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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've met so many couples in the past where the husband makes it clear that the female doesn't want other men and that he wouldn't allow this due to jealousy, yet he can have whichever woman that agrees to have him. I still after all these years find this hard to get my head round. I understand there are plenty of women who genuinely rather only play with their hubby, but when I get told they're not allowed to it annoys me.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Oh right, I've never seen that before, either way round though it seems unfair. My hubby doesn't join in through his own choice but I would never stop him from doing something that I do myself. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I find that not only do I end up feeling judgemental towards their dynamic but they also say things to my hubby like " how can you let her have other men?" All the time expecting his share of me. I find it most insulting that he feels his wife is too precious to go with another man, yet it's ok for him to have me. I now only wish to play bi fun only at couple meets to rule this out entirely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had the opposite of the problem more often than I would like, i.e. men in clubs asking me if if it's OK to play with J... Why are they not asking her?
Even when I am 99% sure I know the answer I can only ever say ask her not me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've met so many couples in the past where the husband makes it clear that the female doesn't want other men and that he wouldn't allow this due to jealousy, yet he can have whichever woman that agrees to have him. I still after all these years find this hard to get my head round. I understand there are plenty of women who genuinely rather only play with their hubby, but when I get told they're not allowed to it annoys me. "
Doesnt make sense i couldnt allow that no way hosay lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find that not only do I end up feeling judgemental towards their dynamic but they also say things to my hubby like " how can you let her have other men?" All the time expecting his share of me. I find it most insulting that he feels his wife is too precious to go with another man, yet it's ok for him to have me. I now only wish to play bi fun only at couple meets to rule this out entirely. "
but he'll only have a share of your wife if you allow him to
I know what you mean tho, ive spoken to a few guys in clubs who have made comments like they wouldnt bring their wife here and that their wife is too good for places like this and ive thought, hang on you've come over to talk to me in a swingers club so im assuming your chatting me up here by telling me your wifes to good to be here, so whats that saying about me  |
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Its a sticky situation id be well offended if someone said their wife was too good for somewhere I was, the screw u sir would NOT be literal lol.
luckily M and I are totally aware of what we both want and would be polite courteous and ensure that was explicitly known before anything.
I hade rudeness, intentional or not. |
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"Had the opposite of the problem more often than I would like, i.e. men in clubs asking me if if it's OK to play with J... Why are they not asking her?
Even when I am 99% sure I know the answer I can only ever say ask her not me. "
We have had that happen to us many times, and my answer is the same as yours, she decides who she wants to play with ....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We seam to get the vibe that there are quiet a few swingers that are in it to please there partners and have in effect been brow beaten into it lucky for us we have not met many couples like that but we have met the odd one or two and its so obvious that is the case that we have just walked away, lucky for us we both know what we want from swinging and are both happy with it if we were not the we would make a joint agreement that made us both happy, the thought of one of us playing and the other being off the menu so to speak if we are together well that would never happen and we always play together unless its Jayne having a girlie moment without the men around lol |
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A couple of times I have had women ask me if I'm okay with them going off to play privately with my partner. I just took it as them checking I was really ok with it, rather than asking my permission, much in the same way I would say to my partner "are you okay if I go for a one-to-one with (whoever). It's not that he decides who I play with it's more like if we've gone to a club together it seems only manners/consideration to let your partner know what you're doing.
However, I am not happy with a scenario where one parter is allowed to play with whomever they want to but the other is "not allowed" to play with anyone but their partner. I understand that some relationships work like that, and that sometimes it's because one partner doesn't want to play, but where one half of a couple is imposing their will on the other whilst giving themselves free reign...it's not for me. If a guy even hinted that he wouldn't ever let his wife/girlfriend go to a swingers club no way would I ever consider playing with him. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I once had a young guy turn around after we had played and say that if he had a girlfriend that he would not let her do this, with disgust on his face, couldn't understand why I refused to meet him again! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't understand this either.
We play equally always. For example he isn't comfortable with seprate room swap but I am, as he isn't happy with it neither of us do it.
I do think some people will go along with whatever the partner wants just to keep them happy but sooner or later the resentment will make an appearance
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"I find that not only do I end up feeling judgemental towards their dynamic but they also say things to my hubby like " how can you let her have other men?" All the time expecting his share of me. I find it most insulting that he feels his wife is too precious to go with another man, yet it's ok for him to have me. I now only wish to play bi fun only at couple meets to rule this out entirely.
but he'll only have a share of your wife if you allow him to
I know what you mean tho, ive spoken to a few guys in clubs who have made comments like they wouldnt bring their wife here and that their wife is too good for places like this and ive thought, hang on you've come over to talk to me in a swingers club so im assuming your chatting me up here by telling me your wifes to good to be here, so whats that saying about me "
heard that so many time , and your standing there in a group convo ,,,,,,,then that deadley silence ,really makes you wonder what goes thru someones mind to say something like that . |
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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago
Nr Chester |
"We (I have couples profile) have walked out on situations like that.....
I am not comfortable in the company of anyone were one of them is calling all the shots....."
Feel exactly the same. We're happy once establishing what others enjoy and perhaps envisage happening. If all three/four people click it's good to go.
Tactifully suggesting something during is fine, directing which kind of excludes doesn,t. |
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