FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > other websites

other websites

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Does anyone else use any other websites for swinging and always end up coming back to fabs too?

We signed up for a site as it showed a lot more local people to us. I won't name names. But we found the experience awful. They bombarded us with emails telling us we get lifetime membership for 40 quid.

Then our account gets turned into a males account for no reason.

Tried contacting their admin saying close the account as we will open a new one as a couple with verification but no reply. So we set up a new account as a couple anyway, with a new email and uploaded our pictures again. And they then closed the account saying it was a duplicate to avoid paying subscription, but if we paid the 40 quid sub's we can get our account active again.

To be honest, if their customer service is like that before you sign up. I dread to think what its like after.

Thats why I like fabs. Its easy to use and they don't ban you without reason or warning just so they can make money.

Anyone else had bad experiences?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Most of the paid swinging sites on the net are dodgy, typically drawing you in with 'Create your account for FREE!' -neglecting to mention that if you want to use any of the sites features, such as messaging, you have to get a paid membership, and if you don't, you'll be constantly bombarded by sexually liberated supermodel swingbots telling you how sexy you look and intelligent you sound - when you haven't posted any pics or even written a profile.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are plenty of 'better' sites than this one, but people come back here because it's basically free up to a point which is why it's SO overloaded with men.

Fab needs to have more controls put on it with regard to how many messages people can receive for example, because most messages simply get lost in people's (womens) inboxes and as a result Fab is swamped with people pissed off at the amount of unwanted attention they get.

I would suggest to the owners of the site, that it needs an overhaul of the way it runs, and putting more control as I say, would really make it a much better experience for everyone.

More filtering would also help.

At the moment, women are getting hundreds of messages a day, and thats not condusive to a well run, well thought out, and constructive or positive contact-website.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We like all the men, and I like the fact people can dip their toes in for no cost.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not saying its a bad thing that its essentially free, more that its a bad thing the way people are swamped with so many messages - that area needs to be looked at in such a way as to gain some control over it.

The men on here send out far too many emails, and the women on here are lost under a heaving inbox full of nonsensical responses, and the well thought out ones, get lost and more often unread.

As a paying customer, people should be given a better opportunity to make contact than someone not paying. In my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There are plenty of 'better' sites than this one, but people come back here because it's basically free up to a point which is why it's SO overloaded with men.

I would suggest to the owners of the site, that it needs an overhaul of the way it runs, and putting more control as I say, would really make it a much better experience for everyone.

More filtering would also help.

At the moment, women are getting hundreds of messages a day, and thats not condusive to a well run, well thought out, and constructive or positive contact-website."

As a single woman on here that has used the filters on the site as they are intended I don't get hundreds of unwanted mails a day. I get about 5 to 10 new messages from single men in my age range. It is a common misconception that women get hundreds of messages, in my experiance (5 years) we don't...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are other sites around as mentioned..but ive found Fs the best..value wise..yes i am a supporter/paid up..but i found its run by people for people..the people (on the majority) are friendlier.chattier..more relaxed??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

More relaxed? I wouldn't say that was true, at least from a mans perspective on here. Most women are really unfriendly (sadly due to the idiots who annoy them, which I understand) and hard to talk to, even if you're a well meaning, intelligent, respectful individual who takes the time to write an email that means something to them.

It's encouraging to read that the filters, when applied correctly, can work.

It would be useful if the site admins would put up a 'how to' guide for people to understand the filters and how they need to apply them to avoid being inundated.

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By *opping_candyWoman over a year ago

West Yorkshire

In my first week or two yeah I got too many messages, but I'd simply block single men till I caught up. It doesn't have to be unmanageable. Now I get a handful a day and some days none at all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"More relaxed? I wouldn't say that was true, at least from a mans perspective on here. Most women are really unfriendly (sadly due to the idiots who annoy them, which I understand) and hard to talk to, even if you're a well meaning, intelligent, respectful individual who takes the time to write an email that means something to them.

It's encouraging to read that the filters, when applied correctly, can work.

It would be useful if the site admins would put up a 'how to' guide for people to understand the filters and how they need to apply them to avoid being inundated."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In my first week or two yeah I got too many messages, but I'd simply block single men till I caught up. It doesn't have to be unmanageable. Now I get a handful a day and some days none at all."

I think that highlights my point in a way - you had to block single men to wade through it all. As a paid up member like myself, we get lost in amongst the unpaid members and that feels like a bad balance, albeit one you addressed after a while.

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By *opping_candyWoman over a year ago

West Yorkshire

But what I'm trying to say is it's easy to use the filters to make sure no-one is messaging you without hope of a reply.

As for a 'how to' guide on how to use the filters, I really think they are very self explanatory but many people will choose to complain about getting hundreds of messages, perhaps to make themselves seem popular

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"But what I'm trying to say is it's easy to use the filters to make sure no-one is messaging you without hope of a reply.

Good points, and a very pertinent one about wanting to appear popular.

Dare I also suggest that people don't bother to even look at the filters, or perhaps their 'net' is spread so wide that they don't want to count people out for exactly the reasons you mentioned. Ego could well be in charge here!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"But what I'm trying to say is it's easy to use the filters to make sure no-one is messaging you without hope of a reply.

Good points, and a very pertinent one about wanting to appear popular.

An idea I repeatedly suggest is the ability to fab peoples profiles rather than just their pics, the idea being that guys who have made the most effort with theirs will gain additional recognition and gradually begin to move to the top of the heap - this way, filters can be set so that rather than filtering out single males altogether (basically throwing the baby out with the bathwater), single males can be filtered based on the number of fabs they've accrued.

This way, women and couples can make it so that only guys who are willing to make an effort in swinging are able to contact them, and the copy and paste/fancy a shag/three word profile crowd aren't able to clog their mailboxes.

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By *livia_KWoman over a year ago

South London

Who are these women getting a hundred messages a day? I recently come back to fab after a break, and when I unhid my profile I got quite a few initially (maybe 20 or 30 max), but died down quite quickly. Now on a busy day I might get 10, some days only 1 or 2 or even none. And that's a mix of M, MF and F.

The way I manage it is to turn my filters on and off as I feel like it. Makes the messages easier to manage.

What was this thread about again? Oh yeah, other sites. I used to be on another site as well bu that died a death so I'm back here

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

i think the hundreds of messages a day thing only happens in the built up city areas where for example I can see every person woman/couple who sets up in the NE area ... it is the one downside of the local updates thing, it makes them known very quickly

so you are talking about a huge area... if it is like that here I always wondered what it would be like in birmingham, sheffield,liverpool,manchester, glasgow which only have the 1 postcode....

maybe the only thing I would do is that in the intial setting up of profiles, they are all built with the filters on.... as opposed to filters off.... just to help people work out what they are after...

but yes, i can imagine that people get chancers mailing them as soon as they come on the site... fresh meat so to speak....

me personally.. i don't mail anyone till they have been on the site for at least a week.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ive been on a few,some of the pay sites,we were a bit naive then!

Came here over 4 years ago and felt immediately comfortable with it and its been a pleasure to see how its grown and improved,its perfect for me and I can't see me needing to go elsewhere unless I was looking for a niche fantasy that I could'nt find here

I don't entirely believe that women get 100s of messages a day,unless they have all filters open and a profile that says come and get me now ill take anyone on

@sexybrain,there was a function on here a while back now where you could "like" a profile and im sure you could see how many times your profile had been given the

It did'nt last long and I can't remember if other people could see how many times it had been "liked"though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@sexybrain,there was a function on here a while back now where you could "like" a profile and im sure you could see how many times your profile had been given the

It did'nt last long and I can't remember if other people could see how many times it had been "liked"though"

I didn't know that, any idea why it was removed?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@sexybrain,there was a function on here a while back now where you could "like" a profile and im sure you could see how many times your profile had been given the

It did'nt last long and I can't remember if other people could see how many times it had been "liked"though

I didn't know that, any idea why it was removed?"

Possibly because it was'nt popular,I think admin were trying out new ideas at the time but im not entirely sure,someone else may remember though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Who are these women getting a hundred messages a day? I recently come back to fab after a break, and when I unhid my profile I got quite a few initially (maybe 20 or 30 max), but died down quite quickly. Now on a busy day I might get 10, some days only 1 or 2 or even none. And that's a mix of M, MF and F.

The way I manage it is to turn my filters on and off as I feel like it. Makes the messages easier to manage.

What was this thread about again? Oh yeah, other sites. I used to be on another site as well bu that died a death so I'm back here

Olivia - you're clearly using the site properly, but many women aren't and are getting hundreds of emails.

As a result, us sensible, friendly, smart guys get lost in the pile ALL the time - and when you're on a paysite, it's very frustrating.

People like me, take time to read profiles properly, and take time to send well thought out, sensible, thoughtful emails to only find they either don't get read or simply deleted straight away and thats not a good thing on a paysite.

It needs people like you to filter properly, otherwise the site is close to useless for people like me and that's not really fair on a site you pay for.

Plus, as a knock-on, the women on here just get annoyed because after a while of sending out well thought out replies, you get pissed off with it and people then send out short one-liners so it's a vicious circle.

The site admins need to push people to use filters because the site is massively over-subscibed.

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By *ricky_DickyMan over a year ago

Mirfield

"Does anyone else use any other websites for swinging and always end up coming back to fabs too?

Then our account gets turned into a males account for no reason.

To be honest, if their customer service is like that before you sign up. I dread to think what its like after.

Thats why I like fabs. Its easy to use and they don't ban you without reason or warning just so they can make money.

Anyone else had bad experiences?"

Many years ago before Fab I experienced one of the 'dodgy' paysites being new to the internet an a bit green I was flattered by all the attention I was getting. I didn't realize that these 'people' where fakes and as soon as I subscribed they just vanished, a hard lesson learned.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The way I manage it is to turn my filters on and off as I feel like it. Makes the messages easier to manage.

What was this thread about again? Oh yeah, other sites. I used to be on another site as well bu that died a death so I'm back here

Olivia - you're clearly using the site properly, but many women aren't and are getting hundreds of emails.

As a result, us sensible, friendly, smart guys get lost in the pile ALL the time - and when you're on a paysite, it's very frustrating.

It needs people like you to filter properly, otherwise the site is close to useless for people like me and that's not really fair on a site you pay for.

The site admins need to push people to use filters because the site is massively over-subscibed."

while I agree with you on some of your points all I can hear is what appears to be massive sense of entitlement because you're paying member-that somehow you deserve more consideration because of that...maybe, just maybe-and I know this may come as a shock to you, there women who are on the receiving end of your well constructed and meaningful missives just don't fancy you?

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

It would be useful if the site admins would put up a 'how to' guide for people to understand the filters and how they need to apply them to avoid being inundated."

When you register you get help on how to find the filters etc

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"@sexybrain,there was a function on here a while back now where you could "like" a profile and im sure you could see how many times your profile had been given the

It did'nt last long and I can't remember if other people could see how many times it had been "liked"though

I didn't know that, any idea why it was removed?"

No one liked it.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"In my first week or two yeah I got too many messages, but I'd simply block single men till I caught up. It doesn't have to be unmanageable. Now I get a handful a day and some days none at all.

Wether you pay or not, people may not like what you write or what they see on your profile.

Paying SS doesn't get you sex or push you up any list.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"In my first week or two yeah I got too many messages, but I'd simply block single men till I caught up. It doesn't have to be unmanageable. Now I get a handful a day and some days none at all.

Wether you pay or not, people may not like what you write or what they see on your profile.

Paying SS doesn't get you sex or push you up any list."

Nope. Gets rid of the ads and that's worth every penny of a fiver every two months to us!

As for the "I get hundreds of messages everyday" - I've kept a little mental note of some of these and there is a 'pattern' to a lot of them. First there IS a geographical bias, and it does seem that the women saying they 'get loads' (of messages!) are in two or three quite defined areas of the country. Second, a lot of the profiles and pics associated to them seem to fit in a certain 'group' which attracts single guys like flies to a pot of jam! Just look at the 'most fabbed pics' and you'll see what I mean lol!

And lastly, as a couple of other posters have said, it comes to down to a combination of ego and - dare I say it without me tin helmet on - attention seeking.

When Ruby first had her single female profile on here, yes she got quite a few messages (mostly of 'poor quality' shall we say...) and, over a few weeks she learned how to reduce them down to a manageable number by a combination of having a well written profile (for which I unashamedly take the credit!) setting ALL her filters properly - not just the message ones - and being strict with herself on which ones get a reply and those which are consigned to the bin.

The simple fact is, you are NEVER going to have a perfect site but, compared to a few others we have tried, despite it's faults/shortcomings Fabs gives us just about what we need. Sure, there are things which could be better from OUR point of view - but those may not suit the majority, and it's the majority which have to be catered for...

ted.

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By *hyllyphyllyMan over a year ago

Bradford

since splitting up with "her", I've been a member of quite a few sites.

I'm on the rock and roll here, and can't afford to pay £30 a month. I did join one once and the attitude of guys is worse than this site.... maybe because they spent more money and therefore expect meets every night.

This one has everything I need. it might not be a looker, but it's what's on the inside that counts

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@sexybrain,there was a function on here a while back now where you could "like" a profile and im sure you could see how many times your profile had been given the

It did'nt last long and I can't remember if other people could see how many times it had been "liked"though

I didn't know that, any idea why it was removed?

No one liked it."

I doubt it worked in quite the same way as the idea I'm proposing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree

I use filters so only verified men between 30 and 42 can message me. I've never had the hundreds of messages some claim women get either. Mind you my location helps with that, I'm miles from most men lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@sexybrain,there was a function on here a while back now where you could "like" a profile and im sure you could see how many times your profile had been given the

It did'nt last long and I can't remember if other people could see how many times it had been "liked"though

I didn't know that, any idea why it was removed?

No one liked it.

I doubt it worked in quite the same way as the idea I'm proposing."

It did!!

If you're finding yourselves (aimed at nobody in particular) apparently 'lost amongst others messages', getting no replies, no managing to attract the interest of others - it's not always for the reasons that have been thrown out as they often are on this and many other threads!

If you blame the numbers, the actions of others or people's lack of using filters - don't forget that it may in fact be none of these reasons. It could be (shock horror!!) that they're simply not attracted to you or interested in meeting/replying.

The site is a tool - not a guarantee. Use it as nothing more than that and you'll find life a lot happier!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@sexybrain,there was a function on here a while back now where you could "like" a profile and im sure you could see how many times your profile had been given the

It did'nt last long and I can't remember if other people could see how many times it had been "liked"though

I didn't know that, any idea why it was removed?

No one liked it.

I doubt it worked in quite the same way as the idea I'm proposing.

It did!!

Strange that you never mentioned it all the others times I've shot your counter arguments down eh?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@sexybrain,there was a function on here a while back now where you could "like" a profile and im sure you could see how many times your profile had been given the

It did'nt last long and I can't remember if other people could see how many times it had been "liked"though

I didn't know that, any idea why it was removed?

No one liked it.

I doubt it worked in quite the same way as the idea I'm proposing.

It did!!

Strange that you never mentioned it all the others times I've shot your counter arguments down eh?

Why strange?

It's an old site function that the majority of current members would never have seen/heard of - a bit like the old facility to add captions to your pics (instead of using software as I do now - or in your case - marker pen!)

I've always put my argument across based on the current posts in threads - whether I've agreed or disagreed.

And as for "shot your counter arguments down"? Really?

I prefer to see it as us having different opinions. And so far I don't remember having to pick any buckshot out of any of my posts - but if you like to think that way - go ahead!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@sexybrain,there was a function on here a while back now where you could "like" a profile and im sure you could see how many times your profile had been given the

It did'nt last long and I can't remember if other people could see how many times it had been "liked"though

I didn't know that, any idea why it was removed?

No one liked it.

I doubt it worked in quite the same way as the idea I'm proposing.

It did!!

Strange that you never mentioned it all the others times I've shot your counter arguments down eh?

Why strange?

I can understand why some people may not want to use such a feature, but at the same time, its no different to the pic fabbing that is still on the site - and like pic fabbing, there's no reason why people couldn't choose to individually opt out if they personally didn't like the idea of having their profiles fabbed, rather than scrap the entire idea altogether for those that do see the value in it.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

I think you may be missing the point....no one liked it, everybody hated it ( I feel the worm song coming on now ) so Admin took it off.

They didn't get to an opt out thing as it was recieved so bad.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think you may be missing the point....no one liked it, everybody hated it ( I feel the worm song coming on now ) so Admin took it off.

They didn't get to an opt out thing as it was recieved so bad."

Sounds like rather a knee jerk reaction to simply being able to see who likes your profile?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@sexybrain,there was a function on here a while back now where you could "like" a profile and im sure you could see how many times your profile had been given the

It did'nt last long and I can't remember if other people could see how many times it had been "liked"though

I didn't know that, any idea why it was removed?"

Isn't that like winking at someone though or am I missing the point here?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

you mean there is another sight , lol

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Ah you see it wasn't a just who likes your profile it was a thumbs down too and why no one liked it.

Either way, it is not on here now.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I did join one once and the attitude of guys is worse than this site.... maybe because they spent more money and therefore expect meets every night."

Looks like it happens on this site too!

AS a single woman who doesn't get constant messages (shocking, I know) I feel that there is a strong sense of entitlement from some men on Fab, expecting me to meet at a moments notice, expecting me to reply to their messages when they haven't made the effort to read my profile, expecting me to conform to their fantasies without bothering to find out what I want. If it ever got to the point where I got cross because people weren't meeting me I would take a break. It's not the sites fault if people aren't getting interest.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ah you see it wasn't a just who likes your profile it was a thumbs down too and why no one liked it."

Then it would have made far more sense to simply remove the thumbs down rather than the entire feature - that way if you like a profile you can fab it, if you don't, then you don't - simple.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"@sexybrain,there was a function on here a while back now where you could "like" a profile and im sure you could see how many times your profile had been given the

It did'nt last long and I can't remember if other people could see how many times it had been "liked"though

I didn't know that, any idea why it was removed?

Isn't that like winking at someone though or am I missing the point here? "

That's what I'm thinking too.

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By *hyllyphyllyMan over a year ago

Bradford

AS a single woman who doesn't get constant messages"

I can send you 21 messages...

Oh wait, you said constant and not consonant

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

AS a single woman who doesn't get constant messages

I can send you 21 messages...

Oh wait, you said constant and not consonant

Boom boom!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@sexybrain,there was a function on here a while back now where you could "like" a profile and im sure you could see how many times your profile had been given the

It did'nt last long and I can't remember if other people could see how many times it had been "liked"though

I didn't know that, any idea why it was removed?

No one liked it.

I doubt it worked in quite the same way as the idea I'm proposing.

It did!!

Strange that you never mentioned it all the others times I've shot your counter arguments down eh?

Why strange?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think you may be missing the point....no one liked it, everybody hated it ( I feel the worm song coming on now ) so Admin took it off.

They didn't get to an opt out thing as it was recieved so bad.

Sounds like rather a knee jerk reaction to simply being able to see who likes your profile?"

If someone likes your profile - cant they wink - or hey - random idea I know - just send a message saying "Hi, I/we like your profile!" ?

Works for me - and I've sent similar messages myself before !

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I think you may be missing the point....no one liked it, everybody hated it ( I feel the worm song coming on now ) so Admin took it off.

They didn't get to an opt out thing as it was recieved so bad.

Sounds like rather a knee jerk reaction to simply being able to see who likes your profile?

If someone likes your profile - cant they wink - or hey - random idea I know - just send a message saying "Hi, I/we like your profile!" ?

Works for me - and I've sent similar messages myself before ! "

But they might think I want to meet them!

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"There are plenty of 'better' sites than this one, but people come back here because it's basically free up to a point which is why it's SO overloaded with men.

I would suggest to the owners of the site, that it needs an overhaul of the way it runs, and putting more control as I say, would really make it a much better experience for everyone.

More filtering would also help.

At the moment, women are getting hundreds of messages a day, and thats not condusive to a well run, well thought out, and constructive or positive contact-website.

Yup - those who say they do are, potentially, fantasists, or have no filters whatsoever so that ANY male can message them.

I get between 10 and 20 a day - although a lot more when I put an ad for a meet up.

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By *lackshadow7Man over a year ago

Toronto

There are other sites, plenty of them. Some offer things that Fab lacks individually.

As a whole package, there are maybe 2 other ones i can think of that are on the same level as here (maybe better). One is a subscription based site though, so that probably culls the herd right from the start.

In terms of fully free (or almost fully free) sites, Fab is pretty much the best out there.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Janey and Monkey - absolutely. I'm not so deluded to think that everyone finds me attractive, but your attitude is also indicative of the way men are treated on here - we're lucky if we're seen as 3rd class citizens, and thats mainly due to the large amount of idiots on here.

My point is more that there are also many well meaning men on here who get a lot of bad press, which is uncalled for and undeserved.

I've been involved on sites like this for about 12 years, and not one has ever been as unfriendly (toward men in particular) as this one.

You're completely right that not everyone fancies everyone, and of course thats a very worthwhile point to make - the thing is, that if I write 'fancy a fuck'? (which I never have) to someone, that its treated the same as a 4 paragraph, sensible, nicely written email to someone - deleted or not even read.

What about some template replies for example? A simple 'no thanks' button maybe? You see what I'm driving at, hopefully

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"Ah you see it wasn't a just who likes your profile it was a thumbs down too and why no one liked it.

Then it would have made far more sense to simply remove the thumbs down rather than the entire feature - that way if you like a profile you can fab it, if you don't, then you don't - simple."

Without wishing to sound rude...but I didn't give a toss one way or another and I am not really interested now....I was just answering the question of why it went.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Janey and Monkey - absolutely. I'm not so deluded to think that everyone finds me attractive, but your attitude is also indicative of the way men are treated on here - we're lucky if we're seen as 3rd class citizens, and thats mainly due to the large amount of idiots on here.

My point is more that there are also many well meaning men on here who get a lot of bad press, which is uncalled for and undeserved.

I've been involved on sites like this for about 12 years, and not one has ever been as unfriendly (toward men in particular) as this one.

What about some template replies for example? A simple 'no thanks' button maybe? You see what I'm driving at, hopefully

In that case I'd like a 'what part of my profile did you find difficult to understand' button please

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By *ucy and CarlCouple over a year ago

Broadstairs

It's encouraging to read that the filters, when applied correctly, can work.

It would be useful if the site admins would put up a 'how to' guide for people to understand the filters and how they need to apply them to avoid being inundated.

Well put. Whilst I appreciate people get lot's of messages it really is quite disappointing when you take time to write a long articulate and personal message and attach pics only to see it deleted straight away. With one liners and obvious cut n paste messages fair enough. But surely a quick thanks but no thanks doesn't hurt? "
we are not guilty of not replying we reply to all winks and emails. We are on another site called local singers. Was on that for 7 years but feel that has had its day so joined this one. Can understand though when people do just delete. As I have noticed that the vast majority of single guys don't read the profile first. They think looking at the pics is reading the profile

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By *ucy and CarlCouple over a year ago

Broadstairs

Mean local swingers lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There are plenty of 'better' sites than this one, but people come back here because it's basically free up to a point which is why it's SO overloaded with men.

I would suggest to the owners of the site, that it needs an overhaul of the way it runs, and putting more control as I say, would really make it a much better experience for everyone.

More filtering would also help.

At the moment, women are getting hundreds of messages a day, and thats not condusive to a well run, well thought out, and constructive or positive contact-website."
Messages dont get lost in my inbox -

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Does anyone else use any other websites for swinging and always end up coming back to fabs too?

Then our account gets turned into a males account for no reason.

To be honest, if their customer service is like that before you sign up. I dread to think what its like after.

Thats why I like fabs. Its easy to use and they don't ban you without reason or warning just so they can make money.

Anyone else had bad experiences?"

I've been on Fab for about 3 years now. I use it to keep in contact with people that I know from other swingers websites that I've been on over the years. I'm still 'active' on 2 other websites and a member of about 4 other swingers sites as well.

Fab can be a bit of a 'meat market' at times, but I still have a good laugh in the forums and reading the forums as well as attending socials from on here, so well worth the few quid that I do pay for silver membership.

I've never paid out silly money for membership of a swingers site, but I'm on another much smaller site that does charge a small amount to use all the features, but basics like messaging etc are still free, so I spend a lot of time there chatting to people.

Most sites are indeed what you make of them, the more effort you put in the more you get out. As a single male on any swingers site, you're going to be in the majority, so stand out from the crowd, if you're not getting results, don't whinge about it, take a good hard long look at your own profile, how you write your messages and of course who you write them to as well. If you don't get a reply to a message, so what, chalk it up to experiance and move on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think you may be missing the point....no one liked it, everybody hated it ( I feel the worm song coming on now ) so Admin took it off.

They didn't get to an opt out thing as it was recieved so bad.

Sounds like rather a knee jerk reaction to simply being able to see who likes your profile?

If someone likes your profile - cant they wink - or hey - random idea I know - just send a message saying "Hi, I/we like your profile!" ?

1. As is my usual response to that, it doesn't matter whether or not you write a person a nice mail if their inbox is so clogged that they don't noticed.

2. That doesn't serve the purpose of elevating the profiles of those who make an effort on here, that being the entire point of my idea.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm not so much whinging about any of this stuff - more that I'm trying to put forward some ideas for options that could be incorporated which help everyone.

The real point I'm making is that by making it more friendly, then women don't get inundated/annoyed by men not reading profiles, and men don't get frustrated = everyone is happier and contact is easier for everyone, from the people they actually want to hear from.

Seemingly, the filters do work though, so perhaps it's just a case of people needing to apply them better.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think you may be missing the point....no one liked it, everybody hated it ( I feel the worm song coming on now ) so Admin took it off.

They didn't get to an opt out thing as it was recieved so bad.

Sounds like rather a knee jerk reaction to simply being able to see who likes your profile?

If someone likes your profile - cant they wink - or hey - random idea I know - just send a message saying "Hi, I/we like your profile!" ?

1. As is my usual response to that, it doesn't matter whether or not you write a person a nice mail if their inbox is so clogged that they don't noticed.

2. That doesn't serve the purpose of elevating the profiles of those who make an effort on here, that being the entire point of my idea."

Ok.

Point 1. I've never met anyone whose inbox was sooooo clogged that they missed a message that would have stood out and caught they're eye. The stuff that 'clogs' as you say is rapidly deleted. And that goes for single ladies and couples. People are capable of managing a busy inbox - just at their own speed!

Point 2. Why is it the sites job to 'elevate' your profile? That's your job - nobody else's!! There's plenty of ways of doing that yourself if used correctly - but as I said before - the best profile, pics and messages will count for nothing if upon meeting face to face the other party thinks you're a massive cock!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That "huge cock" remark wasn't aimed at any contributor - just a general statement that pictures and words are one thing - how you interact face to face is the important thing!

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

True - the only time my inbox was 'clogged' was when I first joined. I was quite happily trying to reply to all messages but for every one I responded to another 6 or 7 popped up. I simply could not possibly have answered them all - it must have been 3 pages of them! In the end I was forced to delete many which I never even read or I would have been there hours and hours.

Then I found the filters and life is so much simpler!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Point 1. I've never met anyone whose inbox was sooooo clogged that they missed a message that would have stood out and caught they're eye. The stuff that 'clogs' as you say is rapidly deleted."

Its very hard to catch a persons eye with a message when all they can read, at least initially is the title and the first few words. If you're messaging someone whos attention is particularly in demand, then there's an extremely high probability that your mail - however well written - will be bulk deleted, and even if you do get a reply, good luck carrying on the conversation as your follow up messages continue to get bogged down in that furiously competitive inbox - and of course, they may well get bulk deleted too. In defence of the person doing the deleting however, I'd probably do the same if I was so frustrated with being utterly inundated all the time, mostly by guys I have absolutely no interest in - though sadly as is so often the way, they're eventually forced to block ALL single males, including the ones they may actually WANT to chat to, because of the sheer volume of them - sorry, but I see this as being utterly unfair on those who made a proper effort to establish contact.

"Point 2. Why is it the sites job to 'elevate' your profile? That's your job - nobody else's!!"

And yet again, as I constantly have to keep pointing out to you, no matter how well written your profile and messages, how good your pics and verifications they all count for NOTHING if you cannot get a persons attention due to the sheer number of messages they're receiving. 'The sites job to elevate' my profile? No - my idea is only intended to give proper recognition to those who choose to make an effort in being good swingers, make them easier for everyone to find, and make it easier for them to contact the kind of people they might want to swing with.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well said, Sexybrain.

This isn't just about men making contact, it's about the right people making contact with the right people - men, women and couples included.

I think a lot of this thread has now gotten bogged down with the aspect surrounding men sending too much crappy mail, when it's actually about a more harmonious experience for everyone which results in better contacts, and easier contact.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Actually it's about 'other websites' but that's a minor detail

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I still don't see the problem.

Maybe it's just me - but I've never experienced any of the problems you describe!

* I doubt it is just me though as there's many a guy on here who's happily utilising the site and having a ball!

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I hardly ever send messages anyway. Sent one to Obi once. I always find the title 'Sloppy Porridge' is pretty good.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We personally think this is a marvellous site.

The forums are fair and allow this sort of discussion which certainly wouldn't be the case on other sites which we paid for before finding fab a few years ago.

There are fakes of course but a simple female to female call tends to rule them out very quickly.

We have to thank the newish owners for improving the site further with lots of great additions like being able to read previous posts and looked at me etc.

It would be great if we had a few more socials but bomb has been great doing her London ones so far.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

It sounds like a lot of grief could be avoided by having an interesting/humorous message title. Works for me!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There are plenty of 'better' sites than this one, but people come back here because it's basically free up to a point which is why it's SO overloaded with men.

Fab needs to have more controls put on it with regard to how many messages people can receive for example, because most messages simply get lost in people's (womens) inboxes and as a result Fab is swamped with people upissed off at the amount of unwanted attention they get.

I would suggest to the owners of the site, that it needs an overhaul of the way it runs, and putting more control as I say, would really make it a much better experience for everyone.

More filtering would also help.

At the moment, women are getting hundreds of messages a day, and thats not condusive to a well run, well thought out, and constructive or positive contact-website.

Yeap Im the same to now although when you first start you get shit loads and its a bit disconcerting when you're trying to figure the site out. Not having chat history too was confusing when you have that many messages.

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"Point 1. I've never met anyone whose inbox was sooooo clogged that they missed a message that would have stood out and caught they're eye. The stuff that 'clogs' as you say is rapidly deleted.

Erm, hello? Two women at least have responded to this. If women are using their filters they do NOT get 'sheer volume' or 'inundated' or 'swamped'. They just do not. They get a lot but not unmanageable amounts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Point 1. I've never met anyone whose inbox was sooooo clogged that they missed a message that would have stood out and caught they're eye. The stuff that 'clogs' as you say is rapidly deleted.

Perhaps they don't, but many women do.

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"Point 1. I've never met anyone whose inbox was sooooo clogged that they missed a message that would have stood out and caught they're eye. The stuff that 'clogs' as you say is rapidly deleted.

Perhaps they don't, but many women do."

Only if they don't set their filters.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Point 1. I've never met anyone whose inbox was sooooo clogged that they missed a message that would have stood out and caught they're eye. The stuff that 'clogs' as you say is rapidly deleted.

Perhaps they don't, but many women do.

Only if they don't set their filters."

Then a good place to start would be that upon creating a new single female/couples profile, EVERYONE should be filtered, and you cannot start receiving mails until you've specified who you want to receive them from.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Point 1. I've never met anyone whose inbox was sooooo clogged that they missed a message that would have stood out and caught they're eye. The stuff that 'clogs' as you say is rapidly deleted.

Perhaps they don't, but many women do.

Only if they don't set their filters.

Even with an age filter, a 'verified filter, a non-newbie filter, and a visible pics filter - the only ones that you can use if you're wanting to meet single guys - there's no 'I just don't like you/am attracted to you/feel the need to respond to your well or badly written message' filter!!

If replies aren't forthcoming, messages aren't getting read and meets not happening - never assume it's a 'quality of the message or profile/number of messages in my inbox/have or haven't set my filters properly'.

As it may well be that it's none of the above!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Point 1. I've never met anyone whose inbox was sooooo clogged that they missed a message that would have stood out and caught they're eye. The stuff that 'clogs' as you say is rapidly deleted.

Perhaps they don't, but many women do.

Only if they don't set their filters.

All the more reason to include an additional filter to only allow those who've accrued so many profile fabs then eh?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Mean local swingers lol"

Think I know that site Lucy lol lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Point 1. I've never met anyone whose inbox was sooooo clogged that they missed a message that would have stood out and caught they're eye. The stuff that 'clogs' as you say is rapidly deleted.

Perhaps they don't, but many women do.

Only if they don't set their filters.

All the more reason to include an additional filter to only allow those who've accrued so many profile fabs then eh?

So a profile gets a few fabs!

Doesn't mean that the next single female/couple will be in the slightest bit interested in it!

And the cynic in me suspects that should such an option ever appear (although I strongly doubt it will ever see the light of day!) that there would be a whole bunch of fake profiles set up just to 'self fab'.

I hate to labour the point (and promise - hand on heart and hope to not exactly die - but be subjected to something vaguely painful yet perhaps enjoyable at the same time!) but I still 100% believe that the sites existing facilities allow people - be they single male, female, or couple (and of course TV/TS and MM, FF) - to create a profile which can appeal to their 'target audience' in such a way as to make their life on site enjoyable, without resorting to a need to blame the actions of others, percentage breakdowns of genders, or existing contact/filter settings for any perceived 'issues' relating to lack of replies/interest/meets.

And here endeth my contribution to this thread!

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By *Ryan-Man over a year ago

In Your Bush

Has anyone considered that there messages may not get answered because they are just dull?

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By *Ryan-Man over a year ago

In Your Bush

Hahaha I'd only just stopped laughing. That's set me off again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/06/13 01:14:00]

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Has anyone considered that there messages may not get answered because they are just dull?"

No! It can't possibly be that! It must be because they are not given the chance to shine because all the thickies get to message us women first and turn us off the very idea of reading messages.

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By *HAEDRUS2013Man over a year ago

LONDON

"Has anyone considered that there messages may not get answered because they are just dull?

No! It can't possibly be that! It must be because they are not given the chance to shine because all the thickies get to message us women first and turn us off the very idea of reading messages.

HAHA! First laugh of the day.

Enjoying reading the posts-thoughtful topics and enjoyable responses. Nothing to add as you are saying everything I could and more.

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By *lackshadow7Man over a year ago

Toronto

"Has anyone considered that there messages may not get answered because they are just dull?

No! It can't possibly be that! It must be because they are not given the chance to shine because all the thickies get to message us women first and turn us off the very idea of reading messages.

LOL

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My point is more that there are also many well meaning men on here who get a lot of bad press, which is uncalled for and undeserved.

I've been involved on sites like this for about 12 years, and not one has ever been as unfriendly (toward men in particular) as this one.

What about some template replies for example? A simple 'no thanks' button maybe? You see what I'm driving at, hopefully

Actually we're not at all indicative, we don't meet single men, not because of the idiots...they amuse me no end...but because I'm utterly uninterested in getting fucked by random single men...I love men and enjoy their company and have no problem with them at all, they're just not the reason we're here...swinging for us is about enhancing our life with the things we can't provide for each other, not adding another cock into the mix...

And we don't need a no thanks button-we have a standard message we send out that seems to work really well and never seem to get any aggro from that...maybe people here just need to grow up a little bit and act like the adults they're supposed to be to be here, use the filters wisely, be upfront with the people who contact you who you aren't interested in and accept the answers you get including a plain delete...it's more likely it means they're not interested in you than anything else...

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By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

"We personally think this is a marvellous site.

The forums are fair and allow this sort of discussion which certainly wouldn't be the case on other sites which we paid for before finding fab a few years ago.

Having been paid members of another site we would certainly agree with that. Even the slightest criticism in the forums was at best deleted or in some cases the whole profile would be thrown out.

As for dodgy messages, we used to get a handful of messages every week, most were time wasters with an occasional decent one. As soon as our subscription expired we were inundated with messages we couldn't read without "upgrading" We'll let you come to your own conclusion on that one.

FAB is not perfect (what is?) and as we have posted on other threads a bit of expansion into Europe wouldn't go amiss, but we like it and together with a German language site we use more than satisfies our internet swinging needs.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

On the subject of mails....." hi how are you" type mails don't interest us....so we just scroll past them to find better ones.

What we deem good mails don't normally get lost in our mails.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So a profile gets a few fabs!

Doesn't mean that the next single female/couple will be in the slightest bit interested in it!"

Nope, but it betters the profiles chances of at least being noticed. If the women/couples then take the time to read it and it doesn't appeal to them, fine, move on - the issue I've quite clearly demonstrated throughout isn't with not being everyones cup of tea so much as being lost in the shuffle.

"And the cynic in me suspects that should such an option ever appear (although I strongly doubt it will ever see the light of day!) that there would be a whole bunch of fake profiles set up just to 'self fab'."

Yes, because creating several hundred fake profiles is so much easier than taking the time to write a single, genuine good one

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

I am not sure this is going anywhere as it is going round in circles.

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