FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Married guys as single males
Married guys as single males
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By *livia_K OP Woman
over a year ago
South London |
I recently had a message from a single guy. It was a nice message so I checked out his profile. He was honest in his profile and said that he was married.
Now I am not about to judge anyone's marriage or what they do with it and it's absolutely none of my business anyway.
I state on my profile that I will not meet single guys who are married or nearly single or any of that jazz. Whatever they do in their marriage is entirely up to them and I just don't want to be a part of it.
So I politely declined this guy with a thanks but no thanks as I won't meet married guys. That should be that right? Apparently not. He seemed to require a full explanation as to why I won't meet married guys. I politely declined again, but in the end just had to ignore him.
Firstly, I shouldn't have to explain myself - no means no, end of. And secondly I am not going to judge someone else for their own life choices which I would probably need to do if I were to properly explain myself.
I was just wondering what others' thoughts were on this?
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I think he should wind his neck in
I agree with the policy other people's marriages are none of my business, I don't ask or discuss other people's private lives that's up to them in my book
But you clearly state you don't meet married men and that should be enough for him, just like his marriage is none of your business your reasons are none of his |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i) You don't have to explain yourself
ii) I'm not sure why he bothered if you expressly state you wont meet married guys
iii) Is refusing to meet married guys not in a sense judging them, despite claiming not to? Im not saying you are wrong to but surely by refusing to meet them that in itself is judging what some may consider immoral behavior? |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
If your profile states you won't meet married men then I think you were polite to even reply. I'll never understand why people read a profile, see something that excludes them, then send a message anyway and get huffy when they're told no. I hear dummies being spat out! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think he should wind his neck in
I agree with the policy other people's marriages are none of my business, I don't ask or discuss other people's private lives that's up to them in my book
But you clearly state you don't meet married men and that should be enough for him, just like his marriage is none of your business your reasons are none of his"
I agree I think the best thing is not to discuss it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If your profile states you won't meet married men then I think you were polite to even reply. I'll never understand why people read a profile, see something that excludes them, then send a message anyway and get huffy when they're told no. I hear dummies being spat out!"
Assuming he read the profile though |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"If your profile states you won't meet married men then I think you were polite to even reply. I'll never understand why people read a profile, see something that excludes them, then send a message anyway and get huffy when they're told no. I hear dummies being spat out!
Assuming he read the profile though "
Excellent point. I suspect not. |
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By *livia_K OP Woman
over a year ago
South London |
"
iii) Is refusing to meet married guys not in a sense judging them, despite claiming not to? Im not saying you are wrong to but surely by refusing to meet them that in itself is judging what some may consider immoral behavior?"
Well it is I suppose, you're right. Doesn't mean I need to do it openly. My closest friends sometimes do things I disagree with but I still don't judge them as such. If you know what I mean... |
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By *livia_K OP Woman
over a year ago
South London |
"If your profile states you won't meet married men then I think you were polite to even reply. I'll never understand why people read a profile, see something that excludes them, then send a message anyway and get huffy when they're told no. I hear dummies being spat out!
Assuming he read the profile though
Excellent point. I suspect not."
Oh no he read it alright. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"If your profile states you won't meet married men then I think you were polite to even reply. I'll never understand why people read a profile, see something that excludes them, then send a message anyway and get huffy when they're told no. I hear dummies being spat out!
Assuming he read the profile though
Excellent point. I suspect not.
Oh no he read it alright."
Then he has no excuse and is just a bit silly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You don't have to explain anything. There are enough guys on here that you will get one that suits you down to a tee. You don't have to compromise anything, nor should you.
If a guy can't respect your profile preferences what's the chance of him respecting your boundaries during a meet? |
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"You don't have to explain anything. There are enough guys on here that you will get one that suits you down to a tee. You don't have to compromise anything, nor should you.
If a guy can't respect your profile preferences what's the chance of him respecting your boundaries during a meet?"
Well said that man! |
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By *livia_K OP Woman
over a year ago
South London |
"You don't have to explain anything. There are enough guys on here that you will get one that suits you down to a tee. You don't have to compromise anything, nor should you.
If a guy can't respect your profile preferences what's the chance of him respecting your boundaries during a meet?"
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I wouldn't have even replied to soneone who clearly didn't match what I state I'm looking for...
If someone, on paper matches what I'm looking for but I'm not interested then I try to reply with a thanks but no thanks mail (without giving any further explanation)...if they then come back with a "why not" mail I block. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The morale is: respect peoples boundries. If you dont meet their criteria then dont bother. A beauty like you love will have no probs finding a guy who fits the bill!
Happy swinging. Ben x |
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I am married and on here on my own. I read profiles thoroughly and, if it states that she/they won't meet married men, I block their profile so I don't contact them. I totally respect the decisions that other's take on this issue.
If you haven't already, you should just block him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like a serious attempt to lay a guilt trip on you. People almost never read profiles. To be fair a lot of people never update theirs either, so there is probably some angle in gently pushing. My ex and I had some good times that were off the script back in the day.
Having said that "No" does mean "No" in my book.
Reason we stayed away from "single" married types playing away was simply that we had no interest in potentially hurting the the guys wife.
Bit of a rant ,,, soz
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By *livia_K OP Woman
over a year ago
South London |
"I am married and on here on my own. I read profiles thoroughly and, if it states that she/they won't meet married men, I block their profile so I don't contact them. I totally respect the decisions that other's take on this issue.
If you haven't already, you should just block him."
Well that's it isn't it? Just accept and respect someone's preferences and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No matter what the reason is for declining, some people will always ask why. I generally reply once then leave it as otherwise you'll be chatting forever about nonsense. When they should have just taken the first reply which was "no thank you". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
i) You don't have to explain yourself
ii) I'm not sure why he bothered if you expressly state you wont meet married guys
iii) Is refusing to meet married guys not in a sense judging them, despite claiming not to? Im not saying you are wrong to but surely by refusing to meet them that in itself is judging what some may consider immoral behavior?"
Surely it's down to choice....
The OP is not judging just choosing not to meet maried men for her own reasons x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am married and on here on my own. I read profiles thoroughly and, if it states that she/they won't meet married men, I block their profile so I don't contact them. I totally respect the decisions that other's take on this issue.
If you haven't already, you should just block him.
Well that's it isn't it? Just accept and respect someone's preferences and move on."
Well very much single here and no chains in sight . Actually looking for a lady who may be knickerless lol |
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By *livia_K OP Woman
over a year ago
South London |
"I am married and on here on my own. I read profiles thoroughly and, if it states that she/they won't meet married men, I block their profile so I don't contact them. I totally respect the decisions that other's take on this issue.
If you haven't already, you should just block him.
Well that's it isn't it? Just accept and respect someone's preferences and move on.
Well very much single here and no chains in sight . Actually looking for a lady who may be knickerless lol "
Well as I just got home from work and still on my work clothes, the knickers are firmly on |
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"
iii) Is refusing to meet married guys not in a sense judging them, despite claiming not to? Im not saying you are wrong to but surely by refusing to meet them that in itself is judging what some may consider immoral behavior?"
surely its someones personal preference whom they wish to meet and not being judgemental..
Op, sense of entitlement by some (of all groups)..
on 'this sort of site' there is and inevitably will be those who view it as 'instant shag'..
anyone who cant respect anyone elses profile and preference does'nt deserve a reply tbh..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
iii) Is refusing to meet married guys not in a sense judging them, despite claiming not to? Im not saying you are wrong to but surely by refusing to meet them that in itself is judging what some may consider immoral behavior?
surely its someones personal preference whom they wish to meet and not being judgemental..
Op, sense of entitlement by some (of all groups)..
on 'this sort of site' there is and inevitably will be those who view it as 'instant shag'..
anyone who cant respect anyone elses profile and preference does'nt deserve a reply tbh..
"
I think the point Im making is probably a little academic (and perhaps irrelevant) so dont worry. I just meant that by making a decision not to meet married guys you are arguably judging them but it isnt really pertinent to the discussion.
Ultimately like you say its up to the individual who they meet. |
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"I recently had a message from a single guy. It was a nice message so I checked out his profile. He was honest in his profile and said that he was married.
Now I am not about to judge anyone's marriage or what they do with it and it's absolutely none of my business anyway.
I state on my profile that I will not meet single guys who are married or nearly single or any of that jazz. Whatever they do in their marriage is entirely up to them and I just don't want to be a part of it.
So I politely declined this guy with a thanks but no thanks as I won't meet married guys. That should be that right? Apparently not. He seemed to require a full explanation as to why I won't meet married guys. I politely declined again, but in the end just had to ignore him.
Firstly, I shouldn't have to explain myself - no means no, end of. And secondly I am not going to judge someone else for their own life choices which I would probably need to do if I were to properly explain myself.
I was just wondering what others' thoughts were on this?
"
I had similar, he responded to something I'd written in the forums and I answered in kind. I didn't check his profile as it wasn't a "come on" opened message.
The follow up message was unnecessary so I checked his profile, can't accommodate, married. As you, it would never cross my mind to talk about other peoples marriage, but when married men contacting me, ignoring my profile all bets are off.
I don't justify, apologise: nothing. I don't meet married men, leave me alone! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Perhaps u shd of told him outright exactly wot u thort of cheating married men and then he wld of left it at that lol, then again maybe not. Sounds like he wasnt exactly blessed wiv brains lol |
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"
iii) Is refusing to meet married guys not in a sense judging them, despite claiming not to? Im not saying you are wrong to but surely by refusing to meet them that in itself is judging what some may consider immoral behavior?
surely its someones personal preference whom they wish to meet and not being judgemental..
Op, sense of entitlement by some (of all groups)..
on 'this sort of site' there is and inevitably will be those who view it as 'instant shag'..
anyone who cant respect anyone elses profile and preference does'nt deserve a reply tbh..
I think the point Im making is probably a little academic (and perhaps irrelevant) so dont worry. I just meant that by making a decision not to meet married guys you are arguably judging them but it isnt really pertinent to the discussion.
Ultimately like you say its up to the individual who they meet. "
i'm not..
worried that is.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
iii) Is refusing to meet married guys not in a sense judging them, despite claiming not to? Im not saying you are wrong to but surely by refusing to meet them that in itself is judging what some may consider immoral behavior?
surely its someones personal preference whom they wish to meet and not being judgemental..
Op, sense of entitlement by some (of all groups)..
on 'this sort of site' there is and inevitably will be those who view it as 'instant shag'..
anyone who cant respect anyone elses profile and preference does'nt deserve a reply tbh..
I think the point Im making is probably a little academic (and perhaps irrelevant) so dont worry. I just meant that by making a decision not to meet married guys you are arguably judging them but it isnt really pertinent to the discussion.
Ultimately like you say its up to the individual who they meet. "
Can it not be said then that if you choose to meet them your are judging the situation also?
Its not judging someone to just not want to get involved in others business and not want to risk any hassle if theyure found out.. Nsa means hassle free. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am married and on here on my own. I read profiles thoroughly and, if it states that she/they won't meet married men, I block their profile so I don't contact them. I totally respect the decisions that other's take on this issue.
If you haven't already, you should just block him.
Well that's it isn't it? Just accept and respect someone's preferences and move on.
Well very much single here and no chains in sight . Actually looking for a lady who may be knickerless lol
Well as I just got home from work and still on my work clothes, the knickers are firmly on "
another trip to A+E eh?-superglue looks way different to moisturizer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am married and my profile says so....and reason why I am on here. I quite agree that women have the right to refuse to meet and fully understand and respect their decision. And if I see a profile saying no marrieds then I move on. I am not proud of being on here..but gives me the sexual outlet that I can't get at home. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I totally agree that No means No and the gentleman concerned should have respected your decision. I too refuse to judge others actions regarding the moral stand point of their marriage etc.
Sadly there are people who do believe that every person who declines their offer for whatever reason takes offence to the fact that no explanation has been given for their refusal to play.
Oh the block button such a wonderful weapon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If your profile states you won't meet married men then I think you were polite to even reply. I'll never understand why people read a profile, see something that excludes them, then send a message anyway and get huffy when they're told no. I hear dummies being spat out!"
we get this a lot |
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"I recently had a message from a single guy. It was a nice message so I checked out his profile. He was honest in his profile and said that he was married.
Now I am not about to judge anyone's marriage or what they do with it and it's absolutely none of my business anyway.
I state on my profile that I will not meet single guys who are married or nearly single or any of that jazz. Whatever they do in their marriage is entirely up to them and I just don't want to be a part of it.
So I politely declined this guy with a thanks but no thanks as I won't meet married guys. That should be that right? Apparently not. He seemed to require a full explanation as to why I won't meet married guys. I politely declined again, but in the end just had to ignore him.
Firstly, I shouldn't have to explain myself - no means no, end of. And secondly I am not going to judge someone else for their own life choices which I would probably need to do if I were to properly explain myself.
I was just wondering what others' thoughts were on this? This guy SHOULDN'T have mailed you and resected you wishes. But looking at it from an attached guys point of veiw, some men are in a relationship thats fulfilling and evrrything they want APART from the sex. some women are not as open minded or as upfront as the women on here. After all most women on here don't want more from meets than good sex and letting them selves go. I feel it would be safer all round meeting someone from the site. You get to chat with them 1st etc. What other options do attached guys have?? clubbing and if they get lucky they may get cault out hurting alot of ppl i.e partner,kids friends etc or use a escort girl both are alot more risky..at the end of the day you may love your partner whom doesn't want the same sexaul experiences as you...you only live once id it so bad to want exciting sex as well.??
" |
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"I recently had a message from a single guy. It was a nice message so I checked out his profile. He was honest in his profile and said that he was married.
Now I am not about to judge anyone's marriage or what they do with it and it's absolutely none of my business anyway.
I state on my profile that I will not meet single guys who are married or nearly single or any of that jazz. Whatever they do in their marriage is entirely up to them and I just don't want to be a part of it.
So I politely declined this guy with a thanks but no thanks as I won't meet married guys. That should be that right? Apparently not. He seemed to require a full explanation as to why I won't meet married guys. I politely declined again, but in the end just had to ignore him.
Firstly, I shouldn't have to explain myself - no means no, end of. And secondly I am not going to judge someone else for their own life choices which I would probably need to do if I were to properly explain myself.
I was just wondering what others' thoughts were on this?
[ /quote: *)
This guy SHOULDN'T have mailed you and resected you wishes. But looking at it from an attached guys point of veiw, some men are in a relationship thats fulfilling and evrrything they want APART from the sex. some women are not as open minded or as upfront as the women on here. After all most women on here don't want more from meets than good sex and letting them selves go. I feel it would be safer all round meeting someone from the site. You get to chat with them 1st etc. What other options do attached guys have?? clubbing and if they get lucky they may get cault out hurting alot of ppl i.e partner,kids friends etc or use a escort girl both are alot more risky..at the end of the day you may love your partner whom doesn't want the same sexaul experiences as you...you only live once id it so bad to want exciting sex as well.??
" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And guys wonder why some people don't reply to messages! A polite no thanks often results in abuse or, as in this case, the start of a negotiation in an attempt to get you to change your mind. Block button is very handy!! |
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"And guys wonder why some people don't reply to messages! A polite no thanks often results in abuse or, as in this case, the start of a negotiation in an attempt to get you to change your mind. Block button is very handy!!" i have msg women in a polite way passing complements and just get ignored. But i agree if you take time to reply saying sorry not interested in attached guys they should say thanks and leave at that.NO excuse to be rude or keep on that gives the rest of us guys a bad image...a little respect goes a long way on both parts. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
" i have msg women in a polite way passing complements and just get ignored. But i agree if you take time to reply saying sorry not interested in attached guys they should say thanks and leave at that.NO excuse to be rude or keep on that gives the rest of us guys a bad image...a little respect goes a long way on both parts. "
actually.... I am going to disagree with you on a few things....
no one give "us guys" a bad image... you make your own luck on here... no one actions speak for me.... as I don't speak for others
I really wish in a way they would devide the single category into 3......
truely single.....
single with consent...
single without consent...
at least you would have a better indication... but it would still rely on people telling the truth
but then... if they are playing without consent, why on earth would they me more truthful on here..... |
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" have msg women in a polite way passing complements and just get ignored. But i agree if you take time to reply saying sorry not interested in attached guys they should say thanks and leave at that.NO excuse to be rude or keep on that gives the rest of us guys a bad image...a little respect goes a long way on both parts. "
what about respect for the person your deceiving maybe..? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the OP (who looks gorgeous in her profile btw!) should have just blocked when he replied to the no thanks message. Irrespective of whether he was married, looked like the elephant man or was merely not her type, the fact is no one on here should have to justify their decisions to anyone. No means no and I'm sure we can all do without the neediness.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Reason we stayed away from "single" married types playing away was simply that we had no interest in potentially hurting the the guys wife.
And that is pretty much my reason."
pretty much normal reason too or at least one would like to think so. Sadly there are a lot of sociopathic people around. Like your profile comment about "vanilla" dating sites!! Nobody reads profiles on those either I have learned,,, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you're a swinger & you can't take 'NO' for an answer without expecting an explanation, then you're in the wrong game.
I make a point not to go further than a 'Thanks but no thanks' without offering an explanation, to those who I think deserve a reply. Going further than that just leads to more headache I've found.
Besides, swinging should be all about having fun, so whether you' single or married, you'll always find people that will meet you. All you have to do is find the xx |
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" have msg women in a polite way passing complements and just get ignored. But i agree if you take time to reply saying sorry not interested in attached guys they should say thanks and leave at that.NO excuse to be rude or keep on that gives the rest of us guys a bad image...a little respect goes a long way on both parts.
what about respect for the person your deceiving maybe..?" i work hard and provide for my family and stand by and support them in every way i can. i not aloud to enjoy myself and fulfil my own fantasy then.. goy to spend my life dreaming about what it would be like?? I know its wrong to do it behind her back but its the safest way in my veiw |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're a swinger & you can't take 'NO' for an answer without expecting an explanation, then you're in the wrong game."
so true. people who get offended by rejection on a swingers site should not be here
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I havn't gone right through the thread, so would only maybe say that for some married persons who play with the full consent of theor partner, that they may merely be clarifying whether it is an absolute no for anyone married or whether you are trying (like most of us) to put off those that cheat..
That said, there is no excuse for pestering after "No" has been said.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I recently had a message from a single guy. It was a nice message so I checked out his profile. He was honest in his profile and said that he was married.
Now I am not about to judge anyone's marriage or what they do with it and it's absolutely none of my business anyway.
I state on my profile that I will not meet single guys who are married or nearly single or any of that jazz. Whatever they do in their marriage is entirely up to them and I just don't want to be a part of it.
So I politely declined this guy with a thanks but no thanks as I won't meet married guys. That should be that right? Apparently not. He seemed to require a full explanation as to why I won't meet married guys. I politely declined again, but in the end just had to ignore him.
Firstly, I shouldn't have to explain myself - no means no, end of. And secondly I am not going to judge someone else for their own life choices which I would probably need to do if I were to properly explain myself.
I was just wondering what others' thoughts were on this?
"
I think he was a complete knob. Problem is with FAB (and other similar sites) is that there will always be idiots who think the world owes them one. Get over yourself fella! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"this shouldn't be a discussion about the moralities of what people choose to do. "
Well its funny how the cheats all come forward to try and explain their actions.. Get them justified to ease the guilt maybe?
I've never seen anything that isn't a completely selfish reason and I don't like selfishness, nothing to do with morals |
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"I recently had a message from a single guy. It was a nice message so I checked out his profile. He was honest in his profile and said that he was married.
Now I am not about to judge anyone's marriage or what they do with it and it's absolutely none of my business anyway.
I state on my profile that I will not meet single guys who are married or nearly single or any of that jazz. Whatever they do in their marriage is entirely up to them and I just don't want to be a part of it.
So I politely declined this guy with a thanks but no thanks as I won't meet married guys. That should be that right? Apparently not. He seemed to require a full explanation as to why I won't meet married guys. I politely declined again, but in the end just had to ignore him.
Firstly, I shouldn't have to explain myself - no means no, end of. And secondly I am not going to judge someone else for their own life choices which I would probably need to do if I were to properly explain myself.
I was just wondering what others' thoughts were on this?
"
no explanation required for any preference you have here or anywhere else... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"this shouldn't be a discussion about the moralities of what people choose to do.
Well its funny how the cheats all come forward to try and explain their actions.. Get them justified to ease the guilt maybe?
I've never seen anything that isn't a completely selfish reason and I don't like selfishness, nothing to do with morals "
very presumptive of you is it not? the point is this lady was not obligated to do or say anything and the general consensus is the bloke was an idiot.
Im not sure your second paragraph even makes sense |
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By *livia_K OP Woman
over a year ago
South London |
Blimey, this thread has taken a different turn! I was more trying to make the point of people respecting other people's preferences and taking a no as a no without demanding an explanation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Blimey, this thread has taken a different turn! I was more trying to make the point of people respecting other people's preferences and taking a no as a no without demanding an explanation."
exactly. I guess it was inevitable it would turn into criticisms of those who choose to play away |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hav'nt read all the thread so going to answer the OP question
I have always found that when ive said no thank you to married men they have always been happy to accept that and respected my decision with good grace |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hav'nt read all the thread so going to answer the OP question
I have always found that when ive said no thank you to married men they have always been happy to accept that and respected my decision with good grace"
my wife wasnt happy though...she REALLY wanted to taste ur pussy flava on my cock |
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"this shouldn't be a discussion about the moralities of what people choose to do.
Well its funny how the cheats all come forward to try and explain their actions.. Get them justified to ease the guilt maybe?
I've never seen anything that isn't a completely selfish reason and I don't like selfishness, nothing to do with morals "
Why are you so militant on this subject? Not just on this post but several like it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hav'nt read all the thread so going to answer the OP question
I have always found that when ive said no thank you to married men they have always been happy to accept that and respected my decision with good grace
my wife wasnt happy though...she REALLY wanted to taste ur pussy flava on my cock"
*tut* you should have said! |
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"Blimey, this thread has taken a different turn! I was more trying to make the point of people respecting other people's preferences and taking a no as a no without demanding an explanation.
exactly. I guess it was inevitable it would turn into criticisms of those who choose to play away"
whatever the 'reasons' that people 'play away', there are many who have been badly hurt and had their relationship destroyed..
thats one reason why there will allways be criticism..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Blimey, this thread has taken a different turn! I was more trying to make the point of people respecting other people's preferences and taking a no as a no without demanding an explanation.
exactly. I guess it was inevitable it would turn into criticisms of those who choose to play away
whatever the 'reasons' that people 'play away', there are many who have been badly hurt and had their relationship destroyed..
thats one reason why there will allways be criticism..
"
agreed but the point was not really the primary reason for the OP seeking comment.
Whether people believe it or not, I am not actually in that scenario myself but do take offence to incorrect presumptive comments |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Blimey, this thread has taken a different turn! I was more trying to make the point of people respecting other people's preferences and taking a no as a no without demanding an explanation.
exactly. I guess it was inevitable it would turn into criticisms of those who choose to play away
whatever the 'reasons' that people 'play away', there are many who have been badly hurt and had their relationship destroyed..
thats one reason why there will allways be criticism..
agreed but the point was not really the primary reason for the OP seeking comment.
Whether people believe it or not, I am not actually in that scenario myself but do take offence to incorrect presumptive comments"
I doubt there has ever been a post in the history of Fab forums that's stayed exactly on the topic of the OP. People feel strongly about things, and one of the things people feel very strongly about is people going behind the backs of other people. So a post like this will get comments on that sort of behaviour. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having been on the receiving end of a cheating partner who used a website to meet ladies I will always feel very strongly about men who choose to play away. Cheating is a very emotive subject but I know my feelings about it won't stop those doing what they choose to do.
He firstly should have read your profile properly before messaging you which shows disrespect in my opinion. He should have taken no for an answer as questioning your decision was bound to put him in a less favourable position.
crystal |
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"Blimey, this thread has taken a different turn! I was more trying to make the point of people respecting other people's preferences and taking a no as a no without demanding an explanation.
exactly. I guess it was inevitable it would turn into criticisms of those who choose to play away
whatever the 'reasons' that people 'play away', there are many who have been badly hurt and had their relationship destroyed..
thats one reason why there will allways be criticism..
agreed but the point was not really the primary reason for the OP seeking comment.
Whether people believe it or not, I am not actually in that scenario myself but do take offence to incorrect presumptive comments"
all threads will have several elements and will often go off in different directions, allways happens..
why take offence if your not in that scenario..?
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I haven't read the whole thread, so please don't shoot me down....
I have always stated I will not and do not meet married men, but I sort of relented a few years ago, because said guy, was in a loveless marriage and only together for the sake of the kid yadda yadda yadda, only on the night of the meet, he asked me to turn the tv down, unplug my land line (just in case) so he could make the evening call, as soon as I heard the words, 'love you to' he was promptly shown the door!
So, yes, will always be a no no for me, so my profile does and has always stated no married men, and from now on, no excuses or explanations are necessary |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Blimey, this thread has taken a different turn! I was more trying to make the point of people respecting other people's preferences and taking a no as a no without demanding an explanation.
exactly. I guess it was inevitable it would turn into criticisms of those who choose to play away
whatever the 'reasons' that people 'play away', there are many who have been badly hurt and had their relationship destroyed..
thats one reason why there will allways be criticism..
agreed but the point was not really the primary reason for the OP seeking comment.
Whether people believe it or not, I am not actually in that scenario myself but do take offence to incorrect presumptive comments
all threads will have several elements and will often go off in different directions, allways happens..
why take offence if your not in that scenario..?
"
i) incorrect presumptive comments as per the above. I hate stereotypes
ii) I do feel people are quick to jump on single males on the forum quite often. I am not defending cheating but the lady who posted jumped to the conclusion that all who had commented were cheats.
The point I originally made was perhaps a bit silly in that I said that by not meeting she had already Judged them. At no point have I posted in an attempt to defend those who do cheat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Funny thing, I actually like meeting women who are married playing away (women also have needs).
Probably as its ultra no strings ha.
Great at being ultra discrete. Ive had two husbands call me up in past only for me to dispell any bad thoughts they had of their wives.
That being said- family keep asking why im not married/taken yet- this is why!. I love my freedom too much and I wouldn't be faithful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not all married me are cheating tough, Ian has his own profile, and i love him meeting others. Check him out hehe cum2u4fun
I
Love it when he comes home and tells me all about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some heavy stuff going on here about this very emotive subject
If we assume that the OP was pointed at male to female contacts - shouldnt we not exclude the other way round
When i was swinging on AFF with my ex - we had masses of married fems pretending to single in order to find sex and i am sure same on here.
but this is not restricted to females ok - recently I have organised a MMF meeting and have suffered same fate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im not sure the suggestion that females playing away would be tolerated by some members of this forum but you are spot on! This is one of my points about stereotyping |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Females playing away seems to be tolersted more by men. Women tend to be intolerant of people cheating across the board. And as we've sen on this very post, men are mire likely to meet an attached female without her partners knowledge. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've got to agree with the OP, as the reasons and thoughts echo my own sentiments, and I don't get involved with attached or married people playing alone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funny thing, I actually like meeting women who are married playing away (women also have needs).
Probably as its ultra no strings ha.
Great at being ultra discrete. Ive had two husbands call me up in past only for me to dispell any bad thoughts they had of their wives.
That being said- family keep asking why im not married/taken yet- this is why!. I love my freedom too much and I wouldn't be faithful."
Ultra no strings?? And yet you have clearly go on to say how 2 husbands have called you.. Far far from no strings right there! Lol
No strings means no hassles in anyway..
As for the no strings debate, everyone has potential to get emotions involved.. Just cos someone is married why would that stop them letting their feelings run away. I'm pretty sure a lot of marrieds wouldn't be on here if they were so happy in love.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh and also I see so many cheaters in relationships cos they don't want to be alone but don't want to be with the person they are either..
So there is that risk that the cheater is clingy and needy..
So apart from the huge strings of a cheater being attached to the family thwy are cheating on but there is certainly no extra guarentees of them not falling for you.
Also on the flip side, a lot of singles are single because they choose to be and don't want to change that. They aren't single cos they have to be or cos they feel they have to have someone love them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd been wondering when this post was going to take a turn towards morality and how vile 'cheating' swingers are.
I really don't know what some people think this swinging thing is all about. A widely acceptable social pastime perharps. I think not because the morals some so strongly flaunt here about the evils of 'cheating' swingers won't stand for anything when your neighbours, friends and family find out what you secretly get up to with strangs on here.
I personally don't care if a person is married or not when I meet them. The same rule of NSA, no grief, no hassle, no drama meet applies. However, I don't begrudge anyone who decides not to meet married singles. That is their choice and prerogative. However, if they cannot be satisfied with this and decide to go all out to preach the evils of cheating to whoever cares to listen, then they really need to see someone because I believe there are underlying issues that need exorcising.
A the core of swinging is Live & Let Live, as long as it is happening between consenting adults. If I had a magic wand, I will not cast a spell to make swingers who choose not to meet married singles to change their minds because I believe in free will and personal responsibility. But if I pass the magic wand to some of the advocates of morality on here, I shudder to think what they will do to married singles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im not sure we want to get into a debate about morals but I think it can be construed that way. I think we would all agree we know someone who would turn their nose up at such a thought |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely this issue is more to do with people not taking no for an answer, whether they are single or married? "
Yes but mention the M word and its like red rags to bulls in here and all train of thought is lost.....along with the original point |
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"Hav'nt read all the thread so going to answer the OP question
I have always found that when ive said no thank you to married men they have always been happy to accept that and respected my decision with good grace
my wife wasnt happy though...she REALLY wanted to taste ur pussy flava on my cock"
There is something seriously wrong with you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Curved you seem to be obsessed with my knickers. Cheeky "
Lol Olivia I'm not really obsessed with them it's what they are hiding I wouldn't mind getting to see |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im not sure we want to get into a debate about morals but I think it can be construed that way.
Speak for yourself! You can't include all of us in your "we".
"
Feel free to have the debate. I just can see it getting nasty albeit if the posts were limited to constructive comment it would be interesting.
This has come about as one poster (I think correctly) commented that perhaps a swinging forum isn't the place to question someones morals given that in some peoples opinions it in self is immoral.
Quite an interesting one as I have never considered myself to be something immoral but here I am. Casual sex and sleeping with peoples wifes! |
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"Im not sure we want to get into a debate about morals but I think it can be construed that way.
Speak for yourself! You can't include all of us in your "we".
Feel free to have the debate. I just can see it getting nasty albeit if the posts were limited to constructive comment it would be interesting.
This has come about as one poster (I think correctly) commented that perhaps a swinging forum isn't the place to question someones morals given that in some peoples opinions it in self is immoral.
Quite an interesting one as I have never considered myself to be something immoral but here I am. Casual sex and sleeping with peoples wifes!"
I don't particularly want a debate, it does get nasty I've seen it and been involved in the debates. It was your use of the word "we" ...including me in your desicion was bound to make me argue with you
For the record I believe that if someone turns you down whatever the reason you should retreat with dignity.
We don't knowingly play with married men. I only give my opinion on that subject if a married man comes in to the forums asking why no one will meet him and then tries to justify his position, other than that I have learnt to keep my mouth shut on the subject.
As far as morals are concerned I try to stick to my personal code and let everyone else to and stick to theirs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I myself am married. I am on here with my wife's consent, she is also on here too but we play separately. Our marriage is a loving one and we have no issues but just want to experiment with other people.
When swinging is ever mentioned it normally is people in relationships swinging with other people but seems now single people have taken up the roles and married couples are frowned upon.
To answer the opening post however the guy should have accepted a no, at least he got a reply, my messages normally get deleted with no reply at all. |
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By *livia_K OP Woman
over a year ago
South London |
"OMG what have I created?
Certainly seems to have drifted off topic from the OP.
You ever thought about a career in politics?? "
Well I am currently sitting here swearing at Question Time on the telly... |
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"OMG what have I created?
Certainly seems to have drifted off topic from the OP.
You ever thought about a career in politics??
Well I am currently sitting here swearing at Question Time on the telly..."
Lol, you and half the nation I suspect |
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