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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Is it just me? but I do shake my head a little with dismay when those I message just DELETE without even reading. I know ladies get FAR too much mail to be able to read them all, but if you don't at least read how the f*** are you gonna find a good fun guy/girl/couple? Most who have deleted have NO idea what I was messaging FOR!!!  |
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A lot of people click straight into the profile to see if they are interested before even opening the message. And if there's something they don't like or they aren't attracted to the person they just delete the message.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people click straight into the profile to see if they are interested before even opening the message. And if there's something they don't like or they aren't attracted to the person they just delete the message.
"
This! 
Many will look for certain things - interest compatibility, profile pictures - and that little green tick!
I'd advise trying to get someone from your fun at Libertys last night to verify you - that may help!
Goos luck!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does it show differently if it was deleted unread or is it assumed it was deleted unread because there was no reply? Just curious as I've never noticed any say deleted unread in my sent items  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"A lot of people click straight into the profile to see if they are interested before even opening the message. And if there's something they don't like or they aren't attracted to the person they just delete the message.
"
I don't need to read the message if I know the messager hasn't read my profile. |
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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago
In a crisp poke on the A814 |
"Does it show differently if it was deleted unread or is it assumed it was deleted unread because there was no reply? Just curious as I've never noticed any say deleted unread in my sent items "
No, it just shows as deleted... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does it show differently if it was deleted unread or is it assumed it was deleted unread because there was no reply? Just curious as I've never noticed any say deleted unread in my sent items
No, it just shows as deleted..."
Thought so...so it's just the usual assumptions being made and not that they may have read the message but just not been interested in the content |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think single guys realise how much "spam" mail is really sent. We had to back up a hdd on our pc a few weeks back. The computer was left running for 36 hours and was still logged onto Fab, SH and a paying couples predominant site. At the end there was 9 messages on SH to us, one from admin to let us know of new members on the couple site and 206 on our Fab profile all bar 2 from single guys. Lifes to short they were all block deleted (except the couple ones). Problem is it's like spam email you just end up deleting everything and if there is good ones in there we haven't the time or inclination to bother. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So what......your message was deleted. Why get so hung up about and rant. Just accept, block that person so you don't message them again and move on. This site is simples really but so many folk make it such hard work for themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just me? but I do shake my head a little with dismay when those I message just DELETE without even reading. I know ladies get FAR too much mail to be able to read them all, but if you don't at least read how the f*** are you gonna find a good fun guy/girl/couple? Most who have deleted have NO idea what I was messaging FOR!!! "
..Its not just you we get it as well.xx |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Even us single bi fems get messages deleted unread occasionally...or is that just me lol "
Nope, it happens to me too. People know what they want and if I'm not it then I move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people click straight into the profile to see if they are interested before even opening the message. And if there's something they don't like or they aren't attracted to the person they just delete the message.
I don't need to read the message if I know the messager hasn't read my profile."
exactly right alot of single guys cant be
botheted to read profile they send out. unwanted mail then complain their mails arent arent being read. like someone has pointed out this site is easy at least read peoples profiles and if you meet requirements mail if you do not then dont contact saves slot of disappointment |
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"Nope, it happens to me too. People know what they want and if I'm not it then I move on."
Funny thing was I had just messaged about something funny in a status. They must have looked at my profile and been petrified I'd try and shag them  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Nope, it happens to me too. People know what they want and if I'm not it then I move on.
Funny thing was I had just messaged about something funny in a status. They must have looked at my profile and been petrified I'd try and shag them "
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We don't let it bother us, understand how many messages single women get so don't expect replies.
We usually reply to all messages from couples as that's quite manageable numbers wise, if couples just delete our messages we block and move on - no point in wasting time for either party in future |
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"Is it just me? but I do shake my head a little with dismay when those I message just DELETE without even reading. I know ladies get FAR too much mail to be able to read them all, but if you don't at least read how the f*** are you gonna find a good fun guy/girl/couple? Most who have deleted have NO idea what I was messaging FOR!!! "
I read the profile before the message. My profile states (when visible) I will delete unread any message from anyone outwith what I'm looking for.
If I read the profile and they're outwith what I'm looking for, guess what I do?!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op we go straight to the profile if we ever get a message just to see if its what we are looking for. Then we may reply or delete depends how much effort has been put in. You can spot a cut and paste job a mile away and if you are not what are looking for then its bye bye deleted.
Perhaps tweaking your profile might help as you do seem to have a bee in your bonnet about age which you mention a lot! Perhaps overly so as it only takes one mention to get your point across. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, unless you are obsessively monitoring your "sent items" list, you DON'T KNOW whether your message was read, before it was deleted. I very often read a message, and delete within 30 seconds of reading it.
My advice would be, DON'T look at your "sent items" list. They either will reply or they won't reply, but either way, obsessing about it won't help you! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ah! I'm new to this site in many ways. I WAS here over 2 years ago and deleted myself after a few days due to 'other' reasons, so the last time I never got to grips with what happens to messages. On a totally different site it has Read/Deleted if it was read first. I'm fine if someone reads, decides I'm not for them, then deletes. That's choice, but my message mat NOT be an invite/request.. I HAVE been known to message to be helpful. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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After what happened to me on Friday I do feel less 'sidelined' due to my age. Your comment is actually very helpful as having seen it from your prospective has made me think twice. I always read profiles before messaging as for all I know the couple/single I'm messaging MIGHT want something I'm against, also there's little point in messaging someone who clearly states they don't want a man like me. I do realise ladies get 100s of mails and haven't got the time to read all, but was feeling a little disheartened by what percentage appeared to just DELETE.
Thanks for the input all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The first reply hit the nail on the head. Its not necessaryily personal, but then it might have been if they'd looked at your profile first.
Tbh, there are more than enough singles and couples on here to be working about a very small % not responding to messages.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I read every profile that interests me and I never mail anyone whom I haven't read and I've no idea how to copy and paste on this phone/site. Also I would never dream of sending one liners or anything offensive infact every message I send is well written and thought out. but still I get many messages deleted, it did frustrate a bit at the start but not anymore, you just have to move forward. I am aware how many messages different groups get as we have individual profiles and a couple's one,
Hers 100's
Couple several
Mine none
It's a funny old business we're all in on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Many look at the age/picture/profile and decide no and delete unopened as they can ascertain if they are interested better from the profile not the message. Why worry though there are hundreds more to mail and dwelling on unread messages will do nothing for you confidence wise.  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
far too many sensitive souls... you do wonder how they cope with the biggies in life when something like this causes this much anguish!
I almost actually wish they would get rid of the read/deleted feature if only because it would end one less reason for lots of mind-numbing complaints......
whinge upon moan |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
My advice is .......
Just delete the message from your sent items as soon as you send it. If the person is interested they will get in contact, if they are not, they won't.
Don't waste your time seeing if they have opened it, deleted it etc ..... That way you can spend more time chatting with those with which you have a mutual attraction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm quite specific in my profile so I can easily tell straight away without having to read the message if my profile has been read so if it obviously hasn't been then I delete, if they can't really be bothered with me then I cant with them it's simple. I left my prpfilelogged in accidently fell asleep last nite i awoke to 218 messages all from single guys, not shockingly only 3 had read my profile. i also read profile first so I know I won't be interested I delete n block to save wasted time on both parts because I hav messages in the past to day thanks but no thanks then they message me again again a few weeks later it gets very frustrating n a delete is easier. I'm here for fun not a day of admin replying to all males that message, that's my day job shouldn't be my fab one too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just seen a PERFECT example of what I mean. I did a search. In my search criteria I have 'Women'. I also have 'Exclude women who are not looking for single guys. One woman that came up in my search....Her words.."WHY DON'T YOU GUYS READ I'M NOT LOOKING FOR MEN...WOMAN ONLY". But... she has 'man' in her 'looking for' list which is WHY she's getting messages. How many 'helpful' guys like me have sent a message to say "Er..you have men in your wish list..un-tick men", but of course she NEVER sees this advise as..she most likely deletes all messages from single guys and never reads them.
By the way...for the record. I'm a realist and don't expect ALL messages to be read, but unlike an earlier comment I don't have 100s of woman to 'move on' to. One week in and I've messaged every woman I both like, and who is within my wishes and catchment area. I will NOT pester by repeat messaging, yet sadly about 75% of those I messaged 'appear' to have just deleted unread....Sigh!...Wish I got 200 messages a night. Be glad girls..be glad. |
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