FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Am I a time waster?
Am I a time waster?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you genuinely mean to meet then I don't think you are a time waster per se.
HOWEVER, being that disorganised and forgetful is really not fair on the other party who often have had themselves to make extensive arrangements to meet YOU.
People are usually fairly considerate and innately polite and once plans have been agreed do not wish to be seen to be pestering or desperate by texting " are we still on for Sunday on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, on Saturday maybe.
I'd buy a diary if I where you and make notes ! |
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Why arrange a day to meet if you're going to forget about it...
Are you contacting them during the week between arranging to mee and the day of the meet... If yes and they're not responding fair enough to assume they've changed their mind.
If you're not keeping in touch with them during that time, why should they keep in touch with you???
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?! "
i get what u mean..as happens to me! i tell a guy when i free..then nothing! yet they say free etc..then i either get message on same day or even day after.
i find if cant meet straight away many forget and look elswhere even if u have given a date when free and i told them to let me know if they free also! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Cuz i arrange to meet quite a few guys for socials only. As i said they usually have to wait over a week. Most of them i won't hear from again. Its very strange. So yes i won't make an effort to note down a meeting unless i hear from them again. And they night before is way too late in my option. |
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"Cuz i arrange to meet quite a few guys for socials only. As i said they usually have to wait over a week. Most of them i won't hear from again. Its very strange. So yes i won't make an effort to note down a meeting unless i hear from them again. And they night before is way too late in my option. "
So, when you've arranged to meet a guy in a week.... what effort do you make to keep in touch with them during this week? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need to tell them that if they don't keep in touch before the date you've agreed then you will make other arrangements,not telling them makes you look like a timewaster yes |
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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago
Northamptonshire |
Have you been contacting them and getting no reply?
They may not want to be seen as pestering you and looking desperate and needy by messaging you every day.
After we have arranged to meet we often don't chat with them every day, just a message the day before - are we still ok for tomorrow kind of thing.
TBH if we arranged to meet someone and they 'forgot' I wouldn't be too impressed and the timewaster label would spring to mind, would give them another chance though, just the one.
N |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?! "
if you're inconsiderate enough to make other arrangements when you have already committed to meeting someone else, I'd say yeah-you pretty much are...j |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You need to tell them that if they don't keep in touch before the date you've agreed then you will make other arrangements,not telling them makes you look like a timewaster yes"
That's a good idea. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?! "
If you arranging meets and you forget about it then yes you are wasting peoples time.
If we arrange meets we don't need them to be in contact every day until it happens, but we do remember we are meeting someone. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?!
if you're inconsiderate enough to make other arrangements when you have already committed to meeting someone else, I'd say yeah-you pretty much are...j "
But i done see as being committeed to that meet until its confirmed. I wouldn't turn up to someone house just on a conversion we had over week ago. And yes i will make other plans if i don't hear from them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends what you have said during conversation. If you say to them I'm free next saturday evening then it is bad of you to forget. If you say that you maybe free next sat evening, then there is still some emphysis on you contacting them as to say whether it is definate or not as you are the one who is unsure..
If as you say you don't have much time to meet, then surely you can't be arranging many poosibilites and you should be checking whether you can or can't meet as soon as you can and then once you know its down to you to confirm it aswell.. Especially if the other person has already said they are def free that day.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?!
if you're inconsiderate enough to make other arrangements when you have already committed to meeting someone else, I'd say yeah-you pretty much are...j
But i done see as being committeed to that meet until its confirmed. I wouldn't turn up to someone house just on a conversion we had over week ago. And yes i will make other plans if
i don't hear from them."
If you've arranged a time and a place to meet then that is commitment...and even with a hectic life how on earth do you 'forget'? I don't chase guys but I do check they're still planning on turning up!
So if a guy did this to me yes I would consider him a timewaster...one strike and block! |
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?! "
happened to me befor and totally agree with this comment ..  |
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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago
Northamptonshire |
"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?!
if you're inconsiderate enough to make other arrangements when you have already committed to meeting someone else, I'd say yeah-you pretty much are...j
But i done see as being committeed to that meet until its confirmed. I wouldn't turn up to someone house just on a conversion we had over week ago. And yes i will make other plans if
i don't hear from them.
If you've arranged a time and a place to meet then that is commitment...and even with a hectic life how on earth do you 'forget'? I don't chase guys but I do check they're still planning on turning up!
So if a guy did this to me yes I would consider him a timewaster...one strike and block!"
This
If your conversation is I have next Saturday night free are you interested?
Yes I may be. - Then it isn't a confirmed date.
If it is - Lets meet Saturday at 8pm at xyz.
OK see you there.
That is a confirmed date.
N |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I talk to many guys and I have only met with nicest, funniest, most persistent of them. I suppose I might be considered a time waster to some. "
Im the same.....i want to be wooed and chased a bit and mad to laugh....not, will see u next fri and then f... all.......
Its a mating game after all....we are mammals and its part of nature |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I wonder why all the guys who don't think i am are messaging me privately. Mmmmmmm could there be a reason for that. Hahaha thanks guys even if you're just trying to get into my knickers Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I talk to many guys and I have only met with nicest, funniest, most persistent of them. I suppose I might be considered a time waster to some.
Im the same.....i want to be wooed and chased a bit and mad to laugh....not, will see u next fri and then f... all.......
Its a mating game after all....we are mammals and its part of nature "
Xxx Im glad someone gets it. |
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it's rude to agree to meet someone then forget or not go because they haven't contacted you. If I accept an invitation to a dinner party I go whether I hear from my host in the week leading up to it or not.
It might be a mating game but it is also no strings attached you can't have it all ways. |
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I've arranged a meet. Some people were excellent and messaged back asap to say they couldn't make it. One guy has said yes and I think he's a def. Another guy says yes but seems to be coming up with really stupid excuses like 'it's too far to walk and he's scared of walking on his own' This is for a 10 min walk. He's on his warning. |
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"it's rude to agree to meet someone then forget or not go because they haven't contacted you. If I accept an invitation to a dinner party I go whether I hear from my host in the week leading up to it or not.
It might be a mating game but it is also no strings attached you can't have it all ways."
Again...this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?! "
No, you're not a timewaster. It sounds as though the guys you've arranged meets with just can't be bothered to commit, and I'm amazed that they haven't got in touch about the Meet that you've wanted with them. Ignore them, and just go with the guys who do want to be with you. You are stunningly pretty, and you won't have any problems getting meets with interested guys  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"it's rude to agree to meet someone then forget or not go because they haven't contacted you. If I accept an invitation to a dinner party I go whether I hear from my host in the week leading up to it or not.
It might be a mating game but it is also no strings attached you can't have it all ways.
Again...this!"
How is that the same? Seriously if someone didn't text to confirm you just turn up to the pub and wait? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?! No, you're not a timewaster. It sounds as though the guys you've arranged meets with just can't be bothered to commit, and I'm amazed that they haven't got in touch about the Meet that you've wanted with them. Ignore them, and just go with the guys who do want to be with you. You are stunningly pretty, and you won't have any problems getting meets with interested guys "
Awww thanks. Xxx |
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If I agree to meet someone a week in advance I wouldn't expect them to do all the chasing and me not to have to bother in the run up. This applies on here and with friends and family. It's a 50/50 thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?! "
I don't think that your a time waster. They atleast need to be in touch, so that you know they are interested. They can't just think that you will be there waiting for them and just drop this on to you like a night before. Just ignore it. And keep swinging lol xx |
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?! "
My POV is that there's a fine line between being interested and being obsessed. While I can understand where you are coming from, as it takes less than a minute to type "hello, how are you tonight?" There can be reasons why they don't.... such as low credit on a PAYG mobile. |
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By *quirrelMan
over a year ago
East Manchester |
Looking at the way you organise your social life which seems a bit hit/miss it seems you are wasting other peoples time, because after you chat with and arranging a meet with others despite their reorganising their social life to include you it doesnt happen because you forgot.
By not making some provision for reminding yourself about the agreed meet, and, expect the guy to check again before the meet without being told to, because if he doesn't because of his hectic life and he contacts you the day before and then you cancel because you have make other plans then put the blame on him you are being grossly unfair.
What you are doing is muddling through and expecting others to make allowances for your lack of organisation.
If you make an appointment with any service provider would you expect them to need a daily confirmation phone call to ensure that you/they were going to turn up? or would you expect one call to arrange the appontment to be enough? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dont know about being a time waster but if I was the one you had arranged something with and then 'forgot' have to say Id be pretty pissed off..."
I'd be pretty pissed off too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be totally honest here if we arranged to meet someone then take the time to double check a day before and they change their mind they have wasted our time as we have children and other commitments that need to be sorted so we can meet. If you have arranged to meet you have given the go ahead for a meet unless its for a valid reason you should not cancel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would regard you as a time waster to be honest. If you KNOW you have to make arrangements a week ahead, then the onus is on you to keep in touch - not the other way around.
I also have a commitments which come before swinging meets, but I am able to run my diary and still keep to arrangements to meet which only need a confirm message the day before. I know of a number of other members on here who quiet easily do the same.
I think you need to decide what you are here for - chat or meets? If you are here for both in equal measure, then you need to apply the same level of attention to both. And always remember the guys you arrange meets with have REAL lives too and, like everyone else, those have to come first..
ted. |
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?! "
Submissive?!! Hmmmm...
The onus is on both parties. Do you contact them? Perhaps they don't want to bombard you? Sorry, you sound high maintenance to me and who wants that for nsa? |
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"I bet if a guy had posted the same thing he would have been labeled a time waster no ifs or buts. Just my opinion. "
Absolutely... he'd have had so much stick he'd more than likely be "user no longer on site" by now  |
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"I bet if a guy had posted the same thing he would have been labeled a time waster no ifs or buts. Just my opinion. "
Yeah and it's mostly the guys that are saying its fine. And sending pm's too. Bet if they were the ones that got let down a day before they'd be pissed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?!
If you arranging meets and you forget about it then yes you are wasting peoples time.
If we arrange meets we don't need them to be in contact every day until it happens, but we do remember we are meeting someone."
Ruby and I arranged a meet with a couple last year at about two weeks notice. After less than a week we cancelled it as the 'crescendo' of messages, phone calls etc (many d*unk and too flippin late at night!) got too much for either of us to stomach.
Yes, by all means stay in touch, but just because we're going to meet FOR SEX does not mean we wish you to become a fully integrated part of our existence!!!! 
ted. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?!
Submissive?!! Hmmmm...
The onus is on both parties. Do you contact them? Perhaps they don't want to bombard you? Sorry, you sound high maintenance to me and who wants that for nsa? "
Who say i was looking for nsa?! Im looking for a regular play mate. |
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"it's rude to agree to meet someone then forget or not go because they haven't contacted you. If I accept an invitation to a dinner party I go whether I hear from my host in the week leading up to it or not.
It might be a mating game but it is also no strings attached you can't have it all ways.
Again...this!
How is that the same? Seriously if someone didn't text to confirm you just turn up to the pub and wait? "
They did text you...the night before. Try and keep up, you seem to be missing the point of your own post.
Or did you "forget" that as well? |
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" How is that the same? Seriously if someone didn't text to confirm you just turn up to the pub and wait? "
No, because texts and messages work both ways. What's to stop you from sending a midweek message saying 'are you still interested as I've not heard from you', then you will find out and also may make them realise you want more contact. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who say i was looking for nsa?! Im looking for a regular play mate. "
Really? May I suggest you post a profile critique request on that basis and see what feedback you get.....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?!
if you're inconsiderate enough to make other arrangements when you have already committed to meeting someone else, I'd say yeah-you pretty much are...j
But i done see as being committeed to that meet until its confirmed. I wouldn't turn up to someone house just on a conversion we had over week ago. And yes i will make other plans if i don't hear from them."
Yes but they are confirming the night before the meeting. They are trying not to pester you. It looks to me like you arrange several meets for the same day and pick the one you really like the most. I'd say you're living some single woman's dream of lots of men falling over you. I'd say your attitude is very timewasterish yes. Get a diary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?!
if you're inconsiderate enough to make other arrangements when you have already committed to meeting someone else, I'd say yeah-you pretty much are...j
But i done see as being committeed to that meet until its confirmed. I wouldn't turn up to someone house just on a conversion we had over week ago. And yes i will make other plans if i don't hear from them."
Yes but they are confirming the night before the meeting. They are trying not to pester you. It looks to me like you arrange several meets for the same day and pick the one you really like the most. I'd say you're living some single woman's dream of lots of men falling over you. I'd say your attitude is very timewasterish yes. Get a diary. |
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"I talk to many guys and I have only met with nicest, funniest, most persistent of them. I suppose I might be considered a time waster to some.
Im the same.....i want to be wooed and chased a bit and mad to laugh....not, will see u next fri and then f... all.......
Its a mating game after all....we are mammals and its part of nature "
Men aren't here to woo us!
I'd be pissed off if I was bombarded with daily contact! Alarm bells would scream: clingy, needy...hell no! |
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"I wonder why all the guys who don't think i am are messaging me privately. Mmmmmmm could there be a reason for that. Hahaha thanks guys even if you're just trying to get into my knickers Xxx"
Because they don't want to offend the women they flirt with on the forums...and to get into your knickers!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder why all the guys who don't think i am are messaging me privately. Mmmmmmm could there be a reason for that. Hahaha thanks guys even if you're just trying to get into my knickers Xxx
Because they don't want to offend the women they flirt with on the forums...and to get into your knickers! "
how true  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I talk to many guys and I have only met with nicest, funniest, most persistent of them. I suppose I might be considered a time waster to some.
Im the same.....i want to be wooed and chased a bit and mad to laugh....not, will see u next fri and then f... all.......
Its a mating game after all....we are mammals and its part of nature
Men aren't here to woo us!
I'd be pissed off if I was bombarded with daily contact! Alarm bells would scream: clingy, needy...hell no! "
You idea of effort is most people's idea of stalker on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder why all the guys who don't think i am are messaging me privately. Mmmmmmm could there be a reason for that. Hahaha thanks guys even if you're just trying to get into my knickers Xxx
Because they don't want to offend the women they flirt with on the forums...and to get into your knickers!
how true "
Yep, bet the OP's inbox is now overflowing with "don't listen to the haters babe, I'd message you every day to make sure we're still on. You're not a timewaster you're gorgeous" type emails. |
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"I bet if a guy had posted the same thing he would have been labeled a time waster no ifs or buts. Just my opinion. "
He'd have been ripped a new one by all and sundry, especially his fellow single males who'd have accused him of making it bad for them!  |
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"I bet if a guy had posted the same thing he would have been labeled a time waster no ifs or buts. Just my opinion.
He'd have been ripped a new one by all and sundry, especially his fellow single males who'd have accused him of making it bad for them! "
Game...set...match! |
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?!
Submissive?!! Hmmmm...
The onus is on both parties. Do you contact them? Perhaps they don't want to bombard you? Sorry, you sound high maintenance to me and who wants that for nsa?
Who say i was looking for nsa?! Im looking for a regular play mate. "
Noooo...you're looking for a boyfriend.
I have three regular playmates I've been seeing for six years. One, I speak to every day, meet about four times a year, friends without commitment or the need to be clingy: nsa! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?! No, you're not a timewaster. It sounds as though the guys you've arranged meets with just can't be bothered to commit, and I'm amazed that they haven't got in touch about the Meet that you've wanted with them. Ignore them, and just go with the guys who do want to be with you. You are stunningly pretty, and you won't have any problems getting meets with interested guys "
So stunningly pretty girls can't be timewasters then? Hmmmmmmmm... |
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"I wonder why all the guys who don't think i am are messaging me privately. Mmmmmmm could there be a reason for that. Hahaha thanks guys even if you're just trying to get into my knickers Xxx
Because they don't want to offend the women they flirt with on the forums...and to get into your knickers!
how true
Yep, bet the OP's inbox is now overflowing with "don't listen to the haters babe, I'd message you every day to make sure we're still on. You're not a timewaster you're gorgeous" type emails. "
You can hear the clattering of hooves as the White Knights charge can't you! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?!
Submissive?!! Hmmmm...
The onus is on both parties. Do you contact them? Perhaps they don't want to bombard you? Sorry, you sound high maintenance to me and who wants that for nsa?
Who say i was looking for nsa?! Im looking for a regular play mate.
Noooo...you're looking for a boyfriend.
I have three regular playmates I've been seeing for six years. One, I speak to every day, meet about four times a year, friends without commitment or the need to be clingy: nsa! "
Got a boyfriend thanks. And how is the nsa?! You've got some attachment if you're speaking everyday weather you'd like to admit it or not. And WTF does being clingy have to do with anything! |
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"I wonder why all the guys who don't think i am are messaging me privately. Mmmmmmm could there be a reason for that. Hahaha thanks guys even if you're just trying to get into my knickers Xxx
Because they don't want to offend the women they flirt with on the forums...and to get into your knickers!
how true
Yep, bet the OP's inbox is now overflowing with "don't listen to the haters babe, I'd message you every day to make sure we're still on. You're not a timewaster you're gorgeous" type emails. "
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I think you shot yourself in the foot by saying you forgot. If you'd asked if getting in touch the night before was too late, you might have got more sympathy.
If you want to be chased, join a dating site, make them work for it. Swinging should be easy, there's no pretence, no "lets be friends and see where it goes". We meet, we fuck, we go our seperate ways. Sometimes friendships develop, sometimes more, sometimes you never see or hear from that person again. You can ignore the majority of the guys responses on here, they just want to get in your pants but when the women are saying you're a time waster, then you probably are. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I bet if a guy had posted the same thing he would have been labeled a time waster no ifs or buts. Just my opinion.
He'd have been ripped a new one by all and sundry, especially his fellow single males who'd have accused him of making it bad for them!
And people ain't ripping into me? Doesn't seem to make a difference.
Game...set...match!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder why all the guys who don't think i am are messaging me privately. Mmmmmmm could there be a reason for that. Hahaha thanks guys even if you're just trying to get into my knickers Xxx"
*snort* well I was going to post that if it works for you and you're clearly not that bothered whether we think you are or not then why post the thread...but then the answer just hit me in the face... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I bet if a guy had posted the same thing he would have been labeled a time waster no ifs or buts. Just my opinion.
He'd have been ripped a new one by all and sundry, especially his fellow single males who'd have accused him of making it bad for them!
And people ain't ripping into me? Doesn't seem to make a difference.
Game...set...match!"
You asked if you were a timewaster...just because you prefer the minority of-course-you're-not-you're-gorgeous male responses to the majority yes you ares doesn't mean you're getting ripped apart!
If you're not prepared for honest answers don't ask for opinions |
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?! "
Communication is definitely a two way thing, and there is no excuse from either party, with e-mail, here, phones etc. Your proposed meet might have thought you had changed your mind because he hadnt heard from you?
That said, I agree that most men wouldnt want to appear clingy or needy. I would normally drop a message, just saying hello and see how things are going - something simple, because I would be pretty pissed off if I got a cancellation the night before.
So, yes, its easy to see why you are labelled a timewaster, but its something that is easily resolved in my opinion. Tell people straight what you expect, or you drop them a line a bit earlier instead. |
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"it's rude to agree to meet someone then forget or not go because they haven't contacted you. If I accept an invitation to a dinner party I go whether I hear from my host in the week leading up to it or not.
It might be a mating game but it is also no strings attached you can't have it all ways.
Again...this!
How is that the same? Seriously if someone didn't text to confirm you just turn up to the pub and wait? "
No and that isn't what you said. I meet on equal terms and assume equal responsibility for arrangements we make. If you want to be chased fine, say so and you'll get plenty of men who'll do it but I still say it's rude to agree to meet someone and not turn up. |
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"I bet if a guy had posted the same thing he would have been labeled a time waster no ifs or buts. Just my opinion.
He'd have been ripped a new one by all and sundry, especially his fellow single males who'd have accused him of making it bad for them!
And people ain't ripping into me? Doesn't seem to make a difference.
Game...set...match!
You asked if you were a timewaster...just because you prefer the minority of-course-you're-not-you're-gorgeous male responses to the majority yes you ares doesn't mean you're getting ripped apart!
If you're not prepared for honest answers don't ask for opinions "
Save me typing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I bet if a guy had posted the same thing he would have been labeled a time waster no ifs or buts. Just my opinion.
He'd have been ripped a new one by all and sundry, especially his fellow single males who'd have accused him of making it bad for them!
And people ain't ripping into me? Doesn't seem to make a difference.
Game...set...match!
You asked if you were a timewaster...just because you prefer the minority of-course-you're-not-you're-gorgeous male responses to the majority yes you ares doesn't mean you're getting ripped apart!
If you're not prepared for honest answers don't ask for opinions
Save me typing! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I bet if a guy had posted the same thing he would have been labeled a time waster no ifs or buts. Just my opinion.
He'd have been ripped a new one by all and sundry, especially his fellow single males who'd have accused him of making it bad for them!
And people ain't ripping into me? Doesn't seem to make a difference.
Game...set...match!
You asked if you were a timewaster...just because you prefer the minority of-course-you're-not-you're-gorgeous male responses to the majority yes you ares doesn't mean you're getting ripped apart!
If you're not prepared for honest answers don't ask for opinions
Save me typing!
"
yikes!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest i would class you as timewaster based only on what you have said. If i arrange a meet especially where the female has family etc i do not pester and assume the meet is on but day before usually ask to see if meet still on. If then the reply is you forgot then probably think you wasting time. Just my take on your post.
If it was a singlevguy posting he would get slated just as much if not more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok will try and put this in context if you arrange to meet someone either on a swinging site or in the normal world no one would expect a daily update as to weather it's going ahead or not. 24hrs seems a fairly normal practice in all walks of life.
If that person has rearranged work child care turned down meets for you just to cancel on a whim it can be nothing less than time wasting.
Just because your a single female doesn't excuse this behaviour but as your in box no doubt will be full of guys still trying to get in your good books for a meet. |
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I'm afraid you are - if a guy did that to me I would label him a timewaster
It is the responsibility of BOTH parties to maintain communication if they want to...If you want to be chased then perhaps nsa isn't your thing... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder why all the guys who don't think i am are messaging me privately. Mmmmmmm could there be a reason for that. Hahaha thanks guys even if you're just trying to get into my knickers Xxx
*snort* well I was going to post that if it works for you and you're clearly not that bothered whether we think you are or not then why post the thread...but then the answer just hit me in the face... "
lol yes, a look at me post maybe?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If your busy your busy it can't be helped or even ill we had a nasty bug once and the couple we planned to meet made nice little status updates about us but never mind onwards and fuckwards |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If your busy your busy it can't be helped or even ill we had a nasty bug once and the couple we planned to meet made nice little status updates about us but never mind onwards and fuckwards "
You haven't read her initial post properly. She's not talking about cancelling for illness or family reasons. Just can't-be-arsedness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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IMHO, if date, time, location and format are not confirmed, then a meet has not been agreed and formalised.
Requesting for a meet to be finalised in less than 48h after a significant period of no communications is not acceptable, as I have a busy life of my own, and do not sit about waiting for the phone to ring!
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
Reading over this, it does sounds like you want your cake and to eat it too. There's no reason not to contact someone before a meet. The amount of time it takes not only to set up a meet a few weeks in adv is difficult in itself. To find someone you're interested in amongst all the spam is even harder.
What I don't get us why go to all that effort and then suddenly forget?
As a guy, although contact is important, you don't want to come across too 'lovey' but sending a confirmation text isn't hard for either to do.
To forget though. Essentially its only you losing out on experiences ... And a guy thinking he's got a good night coming only to be let down (much as he probably should send a hello) .. But as said, it can come across as pestering so its a fine line. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My honest opinion is if you arrange a meet and then for whatever reason you change your mind you should let them know
To arrange a meet and then arrange another and not tell the first till they mail you to ask if the meets still on isn't really acceptable to me
if you feel someone is ignoring you and you no longer wish to meet that's fine, to not tell them just shows bad manners in my opinion |
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Time waster I'm afraid as said above, to forget and arrange in in excusable
As for ladies wanting to be chased, really you all get that in spades , most men here will be aware of your mail load and not want to seem pushy let's not forget the golden sin is to be pushy x
From my perspective it was for you to message them if he had grabbed your attention enough to commit to a meet then it beats me how you could forget
I would suggest that some ladies need to realise if they want an articulate man who has self respect , then they will also need to put some effort in
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This thread made me chuckle. Lots of good points made.
I'm a contrary submissive control freak with a terrible memory but I don't expect the people I meet to do all the work. It's verging on rude to assume that the bloke should chase you on an NSA site. Forgive me as I've not read your profile, perhaps you state all of your expectations in there.
You may be worth it but the valid point made further up, this thread would have gone in a totally different direction if you were a bloke. If you expect to be woo'd then make it clear or join a dating site. |
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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago
In a crisp poke on the A814 |
"Why arrange a day to meet if you're going to forget about it...
Are you contacting them during the week between arranging to mee and the day of the meet... If yes and they're not responding fair enough to assume they've changed their mind.
If you're not keeping in touch with them during that time, why should they keep in touch with you???
"
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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago
In a crisp poke on the A814 |
"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?! "
IF a guy did this to me I would say he was wasting my time.....
So yes....In my book, you are a timewaster... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As for ladies wanting to be chased, really you all get that in spades , most men here will be aware of your mail load and not want to seem pushy let's not forget the golden sin is to be pushy x"
I must admit I agree with that, im rather the same, if I arrange a meet I don't mail them every day as I don't want to come over as clingy, and I suspect some guys feel the same, but unless I hear other wise I would assume the meet was still going ahead even if we didn't mail for a few days
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If you're not keeping in touch with them during that time, why should they keep in touch with you???
"
that is a very good point, if no mails been sent in a week that means your not mailing him either, so how can you moan about someone doing what your doing?
I suppose we are working on the assumption that cause he's the guy he should be grateful of the offer to meet and doing all the work to make sure it goes ahead?
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I take my time getting to know someone first and I enjoy the build up to a meet with some teasing sexy messages so I certainly keep in contact with them leading up to a meet.
To call it off because they didn't run around after you (or you forgot) is really a very poor excuse!
No wonder men are feeling jaded and are treating the site like instashag.com because they feel they have to jump through all sorts of hoops.
My profile states how I prefer to meet so if someone contacts me I have been upfront, if you expect to be woo'd, I suggest you update your profile to state that fact, then they can decide whether they think you are worth it or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So OP, how do you feel this thread is going so far? Have the forum denizens met your expectations today, and if not what can we do to improve our service? |
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"
I would suggest that some ladies need to realise if they want an articulate man who has self respect , then they will also need to put some effort in
"
Yep! I don't want a guy who is so desperate he will compromise his dignity to make me feel good about myself, I have enough self esteem not to need it. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
do I think you are a timewaster... no
do I think it is a pretty shoddy way to treat someone you have made an arrangement with..... absolutely!!!
you are no better than a bloke who had double booked themselves, and if they had they would have been absolutely roasted alive on here!
I'm sorry... this wooing stuff is a cover, I was taught that if I made a commitment, I stick to it.....
it is a two way street, I thought we would all be adult enough that one person didn't have to do all the chasing and one go la la la...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" How is that the same? Seriously if someone didn't text to confirm you just turn up to the pub and wait?
No, because texts and messages work both ways. What's to stop you from sending a midweek message saying 'are you still interested as I've not heard from you', then you will find out and also may make them realise you want more contact."
Already forgotten?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes, you are.
next question"
No she's not...
Yes a meet has been arranged and yes it's up to the OP to keep contact with her meets but also up to the guy as most couples fems have kids ect so have to plan well ahead,can see where she is coming from....
I too lead a very busy life away from fab I work full time, have kids and husband meets get arranged and then nothing...
Then a couple of hours before said meet I will get a text saying en route ton you be there in 30 mins...
Meets are a 2way thing and communication is important, if i arrange to meet someone I like to be in contact well before play date, I like to get a feel if its a real meet not just someone playing, getting kicks and after many years swinging I've got a sixth sence just through communication on fab x |
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"I've arranged meets where they've had to wait over a week to see me. (Im a single parent and have to work around my daughter) I don't hear from them and I've pretty much forgotten about it. Then i get a text the night before saying are we still meeting. By then I've properly got something else organised or i think if you can't be arse to talk to me even once during that week why the fuck should i meet you?! "
Probably not a 'timewaster' but being good looking, female and on fab you seem like 'many' (NOT all before I get hate mail) to expect the guys to do all the work.
If a guy messaged you everyday between chatting and the meet it would be 'too much' once would probably be 'not enough' so the poor guy would be damned if he did and damned if he didn't.
But hey if it works for you enjoy it ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"do I think you are a timewaster... no
do I think it is a pretty shoddy way to treat someone you have made an arrangement with..... absolutely!!!
you are no better than a bloke who had double booked themselves, and if they had they would have been absolutely roasted alive on here!
I'm sorry... this wooing stuff is a cover, I was taught that if I made a commitment, I stick to it.....
it is a two way street, I thought we would all be adult enough that one person didn't have to do all the chasing and one go la la la......"
What he said |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"yes, you are.
next question
No she's not...
Yes a meet has been arranged and yes it's up to the OP to keep contact with her meets but also up to the guy as most couples fems have kids ect so have to plan well ahead,can see where she is coming from....
I too lead a very busy life away from fab I work full time, have kids and husband meets get arranged and then nothing...
Then a couple of hours before said meet I will get a text saying en route ton you be there in 30 mins...
Meets are a 2way thing and communication is important, if i arrange to meet someone I like to be in contact well before play date, I like to get a feel if its a real meet not just someone playing, getting kicks and after many years swinging I've got a sixth sence just through communication on fab x"
So if you don't hear from the person do you mail them and see if the meet is still on? |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
If I arranged a meet with a guy, then didn't contact him, and then when he contacted me decided I was too busy after all, I obviously didn't really want to meet that guy.
I feel bad for the blokes to be honest. It's tough for single guys to get meets, so they must think its Christmas and their birthday rolled into one when the OP agrees to meet them. Then just before the meet they get told its not happening. Poor buggers. |
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"If I arranged a meet with a guy, then didn't contact him, and then when he contacted me decided I was too busy after all, I obviously didn't really want to meet that guy.
I feel bad for the blokes to be honest. It's tough for single guys to get meets, so they must think its Christmas and their birthday rolled into one when the OP agrees to meet them. Then just before the meet they get told its not happening. Poor buggers."
Its part of the 'joys' of being a guy on Fab.... Its one of the things you just get used to ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dont know about being a time waster but if I was the one you had arranged something with and then 'forgot' have to say Id be pretty pissed off...
I'd be pretty pissed off too "
me too. Depends if the op has actually agreed a time and place... Guys don't want to chase on here. In fact if a guy kept messaging me once something was sorted chances are I would cancel.
If your actually arranging a meet.. then not going through with it I would say you are wasting time x |
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