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By *lay2018 OP Couple
over a year ago
westmeath & roscommon. |
The reason for this question is that i was chatting about swinging to 2 married cples, long term friends and the 4 of them all said theyve never ever fantasised ever about having sex with others. I near spat my tea out all over the place because in my opinion its bullshit. These are the type that would be afraid to admit something like this incase their other half went crazy. Such a sad life they have if you cant openly admit to supposedly the closest person in your life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just curious to know how often yous fantasised about having sex with others even thou you were with someone before swinging was an option.
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I have to say I just played and didn't get caught. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You dirty wee cat yee lol. Did he ever find out even when you split ?"
no.. ironically I divorced him for adultery.. but I knew he was messing about.
I did try for ages to kerb my nature.. but we started swinging and he made it worse. He had who he wanted and refused me anyone I wanted. |
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" Such a sad life they have if you cant openly admit to supposedly the closest person in your life. "
Tad unfair and judgemental as I'm sure most of us have been approached by one half of a supposedly happy, open swinging couple on here.
I think because we embrace recreational sex with strangers we assume everyone else should and they're lying/in denial if they have no interest in seeing their spouses being shagged bandy by strangers! |
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Also sex is fairly high on the list of priorities for people on this site.
But if my wife had enough and no longer found any of this appealing and did not want to even discuss it any longer, I'm sure I could adjust to keep her happy. I would hope I could anyway.
It may seem strange but her happiness is my first priority, my sex drive and passions come distant to that.
Also people struggle to be honest with themselves most of the time. So being completely honest and open with another is highly improbable, even for those of us who feel we are lucky enough to be able to be honest. Do we ever really know another persons inner thoughts.
How would you ever know??? |
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"I dont mean that, what i mean is that they dont have the courage to admit it to their life long partner. That speaks volumes to me"
But would you say something if you thought it would upset your partner (we all know it may not) but the fear that it may upset them is what holds people back.
People hold back about far less intimate things to keep the love of their life content. Like how good their cooking is, that they no longer have the same faith they did when they met, that they wish they never had kids, that they should have gone on holiday to france rather than spain...
It's not sad it's just a compromise out of fear of upsetting the one they love the most. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont mean that, what i mean is that they dont have the courage to admit it to their life long partner. That speaks volumes to me
But would you say something if you thought it would upset your partner (we all know it may not) but the fear that it may upset them is what holds people back.
People hold back about far less intimate things to keep the love of their life content. Like how good their cooking is, that they no longer have the same faith they did when they met, that they wish they never had kids, that they should have gone on holiday to france rather than spain...
It's not sad it's just a compromise out of fear of upsetting the one they love the most."
Also they really honestly might not have ever fantasised about having sex with someone else.
Some people don't think about sex 24/7.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My wife is not as sexually open as I am, in fact I would say she's quite withdrawn at times.
She says that she doesn't have fantasies, although has used mine when I've blindfolded her during sex & thought of the things I have suggested.
She also says that she doesn't play on her own, she has plenty of toys but I know they don't come out unless I suggest it.
I find this hard to believe & we sometimes get in a heated discussion about it. She says if she wanted to pleasure herself she would, but doesn't have the need to & that I'm around if she is feeling horny.
Our sex life is varied & very good. We have visited clubs together & had 2 or 3 private socials. However she said its not for her at this time. I hope one day she changes her mind though.
So, OP, I can understand that you feel people don't admit to things that you & I think they do think about, but are they?
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