FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > asking too much??
asking too much??
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I love the social aspects of the fab lifestyle just as much (perhaps even sometimes more) as the sex, and I don't want notches on my bed posts....I want a few regular "friends with benefits" who I can have fun with in and out of the bedroom, but it seems lately, there are hordes of people on here that, in reality, just want a fuck, probably just once and then move on....am I being naive wanting more from this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The problem is that when people become friends with benefits it can start causing all sorts of issues if not kept in check, so alot of people will have a meet for so long or so many times rule, just to keep that from happening, however if you want friends with benifits there's nothing stopping you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone wants different and whatever you are looking for there will be others looking for the same, just stick to young guns and meet people who meet your own personal needs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Everyone wants different and whatever you are looking for there will be others looking for the same, just stick to young guns and meet people who meet your own personal needs"
I'm very fussy about who I meet anyway  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have discussed this and we do play with people in a semi regular basis say 3 or 4 times a year we also have one offs in clubs and so on, so a bit of both for us we certainly don't want to live in other people's pockets and have vanilla friends for vanilla activities |
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"just seems there's been a big wave of newish members who want to meet, fuck, go and thats it....not what this lifestyle is about for me..."
I kind of agree, where someone is just a piece of meat for consumption, rather than a human being.
One of my parents died recently, and I've felt more human than ever, and less inclined to just be used as faceless fuck-meat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just seems there's been a big wave of newish members who want to meet, fuck, go and thats it....not what this lifestyle is about for me...
I kind of agree, where someone is just a piece of meat for consumption, rather than a human being.
One of my parents died recently, and I've felt more human than ever, and less inclined to just be used as faceless fuck-meat."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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last time I was playing and using fab (about 5 years ago) I had two or three friends who I saw regularly for sex, bowling, dinner, cinema, drinks etc, was spot on for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone wants different and whatever you are looking for there will be others looking for the same, just stick to young guns and meet people who meet your own personal needs
I'm very fussy about who I meet anyway "
Me too....its hard to find wot I'm looking for too   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Regular playmates can be found. It is hard work sorting through the crap sometimes but they do exist! Persevere. There are some crackers to be found! Zx"
I used to have a few! Some have moved so I haven't seen ten for a while - but I still keep in touch and will definitely see again at some point!
I guess it's a question of balance and priorities - finding someone local enough for it to be practical whilst not getting to the stage where things run the risk of the dynamic changing in a way one doesn't wish. Clear boundaries and no expectancy are key - as is flexibility! |
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"I love the social aspects of the fab lifestyle just as much (perhaps even sometimes more) as the sex, and I don't want notches on my bed posts....I want a few regular "friends with benefits" who I can have fun with in and out of the bedroom, but it seems lately, there are hordes of people on here that, in reality, just want a fuck, probably just once and then move on....am I being naive wanting more from this? "
Absolutely spot on, when we go to clubs people seem interested in the play rooms but for us the most important place is the bar/social areas, that's where the whole interaction begins. Stimulate our minds and the rest will follow. Would much prefer clubs to push the social side of the lifestyle as well as the sex side.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Regular playmates can be found. It is hard work sorting through the crap sometimes but they do exist! Persevere. There are some crackers to be found! Zx
I used to have a few! Some have moved so I haven't seen ten for a while - but I still keep in touch and will definitely see again at some point!
I guess it's a question of balance and priorities - finding someone local enough for it to be practical whilst not getting to the stage where things run the risk of the dynamic changing in a way one doesn't wish. Clear boundaries and no expectancy are key - as is flexibility! "
a good point, well made as usual |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I prefer a shag n go.Ive never any intention of seeing the man again .simples "
each to their own
I'm not slating the people that want that, just wondering where all the people that want the same as me are  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"last time I was playing and using fab (about 5 years ago) I had two or three friends who I saw regularly for sex, bowling, dinner, cinema, drinks etc, was spot on for me "
Id like this for me. Just be a little difficult now and again to make it happen but id have a damn good go for mr right |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"last time I was playing and using fab (about 5 years ago) I had two or three friends who I saw regularly for sex, bowling, dinner, cinema, drinks etc, was spot on for me Id like this for me. Just be a little difficult now and again to make it happen but id have a damn good go for mr right"
was the best of both worlds! I get on better with men tbh so was nice to be able to do normal stuff too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"last time I was playing and using fab (about 5 years ago) I had two or three friends who I saw regularly for sex, bowling, dinner, cinema, drinks etc, was spot on for me Id like this for me. Just be a little difficult now and again to make it happen but id have a damn good go for mr right
was the best of both worlds! I get on better with men tbh so was nice to be able to do normal stuff too! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer to have fun with peeps that I can socialise and go out with as well as be naughty with them .
I started off just being a nameless fuck but soon felt very dissatisfied and preferred to find like minded peeps to be with .
I am off to spend the evening at a gig with a friend , and who knows what may happen .. I find this way more fun and satisfying and nothing wrong with finding a few friends who share similar interests with me .
I am always NSA and feel if we share common interests then having naughty fun enhances the friendship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Funny really, we were near enough talking about this same thing last night.
We meet up with a few couples just to socialise from the dogging site we are on. We just meet, natter, have a few drinks & it stops there.
We even do this with a couple of single guys & one lovely T-Girl.
Not everyone you meet is our cup of tea as I'm sure we're not theirs.
Perhaps that's why've we been thinking about trying a club to see what the social side of swinging is like.
We were wondering if we would also get this from this site.
Hey ho you never know & we'll sit back & take each step one at a time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just seems there's been a big wave of newish members who want to meet, fuck, go and thats it....not what this lifestyle is about for me..."
I think that newbies are like that because suddenly free licence and like being in a sweetie shop
Everyone has their different preferences though , it takes time to sift through to find like minded peeps |
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By *andd2Couple
over a year ago
The Dungeon |
We just want to meet, fuck and leave. Friends we have in our vanilla life; we don't want to share candle-lit dinners, go to the cinema, just 'hang out', go on shopping trips (unless it's to a sex shop) etc.
Join us at our hotel, a club, whatever, fuck us and let us fuck you and we'll be on our merry way.
If we enjoyed it we'll say hi again (same for you we hope) but, ffs, don't expect cards, cakes and facebook invites etc. It's a site for meeting others for sex. That's what it is, that's swinging folks. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I don't rely on fab for a social life at all, I just find sex much more enjoyable when I feel comfortable with that person and know them, why not enjoy other things with a friend as well as sex? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't rely on fab for a social life at all, I just find sex much more enjoyable when I feel comfortable with that person and know them, why not enjoy other things with a friend as well as sex? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Each to their own. We get out this site what we want. For me i prefer regular meets with the same guys, and then maybe spice it up by throwing someone new into the mix...
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"just seems there's been a big wave of newish members who want to meet, fuck, go and thats it....not what this lifestyle is about for me...
I kind of agree, where someone is just a piece of meat for consumption, rather than a human being.
One of my parents died recently, and I've felt more human than ever, and less inclined to just be used as faceless fuck-meat."
But neither is right or wrong, or better than the other ... faceless one off fucks are entirely awesome. But so is friends with benefits. There's so much to be had ... why turn down a possibly great one off fuck? Fucking is what we're all here for when it boils down to it. If friendship is what people want, that's available anywhere else. Sex is what this site is about. So it doesn't matter what surrounds it .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just seems there's been a big wave of newish members who want to meet, fuck, go and thats it....not what this lifestyle is about for me...
I kind of agree, where someone is just a piece of meat for consumption, rather than a human being.
One of my parents died recently, and I've felt more human than ever, and less inclined to just be used as faceless fuck-meat.
But neither is right or wrong, or better than the other ... faceless one off fucks are entirely awesome. But so is friends with benefits. There's so much to be had ... why turn down a possibly great one off fuck? Fucking is what we're all here for when it boils down to it. If friendship is what people want, that's available anywhere else. Sex is what this site is about. So it doesn't matter what surrounds it ...."
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"just seems there's been a big wave of newish members who want to meet, fuck, go and thats it....not what this lifestyle is about for me...
I think that newbies are like that because suddenly free licence and like being in a sweetie shop
Everyone has their different preferences though , it takes time to sift through to find like minded peeps "
Totally agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I've been swinging more years than I care to admit too and I have zero interest in finding a fwb/fb.
I enjoy a fuck and go, I enjoy a swinging club for that very reason.
For me, swinging is nsa, not a part time/mid term relationship. I guess it depends on your idea of swinging |
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"Well I've been swinging more years than I care to admit too and I have zero interest in finding a fwb/fb.
I enjoy a fuck and go, I enjoy a swinging club for that very reason.
For me, swinging is nsa, not a part time/mid term relationship. I guess it depends on your idea of swinging "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love the social aspects of the fab lifestyle just as much (perhaps even sometimes more) as the sex, and I don't want notches on my bed posts....I want a few regular "friends with benefits" who I can have fun with in and out of the bedroom, but it seems lately, there are hordes of people on here that, in reality, just want a fuck, probably just once and then move on....am I being naive wanting more from this? "
me too at last someone else like me I like the friendship and the chats and banter I do like a regular friend xx |
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I enjoy getting to know someone and know their body and what turns then on. I had a meet on Sunday where I did something with the guy that he'd never done before he loved it needless to say but being able to build up Trust with someone (s) allows you to feel comfortable to explore boundaries and try new stuff. Xx |
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