when we are together she can't wait to grab at it.
Maybe she likes sex with me but doesn't think I'm partner material. 
A lesbian that keeps coming back for more!!!!
How strange  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if she's shagging men she's not a lesbian
Having a relationship with other women but use using men for sex does not make you a lesbian, that's like saying married women who meet other women for sex are straight  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sounds bi playful, with a heavy preference for women, if she self identifies as lesbian.
Not sure why it is an issue. Might as well enjoy it right?"
Oh don't get me wrong I am enjoying it, just a bit puzzled. |
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"Sounds bi playful, with a heavy preference for women, if she self identifies as lesbian.
Not sure why it is an issue. Might as well enjoy it right?
Oh don't get me wrong I am enjoying it, just a bit puzzled."
She's probably just confused at present, or trying to accurately gauge where she is in terms of her sexual orientation.
Like i stated, it depends on what she self identifies as. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"if she's shagging men she's not a lesbian
Having a relationship with other women but use using men for sex does not make you a lesbian, that's like saying married women who meet other women for sex are straight "
Damn, there was me thinking I had the skills to turn a Lesbian straight. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're confusing romantic orientation with sexual interests...
I count myself as a lesbian (though for simplicity I say Bi on here) - I would only want another woman for a soulmate, partner and lover, a man could never fill those roles for me - or for my female partner!
But I have a body that likes penetrative sex - and I enjoy it.
I don't dislike men, or cocks, but I don't want to share my life with them! I just want a take-away from time to time....
It's not unusual by any means, and many self-defined lesbians enjoy the occasional good fuck!
It isn't a competition - it's simply people enjoying what they want. Just about everyone is on here because they want something that's not part of their ordinary lives - we're no different!
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You're confusing romantic orientation with sexual interests...
I count myself as a lesbian (though for simplicity I say Bi on here) - I would only want another woman for a soulmate, partner and lover, a man could never fill those roles for me - or for my female partner!
But I have a body that likes penetrative sex - and I enjoy it.
I don't dislike men, or cocks, but I don't want to share my life with them! I just want a take-away from time to time....
It's not unusual by any means, and many self-defined lesbians enjoy the occasional good fuck!
It isn't a competition - it's simply people enjoying what they want. Just about everyone is on here because they want something that's not part of their ordinary lives - we're no different!
"
Thanks for that, it helped clear up and confirm a few things.
Happy days!!!! |
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"You're confusing romantic orientation with sexual interests...
I count myself as a lesbian (though for simplicity I say Bi on here) - I would only want another woman for a soulmate, partner and lover, a man could never fill those roles for me - or for my female partner!
But I have a body that likes penetrative sex - and I enjoy it.
I don't dislike men, or cocks, but I don't want to share my life with them! I just want a take-away from time to time....
It's not unusual by any means, and many self-defined lesbians enjoy the occasional good fuck!
It isn't a competition - it's simply people enjoying what they want. Just about everyone is on here because they want something that's not part of their ordinary lives - we're no different!
"
Very good point, such an easy mistake to make too. Thanks for the course correction  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh, believe me - there have been books written on this subject!
Some years ago, a couple of very wise and politically active lesbians came up with a definition of a lesbian that has been widely accepted:
"A Lesbian is a women whose social, emotional and physical wants and needs are best met by another woman - regardless of whether those wants and needs are acted upon."
I love my woman, heart and soul, and want to marry her - but that doesn't stop us both having close male friends and enjoying sex with them from time to time... Our bodies are built for it, so why not enjoy it?
Some women do - some women don't... we're all individuals with our own rules and limits...
Talk to us - you'll find that we're actually quite interesting, besides being a good lay...!
Sexual orientation isn't the singular path that most people think it is - but most people are never in a position where they have to question it. Most people fall in love with the gender that they have good sex with - but not every time....
Sorry, not trying to preach - just to explain a little!
Feel free to ask me, or discuss, or challenge if it helps...
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"if she's shagging men she's not a lesbian
Having a relationship with other women but use using men for sex does not make you a lesbian, that's like saying married women who meet other women for sex are straight "
Double standards again as there's a lot of straight men that like a bit of man on man balls deep rogering who maintain they are straight and many forumites agreeing with them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hmm this sounds like a twist on the straight guys sucking cock thread....
Yep!  "
This is a honest thread but yes the "straight guy sucking cock thread" did inspire me to post.
Thanks for the info, its been enlightening.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My daughter describes herself as a lesbian, but also likes a bit of cock now and then.
She once said to me, how a woman whos married likes to play with other women but is in love with a man, well shes the opposite, she could only fall in love with a woman, but don't mind a bit of play with men.
I think its a perfect way to describe her feelings myself and if im honest, who gives a shit what she describes herself, Bi, lesbian, straight are just labels, so everything fits into nice neat piles................well lifes not like that, its complicated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're confusing romantic orientation with sexual interests...
I count myself as a lesbian (though for simplicity I say Bi on here) - I would only want another woman for a soulmate, partner and lover, a man could never fill those roles for me - or for my female partner!
But I have a body that likes penetrative sex - and I enjoy it.
I don't dislike men, or cocks, but I don't want to share my life with them! I just want a take-away from time to time....
It's not unusual by any means, and many self-defined lesbians enjoy the occasional good fuck!
It isn't a competition - it's simply people enjoying what they want. Just about everyone is on here because they want something that's not part of their ordinary lives - we're no different!
"
oo I like this explanation in fact helps me a bit, I would only ever have a lady as a gf and only every feel emotionally when with a woman as part of a relationship. But I do like to play with a guy to but purely for the physical aspect of the sexual fun that can be had with a guy that a woman can't provide. Also for me I get the feeling of it been taboo and so adds to the pleasure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"SHE IS BI ........ maybe just don't know the right tag , lol"
I've not had a great deal of experience in the gay scene but I do know they are not all that excepting of bisexual people, so if up until recently she isn't interested in males she doesn't want to be classed as bisexual as her social circle of gay friends would not be very accepting of her new status. Similar in respects as some 'straight' males don't want to be classed as bi because they don't take it up the bum or give BJ's |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You're confusing romantic orientation with sexual interests...
I count myself as a lesbian (though for simplicity I say Bi on here) - I would only want another woman for a soulmate, partner and lover, a man could never fill those roles for me - or for my female partner!
But I have a body that likes penetrative sex - and I enjoy it.
I don't dislike men, or cocks, but I don't want to share my life with them! I just want a take-away from time to time....
It's not unusual by any means, and many self-defined lesbians enjoy the occasional good fuck!
It isn't a competition - it's simply people enjoying what they want. Just about everyone is on here because they want something that's not part of their ordinary lives - we're no different!
oo I like this explanation in fact helps me a bit, I would only ever have a lady as a gf and only every feel emotionally when with a woman as part of a relationship. But I do like to play with a guy to but purely for the physical aspect of the sexual fun that can be had with a guy that a woman can't provide. Also for me I get the feeling of it been taboo and so adds to the pleasure "
I agree with both parts of this whit should we be labelled into slot that says we are this or that its a free world I think so we should be what ever we want to be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I've not had a great deal of experience in the gay scene but I do know they are not all that excepting of bisexual people, so if up until recently she isn't interested in males she doesn't want to be classed as bisexual as her social circle of gay friends would not be very accepting of her new status. Similar in respects as some 'straight' males don't want to be classed as bi because they don't take it up the bum or give BJ's"
Absolutely right - there is still massive and very unpleasant bi-phobia in the gay scene - it can even become quite violent within the lesbian sector, as I've experienced. You have to be very sure just what you're taking on before you claim that label.
But also, there are huge numbers of "men who have sex with men" who are not classed as gay in any way. Just ask any gay guy who goes cruising - there are always many married men hanging around for sex with gay men - not because they're gay but because they just want sex, and a quick fumble with a gay man is going to be a lot less hassle than picking up a women. I've been around the gay scene long enough and have seen it for myself.
People are all sorts and you can't put them in convenient boxes - it's just up to each individual to find and use their own self-description. If you don't understand someone's definition, just ask us politely to explain it to you - we usually don't mind!
Just please don't try to force your definition upon us... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The Lady you met with is either lying to you and is clearly Bisexual, or you're making the story up!!!! I'm a GAY Female in the truest sense of the word, and I've never been with a man xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I've not had a great deal of experience in the gay scene but I do know they are not all that excepting of bisexual people, so if up until recently she isn't interested in males she doesn't want to be classed as bisexual as her social circle of gay friends would not be very accepting of her new status. Similar in respects as some 'straight' males don't want to be classed as bi because they don't take it up the bum or give BJ's
Absolutely right - there is still massive and very unpleasant bi-phobia in the gay scene - it can even become quite violent within the lesbian sector, as I've experienced. You have to be very sure just what you're taking on before you claim that label.
But also, there are huge numbers of "men who have sex with men" who are not classed as gay in any way. Just ask any gay guy who goes cruising - there are always many married men hanging around for sex with gay men - not because they're gay but because they just want sex, and a quick fumble with a gay man is going to be a lot less hassle than picking up a women. I've been around the gay scene long enough and have seen it for myself.
People are all sorts and you can't put them in convenient boxes - it's just up to each individual to find and use their own self-description. If you don't understand someone's definition, just ask us politely to explain it to you - we usually don't mind!
Just please don't try to force your definition upon us... "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I once spent a rather fine evening with a lovely lady who is in a civil partnership or whatever they're called thus week. She had been previously married to a bloke but over time decided she was attracted to women and pretty much stuck to fems- except occasionally she got the urge for a nice bit of cock.
Don't think she'd describe herself as bi as she's married to a woman, meets other women but just likes to indulge occasionally, like an ex smoker having an annual cigar |
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