A few years ago I recruited a very talented and (as it’s happens) very attractive woman for a strategic role in my team; she ran wild with the job, delivered above and beyond, so much so was headhunted less than a year later!
I have a rule of not getting involved personally in my professional world, that said, the attraction between us was obvious; we were together for dinner/overnight stay a few months into our working relationship, it could have happened, should have happened, didn’t and in the cold light of day was the right move for us both.
We’ve kept in touch professionally for the last few years and planned to meet in London a few months ago; she told me she’s staying overnight and dinner is on her; I agree and I’ll be there!
Next thing, she’s hot/cold in the days proceeding!!
In the end I couldn’t make my calendar work and neither could she, but she tried a dozen different ways to get me into London & elsewhere before we both admitted defeat!
I’m due in the UK again next week so messaged saying “let’s meet up!?” She agrees but I’d have to travel to her home town, which i’m willing to do, but then she’s hot/cold again; i’m thinking I’ll leave things as they are, professional, then out of the blue she sends me four local hotel options.
I book the hotel, book a restaurant reservation, confirm both with her and now its hot/cold vibes again with one word replies!
My spider sense tells me she has a partner and potentially she’s in two minds in meeting me as it’s obvious (from my perspective) how the night is going to pan out.
Ordinarily I’d be somewhat bullish (as is my nature) and make it abundantly clear that all options are on the table post dinner; if I’m honest, this is why I’m travelling 200 miles to meet her, although regardless it’d be great to catch up again in any event and I wouldn’t stand her up!
I’m never in my head, but genuinely wondering how to play this!?!
Thoughts   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Without knowing either of you I'd say the signs are that like you she has fond memories of the 'connection' you had in the past, the idea of what might happen is attractive to her, thats made all the more attractive because it's very nearly happened previously but when push comes to shove she'll back away because the reality might not live up to the fantasy and/or her partner might find out.
Some people enjoy dangling the carrot |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Go and enjoy meeting your friend again. Have a lovely meal at a good restaurant. Talk about the old times. It could be a chance to discuss future business opportunities! Expect nothing more than an evening of friends together. If it's worth the travel, just for this, then you will have a great time.
Anything else... Well just make sure you don't spoil a friendship, hurt any relationships, or damage anyone's career. Above that, you're both adults and can decide between you how you'd like to spend your time together.
PS. Don't take any advice from anyone on here. We're all crazy and make stupid decisions about sex... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site) 7 weeks ago
|
There's no signs to read, if someone is hot and cold, that's your sign. If you're confused about where you stand with someone, stay standing and let them keep on walking. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
