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What do you want from a club visit?
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By *G74 OP Woman 4 days ago
Blackburn |
When you go to a club what do you go for? What do you expect or aim for?
Couples, females and males perspectives all welcome.
I'm hosting soon and want everyone to have a good time but understand cant please everyone but at same time want to make it as good a night as I can for everyone ... |
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As a host you should go round and talk to people (many hosts don't) especially those stood on their own, a few games are a good idea. Personally we don't go with expectations just to sample the atmosphere and have a good time. If we don't interact with anyone we still play, just with each other. |
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By *G74 OP Woman 4 days ago
Blackburn |
"As a host you should go round and talk to people (many hosts don't) especially those stood on their own, a few games are a good idea. Personally we don't go with expectations just to sample the atmosphere and have a good time. If we don't interact with anyone we still play, just with each other."
Games are always fun ... will need to put my naughty thinking cap on for a creative one or two 😏 |
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I love the social side of it. The play is fun don’t get me wrong but I could go and not play, as long as I come away with some connections I’m happy.
Love when there are games. I’ve been to some with speed dating.
You’ll be great OP if you’re welcoming and chatty. It can be quite daunting for a lot of people but the hosts make it.  |
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By *G74 OP Woman 4 days ago
Blackburn |
"I love the social side of it. The play is fun don’t get me wrong but I could go and not play, as long as I come away with some connections I’m happy.
Love when there are games. I’ve been to some with speed dating.
You’ll be great OP if you’re welcoming and chatty. It can be quite daunting for a lot of people but the hosts make it. "
I enjoy the social side so much that's why I took up the offer of hosting ... and as a relatively newbie on the club scene (but not the social scene) I'll be trying to make sure no one is getting left out 🤞
Just feel that to give people what they want it's best to ask the people 🤣 I like games and being a bit silly but that might not be everyones glass of whiskey ... so joining in on the games will of course be optional. Open to game suggestions? Remembering that we will all be dressed down for any games played 😈 |
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Difficult. As catering for all is hard
From our perspective there aren't enough couples only nights.
However, I get the demand for events with single men.
The one thing that constantly puts us off is "wanking dead" and lemming behaviour.
The incessant rush to follow a couple who may look like play is about to happen.....
Not sure how an event holder can mitigate that, but be good if the basic rules were enforced.
Second thing is in lots of clubs the lighting is woeful-way to dark
So an event with some secondary lighting in voyeurs rooms (even labelled as such) would be useful. |
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By *aughty50sCouple 4 days ago
Yorkshire - but we travel a lot |
"We like a club event that's more targeted to us, i.e. older and curvier
Considering I'm 50 and hosting a Night For Curvies you're more than welcome to come along 😘"
Thanks. We've not been to this club, is it wheelchair friendly please? |
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We absolutely go for the atmosphere, they actually is a little daunting sometimes, being new to the club scene and having only experienced 1 club so far we haven't played each time we've been and only once did we do any (soft) swap. Looking forward to visiting more clubs going forward. Games sound like a great way to break the ice though. R x
P.s. you'll have the best time no doubt. |
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By *G74 OP Woman 4 days ago
Blackburn |
"We like a club event that's more targeted to us, i.e. older and curvier
Considering I'm 50 and hosting a Night For Curvies you're more than welcome to come along 😘
Thanks. We've not been to this club, is it wheelchair friendly please?"
Afraid not 🙈 Club No3 is on second floor up a flight of stairs and no lift. |
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By *G74 OP Woman 4 days ago
Blackburn |
"Difficult. As catering for all is hard
From our perspective there aren't enough couples only nights.
However, I get the demand for events with single men.
The one thing that constantly puts us off is "wanking dead" and lemming behaviour.
The incessant rush to follow a couple who may look like play is about to happen.....
Not sure how an event holder can mitigate that, but be good if the basic rules were enforced.
Second thing is in lots of clubs the lighting is woeful-way to dark
So an event with some secondary lighting in voyeurs rooms (even labelled as such) would be useful. "
Hoping no wanking dead floating around and if there is any sign of them we will Rick Grimes thier asses and put a stop to 'em!! 🤣 |
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By *aughty50sCouple 4 days ago
Yorkshire - but we travel a lot |
"We like a club event that's more targeted to us, i.e. older and curvier
Considering I'm 50 and hosting a Night For Curvies you're more than welcome to come along 😘
Thanks. We've not been to this club, is it wheelchair friendly please?
Afraid not 🙈 Club No3 is on second floor up a flight of stairs and no lift. "
Bugger! Oh well, thanks for the invite anyway. Hope it goes great! |
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By *G74 OP Woman 4 days ago
Blackburn |
"We absolutely go for the atmosphere, they actually is a little daunting sometimes, being new to the club scene and having only experienced 1 club so far we haven't played each time we've been and only once did we do any (soft) swap. Looking forward to visiting more clubs going forward. Games sound like a great way to break the ice though. R x
P.s. you'll have the best time no doubt."
The great atmosphere I've received from No3 is the reason I'm hosting there ... met some great people and enjoyed a great time there and just want to pay that forward for others to come and have the same 🌹 |
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This forum definately hit home with me. As I'm getting older I am struggling more with my confidence and hence struggling to approach new ppl, especially in the clubs. I love going to the clubs for the social side as much as any play. We have made loads of really good friends from it.
Actually I'm wondering if this new event Xtasia have asked me and my husband to host stating 'we are a perfect fit' would help anyone. It's going to be aimed at building ppls confidence and helping ppl meet and interact with new ppl that believe they have imperfections. I believe nobody is perfect and we should all embrace all the positives things we have to offer others and ourselves xx
The event happening at Xtasia on Saturday 8th March called Perfect Imperfections.
Feel free to have a look:
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/events/1678402
Hopefully see some of you there.
Tabby x |
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I'm quite a confident guy but when I've visited clubs I just don't seem to have the confidence to approach people and make the first move
I think it's probably as I look around and think to myself there's far better looking guy's here so I've got no chance
That's possibly the reason I don't really go to many clubs anymore |
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As a single male who has been around for a while most importantly it’s acceptance and not to be judged to be made to feel welcome
As men we know that some men get us a bad reputation but most are just normal who don’t go to clubs thinking it’s a certainty they might get there Willy wet lol sorry but nicest way I could think of putting it!
I’ve been to clubs as a coupe so seen both sides |
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"As a single male who has been around for a while most importantly it’s acceptance and not to be judged to be made to feel welcome
As men we know that some men get us a bad reputation but most are just normal who don’t go to clubs thinking it’s a certainty they might get there Willy wet lol sorry but nicest way I could think of putting it!
I’ve been to clubs as a coupe so seen both sides "
Agree with this.
Not been to any clubs yet as new to the scene but am a bit put off by the apparent negativity on Fab towards single men and the broad 'couples only' bias on anything that might be remotely fun.
Yes, I get there are a LOT of us out there and that some behaviours will not be ideal (!!) But I'd be more comfortable with a club that tackles this head on, with some clear, friendly guidance and expectations, plus some support and monitoring from the hosts. Kind of like a buddy system for newbies.
I'm not saying the best venues don't do this, I'm sure they must do, just that it would be important to me to feel genuinely welcome and not like something that other club goers just have endure.. Which is kinda of the vibe I get from lots of these threads. |
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The biggest thing we want from a club is the people. The right people makes the evening far more than the facilities. However we also understand that's not something you can manufacture or necessarily control. Our main aim is to just let our hair down, have fun and hopefully find our people. Hot encounters and the freedom to act on them is an added bonus.
We don't like pretension or elitism. We've found that at some clubs and events. We like free and down to earth. Where people are just themselves and not putting on an act or trying to show off.
Personally we like the freedom to dress down and play anywhere in the club. It doesn't need to strictly dress down, but a club where you feel comfortable and free to just do what you feel.
So there are certain features and facilities in a club we like. However get the vibe, atmosphere and crowd right and it'll be an awesome night. |
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I think for a host is a very difficult juggling act to try and get everything right. But if you stit and plan out what you would like as an event you can't go to far wrong. Games and a social time is a great ice braker. Cabling of certain areas like closed play areas ect. And trying to keep a good atmosphere with music and lighting maybe nibbles too. |
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" it would be important to me to feel genuinely welcome and not like something that other club goers just have endure.. Which is kinda of the vibe I get from lots of these threads. "
Solo women like me actively seek out solo men at clubs. That is why I have stopped going to couples and single women only nights |
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By *TWboyMan 3 days ago
Norwich |
"Difficult. As catering for all is hard
From our perspective there aren't enough couples only nights.
However, I get the demand for events with single men.
The one thing that constantly puts us off is "wanking dead" and lemming behaviour.
The incessant rush to follow a couple who may look like play is about to happen.....
Not sure how an event holder can mitigate that, but be good if the basic rules were enforced.
Second thing is in lots of clubs the lighting is woeful-way to dark
So an event with some secondary lighting in voyeurs rooms (even labelled as such) would be useful. "
All really good valid points |
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Maybe a good idea to go to a few other hosted nights to see how others do it, we've found the most successful hosts will make sure there's a good ration of single guys to couples & that they are verified as decent players rather than just some random off the street walking dead, normally greeted by the host & a brief introduction to the club for those not having attended before,normally by another more experienced couple, a good host will normally walk around & if noticing people not integrating due to being newbies or just shy will often ask another couple to spend a little time with them- an ice breaker like a game of snap where you have to ask around others if they have the same as you is an ideal way of getting people to chat, not having the music so loud as you can't & finally a bloody good buffet lol - good luck x |
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" it would be important to me to feel genuinely welcome and not like something that other club goers just have endure…."
My thoughts completely. As someone who has been to several clubs, and experienced the generic “Thanks for your money, it’s through there” too many times, it would be great to not feel like a gatecrasher at someone else’s party for a change…..  |
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By *oxy jWoman 3 days ago
somerset |
clubs are very simple its a social mainly and if their is any sexual attractiob then make contact exchange details maybe play or plan a meet away from the club..
most of my meets are from guys over the years i've/we've met in clubs
never go to a club expecting anything and we do ome a month sometimes 2 and all over the country and some times in euros / other countries |
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If we are going to a club we would be expecting some play. Full swap be that separate rooms or the same.
A good selection of soft drinks behind the bar.
Dressed down atmosphere as it's more relaxing.
We would not expect is to have music blaring so loud you can't talk.
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By *G74 OP Woman 3 days ago
Blackburn |
I feel like a politician trying to state my case for votes but here goes 🙈
My aim for the night is to have a even number of couples, single males and females, free shots on arrival for those who wish to partake. (I dont drink myself so no shame in not having alcohol) I have a couple of ice breaker games planned that should cause a giggle or two that will get everyone in attendance mixing in a good light hearted way. There will be munchies as us Curvies need sustenance for what could be a naughty energetic time if we choose to.
The club is excellent and clean with lots of facilities to enjoy. And the lighting is good for those who just want to watch or be watched.
In regards to single guys ... the club usually sort out the single guys who attend. The best advice I can offer single guys who want to be invited is to become a regular and get to know the staff and other people in attendance, once you are known as someone who respects the club and the rules and not known as one of the wanking dead or someone who creeps in to play scenes uninvited its worth it.
Will say too ... just because you've played with someone at a previous event that does not mean it's ok to play again without asking or being invited again. Every night is a fresh start. |
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By *G74 OP Woman 3 days ago
Blackburn |
"This all sounds perfect (providing the music isn't too loud !)"
Wont be ... its background music (other than when its playing for the games I have planned 🤣) I dont like having to shout to be heard when trying to have a nice conversation. |
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By *G74 OP Woman 3 days ago
Blackburn |
"A good mix of people
To chat and flirt with
A mix of open and private spaces that want to play
And no phones ... unless everyone agrees "
Club No3 has all this ... and just like to reiterate NO PHONES!!  |
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By *G74 OP Woman 3 days ago
Blackburn |
"If we are going to a club we would be expecting some play. Full swap be that separate rooms or the same.
A good selection of soft drinks behind the bar.
Dressed down atmosphere as it's more relaxing.
We would not expect is to have music blaring so loud you can't talk.
"
For anyone interested who can't make my event my bestie friend on the scene Thejuggernaut86 also hosts events at this club and its heavy play with lots of fun and fuckery ... attending his events is what got me hooked on the swinging club scene as it's always such a great and naughty night.
The Gov's Night of Madness, Saturday 12th April. Club No3, Chorley. 8:30pm till 1:30am. |
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We go to hopefully hook up with other couples or singles
Our biggest complaint, frankly, is the music.
I want an erotic vibe. Country Roads is great for karaoke, but terrible for blow jobs.
I also wish single men were guided better.
Overall all though we love the UK club scene. |
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My local club is Club F in the north east (amazing club, highly recommend it).
Regardless of if I go on my own or with my wife I orwe look for 2 things primarily.
1) A fun atmosphere to relax and have fun in. Just chat and have a laugh.
2) To meet women.
As long as number one happens, there is no worry if number 2 does not.
That's it basically. |
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For us it would be making sure noise in the dungeon area is kept to a minimum and people are encouraged to wait until a scene finishes before trying to have a chat with us.
We probably aren’t your typical guests though.
Would also encourage wristbands….colour coded.
Red …. Don’t approach
Amber …. Happy for a chat (no promises)
Green … here to partaaaaay, if you fancy me/us come chat.
Also seen pickup benches used to good effect. |
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By *G74 OP Woman 2 days ago
Blackburn |
"For us it would be making sure noise in the dungeon area is kept to a minimum and people are encouraged to wait until a scene finishes before trying to have a chat with us.
We probably aren’t your typical guests though.
Would also encourage wristbands….colour coded.
Red …. Don’t approach
Amber …. Happy for a chat (no promises)
Green … here to partaaaaay, if you fancy me/us come chat.
Also seen pickup benches used to good effect."
Not a bad shout 🤔 |
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"For us it would be making sure noise in the dungeon area is kept to a minimum and people are encouraged to wait until a scene finishes before trying to have a chat with us.
We probably aren’t your typical guests though.
Would also encourage wristbands….colour coded.
Red …. Don’t approach
Amber …. Happy for a chat (no promises)
Green … here to partaaaaay, if you fancy me/us come chat.
Also seen pickup benches used to good effect."
Maybe extend to dynamics as well
Purple - looking for couples
Orange - looking for single guys
Yellow - looking for single girls
S |
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"For us it would be making sure noise in the dungeon area is kept to a minimum and people are encouraged to wait until a scene finishes before trying to have a chat with us.
We probably aren’t your typical guests though.
Would also encourage wristbands….colour coded.
Red …. Don’t approach
Amber …. Happy for a chat (no promises)
Green … here to partaaaaay, if you fancy me/us come chat.
Also seen pickup benches used to good effect.
Maybe extend to dynamics as well
Purple - looking for couples
Orange - looking for single guys
Yellow - looking for single girls
S"
All looks like a good idea |
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"For us it would be making sure noise in the dungeon area is kept to a minimum and people are encouraged to wait until a scene finishes before trying to have a chat with us.
We probably aren’t your typical guests though.
Would also encourage wristbands….colour coded.
Red …. Don’t approach
Amber …. Happy for a chat (no promises)
Green … here to partaaaaay, if you fancy me/us come chat.
Also seen pickup benches used to good effect.
Maybe extend to dynamics as well
Purple - looking for couples
Orange - looking for single guys
Yellow - looking for single girls
S"
We done this similar once at no3
We called it traffic light night 😜 |
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By *jonesMan 2 days ago
Plymouth |
A nice mix of people that are sociable and polite and chatty.
Maybe staying the obvious hosting in a club will be way different from hosting at a social.
I would definitely welcome people ..and some sort of icebreaker sounds good. I have hosted socials (as a couple) and very much treated it as I would if I was having a normal party. Introduced people to each other , kept an eye out for folk sitting by them selves and chatted to them etc but that's trickier at a club I think , and maybe not what people want ... |
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