I'm all sweetness and light to everyone I know - the kind of person random strangers approach and start chatting to when I'm out and about.
If I were to ever mention my swinging activities to anyone I knew, they'd assume I was having them on! So, no - you probably can't tell all swingers just by some form of pervy spider-sense.
They wouldn't believe my Mrs would do the things she does. That makes it hotter.
We've said things about it and we always get " yeah whatever, noway yous would do anything like that " 😂😂😂