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Married men
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Soph actually is starting to prefer meeting them as for obvious reasons they are more discrete and they get less clingy/needy. Gives her a little tingle as well if she's sees them out with the wife or gf. Anyone else find this or are we touching on morally wrong? |
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Each to their own but swinging is about honesty and trust....if their partner is unaware then they are just cheaters...not swingers!
If they can't be honest with partners they are certainly not going to be honest with you. |
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Also (I feel like a broken record here) a guy posting that he preferred married women and got a tingle if he was them out with their husband would ha been hung, drawn, quartered and sent to the four corners of the globe. |
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"Also (I feel like a broken record here) a guy posting that he preferred married women and got a tingle if he was them out with their husband would ha been hung, drawn, quartered and sent to the four corners of the globe."
The standard of standards on here  |
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"Soph actually is starting to prefer meeting them as for obvious reasons they are more discrete and they get less clingy/needy. Gives her a little tingle as well if she's sees them out with the wife or gf. Anyone else find this or are we touching on morally wrong? "
I'll get the popcorn |
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I'm pretty sure there isn't actually a swinging rule book.
"Each to their own but swinging is about honesty and trust....if their partner is unaware then they are just cheaters...not swingers!
If they can't be honest with partners they are certainly not going to be honest with you."
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"I'm pretty sure there isn't actually a swinging rule book.
Each to their own but swinging is about honesty and trust....if their partner is unaware then they are just cheaters...not swingers!
If they can't be honest with partners they are certainly not going to be honest with you."
As I said, if it floats your boat...crack on |
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"Soph actually is starting to prefer meeting them as for obvious reasons they are more discrete and they get less clingy/needy. Gives her a little tingle as well if she's sees them out with the wife or gf. Anyone else find this or are we touching on morally wrong? "
That’s how Mrs K feels x |
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By *host63Man 5 days ago
Bedfont Feltham |
The biggest attraction is that women get a power kick from tempting s man away from their wives or girlfriends.
I always got more attention from women when I was in s relationship than when I was single. |
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By *host63Man 5 days ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"Each to their own but swinging is about honesty and trust....if their partner is unaware then they are just cheaters...not swingers!
If they can't be honest with partners they are certainly not going to be honest with you."
I see as many women on here cheating than men |
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"The biggest attraction is that women get a power kick from tempting s man away from their wives or girlfriends.
I always got more attention from women when I was in s relationship than when I was single."
Some women might think like this but not me. I wouldn’t go with a man I knew was married however the OP is free to do as she please |
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"Each to their own but swinging is about honesty and trust....if their partner is unaware then they are just cheaters...not swingers!
If they can't be honest with partners they are certainly not going to be honest with you.
I see as many women on here cheating than men"
No-one has said there aren't. |
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"Soph actually is starting to prefer meeting them as for obvious reasons they are more discrete and they get less clingy/needy. Gives her a little tingle as well if she's sees them out with the wife or gf. Anyone else find this or are we touching on morally wrong? "
Tbf kinda seems like she is the needy one in that scenario 100% now if he's lying to his wife just think of the lies he told both of you in order to get a meet also lies are like a virus be no surprise if before long his lies became her lies secret meets laughing at cheating on both their partners for a thrill sure wouldn't be the same if you knew so she has to lie about it at least once to try it see for herself after all liars are great at persuading people one way or the other which ever suits them and you'll never even find out because he's a great liar he can teach her so well if his wife falls for it why wouldn't you all this because you let that negativity and toxicity into your circle doesn't seem like the smartest move but hey each to their own I guess |
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Surely the point of swinging is \NOT being tied down by other peoples version of morality,
Not trying to convince the world that your version of morality is the correct one.
A little less judgmental please  |
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"Surely the point of swinging is \NOT being tied down by other peoples version of morality,
Not trying to convince the world that your version of morality is the correct one.
A little less judgmental please "
In order to have free speech you must risk offending people can't have one without the other the op was entitled to free speech in their post and anyone else is entitled to free speech in their reply |
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We have discussed meeting people who are married with their partners consent, if we liked them then it wouldn’t stop us.
But for us we are always honest with each other and would never cheat. Their issues are their issues, we’re here to have a good time and make some friends |
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"Surely the point of swinging is \NOT being tied down by other peoples version of morality,
Not trying to convince the world that your version of morality is the correct one.
A little less judgmental please
In order to have free speech you must risk offending people can't have one without the other the op was entitled to free speech in their post and anyone else is entitled to free speech in their reply"
Fully agree but there seemed to be a level of slut shaming going on which really doesnt have any place in an alternative lifestyle thread. |
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"Soph actually is starting to prefer meeting them as for obvious reasons they are more discrete and they get less clingy/needy. Gives her a little tingle as well if she's sees them out with the wife or gf. Anyone else find this or are we touching on morally wrong? "
You do you! Most things in life come with consequences though. |
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"Surely the point of swinging is \NOT being tied down by other peoples version of morality,
Not trying to convince the world that your version of morality is the correct one.
A little less judgmental please
In order to have free speech you must risk offending people can't have one without the other the op was entitled to free speech in their post and anyone else is entitled to free speech in their reply
Fully agree but there seemed to be a level of slut shaming going on which really doesnt have any place in an alternative lifestyle thread."
Although you're of course entitled entitled to that opinion the fact is slut shaming is only a thing if negative comments are unwarranted you can't just redefine a word or phrase and call it free speech it's not the case that people can do anything they want sexually and no one can say a bad word about it or its "slut shaming" i could give you several examples but they are really quite obvious |
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Why would married people be less clingy or needy?
If they feel you're better than their husband or wife they might become very needy indeed.
I also don't really understand why they'd be more discreet. I think most of us are anyway.
People are people, they'll do what they want and I bet the op has received a lot of messages from married guys.
Everyone's happy |
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"Why would married people be less clingy or needy?
If they feel you're better than their husband or wife they might become very needy indeed.
I also don't really understand why they'd be more discreet. I think most of us are anyway.
People are people, they'll do what they want and I bet the op has received a lot of messages from married guys.
Everyone's happy "
Knowing people away from swinging who've had affairs it was because they weren't happy and we're looking to move on to someone new rather than taking a step back so the neediness soon kicks in. Just be prepared for it if you're going down this route OP. |
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"Surely the point of swinging is \NOT being tied down by other peoples version of morality,
Not trying to convince the world that your version of morality is the correct one.
A little less judgmental please
In order to have free speech you must risk offending people can't have one without the other the op was entitled to free speech in their post and anyone else is entitled to free speech in their reply
Fully agree but there seemed to be a level of slut shaming going on which really doesnt have any place in an alternative lifestyle thread."
The op asked a question which implies that they wanted answers. The nature of the question will attract varying opinions but I see no slut shaming and the op didn't refer to themselves as a slut.
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"Why would married people be less clingy or needy?
If they feel you're better than their husband or wife they might become very needy indeed.
I also don't really understand why they'd be more discreet. I think most of us are anyway.
People are people, they'll do what they want and I bet the op has received a lot of messages from married guys.
Everyone's happy
Knowing people away from swinging who've had affairs it was because they weren't happy and we're looking to move on to someone new rather than taking a step back so the neediness soon kicks in. Just be prepared for it if you're going down this route OP."
Yep. Apart from one colleague`s partner who had affairs because her hurt when she discovered proved she loved him...until she left, everyone I know who's had affairs did so because there was something missing from their main relationship. If they find that elsewhere who knows what might happen |
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"Each to their own but swinging is about honesty and trust...."
It used to be but, alas, not anymore. Honesty and trust was abolished decades ago.
"if their partner is unaware then they are just cheaters...not swingers!"
They're probably unaware because they're either comatose, at HMP Bronze field at his majesty's pleasure (why does he get all the fun?) or out of signal at a whaling station in the Faroe Isles.
But this does make interesting reading. ♀️♂️ |
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It's up to the individual involved really.
There's an awful lot of moralising on here regarding married/attached men (less so women, but more on that later) playing solo.
Yes, like me, so I do have skin in the game...so to speak.
Here's my view. If you don't want to play with attached men who are open about being attached and their other halves being unaware then that's perfectly fine. It's your choice.
However, please don't try to make assumptions about why those men are doing what they are doing or make disapproving judgements about them.
Swinging is not an activity where anyone involved can seriously paint themselves to be somehow more virtuous than another person, regardless of how you might want to justify it.
Consider this: How many couples that you may meet in clubs are made up of at least one person who might be attached to someone else out in the real world?
I bet it accounts for anything up to perhaps a 1/4 of people who go to clubs.
Those couples are likely to be taken at face value and no one would feel in the least bit guilty or concerned about playing with them because they simply wouldn't be aware that one or both of the people they are having fun with are actually attached to other people.
If you are a couple and you have played with other couples, the chances are you've played with people who are not attached to the people they say they are. You didn't know, so you can tell yourself it doesn't bother you, but the reality is that the chances are you will be enabling that behaviour. It comes with the territory, whether you like it or not.
Don't try and claim that you 'just know' if someone isn't being honest about their status or you can 'spot it' and therefore would never be in that position. It's nonsense.
Chances are you simply cannot. Sorry, but you can't.
People are on the whole very bad at spotting when other people are not telling the truth about anything and often those who think they are and like to make a point of saying so are the very worst at it.
Not only that, a huge number of couples will turn a blind eye to an attached woman playing solo (or as part of a couple) whether she is open about it or not, either by simply not asking or making up some justification based upon whatever reason she supplies for doing so.
How many people actually do seek verification from the other absent partner if someone says they have permission?... I bet the reality is very few.
At the end of the day, all of us are meeting people we know very little about really and taking them at their word in order to pursue our lustful desires. None of us care that much about upholding certain moral values if we are truly honest. If we did, we wouldn't be here.
Fact is, men have very little sexual capital, particularly on their own, so it is easy to filter the pool of offers by excluding an obvious set - the attached ones.
Women's sexual capital is always much greater and solo women perhaps the highest of all, so this will far outweigh any potential negatives, like the minor inconvenience of perhaps being attached to someone not present at the time.
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"I just find it quite cringe some of the people on here with their holier than thou attitudes yeah let strangers spunk all over them. Ha ha, ridiculous."
I find it cringe you can’t recognise the difference between consensual sex between unattached or openly swinging adults and doing something where there is an unparticipating third party that may end up very hurt by the cheating. |
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"Again if you don't know what someone's home life is / personal life is like there's no talking to you.
People are free to do as they please. Imagine that! 😁"
For someone who (not saying you personally) professes to "love" their partner but are quite willing to fuck around behind their back always amazes me.....Do you think the cheated on spouse (if they found out) would just say "it's fine dear, I know you love me, it's all good" |
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"Again if you don't know what someone's home life is / personal life is like there's no talking to you.
People are free to do as they please. Imagine that! 😁
For someone who (not saying you personally) professes to "love" their partner but are quite willing to fuck around behind their back always amazes me.....Do you think the cheated on spouse (if they found out) would just say "it's fine dear, I know you love me, it's all good""
Can't speak for anyone tbh so not my place.
All I know is I've met married women before who've had abusive / violent partners and they need an escape. As said previously some can't leave due to many reasons. Hence my earlier point that a lot seem quite judgemental.
That's all |
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"Also (I feel like a broken record here) a guy posting that he preferred married women and got a tingle if he was them out with their husband would ha been hung, drawn, quartered and sent to the four corners of the globe.
The standard of standards on here "
Double! Can women really accept equality, then behave like that? Cue the reactions. |
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"Each to their own but swinging is about honesty and trust....
Really 
Used to be, now it just seems like a percentage will lie and cheat just to get their leg over  "
Most people don’t even share their real names on the scene that includes couples and single ladies. Lots of women lie about their age on this site. I can go on and on. I don’t even ask their names in clubs if sex isn’t great let alone asking their life stories and relationships and don’t expect an honest answer. It’s always been like that. This is swinging site not a dating site. |
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"Each to their own but swinging is about honesty and trust....
Really
Used to be, now it just seems like a percentage will lie and cheat just to get their leg over
Most people don’t even share their real names on the scene that includes couples and single ladies. Lots of women lie about their age on this site. I can go on and on. I don’t even ask their names in clubs if sex isn’t great let alone asking their life stories and relationships and don’t expect an honest answer. It’s always been like that. This is swinging site not a dating site. "
No-one has said its a dating site...you digress from the original OP |
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My only wish is that I could state my case as eloquently as Beachrunner1 did. I think he summed up the situation perfectly, especially his mention of the massive number of FWB couples who pretend to be married to each other while leaving their spouse and kids at home. These people rarely get challenged. All the venom is saved for the "single" men who aren't actually single. As has already been said the plastic moralists are safe to dismiss this section of our community because there is an abundance of men in the single category. |
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Doing things with people we are forbidden to will always be a turn on. It's all fun until someone finds out though and then hell breaks loose. Can see the appeal and id be a hypocrite if I said I'd never do anything like that. But on the flip side, I've wanted every single one of my partners to cheat on me. Just tell me a while after  |
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"My only wish is that I could state my case as eloquently as Beachrunner1 did. I think he summed up the situation perfectly, especially his mention of the massive number of FWB couples who pretend to be married to each other while leaving their spouse and kids at home. These people rarely get challenged. All the venom is saved for the "single" men who aren't actually single. As has already been said the plastic moralists are safe to dismiss this section of our community because there is an abundance of men in the single category."
My opinion is for both sexes. |
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By *otgirl32Woman 4 days ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"Soph actually is starting to prefer meeting them as for obvious reasons they are more discrete and they get less clingy/needy. Gives her a little tingle as well if she's sees them out with the wife or gf. Anyone else find this or are we touching on morally wrong? "
I enjoy married blokes  |
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"Each to their own but swinging is about honesty and trust....if their partner is unaware then they are just cheaters...not swingers!
If they can't be honest with partners they are certainly not going to be honest with you."
Completely agree with this 👍 |
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"Soph actually is starting to prefer meeting them as for obvious reasons they are more discrete and they get less clingy/needy. Gives her a little tingle as well if she's sees them out with the wife or gf. Anyone else find this or are we touching on morally wrong?
I enjoy married blokes "
I'd enjoy you xx
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"My only wish is that I could state my case as eloquently as Beachrunner1 did. I think he summed up the situation perfectly, especially his mention of the massive number of FWB couples who pretend to be married to each other while leaving their spouse and kids at home. These people rarely get challenged. All the venom is saved for the "single" men who aren't actually single. As has already been said the plastic moralists are safe to dismiss this section of our community because there is an abundance of men in the single category."
But this thread is a couple asking if they're touching on morally wrong.  |
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"My only wish is that I could state my case as eloquently as Beachrunner1 did. I think he summed up the situation perfectly, especially his mention of the massive number of FWB couples who pretend to be married to each other while leaving their spouse and kids at home. These people rarely get challenged. All the venom is saved for the "single" men who aren't actually single. As has already been said the plastic moralists are safe to dismiss this section of our community because there is an abundance of men in the single category.
But this thread is a couple asking if they're touching on morally wrong. "
People have different morality standards. What’s right for some people may not sit well with others. If Op is happy let then go for it. Others wouldn’t go for married men also perfectly acceptable. |
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"Soph actually is starting to prefer meeting them as for obvious reasons they are more discrete and they get less clingy/needy. Gives her a little tingle as well if she's sees them out with the wife or gf. Anyone else find this or are we touching on morally wrong? "
I’m a single guy who has met up with couples in the past and enjoyed it so much I’m back for more! more! more! 
I wouldn’t say I was clingy or needy as I’m not looking for a relationship  I love the naughtiness of swinging if that’s playing with a Hot wife or playing with a greedy girl in a group so if married men are probably looking for something similar? But it’s up to them if they tell their partner or not? That’s the cheater or Home wrecker question |
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By *ebbie69Couple 7 hours ago
milton keynes |
"Soph actually is starting to prefer meeting them as for obvious reasons they are more discrete and they get less clingy/needy. Gives her a little tingle as well if she's sees them out with the wife or gf. Anyone else find this or are we touching on morally wrong? "
I also prefer married men for the reasons you give and like you have a kink about seeing the wife out and about but also I have been known to look at her photos on his phone while he is busy pleasing me. Morally probably very bad but I am open about it and fully respect its a taboo subject to many. |
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I wouldn't knowingly meet anyone cheating on a partner, no.
There's too much potential for drama and hurt.
We all have our own moral code though and as long as you're happy with yours and realise if it ever came to light, there may well be consequences, then that's your choice. |
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"Each to there own no one knows what's gone on in there private married life and some may actually have permission "
I don't think they're applying it to men who have permission,
More those who are here without partners knowing is how I read it,with the tingle of seeing him out an about with his wife or gf bit. |
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"I wouldn't knowingly meet anyone cheating on a partner, no.
There's too much potential for drama and hurt.
We all have our own moral code though and as long as you're happy with yours and realise if it ever came to light, there may well be consequences, then that's your choice. "
A lot of people are on here without their partners knowing.
I can get your point about it raising issues, but I can see that this creates an interesting dynamic that can be a turn on. You are meeting for sex, no a relationship. |
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"I wouldn't knowingly meet anyone cheating on a partner, no.
There's too much potential for drama and hurt.
We all have our own moral code though and as long as you're happy with yours and realise if it ever came to light, there may well be consequences, then that's your choice.
A lot of people are on here without their partners knowing.
I can get your point about it raising issues, but I can see that this creates an interesting dynamic that can be a turn on. You are meeting for sex, no a relationship."
Yep I am but, but I like socials and friendship too.
I still wouldn't want to meet someone here on the sly and that's my choice, I'm in a ltr he is here too and I'd hate it done to me.
Others can do as they wish.
As long as the person who is attached is honest about it with those they meet,others can then make their own choices. |
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So I'm married and here without knowledge ( yes I know )
I'm more than happy to play with married women or a couple in fact it's my preference
I realise this does not make me a swinger but I think I may well be in the majority
The fact I've not been lucky enough to play is irrelevant |
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"It's true they are less clingy and selfishly that works better for me but I don't get satisfaction out of it.
May I ask why you don't get satisfaction just to understand "
I don't get a kick out of sleeping with someone's partner is what I mean, it'd not something I set out to do. |
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"It's true they are less clingy and selfishly that works better for me but I don't get satisfaction out of it.
May I ask why you don't get satisfaction just to understand
I don't get a kick out of sleeping with someone's partner is what I mean, it'd not something I set out to do."
Understood thank you for answering. |
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By *ookie46Woman 2 hours ago
Deepest darkest Peru |
I’ve never wanted someone to be needy of my time so for selfish reasons it’s worked for me
However if feelings become involved you know they’re not truthful with their partner so are they truthful with you |
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