FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > soft swap verification
soft swap verification
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It was soft swing, he was there and did get own partner fun but how that equates to full threesome I don't know. Its annoying but mostly I don't want other couples thinking that full swap or threesomes is something that I do as I am mostly into ff play. I'm wondering a little that it's an ego thing as once before with another couple I looked through my girly pics only to see a cock in the foreground presumably to show he was there, most confused.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It was soft swing, he was there and did get own partner fun but how that equates to full threesome I don't know. Its annoying but mostly I don't want other couples thinking that full swap or threesomes is something that I do as I am mostly into ff play. I'm wondering a little that it's an ego thing as once before with another couple I looked through my girly pics only to see a cock in the foreground presumably to show he was there, most confused. "
It may have been a genuine verification, because there were 3 of you playing.
OK so maybe you weren't playing with the guy, it was just GG on your part, but he was right there with you both playing with his girl right?
Thats still a threesome of sorts. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I personally don't consider the evening to have been anything other than soft swap, I can see your point but after meeting the male half of the couple I don't believe it was a mistake or misenterpretation of the meaning of threesome but more of an ego thing. Very nice pics btw!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree it's still a threesome. Some people verify the fact that they met someone(s) for a cuppa and a chat.
I really don't think you have anything to worry about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A threesome, doesn't necessarily mean it was strict fullswap playing. A 3 some, just means there was 3 there playing, if you all played together soft or full.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A threesome, doesn't necessarily mean it was strict fullswap playing. A 3 some, just means there was 3 there playing, if you all played together soft or full.
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How does that work then, my hubby was there too but it definitely wasn't a foursome!
Maybe I've got my wires crossed about the meaning of soft swap, makes sense really since the males always seem to presume I will fuck them for "letting" me play with their wives. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If your hubby was there watching but not taking part i wouldn't consider that a 4-some.
But if 3 of you are playing it's a 3 some of sorts. Especially for the other girl if she is playing or being played with her fella and yourself.
soft play just means no penile penetration. oral, fingers, etc is still acceptable to some - you need to ask to find out levels and boundaries of others as it means different things to different people.
If it's just the girls playing together it's girl-girl.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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3 years swinging and I still can't figure it out!
My hubby will play with me if I ask him but has yet to claim a foursome score for not playing with anyone else but me, I suppose it's all down to the dynamic of each couple |
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Labels ... they're kinda guidance rather than specific. It doesn't matter if it's written up as a threesome. Just give them verification back saying "Was a great night. No penetrative sex and mostly just FF play but enjoyed every moment". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It was soft swing, he was there and did get own partner fun but how that equates to full threesome I don't know. Its annoying but mostly I don't want other couples thinking that full swap or threesomes is something that I do as I am mostly into ff play. I'm wondering a little that it's an ego thing as once before with another couple I looked through my girly pics only to see a cock in the foreground presumably to show he was there, most confused.
It may have been a genuine verification, because there were 3 of you playing.
OK so maybe you weren't playing with the guy, it was just GG on your part, but he was right there with you both playing with his girl right?
Thats still a threesome of sorts."
Hard to say for certain without seeing it but that's my thoughts too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It was soft swing, he was there and did get own partner fun but how that equates to full threesome I don't know. Its annoying but mostly I don't want other couples thinking that full swap or threesomes is something that I do as I am mostly into ff play. I'm wondering a little that it's an ego thing as once before with another couple I looked through my girly pics only to see a cock in the foreground presumably to show he was there, most confused.
It may have been a genuine verification, because there were 3 of you playing.
OK so maybe you weren't playing with the guy, it was just GG on your part, but he was right there with you both playing with his girl right?
Thats still a threesome of sorts.
Hard to say for certain without seeing it but that's my thoughts too."
That could well explain why I find the hubbies expecting a shag when I arrange soft swap! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It was soft swing, he was there and did get own partner fun but how that equates to full threesome I don't know. Its annoying but mostly I don't want other couples thinking that full swap or threesomes is something that I do as I am mostly into ff play. I'm wondering a little that it's an ego thing as once before with another couple I looked through my girly pics only to see a cock in the foreground presumably to show he was there, most confused.
It may have been a genuine verification, because there were 3 of you playing.
OK so maybe you weren't playing with the guy, it was just GG on your part, but he was right there with you both playing with his girl right?
Thats still a threesome of sorts.
Hard to say for certain without seeing it but that's my thoughts too.
That could well explain why I find the hubbies expecting a shag when I arrange soft swap!"
that's just classed as meeting the wrong type of couples.
far too many of those out there - happy to arrange soft play or GG only - to want to change the deal when you meet.
It's called "bait and switch" to sucker you into to playing with them (the male).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't worry about it too much, just hide the veri from your profile. Even if you show it I think it would be rude of others to assume that just because you did something on one meet that you'd do it with them.
I always discuss boundaries before a meet. If either of us aren't happy then we don't play, or negotiate what we're both/ all happy with.
If men are getting arsey about you not playing with them when you already said beforehand that it would be ff and/or soft swap only, they are rude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why would you need to put that level of details in a verification anyway? Who played with who is largely irrelevant isn't it? I was under the impression that verifications were just that you are who you say you are, you turned up as arranged and they possibly found you attractive...we'd just read it as a couple met a couple based on your profile information...not a blow by blow account |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why would you need to put that level of details in a verification anyway? Who played with who is largely irrelevant isn't it? I was under the impression that verifications were just that you are who you say you are, you turned up as arranged and they possibly found you attractive...we'd just read it as a couple met a couple based on your profile information...not a blow by blow account"
The whole point is that there was no need to put what a great threesome he had with me when he didn't!
With the answers I've had on here I'm getting a touch confused about the difference between a soft swap and a threesome.
Do I have to expect a certain amount of contact with the male in a soft swap?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would you need to put that level of details in a verification anyway? Who played with who is largely irrelevant isn't it? I was under the impression that verifications were just that you are who you say you are, you turned up as arranged and they possibly found you attractive...we'd just read it as a couple met a couple based on your profile information...not a blow by blow account
The whole point is that there was no need to put what a great threesome he had with me when he didn't!
With the answers I've had on here I'm getting a touch confused about the difference between a soft swap and a threesome.
Do I have to expect a certain amount of contact with the male in a soft swap?
"
looks like you are confused - a "swap" is just that - swapping partners!
"soft swap" is swapping partners and playing oral, touching etc - with no penile penetration. So yes, you would expect plenty of contact with the other male in a "soft swap" situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would you need to put that level of details in a verification anyway? Who played with who is largely irrelevant isn't it? I was under the impression that verifications were just that you are who you say you are, you turned up as arranged and they possibly found you attractive...we'd just read it as a couple met a couple based on your profile information...not a blow by blow account"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Soft swap means different things for different people but generally it's assumed that soft swap is everything apart from penetrative sex, three sums are if three people play together ( if he was playing with his partner whilst you we're playing with her personally we would class that as a three sum ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would you need to put that level of details in a verification anyway? Who played with who is largely irrelevant isn't it? I was under the impression that verifications were just that you are who you say you are, you turned up as arranged and they possibly found you attractive...we'd just read it as a couple met a couple based on your profile information...not a blow by blow account
The whole point is that there was no need to put what a great threesome he had with me when he didn't!
With the answers I've had on here I'm getting a touch confused about the difference between a soft swap and a threesome.
Do I have to expect a certain amount of contact with the male in a soft swap?
"
Honey-you don't have to expect anything you don't want to-the ground rules you lay down are yours and yours alone and anyone who over steps them or tries to should in no uncertain terms have them reestablished or be asked to leave...if his verification is untrue don't display it but my point was that we would never expect anything to happen with us just because you had a verification stating you had done it with anyone else.,or even if it had happened with us previously...each meet is a new experience in itself |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why would you need to put that level of details in a verification anyway? Who played with who is largely irrelevant isn't it? I was under the impression that verifications were just that you are who you say you are, you turned up as arranged and they possibly found you attractive...we'd just read it as a couple met a couple based on your profile information...not a blow by blow account
The whole point is that there was no need to put what a great threesome he had with me when he didn't!
With the answers I've had on here I'm getting a touch confused about the difference between a soft swap and a threesome.
Do I have to expect a certain amount of contact with the male in a soft swap?
looks like you are confused - a "swap" is just that - swapping partners!
"soft swap" is swapping partners and playing oral, touching etc - with no penile penetration. So yes, you would expect plenty of contact with the other male in a "soft swap" situation."
"Soft Swing is when there is playing around but not full penetrative sex with others. Often, in a couples situation, the women will have sex with each other with the men watching and then the couples will have sex with their own partners."
That's the Fabswingers definition, have to remember from now on that this means there is absolutely no choice in the "interests" part of the profile to show my interest in lesbian fun with couples! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Honey-you don't have to expect anything you don't want to-the ground rules you lay down are yours and yours alone and anyone who over steps them or tries to should in no uncertain terms have them reestablished or be asked to leave...if his verification is untrue don't display it but my point was that we would never expect anything to happen with us just because you had a verification stating you had done it with anyone else.,or even if it had happened with us previously...each meet is a new experience in itself"
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As people have said, it's obviously largely semantics. But did they say something that was directly untruthful? For us to comment, you'll need to copy the verification here, and if necessary describe the meet in more detail too (or perhaps in stories/fantasies). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would you need to put that level of details in a verification anyway? Who played with who is largely irrelevant isn't it? I was under the impression that verifications were just that you are who you say you are, you turned up as arranged and they possibly found you attractive...we'd just read it as a couple met a couple based on your profile information...not a blow by blow account
The whole point is that there was no need to put what a great threesome he had with me when he didn't!
With the answers I've had on here I'm getting a touch confused about the difference between a soft swap and a threesome.
Do I have to expect a certain amount of contact with the male in a soft swap?
looks like you are confused - a "swap" is just that - swapping partners!
"soft swap" is swapping partners and playing oral, touching etc - with no penile penetration. So yes, you would expect plenty of contact with the other male in a "soft swap" situation.
"Soft Swing is when there is playing around but not full penetrative sex with others. Often, in a couples situation, the women will have sex with each other with the men watching and then the couples will have sex with their own partners."
That's the Fabswingers definition, have to remember from now on that this means there is absolutely no choice in the "interests" part of the profile to show my interest in lesbian fun with couples! "
Fab has copied that from somewhere else - it's wrong.
If you only play with girls it's called "Girl-Girl".
If you allow the girl/s to play with their partner at the same time it's known as "Girl-Girl and own partner play".
Many have their own "definitions", but the above are widely known.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As people have said, it's obviously largely semantics. But did they say something that was directly untruthful? For us to comment, you'll need to copy the verification here, and if necessary describe the meet in more detail too (or perhaps in stories/fantasies). "
I felt it was directly untruthful to say I had a threesome with a couple when I only played with the female. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As people have said, it's obviously largely semantics. But did they say something that was directly untruthful? For us to comment, you'll need to copy the verification here, and if necessary describe the meet in more detail too (or perhaps in stories/fantasies).
I felt it was directly untruthful to say I had a threesome with a couple when I only played with the female. "
If you and he played with his girl at the same time - thats a 3some.
Admittedly it's not directly a 3some with you, but it was a 3some of sorts. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you and he played with his girl at the same time - thats a 3some.
Admittedly it's not directly a 3some with you, but it was a 3some of sorts."
Ah, two types of threesome with soft swing in the middle? Or is soft swing just between couples? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You seem to be getting hooked on the term soft swap/swing lol "
Yup, it's odd to find out something doesn't mean what you thought it did but it does explain a lot of things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You seem to be getting hooked on the term soft swap/swing lol
Yup, it's odd to find out something doesn't mean what you thought it did but it does explain a lot of things "
Lol that's the biggest problem with all these terms, they mean different things to different people it's all very subjective |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Lol that's the biggest problem with all these terms, they mean different things to different people it's all very subjective "
It's not that I don't love cock, I've got 20+ veris from single guys but if I get to have great lesbian fun with a genuinely bi lady the last thing I can be bothered doing after is breaking in a new guy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Lol that's the biggest problem with all these terms, they mean different things to different people it's all very subjective
It's not that I don't love cock, I've got 20+ veris from single guys but if I get to have great lesbian fun with a genuinely bi lady the last thing I can be bothered doing after is breaking in a new guy! "
pmsl just don't get hung up on labels they only mean something to someone else |
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