FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > To Msn Or Not To Msn Before A Meet
To Msn Or Not To Msn Before A Meet
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We are newish to the site and swinging and still to have our first bit of fun 
we notice many people have on their profile that they are not into msn chat etc before a meet, i understand this is up to each person or couple but how do people who have never met know its likely they are going to get on when they have not discussed what they do and dont like and bounderies etc also.
in the last 24 hours we have been invited to meet 2 couples together at a hotel, neither of the couples we know or have seen body and face pics or had any communication with and they dont know what we look like.
Do many people just not really care what people look like before meeting and just invite basically strangers. If they had read our profile they may have realised a situation like that aint suited to first timers.
we were also invited to meet a couple on sat night, they did not ask about chatting or anything nor did it seem they wanted to know what we looked like, we thought they looked ok but when we specified by message that we wanted soft swing same room and it would be our first time swinging, the responses were a bit vague and did not inspire confidence in wanting to meet this couple, i mean as first timers we aint going to go and meet and shag anyone who just wants to meet and shag us. We would like to at least discuss some basic things by msn and see face pics.
In my opinion i think it is wise to have some sort of communication and discuss things before agreeing to meet and msn seems a good way of breaking the ice between you and anyone you are considering meeting.
yet we have chatted to a few people on msn who have not appeared back on msn so think they are timewasters, then one couple on msn, the guy seemed to be perving over things too much sending us porn pics and porn clips suggesting we try them out, it did very little for us but seemed to be his thing till he got pushy when we did not answer his message within 5 mins so we just told them to forget it.
so although i think we would prefer msn chat first it has its disadvantages  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was like that but not alot of people like that, much easier to meet in a public place i.e pub and decide if there attraction and go on to wherever if all parties get on x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we prefer not to play on first meet so that you dont have to pressure yourself into doing something your not happy with. Speak on phone to make sure they are genuine couple. Ask for pics if its important to you. Make your own rules and try to stick to them until you are comfortable to move on a bit. Good luck and play safe  |
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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago
a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5 |
I have just ended up with a load of folk onmsn that I dont really know and routinely get rid of
I like a call and a recent face pic, if they dont look like said face pic, I can and do leave x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you just need to do whatever makes you feel comfortable , I personally wouldn't meet without some form of msn contact first along with a phonecall xxx you will always get timewasters but take it in your stride and do things at your pace xxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We normally insist on a phone chat prior to a meet, but we have met couples and played on the strength of one phone call. If you feel comfortable on a first meet and they feel the same, go fo it.
Happy hunting xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like msn cos it gives me a sense of who the other person is easily and fast.
In an email it can be written and rewritten until it sounds just as the other person wants it to sound and sometimes can make people sound very different to who the actually are - but so can msn I have found this out to my detriment in the past. 
I like to see pics of bodies before commiting to msn then I need to see face pics or if poss face on cam, again before commiting to meet in a public place.
I know loads of people like phone calls between women at the same time as on cam either on msn or here in a chat room personally I think thats a good idea at times.
I could never meet someone without first seeing what they look like same as I always show face pics to anyone as soon as it looks like we could meet up in the future.
Shona
x x x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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used to chat on msn but always got people who wanted to play on cam when it clearly states not interested in that...
we do ask for pic but prefer to meet socially first can be at a club/party/pub but always say no pressure, but if chemistry is there then we will...
we have met people that look fab in pic but then not liked them in person and also vice versa so for us you cant beat ineraction between people... |
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"I think you just need to do whatever makes you feel comfortable , I personally wouldn't meet without some form of msn contact first along with a phonecall xxx you will always get timewasters but take it in your stride and do things at your pace xxxxx"
Yes I agree totally with this. Personally I think it helps with seeing if everyone 'clicks' and if you get any time wasters or anything then you have found them out without getting stood up etc, then it's just one quick click to block & delete. However I do understand why some people don't like it, not everything is for everyone. It it were life would be so dull |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you just need to do whatever makes you feel comfortable , I personally wouldn't meet without some form of msn contact first along with a phonecall xxx you will always get timewasters but take it in your stride and do things at your pace xxxxx
Yes I agree totally with this. Personally I think it helps with seeing if everyone 'clicks' and if you get any time wasters or anything then you have found them out without getting stood up etc, then it's just one quick click to block & delete. However I do understand why some people don't like it, not everything is for everyone. It it were life would be so dull "
i agree with this also...
when i was on as a single lady my safety was the most important thing so always insited on msn first before i took things further.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only give my msn to people I'm likely to meet, not those that ask after one message. I chat on here for a while and then prefer a telephone conversation as a deep, sexy voice turns me on too. You can exchange photos and videos too, and no, not ex rated ones! With msn some men think flashing their bits is a turn on, which it's not. I never play on a first meet and always meet in a public place. At the end of the day it is down to what makes you comfortable! |
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"with the new chat, you can see the person on cam and chat in private, so eliminates the need to give out msn.
"
True but if the chat is busy then you can easily miss messages etc and also have the quite common accidental miss-type that leads to a public rather than private message. If you have a msn account dedicated to chatting to new people then you theoretically should have less to be concerned about re giving out msn. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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yeah well we think we should at least chat a bit via msn and that way if your going to get your time wasted you can hopefully avoid it happening in person.
i dont think the site chat is a good idea but a 1 to 1 chat can give you the chance to out and shady people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if i think im gonna possibly meet them i give my msn. my profile clearly states i dont do cam so if anyone asks i block them!! i like to see if i can build up a rapport with people first, thats my own choice.
dont lose faith im sure what u lookin for is out there x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Each to their own.
I used to chat on MSN a lot, however, I don't have the time or energy anymore!
If I were to meet a gentleman, then I would do whatever I can to find out as much as possible about him first.
This includes using MSN, e-mails and phone calls.
And yes I must see a face pic or as many pics as possible, and have been known to turn down a gent based on torso and/or face pic alone!
Once I have a good rapport about the person, then I may consider meeting him.
I can usually tell if someone floats my boat via MSN within 15min!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We could not care less what pics people put on, dont really care how eloquent they are online. We meet socially n chat face to face n then make our decision, to play or not to play, that is the question. Pics are fine- but as we have found not everyone is totally honest and we met a guy who was at least 10 years older than his pic, and another guy who had re-grown his foreskin, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We could not care less what pics people put on, dont really care how eloquent they are online. We meet socially n chat face to face n then make our decision, to play or not to play, that is the question. Pics are fine- but as we have found not everyone is totally honest and we met a guy who was at least 10 years older than his pic, and another guy who had re-grown his foreskin,"
wow its amazin what you can grow now lol!!! same happened to me when i was kinda new to this guy sent pic arranged to meet in pub...walked past him 7 times his pic had been taken at least 10 yr previous!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We could not care less what pics people put on, dont really care how eloquent they are online. We meet socially n chat face to face n then make our decision, to play or not to play, that is the question. Pics are fine- but as we have found not everyone is totally honest and we met a guy who was at least 10 years older than his pic, and another guy who had re-grown his foreskin,"
Where is the round of applause icon when you need it, spot on!!
Phone call then a meet for a no strings chat has worked absolutely fine for us over the years |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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wow its amazin what you can grow now lol!!! same happened to me when i was kinda new to this guy sent pic arranged to meet in pub...walked past him 7 times his pic had been taken at least 10 yr previous!!
Guy we met asked why we didn't want to play so we told him he was much older than his pic suggested - he said "I didn't realise pic was so old, but thinking about it my wife took it on holiday and she has been dead 8 years!". We were gobsmacked lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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depends how you define "msn".
personally, its a messahing system to me for chatting, not an automatic invite for cybersex. so i would "msn" someone if they had it to chat, get to know them, fully clothed and take it from there. more comfortable that way. |
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We prefer to msn before hand, with all 4 on cam (for chat, never play), so can get a feel for how we all get on with each other - mainly this is because most of our meets have involved a 100+ mile round trip so prefer to have some confidence before we set off ...
We also find this helps to out the timewasters in that if they cant arrange to be on cam together within first few days of making contact then it is most likely its a guy pretending to be a couple  |
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By *andKCouple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"We prefer to msn before hand, with all 4 on cam (for chat, never play), so can get a feel for how we all get on with each other - mainly this is because most of our meets have involved a 100+ mile round trip so prefer to have some confidence before we set off ...
We also find this helps to out the timewasters in that if they cant arrange to be on cam together within first few days of making contact then it is most likely its a guy pretending to be a couple "
spot on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think MSN is the tool of satan so not for me.
People have a load of folks on there and havent a clue who half are..
then they go into mindless chat with folks on the hope of a meet by saying ' so 'what you upto tonight '..... if the answer is ' in bed with flu '... they drop you like a hot stone and move onto next entry and so on and so on.....
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"but remember not everyone has a cam so its not really a sure way of knowing if a couple is genuine"
very true; and all must respect & appreciate that (tho these day their numbers are fewer - and wud bet that a fair percentage of those who say they dont have, actually DO have) so a brief phone call should not be out of the question - most mobiles have Loudspeaker feature so all can be involved in the call |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I say on my profile no msn but thats only because I get a first message from someone no conversation first, just an msn addy and that I don't like. However once i've spoken for a while and I like someone I'm happy to chat there. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I stopped adding to msn because i only added up with cam wankers
and you suprised by that Cherry.. looking as gorgeous as you do xx"
I hate cam wankers bucks grrrrrrrrrrr |
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