FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > thanks but no thanks...
thanks but no thanks...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Morning poppets xx
I was wondering how people when seeing face pictures and not being attracted say no.
I cringe everytime I come to send it as im clearly saying no based on looks. I know thats shallow ect but lets face it would many have sex with someone they werent physically attracted to?
Anyway looking forward as ever to your tips and advice
ck
Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont think thats shallow on being attracted to looks. I certainly wldnt hv sex wiv a guy i didnt fancy. I cldnt kiss or get naked wiv sumone i wasnt attracted to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Morning poppets xx
I was wondering how people when seeing face pictures and not being attracted say no.
I cringe everytime I come to send it as im clearly saying no based on looks. I know thats shallow ect but lets face it would many have sex with someone they werent physically attracted to?
Anyway looking forward as ever to your tips and advice
ck
Xxx"
We had a couple who turned us down after we'd sent face pictures and they did it in a really good way that we have adopted ever since...we say "thanks for sending your pictures, on reflection, you're not for us but thanks anyway and happy swinging!" We've never had people who've had issues with that approach. We don't however enter into dialogue with them after that and delete any messages they've sent us as a clear indicator to them that we're really not interested
It's not shallow to expect to be attracted to someone you're choosing to have sex with...it may hurt their feelings to an extent but at least you're being open from an early point in the interaction...
Hope this helps |
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Pele have to live in the real world and understand that they are not attractive to everyone. Going silent all of a sudden is a bit frustrating so I would prefer a simple 'thanks but no thanks', that what I send if the attraction isn't there for me. Nothing wrong with being honest  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I usually turn fir a meet wuv a bag over me head n that solves the 'looks goyjus' issue - altho I use a quality bag like waitrose not Aldi - tho if I'm desperate I'll use s Tesco bag (cos every little helps! ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My profile asks for a face pic on first msg - this mostly happens if they arent for me ie im not attracted to them, then I just say "sorry but its a polite no thank you but have fun", havent had any abuse at all |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Pele have to live in the real world and understand that they are not attractive to everyone. Going silent all of a sudden is a bit frustrating so I would prefer a simple 'thanks but no thanks', that what I send if the attraction isn't there for me. Nothing wrong with being honest "
For a moment there I thought Pele had more issues on top of penile dysfunction  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"seems fairly normal to me .. or did you think the rest of us just shag anything with a pulse ?"
Well no though you 'single men' have a reputation! The shallow comment was to combat someone jumping in and calling me shallow first!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not shallow at all and there's got to be some attraction. We send a polite thanks but no thanks message wishing them all the best and never had abuse from couples but sadly can't say the same for single guys unless the reply comes from Mr even though it's Ms typing it! We've been turned down after sending face pics and we're fine with that as the whole point of sending face pics is to establish if there's an attraction or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes a face picture doesn't do the person any justice. Some people are photogenic other aren't. Therefore people can look much better in real life than in a picture. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes a face picture doesn't do the person any justice. Some people are photogenic other aren't. Therefore people can look much better in real life than in a picture."
Thats a good point. I've played with people I've met at parties and socials that I would probably have said no to on the basis of a face pic but have just really clicked and had a great time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We got blocked once after sending pics LOL.... may be we new them allready he he he .... either that or they thought ugly sods  x  "
So have we. We just thought it was to save either party messaging again accidentally after it's been established that there's no attraction. |
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There has to be some attraction that is why we ask for a face pic and to be honest we have probably turned down a few meets where if we met in a club we would probably have played, but rather miss a few than have the embarrassment of arranging the meet and not being attracted to the guy. |
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I do not think it is shallow! If you were in a club you would select a partner based on looks so saying no based on a pic is approximately the same.
It is awkward to say no after you've chatted for a bit.
What I find rude are men I contact, send face pics to who then say I'm sexy and then stop communicating. I would prefer they said "unfortunately you are not what I'm looking for"! |
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We like to see if there is a "spark" there between us all and thats not just based on the physical attraction but also how we all get on/conversation/shared interests(swinging and otherwise)So photos initially help but since we are no "oil paintings" personality plays a significant part. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no problems with refusals on this basis. Although few and far between.
I have also turned others down.
It's a swinging site not one to find life partners.
Is it shallow to judge people that way?
Maybe but swingers pretty much by definition are shallow people aren't we? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes a face picture doesn't do the person any justice. Some people are photogenic other aren't. Therefore people can look much better in real life than in a picture."
I can make people look a heck of a lot worse too! :D
I've lost count of the amount of times my clients say 'oh but I'm just not photogenic', but once you show them a few nice pics throughout the session they get so much more confident and relaxed.
The camera won't miraculously transform an ogre into a prince, but you'd be surprised at how much difference a good photographer and controlled lighting can make.
Besides, no matter how good/bad looking someone is, most still look better with their face in the pillow and arse in the air.  |
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"
Well no though you 'single men' have a reputation! The shallow comment was to combat someone jumping in and calling me shallow first!! "
ok fair play about the shallow bit .. but I am a woman ... I know me tits aint that big but .....!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Morning poppets xx
I was wondering how people when seeing face pictures and not being attracted say no.
I cringe everytime I come to send it as im clearly saying no based on looks. I know thats shallow ect but lets face it would many have sex with someone they werent physically attracted to?
Anyway looking forward as ever to your tips and advice
ck
Xxx"
Get this all the time but I'm honest say not for me thank you but I wish you well xx
9 times out of 10 I get a message back saying thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Morning poppets xx
I was wondering how people when seeing face pictures and not being attracted say no.
I cringe everytime I come to send it as im clearly saying no based on looks. I know thats shallow ect but lets face it would many have sex with someone they werent physically attracted to?
Anyway looking forward as ever to your tips and advice
ck
Xxx"
Love this thread! I agree with everyone.. We might be liberated but it doesn't mean we shag anything with a pulse! You have to have some amount of attraction other wise how can you have fun
- Mrs Edel x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I class my self as not to bad looking as i seem to get attention when i am out but on theis site...............well lets say i have only met one person in a few years. |
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"Sometimes a face picture doesn't do the person any justice. Some people are photogenic other aren't. Therefore people can look much better in real life than in a picture.
Thats a good point. I've played with people I've met at parties and socials that I would probably have said no to on the basis of a face pic but have just really clicked and had a great time."
The same here.
But when choosing through the site all we have to go on is the profile, any messages and the face pic. So we have to be shallow. Especially if I have a few free hours and ten possibles to choose from!
I do try to see a face pic early on though, and I refuse to get drawn into salacious, flirty chat until we've met. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no problems with refusals on this basis. Although few and far between.
I have also turned others down.
It's a swinging site not one to find life partners.
Is it shallow to judge people that way?
Maybe but swingers pretty much by definition are shallow people aren't we?"
You speak for yourself  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Well no though you 'single men' have a reputation! The shallow comment was to combat someone jumping in and calling me shallow first!!
ok fair play about the shallow bit .. but I am a woman ... I know me tits aint that big but .....!!! "
Omg!!!! I misread the MF bit im so sorry and on my phone so teeny tiny pics...  I am going to go perv on your pics to retrain myself |
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"Pele have to live in the real world and understand that they are not attractive to everyone. Going silent all of a sudden is a bit frustrating so I would prefer a simple 'thanks but no thanks', that what I send if the attraction isn't there for me. Nothing wrong with being honest
For a moment there I thought Pele had more issues on top of penile dysfunction "
My fingers and typing on a phone is not a good mix. Grammar and spelling police would have a field day with me, when really, I need the typing police. |
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