FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Married and wanting more
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"Have tried in the past x" Good where do I sign up for a meet | |||
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"I'm married-recently married and I'm bored. I was into swinging big time before we met and now I just want to get back to but secretly- he can never find out! I just want to feel attractive and that excitement again and man I miss what swinging and men did for my confidence. " This is my observation and not intended to be judgemental but have just read this and cant help thinking how sad it is that if you are only recently married you already feel bored. Maybe you should be focusing on why and how to put it right and whether your marriage works before worrying about something so superficial as swinging? Sad too that it takes swinging to make you feel good about yourself which is how your message reads to me. Wish you all the best whatever you decide x | |||
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"We both met through a swinging site, settled down and now have a daughter together! I am honestly happy with my family just miss the buzz and the excitement of the unknown I guess!! " imagine how your oh feels. | |||
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"Judging by the fact you are here, have friends and verified you already know what to do. As previously mentioned if it were the male part he would have been hung drawn and quartered... You go on to say you love him and are happy...so if you are commit to him and your marriage and get off here... That is just my thought..." I have always thought that when I see posts like this it seems that it's more acceptable for a woman to cheat than a bloke.. Roles reversed... Op.. How would you react if he was doing this. Instead off you... | |||
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"Judging by the fact you are here, have friends and verified you already know what to do. As previously mentioned if it were the male part he would have been hung drawn and quartered... You go on to say you love him and are happy...so if you are commit to him and your marriage and get off here... That is just my thought... I have always thought that when I see posts like this it seems that it's more acceptable for a woman to cheat than a bloke.. Roles reversed... Op.. How would you react if he was doing this. Instead off you... " imagine you are reading him saying this in a forum how fun would that be you'd definitely get a buzz alright. | |||
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"I'm married-recently married and I'm bored. I was into swinging big time before we met and now I just want to get back to but secretly- he can never find out! I just want to feel attractive and that excitement again and man I miss what swinging and men did for my confidence. So how do I do this without my partner finding out and am I really a bad person cause I feel awful but I just don't think about in too much!" Have you tried working on things with your hubby instead of looking on here? if you aren't happy with everypart of your relationship, you need to work on it or leave. you and him deserve to be happy. | |||
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"They are many of us in a similar situation. Well done to the OP for being up front. Yes, in an ideal world, then of course she would tell hubby etc, but reading between the lines, presume this is a no no. My only advice would be to be extremely discreet, and please be careful hun. Maybe, play with understanding couples, or those in the same boat as yourself. Have fun and enjoy !!" As they met through swinging I can't see why she can't be honest, the fact many so called happy married ladies are on here playing with out the oh knowledge proves that women are no better then men, but get off lightly with it... as you can tell this post has hit a nerve for some reason. | |||
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"My, my, my, well isn't this just dandy: giving the op support for cheating and the ink isn't even dry on her marriage license! I've seen married men ripped a new one, verbally castrated, called every name under the sun, advised to go to Relate, the works. Not once have I seen "take care hun". Two faced hypocrites! Op, if sex with faceless strangers who only see you as attractive enough to empty their sacs makes you happy and not the poor sap you exchanged your vows with last week: welcome to Fab, fill your boots!" | |||
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"23 and bored already? My advice: 1 - Don't rush into any more MAJOR decisions. 2 - Don't treat your husband like a cunt. 3 - Become more self aware... starting with the word selfish. " I can't agree more. If you were male you'd have been vilified and treated very differently in the thread for bloody good reason. Take a long hard look at things and if you really are unhappy, leave the relationships. You need an open, honest and frank conversation with your husband, if you met on a swinging site he's not new to this world. Options you have are involve: 1. involve him and swing as a couple 2. Split up and then you can swing as a single. 3. Suck it up and grow you, relationships and marriage are hard. Work on it and put right what's making you bored. Talk about double standards on here. | |||
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"23 and bored already? My advice: 1 - Don't rush into any more MAJOR decisions. 2 - Don't treat your husband like a cunt. 3 - Become more self aware... starting with the word selfish. " | |||
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"23 and bored already? My advice: 1 - Don't rush into any more MAJOR decisions. 2 - Don't treat your husband like a cunt. 3 - Become more self aware... starting with the word selfish. " | |||
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"My, my, my, well isn't this just dandy: giving the op support for cheating and the ink isn't even dry on her marriage license! I've seen married men ripped a new one, verbally castrated, called every name under the sun, advised to go to Relate, the works. Not once have I seen "take care hun". Two faced hypocrites! Op, if sex with faceless strangers who only see you as attractive enough to empty their sacs makes you happy and not the poor sap you exchanged your vows with last week: welcome to Fab, fill your boots!" | |||
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"My, my, my, well isn't this just dandy: giving the op support for cheating and the ink isn't even dry on her marriage license! I've seen married men ripped a new one, verbally castrated, called every name under the sun, advised to go to Relate, the works. Not once have I seen "take care hun". Two faced hypocrites! Op, if sex with faceless strangers who only see you as attractive enough to empty their sacs makes you happy and not the poor sap you exchanged your vows with last week: welcome to Fab, fill your boots!" | |||
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"What a difference a vagina makes " Indeed. I got slated for suggesting an m in an mmf was an extra man. Can you Adam and Eve it? *sigh* | |||
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"My, my, my, well isn't this just dandy: giving the op support for cheating and the ink isn't even dry on her marriage license! I've seen married men ripped a new one, verbally castrated, called every name under the sun, advised to go to Relate, the works. Not once have I seen "take care hun". Two faced hypocrites! Op, if sex with faceless strangers who only see you as attractive enough to empty their sacs makes you happy and not the poor sap you exchanged your vows with last week: welcome to Fab, fill your boots!" | |||
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"What a difference a vagina makes " Very true, a bloke posting this would have been torn apart | |||
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"23 and bored already? My advice: 1 - Don't rush into any more MAJOR decisions. 2 - Don't treat your husband like a cunt. 3 - Become more self aware... starting with the word selfish. " | |||
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"It awful you should end this relationship or come clean, that is a stifled life for you and much much woorse for your oh." I just really could not disagree more... Nobody has the right to judge..especially here and on this subject... Love and sex.. Not the same and extremely individual and personal. | |||
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"My, my, my, well isn't this just dandy: giving the op support for cheating and the ink isn't even dry on her marriage license! I've seen married men ripped a new one, verbally castrated, called every name under the sun, advised to go to Relate, the works. Not once have I seen "take care hun". Two faced hypocrites! Op, if sex with faceless strangers who only see you as attractive enough to empty their sacs makes you happy and not the poor sap you exchanged your vows with last week: welcome to Fab, fill your boots!" I love how you tell it like it is!! However, reading back thro the thread the majority of us actually said much the same as you tho maybe not quite so forcefully The support, not surprisingly, came from those women who like the OP feel that it is ok to cheat on their partners as long as they take the necessary precautions not to get caught. | |||
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"What a difference a vagina makes Very true, a bloke posting this would have been torn apart" not by me... I have same standard f non judgement for everyone. | |||
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"Strange, that when the word 'married' pops up in a forum title, the same people come on to chastise the op. "May he without sin cast the first stone" " ..... And here comes that rubbish again, because that implies that all sins are the same Slight difference in the real world between lying over how many biscuits you had, and shagging behind the back of the person you profess to love more than any other! So many people playing away thinking that are bulletproof.... News flash... You're not!! You know what it would do to your partners and the consequences or you would have had this out with them already...... So you'll have to excuse me if I save my sympathy for the true innocent party | |||
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"I'm married-recently married and I'm bored. I was into swinging big time before we met and now I just want to get back to but secretly- he can never find out! I just want to feel attractive and that excitement again and man I miss what swinging and men did for my confidence. This is my observation and not intended to be judgemental but have just read this and cant help thinking how sad it is that if you are only recently married you already feel bored. Maybe you should be focusing on why and how to put it right and whether your marriage works before worrying about something so superficial as swinging? Sad too that it takes swinging to make you feel good about yourself which is how your message reads to me. Wish you all the best whatever you decide x " | |||
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"Strange, that when the word 'married' pops up in a forum title, the same people come on to chastise the op. "May he without sin cast the first stone" ..... And here comes that rubbish again, because that implies that all sins are the same Slight difference in the real world between lying over how many biscuits you had, and shagging behind the back of the person you profess to love more than any other! So many people playing away thinking that are bulletproof.... News flash... You're not!! You know what it would do to your partners and the consequences or you would have had this out with them already...... So you'll have to excuse me if I save my sympathy for the true innocent party " Knew you'd bite | |||
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"My, my, my, well isn't this just dandy: giving the op support for cheating and the ink isn't even dry on her marriage license! I've seen married men ripped a new one, verbally castrated, called every name under the sun, advised to go to Relate, the works. Not once have I seen "take care hun". Two faced hypocrites! Op, if sex with faceless strangers who only see you as attractive enough to empty their sacs makes you happy and not the poor sap you exchanged your vows with last week: welcome to Fab, fill your boots! I love how you tell it like it is!! However, reading back thro the thread the majority of us actually said much the same as you tho maybe not quite so forcefully The support, not surprisingly, came from those women who like the OP feel that it is ok to cheat on their partners as long as they take the necessary precautions not to get caught. " I know, it's the "take care hun, be safe" that annoyed me. I don't play with married men, not because they have wives but because they can't play how I want. I've had married men ask me to shower in their wives favourite soap etc so not to leave scent trail, not wear perfume or her perfume etc...in MY house. As if...I could care less about cheats. My point is the different manner in which the sexes are treated. Women: tea and sympathy, men: the gallows! | |||
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"Oh my my, this has really hit a nerve for some people. Think the OP wanted advice and not to be judged on the moral rights or wrongs and the sanctity of marriage etc. Its an individual choice, and will repeat to be careful when playing. I personally choose to play with those in a similar position, and its my choice. Just trying to keep to the original topic as opposed to preaching from the altar " Original post: "So how do I do this without my partner finding out and am I really a bad person cause I feel awful but I just don't think about in too much!" Yes the OP asked for advice but given her statement above she also asked what people thought about her feelings/intentions in my opinion. In an open forum people are entitled to express their thoughts and it is inevitable that some will be judgemental - I would argue that the OP's original post implied that she also judges herself - and believes that what she wants to do is wrong, why else would she have asked "am I a bad person". It is also inevitable that there will be people for whom a post like this hits a nerve, does that make them any less entitled to voice their opinion? | |||
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"Oh my my, this has really hit a nerve for some people. Think the OP wanted advice and not to be judged on the moral rights or wrongs and the sanctity of marriage etc. Its an individual choice, and will repeat to be careful when playing. I personally choose to play with those in a similar position, and its my choice. Just trying to keep to the original topic as opposed to preaching from the altar " Easy to be that "ballsy" behind a computer screen.... Bet you wouldn't be quite as brash when staring the consequences of your decision making eye to eye....... Bulletproof.... Oh but I am different.... It will never happen to me... Ect ect ect.. Pish,after nonsense, after anything that works to get let over... Right... Fair game? I don't treat anyone differently because of the gender, they are only thinking of themselves and yet the ink hasn't even dried yet.... You can turn around and say there there there.... But us living in the real world save our sympathy for those who truly deserve it | |||
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"Strange, that when the word 'married' pops up in a forum title, the same people come on to chastise the op. "May he without sin cast the first stone" " This is the 1st time I've ever criticised someone on a post like this so get your facts rights | |||
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"My, my, my, well isn't this just dandy: giving the op support for cheating and the ink isn't even dry on her marriage license! I've seen married men ripped a new one, verbally castrated, called every name under the sun, advised to go to Relate, the works. Not once have I seen "take care hun". Two faced hypocrites! Op, if sex with faceless strangers who only see you as attractive enough to empty their sacs makes you happy and not the poor sap you exchanged your vows with last week: welcome to Fab, fill your boots! I love how you tell it like it is!! However, reading back thro the thread the majority of us actually said much the same as you tho maybe not quite so forcefully The support, not surprisingly, came from those women who like the OP feel that it is ok to cheat on their partners as long as they take the necessary precautions not to get caught. I know, it's the "take care hun, be safe" that annoyed me. I don't play with married men, not because they have wives but because they can't play how I want. I've had married men ask me to shower in their wives favourite soap etc so not to leave scent trail, not wear perfume or her perfume etc...in MY house. As if...I could care less about cheats. My point is the different manner in which the sexes are treated. Women: tea and sympathy, men: the gallows!" And I absolutely agree with your point about "one rule for one sex ....." together with your reasons for not playing with attached men!! I always look forward to reading your contributions to the forums and very often agree with what you have to say, evident from my own posts on this particular thread, I just love how you express yourself .... and take no prisoners | |||
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"Strange, that when the word 'married' pops up in a forum title, the same people come on to chastise the op. "May he without sin cast the first stone" This is the 1st time I've ever criticised someone on a post like this so get your facts rights" Who said I was talking about you in particular. "Get your facts right" | |||
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"Oh my my, this has really hit a nerve for some people. Think the OP wanted advice and not to be judged on the moral rights or wrongs and the sanctity of marriage etc. " If that were the case then adding "and am I really a bad person" was a pretty stupid move. | |||
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"My, my, my, well isn't this just dandy: giving the op support for cheating and the ink isn't even dry on her marriage license! I've seen married men ripped a new one, verbally castrated, called every name under the sun, advised to go to Relate, the works. Not once have I seen "take care hun". Two faced hypocrites! Op, if sex with faceless strangers who only see you as attractive enough to empty their sacs makes you happy and not the poor sap you exchanged your vows with last week: welcome to Fab, fill your boots!" I'm with her on this one - succinctly put! | |||
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"My, my, my, well isn't this just dandy: giving the op support for cheating and the ink isn't even dry on her marriage license! I've seen married men ripped a new one, verbally castrated, called every name under the sun, advised to go to Relate, the works. Not once have I seen "take care hun". Two faced hypocrites! Op, if sex with faceless strangers who only see you as attractive enough to empty their sacs makes you happy and not the poor sap you exchanged your vows with last week: welcome to Fab, fill your boots! I love how you tell it like it is!! However, reading back thro the thread the majority of us actually said much the same as you tho maybe not quite so forcefully The support, not surprisingly, came from those women who like the OP feel that it is ok to cheat on their partners as long as they take the necessary precautions not to get caught. I know, it's the "take care hun, be safe" that annoyed me. I don't play with married men, not because they have wives but because they can't play how I want. I've had married men ask me to shower in their wives favourite soap etc so not to leave scent trail, not wear perfume or her perfume etc...in MY house. As if...I could care less about cheats. My point is the different manner in which the sexes are treated. Women: tea and sympathy, men: the gallows! And I absolutely agree with your point about "one rule for one sex ....." together with your reasons for not playing with attached men!! I always look forward to reading your contributions to the forums and very often agree with what you have to say, evident from my own posts on this particular thread, I just love how you express yourself .... and take no prisoners " Thank you...I think! | |||
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"Strange, that when the word 'married' pops up in a forum title, the same people come on to chastise the op. "May he without sin cast the first stone" This is the 1st time I've ever criticised someone on a post like this so get your facts rights Who said I was talking about you in particular. "Get your facts right" " As one of the regular forumites I assumed I came under that umbrella... May be more specific next time | |||
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"Walks in, shakes head at the hypocrisy on how differently an attached woman is being treated compared to an attached man; walks out. " | |||
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"Walks in, shakes head at the hypocrisy on how differently an attached woman is being treated compared to an attached man; walks out. " | |||
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"Strange, that when the word 'married' pops up in a forum title, the same people come on to chastise the op. "May he without sin cast the first stone" This is the 1st time I've ever criticised someone on a post like this so get your facts rights Who said I was talking about you in particular. "Get your facts right" " So do you not see a difference in the scale of sins then, or are they all the same to you? Genuine question.....Or were you just spouting nonsense for the sake of nonsense....... So does lying over eating 2 biscuits instead of 1 actually equal sleeping with someone behind the back of the person they profess to love more than any other? | |||
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"If this had been a married man asking the question.... The answers would be completely different, and the guy would hung drawn and quartered. Why don't you talk to your new husband about how you feel and see if he wants to join in? Then you haven't got to creep around behind his back and risk him finding out and getting hurt? If he doesn't want to join in, maybe you should have a serious talk with him and tell him how you feel? " | |||
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"Strange, that when the word 'married' pops up in a forum title, the same people come on to chastise the op. "May he without sin cast the first stone" This is the 1st time I've ever criticised someone on a post like this so get your facts rights Who said I was talking about you in particular. "Get your facts right" So do you not see a difference in the scale of sins then, or are they all the same to you? Genuine question.....Or were you just spouting nonsense for the sake of nonsense....... So does lying over eating 2 biscuits instead of 1 actually equal sleeping with someone behind the back of the person they profess to love more than any other? " If eating too many biscuits is your idea of a sin, you should apply to become the next pope. I don't agree with the ops position, but that's for her to deal with. She asked for advice not chastising, so why do it. | |||
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"If this had been a married man asking the question.... The answers would be completely different, and the guy would hung drawn and quartered. " | |||
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"Strange, that when the word 'married' pops up in a forum title, the same people come on to chastise the op. "May he without sin cast the first stone" This is the 1st time I've ever criticised someone on a post like this so get your facts rights Who said I was talking about you in particular. "Get your facts right" So do you not see a difference in the scale of sins then, or are they all the same to you? Genuine question.....Or were you just spouting nonsense for the sake of nonsense....... So does lying over eating 2 biscuits instead of 1 actually equal sleeping with someone behind the back of the person they profess to love more than any other? If eating too many biscuits is your idea of a sin, you should apply to become the next pope. I don't agree with the ops position, but that's for her to deal with. She asked for advice not chastising, so why do it." Let's hope if and when you marry or are in a relationship your partner doesn't cheat on you... I know from experience and its not nice... | |||
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"Strange, that when the word 'married' pops up in a forum title, the same people come on to chastise the op. "May he without sin cast the first stone" This is the 1st time I've ever criticised someone on a post like this so get your facts rights Who said I was talking about you in particular. "Get your facts right" So do you not see a difference in the scale of sins then, or are they all the same to you? Genuine question.....Or were you just spouting nonsense for the sake of nonsense....... So does lying over eating 2 biscuits instead of 1 actually equal sleeping with someone behind the back of the person they profess to love more than any other? If eating too many biscuits is your idea of a sin, you should apply to become the next pope. I don't agree with the ops position, but that's for her to deal with. She asked for advice not chastising, so why do it. Let's hope if and when you marry or are in a relationship your partner doesn't cheat on you... I know from experience and its not nice..." Sorry to hear, but as I said my original comment wasn't aimed at you. | |||
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"This post so saddens me . My wife had a affair after 24 years of been married and left me . And now we have a lady who has recently been married asking how she can cheat on her husband without him knowing . Or am i just been bitter lol " Not at all!! I totally agree. X | |||
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"This post so saddens me . My wife had a affair after 24 years of been married and left me . And now we have a lady who has recently been married asking how she can cheat on her husband without him knowing . Or am i just been bitter lol " I agree with you so wrong of her I feel sorry for her new husband | |||
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"No no NO! This is deceit! I WISH people here would stop condoning cheating. This is the swinging community, not the adultery community! How many liars and selfish people are messing other people around here? OP: Talk to him or LEAVE him. Don't have sex with loads of people behind his back then get back into bed with him. It's cruel and plain wrong. " Well said At the risk of sounding naïve if you were both in to the scene before did you not discuss what marrying would mean for your relationship...? Was it a conscious decision to stop, why not discuss this with your husband. | |||
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"Strange, that when the word 'married' pops up in a forum title, the same people come on to chastise the op. "May he without sin cast the first stone" ..... And here comes that rubbish again, because that implies that all sins are the same Slight difference in the real world between lying over how many biscuits you had, and shagging behind the back of the person you profess to love more than any other! So many people playing away thinking that are bulletproof.... News flash... You're not!! You know what it would do to your partners and the consequences or you would have had this out with them already...... So you'll have to excuse me if I save my sympathy for the true innocent party " | |||
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"You met in the swinging scene yet you can't talk to him about getting back into swinging...It all smells a bit fishy to me.. " We agree! | |||
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"We all have different principles and should we make judgements on others? The way people behave in their marriage be it after one wueek or forty years is their affair. All marriages have periods of doubt and secrets, it's about how the couple concerned cope with it. It is not about what others think. Having said that it does not mean other people should ignore that fact and , if they do not wish to be involved with people playing away,that is their choice. I don't mix with people who have different principles than me but I don't criticise them either. Wow sounds like a lecture" Maybe if it ever happens too you mate you will feel different .. Just saying | |||
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"23 and bored already? My advice: 1 - Don't rush into any more MAJOR decisions. 2 - Don't treat your husband like a cunt. 3 - Become more self aware... starting with the word selfish. " | |||
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"We all have different principles and should we make judgements on others? The way people behave in their marriage be it after one week or forty years is their affair. All marriages have periods of doubt and secrets, it's about how the couple concerned cope with it. It is not about what others think. Having said that it does not mean other people should ignore that fact and , if they do not wish to be involved with people playing away,that is their choice. I don't mix with people who have different principles than me but I don't criticise them either. Wow sounds like a lecture" But... if people don't want others to talk about them they shouldn't mention their situation. | |||
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"I was a cheat, and regret having hurt my ex-hubby to this day, and do not wish to be labelled a home-breaker ever again. All may be well if the other party does not find out, however, based on personal experience, the truth eventually comes out, as I could not look at myself in the mirror for lying to my ex-hubby for 3 months, and had to come clean about my affair. " I was a cheat, as was my ex fiancée. Neither of us came out of it well and it was a painful process. Now i am with a wonderful woman who knows about and actively encourages my meeting with men as she likes to watch when she can, however i always ask her permission and never break her rules. Going behind someone's back never ends well. | |||
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"I'm married-recently married and I'm bored. I was into swinging big time before we met and now I just want to get back to but secretly- he can never find out! I just want to feel attractive and that excitement again and man I miss what swinging and men did for my confidence. Or nt gt got married This is my observation and not intended to be judgemental but have just read this and cant help thinking how sad it is that if you are only recently married you already feel bored. Maybe you should be focusing on why and how to put it right and whether your marriage works before worrying about something so superficial as swinging? Sad too that it takes swinging to make you feel good about yourself which is how your message reads to me. Wish you all the best whatever you decide x " | |||
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"the righteous police out in droves.. must be good to be that good.. hang on.. it's a swinging site !!..." Just because its a swinging site doesn't mean the people are all cheats and liers and enem though I'm on a swinging site I have and never would cheated on anyone and I try to never knowingly play with attached people. Trust is the 1st and most important rule in swinging so if anything cheating us frowned upon more in this lifestyle then real world | |||
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"I'm married-recently married and I'm bored. I was into swinging big time before we met and now I just want to get back to but secretly- he can never find out! I just want to feel attractive and that excitement again and man I miss what swinging and men did for my confidence. So how do I do this without my partner finding out and am I really a bad person cause I feel awful but I just don't think about in too much!" sorry but that is wrong u shouldnt have got married a cheat is a cheat and i hope he finds out and leaves u | |||
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"the righteous police out in droves.. must be good to be that good.. hang on.. it's a swinging site !!... Just because its a swinging site doesn't mean the people are all cheats and liers and enem though I'm on a swinging site I have and never would cheated on anyone and I try to never knowingly play with attached people. Trust is the 1st and most important rule in swinging so if anything cheating us frowned upon more in this lifestyle then real world " | |||
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"the righteous police out in droves.. must be good to be that good.. hang on.. it's a swinging site !!..." Swinging yes. Cheating. Lying. No!! | |||
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"the righteous police out in droves.. must be good to be that good.. hang on.. it's a swinging site !!..." No one searched the ops profile and started a thread on it. She saw fit to share on an *open* forum her boredom in her recent marriage. People will have varying views when you ask for opinion: which she did. How you see it as being righteous is beyond me. | |||
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"It awful you should end this relationship or come clean, that is a stifled life for you and much much woorse for your oh." Sensible words | |||
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"the righteous police out in droves.. must be good to be that good.. hang on.. it's a swinging site !!... No one searched the ops profile and started a thread on it. She saw fit to share on an *open* forum her boredom in her recent marriage. People will have varying views when you ask for opinion: which she did. How you see it as being righteous is beyond me. " | |||
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"If this had been a married man asking the question.... The answers would be completely different, and the guy would hung drawn and quartered. " I couldn't have put it better myself. It is quite interesting how the OP is getting such empathetic and non-judgemental responses but do a quick search on the same topic started by a bloke and see the sort of vitriol you'll get. That said, I appreciate the OP's dilemma and she should do whatever works for her. Fidelity is a concept that an overwhelming number of married people have failed woefully in adopting and for many it is not for lack of trying. It is the single most cited cause for divorces & also the cause of great misery and unhappiness for many who feel trapped in a marriage where they haven't got the opportunity to look elsewhere. Providing a situation where there is a certainty that their partners can never find out, 89% of married people in a recent study said they will have sex outside their marriage at least once. A baffling statistic and if this doesn't show that fidelity is an unnatural state for humans to exist in, I don't know what else is. But for now, while society haven't escaped the fidelity concept yet, we will just have to deal with it individually in the best way we find works. | |||
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" Trust is the 1st and most important rule in swinging " Also trust is teh first and most important rule of marriage or any long term partnership | |||
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"the righteous police out in droves.. must be good to be that good.. hang on.. it's a swinging site !!..." . It is only righteous to those who do not face up to their responsibilities for their actions, IMHO. | |||
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"I'm married-recently married and I'm bored. I was into swinging big time before we met and now I just want to get back to but secretly- he can never find out! I just want to feel attractive and that excitement again and man I miss what swinging and men did for my confidence. So how do I do this without my partner finding out and am I really a bad person cause I feel awful but I just don't think about in too much!" It doesn't matter how you met if you can't be truthful and need other men to shore up your self esteem you're in the wrong place. If you were a man posting this you'd have been hung out to dry by now. | |||
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"the righteous police out in droves.. must be good to be that good.. hang on.. it's a swinging site !!..." Yes, exactly - a swinging site - not a CHEATING site. Funny how the only people supporting the OP are married and cheating themselves. Stop trying to kid yourselves that you're swinging, you're not. There are websites for people like you and this isn't it! *Her* | |||
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"the righteous police out in droves.. must be good to be that good.. hang on.. it's a swinging site !!..." The OP posted and asked for opinions To which they have received opinions. The OP even asked herself if she was doing the right thing as she felt guilty Yes it's a swinging site, it's not a cheating site! Just because we are on a swinging site doesn't mean that we have no morals | |||
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"How about.....don't cheat. Revolutionary concept i know " I tried.. actually couldn't not do. | |||
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"No no NO! This is deceit! I WISH people here would stop condoning cheating. This is the swinging community, not the adultery community! How many liars and selfish people are messing other people around here? OP: Talk to him or LEAVE him. Don't have sex with loads of people behind his back then get back into bed with him. It's cruel and plain wrong. " so true!!! | |||
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"How about.....don't cheat. Revolutionary concept i know " Tsk!!! Oh you and your outmoded ideas. | |||
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"the point i was making was... i thought the married people had agreed to forsake all others.. whether or not the other person knows isnt what the vows are about.. your just one (possibly more.. you judge !!!) steps from her position... glass houses etc..." As a married men happy to fuck other men wives whilst yours is sat at home, I wouldn't expect anything less from you! | |||
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"the point i was making was... i thought the married people had agreed to forsake all others.. whether or not the other person knows isnt what the vows are about.. your just one (possibly more.. you judge !!!) steps from her position... glass houses etc..." Only if we married in church. Deceit and betrayal of trust are the polar opposites of what makes a good relationship and forsaking all others means emotionally. | |||
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"So presumably you're doing this because you want to feel attractive and boost your confidence whilst getting some excitement... I shall say it once again, there's nothing more off putting than a woman with low self esteem and they are the majority on here #whataloadofshit" I don't know who you guys have met but the people we have met either for play or social have been very confident. We find it's the ladies that take the lead. No low self esteem in our experience. Dave | |||
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"the righteous police out in droves.. must be good to be that good.. hang on.. it's a swinging site !!..." Exactly ! A SWINGING site, not a married but cheating site. There are plenty of those on the internet, I have just looked. N | |||
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"So presumably you're doing this because you want to feel attractive and boost your confidence whilst getting some excitement... I shall say it once again, there's nothing more off putting than a woman with low self esteem and they are the majority on here #whataloadofshit I don't know who you guys have met but the people we have met either for play or social have been very confident. We find it's the ladies that take the lead. No low self esteem in our experience. Dave" To be fair, I've lost count of the cringe inducing posts from women saying they lacked confidence, felt men only met them because they couldn't get better, how they searched verifications to see the type of women they played with and if they were slim or attractive they didn't meet them. There are a lot of women with issues here! | |||
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"the point i was making was... i thought the married people had agreed to forsake all others.. whether or not the other person knows isnt what the vows are about.. your just one (possibly more.. you judge !!!) steps from her position... glass houses etc..." I believe that vow is only in a Religious wedding ceremony, not everyone gets married in church, so that makes you point invalid N | |||
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"How about.....don't cheat. Revolutionary concept i know I tried.. actually couldn't not do. " I'm sure you were faithful between meets though | |||
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"As marriage started out as a religious ceremony, anything else doesn't really count. Signing a piece of paper and declaring your love to a government official isn't quite the same. " Wrong Wrong Wrong!!!! The way I read your post implies that any marriage not taking place in a church is not a valid and real marriage. I may have got the wrong end of the stick here and misinterpreted your post and if that is the case then I apologise. I find the statement you made highly offensive. Just because my husband and I chose not to be hypocrites and marry in a building of a religion tha we have no belief in does not make our marriage any less real or valid | |||
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"As marriage started out as a religious ceremony, anything else doesn't really count. Signing a piece of paper and declaring your love to a government official isn't quite the same. " Oh dear | |||
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"the righteous police out in droves.. must be good to be that good.. hang on.. it's a swinging site !!... Exactly ! A SWINGING site, not a married but cheating site. There are plenty of those on the internet, I have just looked. N" Have you ever been on any of these married but cheating sites though because they are no where near as good as this one. | |||
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"As marriage started out as a religious ceremony, anything else doesn't really count. Signing a piece of paper and declaring your love to a government official isn't quite the same. " I got married in a Mosque but this was not recognised as a marriage. I had to get married by a registrar for that. Oh, and I'm not a believer. Does that not count then? | |||
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"As marriage started out as a religious ceremony, anything else doesn't really count. Signing a piece of paper and declaring your love to a government official isn't quite the same. I got married in a Mosque but this was not recognised as a marriage. I had to get married by a registrar for that. Oh, and I'm not a believer. Does that not count then?" In the eyes of the mosque and it's followers you are married, but in law you have to sign a piece of paper in order to become 'legally married' and that's usually for tax reasons. But as a non believer, hmmmm and someone earlier said I was a "hypocrite" | |||
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"As marriage started out as a religious ceremony, anything else doesn't really count. Signing a piece of paper and declaring your love to a government official isn't quite the same. Wrong Wrong Wrong!!!! The way I read your post implies that any marriage not taking place in a church is not a valid and real marriage. I may have got the wrong end of the stick here and misinterpreted your post and if that is the case then I apologise. I find the statement you made highly offensive. Just because my husband and I chose not to be hypocrites and marry in a building of a religion tha we have no belief in does not make our marriage any less real or valid " But you're on here as a single person, even though marriage is about staying faithful to your partner. Even if a partner gives permission to their oh to swing, they may only be doing it because they're afraid of losing them and secretly wish they didn't. | |||
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" Wrong Wrong Wrong!!!! The way I read your post implies that any marriage not taking place in a church is not a valid and real marriage. I may have got the wrong end of the stick here and misinterpreted your post and if that is the case then I apologise. I find the statement you made highly offensive. Just because my husband and I chose not to be hypocrites and marry in a building of a religion tha we have no belief in does not make our marriage any less real or valid " | |||
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"the righteous police out in droves.. must be good to be that good.. hang on.. it's a swinging site !!... Exactly ! A SWINGING site, not a married but cheating site. There are plenty of those on the internet, I have just looked. N Have you ever been on any of these married but cheating sites though because they are no where near as good as this one." This one is very hard work indeed for married men, like me. I have been trying for days to find a meet in the next few days. As has been said before, people seem not to mind if its a married woman meeting alone. | |||
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"I'm married-recently married and I'm bored. I was into swinging big time before we met and now I just want to get back to but secretly- he can never find out! I just want to feel attractive and that excitement again and man I miss what swinging and men did for my confidence. So how do I do this without my partner finding out and am I really a bad person cause I feel awful but I just don't think about in too much!" And you would be happy for your husband to be doing the same of course? Recently married but not compatible, you thought a lot about marriage didn't you? If you loved swinging so much why enter into a non swinging relationship or do you enjoy living a lie and it has become a buzz for you to be getting away with it? You've obviously married the wrong person as you're not compatible, some people deserve a std | |||
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"I'm married-recently married and I'm bored. I was into swinging big time before we met and now I just want to get back to but secretly- he can never find out! I just want to feel attractive and that excitement again and man I miss what swinging and men did for my confidence. So how do I do this without my partner finding out and am I really a bad person cause I feel awful but I just don't think about in too much!" I think its really sad that so soon after marriage your feeling this way | |||
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"But you're on here as a single person, even though marriage is about staying faithful to your partner. Even if a partner gives permission to their oh to swing, they may only be doing it because they're afraid of losing them and secretly wish they didn't." Yes I'm on here as a single person and will remain so until the site gives me the option of having my status as attached. Marriage is more than just being faithful. What about communication, love, respect, honesty and trust? In my marriage these are the most important things. If being faithful were the most important thing in a marriage there would be no such thing as swinging and we wouldn't be here having this conversation. | |||
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"This post is so wrong on so many levels ..Why marry the guy in the 1st place x " Oddly enough I have often seen on my looked at list, 20 odd year old's with a single male profile and their status as married but bored, so works in the reverse and yes is wrong on so many levels, why marry someone you obviously don't love | |||
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"The Op is being rather quiet don't you think?" Its Sunday so I suspect she is out having a nice family day have thrown a hand grenade into the wolves knowing what would happen | |||
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"So presumably you're doing this because you want to feel attractive and boost your confidence whilst getting some excitement... I shall say it once again, there's nothing more off putting than a woman with low self esteem and they are the majority on here #whataloadofshit I don't know who you guys have met but the people we have met either for play or social have been very confident. We find it's the ladies that take the lead. No low self esteem in our experience. Dave To be fair, I've lost count of the cringe inducing posts from women saying they lacked confidence, felt men only met them because they couldn't get better, how they searched verifications to see the type of women they played with and if they were slim or attractive they didn't meet them. There are a lot of women with issues here!" i have noticed an awful lot of women on here have low self esteem, i thought on a swinging site it would be the other way round. | |||
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"If you want to sleep around but hubby cannot be involved and you have to keep it secret then you should be single. I see no future for a marriage based on dishonesty." Well said, my thoughts exactly. If a married bloke had posted this he would have been torn to shreds. | |||
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"If this had been a married man asking the question.... The answers would be completely different, and the guy would hung drawn and quartered. Why don't you talk to your new husband about how you feel and see if he wants to join in? Then you haven't got to creep around behind his back and risk him finding out and getting hurt? If he doesn't want to join in, maybe you should have a serious talk with him and tell him how you feel? " Was sat here thinking the same | |||
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"My, my, my, well isn't this just dandy: giving the op support for cheating and the ink isn't even dry on her marriage license! I've seen married men ripped a new one, verbally castrated, called every name under the sun, advised to go to Relate, the works. Not once have I seen "take care hun". Two faced hypocrites! Op, if sex with faceless strangers who only see you as attractive enough to empty their sacs makes you happy and not the poor sap you exchanged your vows with last week: welcome to Fab, fill your boots!" Indeed. | |||
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"hun im the same and i know what u mean if u want it go get it i love cheating" if I said that I'd be torn a new one. | |||
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"What a difference a vagina makes " Pmsl and oh so true ! | |||
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"I'm married-recently married and I'm bored. I was into swinging big time before we met and now I just want to get back to but secretly- he can never find out! I just want to feel attractive and that excitement again and man I miss what swinging and men did for my confidence. So how do I do this without my partner finding out and am I really a bad person cause I feel awful but I just don't think about in too much!" Do what you want, your in charge of your life and your the only one in your situation, lots of opinions here to read etc but your grown up, make your own mind up and don't care what others think x | |||
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"hun im the same and i know what u mean if u want it go get it i love cheating" You obviously have no morals or a heart if you openly admit that you love cheating. I've heard some disturbing things said on here but that has got to be the worst. You seem like a selfish sadistic person | |||
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"hun im the same and i know what u mean if u want it go get it i love cheating You obviously have no morals or a heart if you openly admit that you love cheating. I've heard some disturbing things said on here but that has got to be the worst. You seem like a selfish sadistic person" You know an inate emotional detachment is a key feature of a psychopath. Real human beings form real relationships with people based on love and trust, if you are willing to stamp all over that bond then you have some sort of deep rooted issues you need to address, both to the OP and this odd woman you quoted. | |||
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"Hi-I'm a legitimately single male who would be pleased to meet a woman regardless of her status/life outside of here. It's none of my business and I'm not here to judge anyone. I'm concerned so many people here have so much time to judge others-yikes! " So you don't mind being a part of the reason why a family possibly with children could be ripped apart. | |||
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"hun im the same and i know what u mean if u want it go get it i love cheating You obviously have no morals or a heart if you openly admit that you love cheating. I've heard some disturbing things said on here but that has got to be the worst. You seem like a selfish sadistic person You know an inate emotional detachment is a key feature of a psychopath. Real human beings form real relationships with people based on love and trust, if you are willing to stamp all over that bond then you have some sort of deep rooted issues you need to address, both to the OP and this odd woman you quoted. " | |||
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"the point i was making was... i thought the married people had agreed to forsake all others.. whether or not the other person knows isnt what the vows are about.. your just one (possibly more.. you judge !!!) steps from her position... glass houses etc..." Couldnt have put it better myself. | |||
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"I'm married-recently married and I'm bored. I was into swinging big time before we met and now I just want to get back to but secretly- he can never find out! I just want to feel attractive and that excitement again and man I miss what swinging and men did for my confidence. So how do I do this without my partner finding out and am I really a bad person cause I feel awful but I just don't think about in too much!" Too many ppl in glass houses throwing stones on here. Have fun , stay safe ... You know what you want... Don't let others judge you x | |||
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"Judging by the fact you are here, have friends and verified you already know what to do. As previously mentioned if it were the male part he would have been hung drawn and quartered... You go on to say you love him and are happy...so if you are commit to him and your marriage and get off here... That is just my thought..." Have to agree.. if it was a guy the posts would have been completely different and he would be well and truely hung by now.. (and not in that way lol). I have to say i am shocked by the responses. Surely this is the same as if a guy was cheating...except guys don't worry about the woman they are meeting going behind her hubbs back like women feel about men going behind wifes back. The worst part is that op is only recently married and feels like this. | |||
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"hun im the same and i know what u mean if u want it go get it i love cheating" Good for you. | |||
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"Hi-I'm a legitimately single male who would be pleased to meet a woman regardless of her status/life outside of here. It's none of my business and I'm not here to judge anyone. I'm concerned so many people here have so much time to judge others-yikes! " Erm...you did read the op right? You know, the bit where she invited comments? None of us would have been privvy to her private life if she'd not felt the need to share. Oh...look up irony! | |||
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"I'm married-recently married and I'm bored. I was into swinging big time before we met and now I just want to get back to but secretly- he can never find out! I just want to feel attractive and that excitement again and man I miss what swinging and men did for my confidence. So how do I do this without my partner finding out and am I really a bad person cause I feel awful but I just don't think about in too much! Too many ppl in glass houses throwing stones on here. Have fun , stay safe ... You know what you want... Don't let others judge you x " Yeah, like we're all still brushing wedding cake crumbs off our wedding dress and confetti out of our hair to log on to Fab and the charming men on here who will tell us how beautiful we are...until they cum! Nursery run, shopping in Tesco, paying the council tax are all fantasy, fucking strangers, yep that's real life! | |||
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"the righteous police out in droves.. must be good to be that good.. hang on.. it's a swinging site !!... Exactly ! A SWINGING site, not a married but cheating site. There are plenty of those on the internet, I have just looked. N Have you ever been on any of these married but cheating sites though because they are no where near as good as this one." No I never have. I am a swinger not a cheater, two very different things in my eyes N | |||
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"Everyone is entitled to make there own choices and make up there own minds xx" Unless you are the OP's husband who can't make up his mind to kick her out because he doesn't know she's fucking around behind his back | |||
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