FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Do You Prefer the Chase or the Action? Let’s Talk Meets!
Do You Prefer the Chase or the Action? Let’s Talk Meets!
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I’m curious to hear everyone’s thoughts on meet preferences in the swinging scene. Do you prefer a more spontaneous approach—meeting with minimal prior connection and jumping straight into the fun? Or do you enjoy the build-up, flirting, and getting to know someone before meeting?
For me, the anticipation and chemistry that come from chatting and flirting beforehand make the experience more exciting. I know others prefer a more direct, no-strings-attached approach where the connection isn’t as important as the experience itself and I guess they both have their place.
Also how this differs between club meets and private meets. Clubs often allow for more spontaneous encounters, where people can vibe in the moment and see what happens. Private meets, on the other hand, tend to involve more pre-meet communication and planning. Do you approach them differently, or do you stick to the same style regardless?
What’s your preference? Does the build-up make the experience better, or do you enjoy the thrill of spontaneity? |
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Never do spontaneous from here, prefer to get to know people as people first before i consider getting naked.
Make a point of saying “no short notice meets” on profile, still get lots of “free later” type things. Must work for some. |
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"Never do spontaneous from here, prefer to get to know people as people first before i consider getting naked.
Make a point of saying “no short notice meets” on profile, still get lots of “free later” type things. Must work for some. "
Do you ever vent to clubs and if so does that change the opinion? |
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I would say 80%+ of all my dates, socials and dalliances have been on the back of women messaging first. It's never been spontaneous, indeed it's through protracted messaging over weeks and weeks, months typically and, once or twice, after a year or so. |
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We would need some social chat first and ideally a social meet first tho we’d be happy to meet up in a hotel bar before going to the room . Especially for meeting people a bit further away but again we’d need some social online or phone chat first |
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"Never do spontaneous from here, prefer to get to know people as people first before i consider getting naked.
Make a point of saying “no short notice meets” on profile, still get lots of “free later” type things. Must work for some.
Do you ever vent to clubs and if so does that change the opinion? "
We do and not really; we go to clubs fir the voyeuristic element |
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I'm not into spontaneous meets at all, I prefer to build a connection & meet when it feels right for me.
I have been to clubs, but only with my partner and we arranged to meet people there that we already knew.
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"I don't like the endless messages, I much prefer getting get straight down to the action.
After all this is a sex site not a dating site. "
I disagree with that as it’s ment to be a swingers site🤷♂️
I agree that sex is a very big core part of it however I don’t agree it’s just sex, it’s a lifestyle |
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I like the thrill of a spontaneous meet and it's all well and good until you encounter the no shows. It has certainly made me re evaluate wgat I want from meets and I want the connection that comes from getting to know someone and not act on lust lol |
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By *igad999Man 6 weeks ago
wolverhampton |
Depends on the situation
We are very much go with the mood and flow as opposed to planning things
Sometimes if me and wife are out or somewhere with people things will steer a certain way and she will get turned on
Then it’s spontaneous
But also the chase build up chat teasing and excitement can be amazing too and leads to a lot of fun between me and her in the lead up to anything
But as said nearly all things we do is based on the moment |
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Mainly it’s about getting the connection with someone and building up the heat before meeting for a social.
However there has been a time whilst away that we put a meet up and someone got in touch and we sent a few messages back and forth and then I met them in the hotel bar and we chatted more and I knew C would fancy him.
He was an Italian gent, very charming and it was one of C’s fantasies to have an all Italian talking meet, as she’s fluent and I didn’t open my mouth 😋 It worked perfectly so it can work but I think we were lucky.
K |
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Really interesting comments so far! It seems the general consensus is that most people still enjoy the flirtation and build-up. So does that mean Fab is more of a swingers’ site than just a sex site after all? 🤷♂️ |
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"Really interesting comments so far! It seems the general consensus is that most people still enjoy the flirtation and build-up. So does that mean Fab is more of a swingers’ site than just a sex site after all? 🤷♂️"
It is to me, but some use it differently. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 6 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Really interesting comments so far! It seems the general consensus is that most people still enjoy the flirtation and build-up. So does that mean Fab is more of a swingers’ site than just a sex site after all? 🤷♂️"
Always has been in my mind. But others are free to use the site as they choose of course.
The attitude to whether it's a 'fuck site' or a swingers site has always been a useful filter for me.
I don't need a random hook up to provide sex or fill a need. It's too mechanical. The only time I've not had plenty of pre meet conversation and/or social interaction is when meeting others at clubs with one of my partners. But even then there's chat and a social element first. |
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"I don't like the endless messages, I much prefer getting get straight down to the action.
After all this is a sex site not a dating site.
I disagree with that as it’s ment to be a swingers site🤷♂️
I agree that sex is a very big core part of it however I don’t agree it’s just sex, it’s a lifestyle "
I disagree with that as if you look up the definition of swinging it says it's about meeting up for sex. |
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"Really interesting comments so far! It seems the general consensus is that most people still enjoy the flirtation and build-up. So does that mean Fab is more of a swingers’ site than just a sex site after all? 🤷♂️"
Fab used to be a swinging site, but with all the endless messages/socials it's become a dating site. |
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I get what you’re saying, but I don’t fully agree. Yeah, if you go by the definition, swinging is technically about meeting for sex, but in reality, it’s so much more than that.
For a lot of people, it’s about the connections, the build-up, and the whole experience—not just the end result. If it was purely about sex, there wouldn’t be such a big focus on flirting, social meets, and chemistry. Plenty of swingers enjoy the anticipation just as much as (or even more than) the act itself.
That’s why I wouldn’t call Fab just a sex site. If it was, people wouldn’t bother with all the chatting, the club nights, or the effort that goes into actually meeting the right people. Swinging might include sex, but it’s definitely not just about that. |
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"I get what you’re saying, but I don’t fully agree. Yeah, if you go by the definition, swinging is technically about meeting for sex, but in reality, it’s so much more than that.
For a lot of people, it’s about the connections, the build-up, and the whole experience—not just the end result. If it was purely about sex, there wouldn’t be such a big focus on flirting, social meets, and chemistry. Plenty of swingers enjoy the anticipation just as much as (or even more than) the act itself.
That’s why I wouldn’t call Fab just a sex site. If it was, people wouldn’t bother with all the chatting, the club nights, or the effort that goes into actually meeting the right people. Swinging might include sex, but it’s definitely not just about that."
everything evolves years ago it probably was just about sex because it was very difficult to socialise about it now is completely different it’s incredibly easy to be social about it now . But I get that people who’ve been in it for a long time might not like the change |
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Have done the quick meets and the messing and social first too.
Messaging/chat followed by social is always good, can tell if someone has any humour and sets the chemistry and flirting.
But finding it's very quiet on here nowadays, no decent chats even. |
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"I’m curious to hear everyone’s thoughts on meet preferences in the swinging scene. Do you prefer a more spontaneous approach—meeting with minimal prior connection and jumping straight into the fun? Or do you enjoy the build-up, flirting, and getting to know someone before meeting?
For me, the anticipation and chemistry that come from chatting and flirting beforehand make the experience more exciting. I know others prefer a more direct, no-strings-attached approach where the connection isn’t as important as the experience itself and I guess they both have their place.
Also how this differs between club meets and private meets. Clubs often allow for more spontaneous encounters, where people can vibe in the moment and see what happens. Private meets, on the other hand, tend to involve more pre-meet communication and planning. Do you approach them differently, or do you stick to the same style regardless?
What’s your preference? Does the build-up make the experience better, or do you enjoy the thrill of spontaneity? "
Instant chemistry at a club….cant beat it |
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I just find it boring and I lose interest with loads of messages back and forth.
After all what is there really to talk about that can't be said in the first few messages. After that meet up fuck and if you enjoy then maybe get to know each other a bit better.
There are some guys I have been meeting for over 10 years and I know what they enjoy in the bedroom but couldn't tell you anything about them. |
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When I was in the game, the chase. I love being in the absolute minority and having to put the hard yards in.
Even harder yards as I am extremely fussy and would generally be unlikely to send a first message. Sounds tough? Yeah, but I love it like that.
I would honestly not like to be a woman on here and getting my inbox absolutely smashed, having to block delete en mass. That cannot be fun at all.
The fuckery is always great. Why? Because being fussy, hopefully filters out the ones that wouldn't be compatible anyway. |
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Spontaneity has its place but for me in the world of Fab, I like to get to know someone first. A connection is important and I love the excitement and build of getting to know one another a little better and the teasing and desire before you meet. |
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I love the spontaneity of club meets, the right person and the right atmosphere can often lead to a great time. 😄
I treat fab meets quite differently though, I’m much more wary and prefer to chat for a while before meeting and mostly it’s a social first just to make sure they are as they’ve portrayed themselves xx |
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