FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why is it so hard for men on this site
Why is it so hard for men on this site
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Actually you've been here 7 weeks and have had two meets last month alone, that's pretty good going, how many meets did you want? was you planning on packing up life and meeting daily?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because loads of them whinge about absolutely bloody everything and want it all without putting any effort it
Btw I love single guys "
but but but...shag me n shurrup x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes iv been scratching my head and I'm still clueless why do men on this site have a harder time trying to get laid then women. "
Because some are trying to get laid!!
Others are trying to have fun and enjoy good company - whether that results in getting 'laid', having a drink and a good chat , casual flirting - or just looking for something different than a quick legover!!
Lose the expectancy - you'll tend to find life on here a much happier existence!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because loads of them whinge about absolutely bloody everything and want it all without putting any effort it
Btw I love single guys
but but but...shag me n shurrup x"
Can't im off to get ready to get lost in the Cambridgeshire wilderness! |
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I agree with all of what you people are saying and thank you for commenting but iv been on here a year now and nothing and the only verifications I have are through friends that i have fun with now and again but not as often as I would like to hence why I'm on here to meet new people make friends ect I do read profiles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree with all of what you people are saying and thank you for commenting but iv been on here a year now and nothing and the only verifications I have are through friends that i have fun with now and again but not as often as I would like to hence why I'm on here to meet new people make friends ect I do read profiles "
A year? That's not what your profile says? |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I'm not moaning or whining it just seems abit weird and just so you know I haven't seen any other posts so I didn't know that this subject has been brought up before"
Its brought up a lot! |
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"I agree with all of what you people are saying and thank you for commenting but iv been on here a year now and nothing and the only verifications I have are through friends that i have fun with now and again but not as often as I would like to hence why I'm on here to meet new people make friends ect I do read profiles
A year? That's not what your profile says?"
I haven't used the same profile every time I delete the whole profile when I get bored or when I get unwanted attention |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Yes iv been scratching my head and I'm still clueless why do men on this site have a harder time trying to get laid then women. "
Depends - I've not got a meet for tonight in spite of having had an ad up. Took it down in exasperation due to the number of men completely outside my preferences messaging assuming I was a sure thing because I advertised - as if I had thrown out all my values and standards. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But to be blunt your profile is poorly written and comes across a more than a little desperate. You want to get laid and make up for lost time and don;t care who with is the basic jist of it. Do you think that people will find that appealling? |
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Its the same on every site of this type, you have your idiots who then put the ladies off, you then have your married guys pretending to be single who then put the ladies off, then you have the normal single decent guys who have trouble because of the first two groups of men. Yes i find it hard and ive just had a moan about the age thing, but i still treat the women and couples i talk to with respect. Im polite, genuine and honest and have a few friends who would vouch for that. All i will say is be yourself and as long as your what you say you are eventually it will sort itself out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree with all of what you people are saying and thank you for commenting but iv been on here a year now and nothing and the only verifications I have are through friends that i have fun with now and again but not as often as I would like to hence why I'm on here to meet new people make friends ect I do read profiles
A year? That's not what your profile says? I haven't used the same profile every time I delete the whole profile when I get bored or when I get unwanted attention "
do the mingers keep mailing you? |
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"Because loads of them whinge about absolutely bloody everything and want it all without putting any effort it
Btw I love single guys "
that's the thing I don't whinge and I do put effort in but I ether get blocked or ignored witch is fine by me but when I message lady's I don't even sex intill we've spoke abit to get to know a little about each other or even meet for a coffee |
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"I agree with all of what you people are saying and thank you for commenting but iv been on here a year now and nothing and the only verifications I have are through friends that i have fun with now and again but not as often as I would like to hence why I'm on here to meet new people make friends ect I do read profiles
A year? That's not what your profile says? I haven't used the same profile every time I delete the whole profile when I get bored or when I get unwanted attention
do the mingers keep mailing you? "
lol no I'm picky but if I'm not interested I won't ignore them |
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"But to be blunt your profile is poorly written and comes across a more than a little desperate. You want to get laid and make up for lost time and don;t care who with is the basic jist of it. Do you think that people will find that appealling?"
I viewed a few guys profiles in the beginning to try to get an idea on what to write but even now i question what i have put, does it look like im desperate and things like that. To be honest when i get a meet im more than happy to meet without there being sex involved right away. You just have to be patient. It will come when the time is right. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I think people forget they are not entitled to anything on here. Not a message, or meet, or even a wink! It's a bit off putting when people come across thinking they are entitled to all of that and more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the more a guy deletes his profile the more it gets 'harder'...at least u have some regular friends
but if I see a verify that says, "met this guy last year blahhblahh"...its not gonna make me jump to meet...ppl like consistency sorry...basic fact
now learn and hide ur profile when ur bored |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Sheer numbers
law of the jungle rules on here . Huge numbers of guys , it's a candy shop for the ladies . Just wish there was a site where the roles are reversed  "
Any train spotting forum |
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"Its the same on every site of this type, you have your idiots who then put the ladies off, you then have your married guys pretending to be single who then put the ladies off, then you have the normal single decent guys who have trouble because of the first two groups of men. Yes i find it hard and ive just had a moan about the age thing, but i still treat the women and couples i talk to with respect. Im polite, genuine and honest and have a few friends who would vouch for that. All i will say is be yourself and as long as your what you say you are eventually it will sort itself out."
I agree with you all the way I respect women 100% I'm honest genuine and il do anything to make people laugh
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because loads of them whinge about absolutely bloody everything and want it all without putting any effort it
Btw I love single guys
but but but...shag me n shurrup x
Can't im off to get ready to get lost in the Cambridgeshire wilderness! "
wear that sexy catsuit i sent u..wait...forgot..i sent that to someone else..I'll get it back...if he hasnt ripped it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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in an ugly git and couldn't pull a donkey but realise my potential and manage my own expectations....so know my target audiance are blind...
That or they give me 20p and tell me to call someone that cares.....
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"I think people forget they are not entitled to anything on here. Not a message, or meet, or even a wink! It's a bit off putting when people come across thinking they are entitled to all of that and more."
very true  |
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"But to be blunt your profile is poorly written and comes across a more than a little desperate. You want to get laid and make up for lost time and don;t care who with is the basic jist of it. Do you think that people will find that appealling?
I viewed a few guys profiles in the beginning to try to get an idea on what to write but even now i question what i have put, does it look like im desperate and things like that. To be honest when i get a meet im more than happy to meet without there being sex involved right away. You just have to be patient. It will come when the time is right."
to be honest when I wrote that I didn't realize it came across that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its the same on every site of this type, you have your idiots who then put the ladies off, you then have your married guys pretending to be single who then put the ladies off, then you have the normal single decent guys who have trouble because of the first two groups of men. Yes i find it hard and ive just had a moan about the age thing, but i still treat the women and couples i talk to with respect. Im polite, genuine and honest and have a few friends who would vouch for that. All i will say is be yourself and as long as your what you say you are eventually it will sort itself out. I agree with you all the way I respect women 100% I'm honest genuine and il do anything to make people laugh "
When you say you respect women 100%. Does that include the ex that you slag off on your profile?  |
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"But to be blunt your profile is poorly written and comes across a more than a little desperate. You want to get laid and make up for lost time and don;t care who with is the basic jist of it. Do you think that people will find that appealling?
I viewed a few guys profiles in the beginning to try to get an idea on what to write but even now i question what i have put, does it look like im desperate and things like that. To be honest when i get a meet im more than happy to meet without there being sex involved right away. You just have to be patient. It will come when the time is right. to be honest when I wrote that I didn't realize it came across that "
like that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think people forget they are not entitled to anything on here. Not a message, or meet, or even a wink! It's a bit off putting when people come across thinking they are entitled to all of that and more. very true "
That is probably the best bit of advice that you have been given on this entire thread. The sooner people realise that, then the better. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
When you say you respect women 100%. Does that include the ex that you slag off on your profile? "
yeah... have to admit i did notice that and thought "oooooooooooh"
like running someone else over in that big old bus of yours will say to people "my god he is fantastic... my knickers have dropped off!"
but in a way no pointers... because if he has been here a year, and can't figure things out like that.... then why should people help??? |
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"Its the same on every site of this type, you have your idiots who then put the ladies off, you then have your married guys pretending to be single who then put the ladies off, then you have the normal single decent guys who have trouble because of the first two groups of men. Yes i find it hard and ive just had a moan about the age thing, but i still treat the women and couples i talk to with respect. Im polite, genuine and honest and have a few friends who would vouch for that. All i will say is be yourself and as long as your what you say you are eventually it will sort itself out. I agree with you all the way I respect women 100% I'm honest genuine and il do anything to make people laugh
When you say you respect women 100%. Does that include the ex that you slag off on your profile? "
I do respect her for being the mother of the four amazing children we had together, but not for walking out on me straight into the arms of my best friend and then lying to everyone including the courts about this small fact, and a few other things that do not need mentioning |
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"Its the same on every site of this type, you have your idiots who then put the ladies off, you then have your married guys pretending to be single who then put the ladies off, then you have the normal single decent guys who have trouble because of the first two groups of men. Yes i find it hard and ive just had a moan about the age thing, but i still treat the women and couples i talk to with respect. Im polite, genuine and honest and have a few friends who would vouch for that. All i will say is be yourself and as long as your what you say you are eventually it will sort itself out. I agree with you all the way I respect women 100% I'm honest genuine and il do anything to make people laugh
When you say you respect women 100%. Does that include the ex that you slag off on your profile? "
I was a victim of domestic violence so no I don't slag her off even though she put me through hell YES I still have respect for women |
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"I think people forget they are not entitled to anything on here. Not a message, or meet, or even a wink! It's a bit off putting when people come across thinking they are entitled to all of that and more. very true
That is probably the best bit of advice that you have been given on this entire thread. The sooner people realise that, then the better. "
I agree with you il just have to work like a gentleman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think people forget they are not entitled to anything on here. Not a message, or meet, or even a wink! It's a bit off putting when people come across thinking they are entitled to all of that and more. very true
That is probably the best bit of advice that you have been given on this entire thread. The sooner people realise that, then the better. I agree with you il just have to work like a gentleman "
Better still, actually be one |
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"I think people forget they are not entitled to anything on here. Not a message, or meet, or even a wink! It's a bit off putting when people come across thinking they are entitled to all of that and more. very true
That is probably the best bit of advice that you have been given on this entire thread. The sooner people realise that, then the better. I agree with you il just have to work like a gentleman
Better still, actually be one "
that I am and proud of it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"with all the threads about this you have no clue?
really? yep no clue but yet this is the first time iv noticed there was a forum"
Welcome to the forums then
They're pretty much what keeps me here
Much better than telly any day  |
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By *opinovMan
over a year ago
Point Nemo, Cumbria |
"Sheer numbers
law of the jungle rules on here . Huge numbers of guys , it's a candy shop for the ladies . Just wish there was a site where the roles are reversed
Any train spotting forum "
Really?...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sheer numbers
law of the jungle rules on here . Huge numbers of guys , it's a candy shop for the ladies . Just wish there was a site where the roles are reversed
Any train spotting forum
Really?... "
I would've gone with the Good Housekeeping forums, the Knitting Weekly socials, or the lesser known (but still very popular with the ladies) clubvadgemeup.com.
It's easy to stand out when there's no competition.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes iv been scratching my head and I'm still clueless why do men on this site have a harder time trying to get laid then women. "
Actually the number of genuine men are far less than you think. A lot of the guys on this site are time wasters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I was a single woman the first line of your profile about being bored would stop me reading any further...sorry but my purpose in life is not to relieve anyone's boredom...and I generally find people who complain about being bored are...well, frankly...boring and not worth my time... |
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"with all the threads about this you have no clue?
really? yep no clue but yet this is the first time iv noticed there was a forum
Welcome to the forums then
They're pretty much what keeps me here
Much better than telly any day "
You are so so so right!! |
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A well written profile is a good start, I think. Only a very small percentage of people on fab use the fora, so chartroom might be busier, go to a social, go to a club. All the advice you need in numerous similar posts just do a search. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree with all of what you people are saying and thank you for commenting but iv been on here a year now and nothing and the only verifications I have are through friends that i have fun with now and again but not as often as I would like to hence why I'm on here to meet new people make friends ect I do read profiles
A year? That's not what your profile says? I haven't used the same profile every time I delete the whole profile when I get bored or when I get unwanted attention "
I am guessing the unwanted attention is from guys in which case use the filters to block them. |
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Too many guys concentrate on what they want and totally ignore what they can offer the lady
put a lot more effort in to pleasing the lady and finding out what she wants from you and and what you can do to match that.
always treat the lady with respect and don't be pushy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Women will always have the power when it comes to sex and meets!!! Also don't think that the majority of men help themselves when they let the girls down on meets.....I did say majority
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By *im53Man
over a year ago
Boldon |
"Too many guys concentrate on what they want and totally ignore what they can offer the lady
put a lot more effort in to pleasing the lady and finding out what she wants from you and and what you can do to match that.
always treat the lady with respect and don't be pushy "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes iv been scratching my head and I'm still clueless why do men on this site have a harder time trying to get laid then women.
Because some are trying to get laid!!
Others are trying to have fun and enjoy good company - whether that results in getting 'laid', having a drink and a good
chat , casual flirting - or just looking for something different than a quick legover!!
Lose the expectancy - you'll tend to find life on here a much happier existence!!"
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Rant Mode Engage
In our experience most single guys tend to think with their cocks and only seem interested in meeting now or this evening. Thankfully these guys are often easy to spot as their profile piccies usually contain nothing but erect cock shots. There are many many cocks on this site to choose from, but so few personalities on offer.
Additionally, we often get the feeling that many guys use a scatter-gun approach to as many women and/or couples as possible while using as few words as possible. We don't usually respond to these messages, as from our perspective, it sometimes feels like guys are mistaking swinging with prostitution.
I suspect we're not alone in wanting to spend a week exchanging mail (yes more than 1 line), webcamming and speaking on the phone before meeting somebody new. Yes this takes a little time and effort but consider it an investment.
In conclusion, I'm sure many guys would find far more success if they adopted a "next weekend" approach and took the time to make a personal connection. The guys with long lists of verifications probably discovered this simple fact long ago.
Rant Mode Cancel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Rant Mode Engage
In our experience most single guys tend to think with their cocks and only seem interested in meeting now or this evening. Thankfully these guys are often easy to spot as their profile piccies usually contain nothing but erect cock shots. There are many many cocks on this site to choose from, but so few personalities on offer.
Additionally, we often get the feeling that many guys use a scatter-gun approach to as many women and/or couples as possible while using as few words as possible. We don't usually respond to these messages, as from our perspective, it sometimes feels like guys are mistaking swinging with prostitution.
I suspect we're not alone in wanting to spend a week exchanging mail (yes more than 1 line), webcamming and speaking on the phone before meeting somebody new. Yes this takes a little time and effort but consider it an investment.
In conclusion, I'm sure many guys would find far more success if they adopted a "next weekend" approach and took the time to make a personal connection. The guys with long lists of verifications probably discovered this simple fact long ago.
Rant Mode Cancel "
And as for next weekend - I have plans for July and September made already!!
Think "long haul" not "short haul" ! |
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" Rant Mode Engage
In our experience most single guys tend to think with their cocks and only seem interested in meeting now or this evening. Thankfully these guys are often easy to spot as their profile piccies usually contain nothing but erect cock shots. There are many many cocks on this site to choose from, but so few personalities on offer.
Additionally, we often get the feeling that many guys use a scatter-gun approach to as many women and/or couples as possible while using as few words as possible. We don't usually respond to these messages, as from our perspective, it sometimes feels like guys are mistaking swinging with prostitution.
I suspect we're not alone in wanting to spend a week exchanging mail (yes more than 1 line), webcamming and speaking on the phone before meeting somebody new. Yes this takes a little time and effort but consider it an investment.
In conclusion, I'm sure many guys would find far more success if they adopted a "next weekend" approach and took the time to make a personal connection. The guys with long lists of verifications probably discovered this simple fact long ago.
Rant Mode Cancel "
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Sheer numbers
law of the jungle rules on here . Huge numbers of guys , it's a candy shop for the ladies . Just wish there was a site where the roles are reversed
Any train spotting forum
LOL .... I really asked for that didn't I ???? Do sexy ladies go on those sites   "
I know a few. To be honest you'd probably have more luck as the other men are only interested in trains. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its the numbers .. are there any stats about to confirm this  "
I mentioned before that I once counted the number of new members who joined within a two hour period, they were something along the lines of
Women: 8
Couples: 12
Males: 38
Puts things into perspective a bit eh? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sheer numbers
law of the jungle rules on here . Huge numbers of guys , it's a candy shop for the ladies . Just wish there was a site where the roles are reversed
Any train spotting forum
LOL .... I really asked for that didn't I ???? Do sexy ladies go on those sites "
i do but i work with the trains  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont actually think its hard on this site for a meet.
Lately i met a few people who was not verified and had no issues..
I think if you are genuine honest it shows on the profile and when you meet x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lol easy, its the same in life, a woman can click her fingers when out and about not just on here no matter if she ain't the good to look at, and there will always be some guy who will fuck her. Its a fuck at the end of the day.
Guys cant do that even if some guys think they can. |
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Does this question really need answering!!!
Its plain and simple, a large majority of "single guys" behave like idiots!
Ask any woman/couple on the site, they typically send a one line email wanting a shag and then cant understand why they get rejected....and then the abuse starts!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I was a single woman the first line of your profile about being bored would stop me reading any further...sorry but my purpose in life is not to relieve anyone's boredom...and I generally find people who complain about being bored are...well, frankly...boring and not worth my time..."
Totally agree...here for fun not to provide a distraction. Also those who say they aren't bothered about looks or anything like that come across to me as either liars or desperate...I wouldn't have sex with someone I wasn't attracted to and wouldn't want to meet someone with an 'any holes a goal' mentality which is how that statement reads to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its not hard to get meets if you`re willing to shag the first thing that comes along
some of us guys are a bit pickier "
Surely men don't shag the first person that comes along |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its not hard to get meets if you`re willing to shag the first thing that comes along
some of us guys are a bit pickier
Surely men don't shag the first person that comes along "
No, quality men are discerning. I think you're well nice, Floro. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its not hard to get meets if you`re willing to shag the first thing that comes along
some of us guys are a bit pickier
Surely men don't shag the first person that comes along "
Many do however, and sadly sheer weight of numbers means that such guys are the ones who steer the general perception of the modern single male - its rather sad when you think about it, how womens profiles will often state that they only want to hear from 'exceptional' guys - basically meaning that they perceive qualities such as charisma, intelligence, strength, wit and good looks unusual amongst the male userbase on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Try being on here for two years, with all the attributes that most women dont want lol. That is when it becomes frustrating...but i love a good laugh on this site, so cant complain.
Sex is sex. Im not going to lose any sleep over it. Be nice to have some meets though..if it does happen lol.
Welcome to fab  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To your original question:
Ratio of men to females far outweighs the ladies..
A major factor is the quality of a guy's profile.. Your's for instance starts of negative and will instantly put couples and ladies off you!!
If you message people try and be different in you approach to them.. Incorparate references of their profile in the message and include a little subtle humour..
The lifestyle is not all about getting laid as you put it, to which I find that terminology off-putting.
Take the above as advice and constructive criticism!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To many idiots on here which means genuine men don't get a look in "
I don't agree with this,I think its a cop out to blame lack of success on other people,in fact its the idiots that make the genuine men shine more brightly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To many idiots on here which means genuine men don't get a look in "
Everytime I hear the phrase 'genuine men' I laugh!
Every guy on site is 'genuine' - unless it's a woman in disguise! (And let's face it - how likely is that!)
Anyone who blames anyone else on site for the lack of what they percieve as 'success' is using the worlds biggest cop out - blame someone else because what you are doing yourself isn't working!
And the sooner people wise up to that the less likely it is they will moan on site! |
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"To many idiots on here which means genuine men don't get a look in
Everytime I hear the phrase 'genuine men' I laugh!
Every guy on site is 'genuine' - unless it's a woman in disguise! (And let's face it - how likely is that!)
Anyone who blames anyone else on site for the lack of what they percieve as 'success' is using the worlds biggest cop out - blame someone else because what you are doing yourself isn't working!
And the sooner people wise up to that the less likely it is they will moan on site! "
Here, here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To many idiots on here which means genuine men don't get a look in
I don't agree with this,I think its a cop out to blame lack of success on other people,in fact its the idiots that make the genuine men shine more brightly "
I agree with this. And women can afford to be choosy, but being choosy doesnt seem to get me anywhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The ratio men to women, Blokes who lie and bullshit to get a woman, then she is let down, so she gets the hump with men for a while; read the statuses for proof.
And, it does take a fair bit of trust and attraction to get down naked and sexy...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The ratio men to women, Blokes who lie and bullshit to get a woman, then she is let down, so she gets the hump with men for a while; read the statuses for proof.
And, it does take a fair bit of trust and attraction to get down naked and sexy...
"
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"the more a guy deletes his profile the more it gets 'harder'...at least u have some regular friends
but if I see a verify that says, "met this guy last year blahhblahh"...its not gonna make me jump to meet...ppl like consistency sorry...basic fact
now learn and hide ur profile when ur bored"
cool I will do next time |
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"To your original question:
Ratio of men to females far outweighs the ladies..
A major factor is the quality of a guy's profile.. Your's for instance starts of negative and will instantly put couples and ladies off you!!
If you message people try and be different in you approach to them.. Incorparate references of their profile in the message and include a little subtle humour..
The lifestyle is not all about getting laid as you put it, to which I find that terminology off-putting.
Take the above as advice and constructive criticism!!"
will do and have done thank you for the advise |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
see... i don't think it is hard as such.. but i do think the excuse is in effect a kop out...
there is a sense of "entitlement" in some that because they are here, they are owed a meet.....
those who do put in the effort do get meets..... those who get it and understand it do get meets... |
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