FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why can’t we find a female to join us?
Why can’t we find a female to join us?
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"We have been on this site about 10 years, we have chatted to some single females, but have never managed to get them to meet us?
What are we doing wrong?
Xx"
I go to clubs to meet people. It’s less pressure
Go to some couples and single ladies nights and you will probably meet some  |
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"We have been on this site about 10 years, we have chatted to some single females, but have never managed to get them to meet us?
What are we doing wrong?
Xx"
same for us realy, we think it because not many about and to many time wasters.
Jane xx |
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"I find that it’s difficult to meet a mf couple that both want a bi lady it’s usually male driven "
When i was more focused on meeting couples this was my experience. It can feel like you're just there to provide a service and leave. That being said i’ve met some amazing couples who have kept it balanced between all 3 people. As others have said OP socials or clubs are a great start (less fakes) xxx |
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By *m3232Man 10 weeks ago
maidenhead |
"We have been on this site about 10 years, we have chatted to some single females, but have never managed to get them to meet us?
What are we doing wrong?
Xx"
You are looking for a unicorn. Most will be guys having a wank talking to you.
Sadly lots on here are mainly for kinks and not much interest in meeting.
As a single guy on here it is even harder to meet. |
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"We have been on this site about 10 years, we have chatted to some single females, but have never managed to get them to meet us?
What are we doing wrong?
Xx
I go to clubs to meet people. It’s less pressure
Go to some couples and single ladies nights and you will probably meet some "
Agree with you on the going to clubs to meet people… couples and single ladies only nights however, tend to be majority couples though.
You’ll be lucky if you find one or two solo ladies in attendance. I know this as I’ve attended these nights with both my gf and FWB’s I’ve had.
The single women are the club events where there are single guys because that’s who most of the ladies are after. |
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I find this thread strange. I don't often speak to other women so can't vouch for the percentages of fakes. Or time wasters?
But I can say that most of the time I delete messages from couples it is because they've sent me their stock copy/paste message. That doesn't make me feel very special, like I could be one of hundreds that you've sent the same message to. What is about me that makes couples want me to join them? If it's just that I'm a woman, I'll pass. |
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"We have been on this site about 10 years, we have chatted to some single females, but have never managed to get them to meet us?
What are we doing wrong?
Xx"
Most single women prefer to meet in clubs. Many are open to playing with couples but want to see the vibe from both of a couple. What they don't want is to meet a couple with a jealous Wife and be involved in drama. You're one of many who don't get success meeting single Women on Fab. You may not get regular opportunities at clubs but you will get them occasionally. We find the club nights that allow single Men attract far more single Women and many are open to playing with couples. |
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We only play with single bi females so we know the struggle, but I decided that I didn't want to compromise and stuck to our guns. We seem to have been lucky and seem to find the elusive unicorns. We mostly meet them spontaneously at clubs, but also do find them on here. But it's a lot of hard work on fab, and I mean A Lot!!!!
I don't know what else to say, our veris speak volumes.
Mrs x
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You're looking for the same as most couples, men and some women too op, so it's not gonna be easy.
They have to be attracted to both of you, so that makes it even harder.
As others have said, people seem to do better meeting bi ladies at clubs and socials , they can be inundated on here. |
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I’d agree with the post above - most messages I get from couples are boring one liners. I even had one the other day which was just ‘oi’. We give single guys a hard time for terrible messaging, but in my experience they’re not the only ones…. |
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I used to meet couples but then most of the meets, the lady seemed to be there just to please her man. And I want a proper three-way fun, not just me being the performing monkey, giving but not receiving. As a lot of the time, I was not allowed to play with the man as that was "their dynamics".
I agree with one of the previous posters, it's very difficult to get a three-way attraction. If I'm attracted to the guy, the lady doesn't do anything for me and the other way round. So nowadays, I only meet in clubs, when I'm already going there anyway, with either my partner or my FWB.
However, if I was looking for couples and got a message from yourselves, OP, I would be questioning what my role would be in your dynamics. Your profile seem to concentrate on men only. |
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"We have been on this site about 10 years, we have chatted to some single females, but have never managed to get them to meet us?
What are we doing wrong?
Xx"
Definitely clubs are the best way to meet single females.. Chameleons being our personal favourite xx |
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We rarely play together these days and found couples quite difficult to find when we did and I have to say playing on my own I have found it just as tough.
I’d love to find a couple to play with but it’s about finding the right couple. I’ve had plenty of chats with couples but it’s never progressed to a meet. Time is often an issue as getting 3 diaries to align can be quite a task and then it just seems to fizzle out.
I want a couple who I can be friends with though and get on well with them both equally and I think that’s where the issue probably is for me as most aren’t looking for this. I need to feel a connection and attraction to both of them too.
Kx |
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"We have been on this site about 10 years, we have chatted to some single females, but have never managed to get them to meet us?
What are we doing wrong?
Xx
Most single women prefer to meet in clubs. Many are open to playing with couples but want to see the vibe from both of a couple. What they don't want is to meet a couple with a jealous Wife and be involved in drama. You're one of many who don't get success meeting single Women on Fab. You may not get regular opportunities at clubs but you will get them occasionally. We find the club nights that allow single Men attract far more single Women and many are open to playing with couples. "
Interesting concept. We’ve stayed away from single guy nights, but maybe we should try one? |
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Its simply a numbers game really. There are more far more couples chasing single women than there are actual single women, hence the genuine ones can be uber choosy.
I’d agree about fakes. Id say 80% of single women who contact me are nothing of the sort.
Then add in I want genuinely bisexual, not “I’ll ham it up” on here and then casually drop in about the fella who’s not mentioned on my “single” profile and wants to tag along…..
When we joined fab we thought it would be relatively easy for me to find ladies to play with; it has proven to be anything but.
Still, it can be done. Just takes time, patience and effort.
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"Its simply a numbers game really. There are more far more couples chasing single women than there are actual single women, hence the genuine ones can be uber choosy.
I’d agree about fakes. Id say 80% of single women who contact me are nothing of the sort.
Then add in I want genuinely bisexual, not “I’ll ham it up” on here and then casually drop in about the fella who’s not mentioned on my “single” profile and wants to tag along…..
When we joined fab we thought it would be relatively easy for me to find ladies to play with; it has proven to be anything but.
Still, it can be done. Just takes time, patience and effort.
"
Yes we have had the “I’ll only meet with my boyfriend “. What’s that about  |
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Most single female profiles on here are fake. Many couple profiles are a married man wishing his wife would participate. Clubs are really the best place to out the dross so you don’t waste your time. There’s quite a few couples where the male doesn’t participate but is quite happy to watch his wife with a couple. |
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It is difficult to meet single ladies on fab, we are lucky that we've found a few but since starting the Ipswich and Suffolk Socials we meet as many as we want. The last social event we had 20 ladies turn up! Try the social events in your are as they tend to get many more ladies than the clubs do. |
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"Its simply a numbers game really. There are more far more couples chasing single women than there are actual single women, hence the genuine ones can be uber choosy.
I’d agree about fakes. Id say 80% of single women who contact me are nothing of the sort.
Then add in I want genuinely bisexual, not “I’ll ham it up” on here and then casually drop in about the fella who’s not mentioned on my “single” profile and wants to tag along…..
When we joined fab we thought it would be relatively easy for me to find ladies to play with; it has proven to be anything but.
Still, it can be done. Just takes time, patience and effort.
Yes we have had the “I’ll only meet with my boyfriend “. What’s that about "
It's the Man running a single woman profile, it's fairly common. We've met couples that also have a single woman profile and the Man actually runs it. |
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Also to add… asking another couple (from their profile) if the lady plays alone is NOT the way to find yourself a single lady.
Not saying this is your approach OP but there are a few who do this and quite frankly it’s a blatant disrespect towards the lady and her fella. |
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"We have been on this site about 10 years, we have chatted to some single females, but have never managed to get them to meet us?
What are we doing wrong?
Xx
Most single women prefer to meet in clubs. Many are open to playing with couples but want to see the vibe from both of a couple. What they don't want is to meet a couple with a jealous Wife and be involved in drama. You're one of many who don't get success meeting single Women on Fab. You may not get regular opportunities at clubs but you will get them occasionally. We find the club nights that allow single Men attract far more single Women and many are open to playing with couples. "
I agree
I used to host cougars and cubs nights aimed at couples and rings women wanting to meet guys
The enough of single fems that ended up getting it on with couples on those nights was more than I anticipated
The hardest thing for couples wanting that bi single fem is they are competing with other couples and single men on here. Unless that single fem is purely looking for couples it’s not easy |
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"We have been on this site about 10 years, we have chatted to some single females, but have never managed to get them to meet us?
What are we doing wrong?
Xx
I go to clubs to meet people. It’s less pressure
Go to some couples and single ladies nights and you will probably meet some "
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By *adeiteWoman 10 weeks ago
Stafford |
On the flip side I feel similar. I was chatting to what I thought was a legit couple, getting along well. Exchanged photos, talking about meeting etc. Then blocked out of nowhere. Guess it was a single guy having a wank 
It's silly
But I will be going to clubs. Meeting off here is alot harder than it used to be in general, playing dodge the fakes continually. |
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"90% of the women who we have chatted to on here are fake we reckon!! "
I mean that's the beauty of clubs. People you meet face to face are definitely real (unless AI and robotics have advanced faster than I've realised on the club scene). Also don't forget other organised swingers events such as socials or festivals.
We can't really give any tips about meeting single ladies online as we don't really message people online. However in the real world we know it works for us. And not necessarily in the swinging world either. We've picked up ladies just on normal nights outs. Just be yourselves and socialise. If the chemistry is there it's there. If it's not there that just one of those things.
It's also fair to say we don't go out with a goal of finding single ladies. We just go out, meet people and take them as we find them. Sometimes it's couples, groups, guys or single ladies. I think when you go out just to find a good time and see what happens without pressure the magic just works. People just like to be with chilled people and just let things flow naturally. |
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