FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > sick of being compared!!!
sick of being compared!!!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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a very close friend of mine used to be a member on this site, she was on for about a year but deleted her profile about six months ago when she met her current partner. I seem to be constantly getting messages from people asking if I'm her or recognising me from her saying we were friends and expecting me to be the same, I'm not, in the slightest. I'd like to say it doesn't offend me, but the truth is, it does! She's almost 7 years older than me, 3 dress sizes bigger and completely different lookswise and personality! She met a lot of people off here where as I'm a lot more selective....it's at the point now where I have someone emailing me telling me he doesn't believe I'm not her!
sounds silly I know but it's beginning to pee me off!!!!
there, rant over  hope you're all having a great morning xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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tell me about it! I don't think I'd mind so much if after I said no, I'm not her, they wouldn't just assume that I'm either lying (why would I?) or just like her anyway! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"being compared to someone is only a good thing if it's a flattering comparison..."
Is this lady still your friend ??
And I was being sarcastic ... Im 3 times the size of her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"being compared to someone is only a good thing if it's a flattering comparison...
Is this lady still your friend ??
And I was being sarcastic ... Im 3 times the size of her "
I was wondering about the friend bit too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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yes, she's still my friend, and I love her to bits, but being told u look like someone who's 7 years older and a fair bit bigger and just completely different isn't overly flattering.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes, she's still my friend, and I love her to bits, but being told u look like someone who's 7 years older and a fair bit bigger and just completely different isn't overly flattering...."
not sure Im understanding why people think your her if your that much better/younger/slimmer? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I don't think I'm better! but I am younger and slimmer, that's not opinion, it's fact....truth is, I don't mind the comparison so much, it's more that people think I'm going to behave the same way as she did on here, which I'm not! we're very different people, that's all....I would never view myself as BETTER than anyone else! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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most definitely not! She is lovely and as I said, I love her to bits, but I am not her, I'm me, I'd rather people would get to know me instead of assume I'm just like her because we're friends. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think that's rubbish, there's nothing wrong with thinking someone's great without wanting to be just like them! I think my point has been totally misunderstood! |
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We all think we are better and worse than others. Its inevitable. I know i am a far far better guitarist than somebody i know . He is a better welder than i am ( i have never welded). A friend of mine has met a few guys who are a lot younger than me and she says they couldnt get hard or stay hard. I donthave a problem, so that makes me better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think maybe you have chosen an unfortunate way to express yourself then because to me it comes across as you slating her for being old, fat and will go with anything .....not saying thats how you meant it but if i were your pal and read this its how id take it....maybe show her your post and ask her how she takes it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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of course u can be better at something....doesn't make u a better person...I wasnt trying to put her down, just gets annoying having expectations you don't want against you! |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I wonder how you deal with this. Do you act indignant and get upset? or do you message back something like 'lol no, and when we meet you'll find out the difference '
It doesn't matter how old, how large, or how different someone is,. If you are being compared to someone who was obviously successful on here its probably better to be flattered and friendly with it, not upset and indignant. And if it is people who you're never going to meet then why worry anyway? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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she's with me now, we actually live together, she feels the same as I do...we're different people, that's what's annoying, she wouldn't like it if people assumed she was just like me... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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it depends what kind of message I get....I've had abuse from people I've knocked back because they met her and assumed I would do the same....those people get blocked, people that are polite are just corrected, politely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think that's rubbish, there's nothing wrong with thinking someone's great without wanting to be just like them! I think my point has been totally misunderstood!"
now then
if you had stuck with your initial OP, I would have been with you on this comment
but it is this comment you made in a later post that made me think twice
'being compared to someone is only a good thing if it's a flattering comparison'
to me, the intimation there is that she is older and fatter which, in your eyes, can never be flattering
maybe not to you, but for some people older and fatter could be a definite plus
we all have opinions of our friends and i understand that you probably do love her to bits, but when it comes down to it some things are better off just left internalised
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm not sure I know any women who would like to be told they look nearly 7 years older and about 6 stone heavier....she agrees! she wouldn't wanna be told she looks like me tho, I'm a short arse (her words) with a fat arse and boobs that are far to big in her opinion.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow
I love my friends and would never discuss them like this on an open forum , not sure they would be so happy about me doing it either
Just my opinion  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have a very good relationship with my friend, we're honest with each other, she agrees it would annoy her to, just as I would be annoyed being compared to a 20 year old size 12....not because I think im better or I think they're unattractive, simply because I'm not! Is it so wrong for me to want to be myself and not to have assumptions made about me?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex once got offended when I said her and her best mate looked similar. It happens. What a big conicidence though that out of all the people on here people think you look same as your friend. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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the only similarity is that we're both big ladies, I'm a size 18, she's a 24/26, im a 38g, she's a 42d, she's 5ft 10, im 5ft5, she has very short hair and not much of an ass, my hairs really long and my ass has its own postcode! We couldn't be mire different personality wise and we like different things, it's just annoying when people expect you to be something you're not! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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as a big girl myself I'd be a bit of a hypocrite Irving was saying it in that way, she's gorgeous! much prettier than me! I really think you're missing my point! I just don't wanna be compared to ANYONE! I'd rather people just take me as they find me, not expect me to be like someone im not! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the only similarity is that we're both big ladies, I'm a size 18, she's a 24/26, im a 38g, she's a 42d, she's 5ft 10, im 5ft5, she has very short hair and not much of an ass, my hairs really long and my ass has its own postcode! We couldn't be mire different personality wise and we like different things, it's just annoying when people expect you to be something you're not!"
Any chance of that postcode for my satnav lol?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"tell me about it! I don't think I'd mind so much if after I said no, I'm not her, they wouldn't just assume that I'm either lying (why would I?) or just like her anyway!"
Just block them after you reply if you don't intend meeting them. That ends the conversation so they can't keep annoying you. |
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"I'm not sure I know any women who would like to be told they look nearly 7 years older and about 6 stone heavier....she agrees! she wouldn't wanna be told she looks like me tho, I'm a short arse (her words) with a fat arse and boobs that are far to big in her opinion...."
lol great friends very honest  |
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are they messaging you because they know who you are from your profile and that you were freinds? I know I'm being a bit thick but I wouldn't recognise even my closest friend from your pictures so I don't know how they know who you are  .
That aside I would say ignore it, they are doing it because they think that if they know her and have had a meet with her that you will think that they're ok and meet them too.
It isn't nice to be compared with anyone favourably or not we're all individuals, maybe tell them that and let them know they'll be blocked if they do it again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"are they messaging you because they know who you are from your profile and that you were freinds? I know I'm being a bit thick but I wouldn't recognise even my closest friend from your pictures so I don't know how they know who you are .
That aside I would say ignore it, they are doing it because they think that if they know her and have had a meet with her that you will think that they're ok and meet them too.
It isn't nice to be compared with anyone favourably or not we're all individuals, maybe tell them that and let them know they'll be blocked if they do it again."
am glad someone seems to understand my point, she had similar pics when she was in here and a lot of members knew we were friends, I met a lot of her meets as we live together... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think dangerouslycurvy was trying to say it's annoying when men expect her to behave and react in the same way as her friend who is totally different in looks and experience on fab. I think. "
basically yes, it wasn't a personal slur on my friend, but she knows that so it's all good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe the tits look the same 
with several sizes difference and me having a tattoo on mine? "
Wouldn't Know as I've not stalked your profile or hers but if my friend said that about me I'd be pissed sorry
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"as a big girl myself I'd be a bit of a hypocrite Irving was saying it in that way, she's gorgeous! much prettier than me! I really think you're missing my point! I just don't wanna be compared to ANYONE! I'd rather people just take me as they find me, not expect me to be like someone im not!"
Set up a male profile and see the way you get compared and dismissed. Then put a face pic on your profile.
This will enable you to understand comparrisons and stop incorrect identification.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe the tits look the same
with several sizes difference and me having a tattoo on mine?
Wouldn't Know as I've not stalked your profile or hers but if my friend said that about me I'd be pissed sorry
"
that's your opinion, she's not offended by anything I've said, and that's all that matters to me |
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"are they messaging you because they know who you are from your profile and that you were freinds? I know I'm being a bit thick but I wouldn't recognise even my closest friend from your pictures so I don't know how they know who you are .
That aside I would say ignore it, they are doing it because they think that if they know her and have had a meet with her that you will think that they're ok and meet them too.
It isn't nice to be compared with anyone favourably or not we're all individuals, maybe tell them that and let them know they'll be blocked if they do it again.
am glad someone seems to understand my point, she had similar pics when she was in here and a lot of members knew we were friends, I met a lot of her meets as we live together..."
I see, then these are people who imagine that all women are the same especially those who use sites like this. Shocking I know but these relics from 1642 do still exist. At least you know who they are and can avoid them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe the tits look the same
with several sizes difference and me having a tattoo on mine?
Wouldn't Know as I've not stalked your profile or hers but if my friend said that about me I'd be pissed sorry
that's your opinion, she's not offended by anything I've said, and that's all that matters to me"
That's my opinion and a lot of people on here too
If your getting harassed just block males simples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe block all males contacting you if your not playing "
Agreed, then you can mail anybody you want with our being hassled, have you ever made the first move on here?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe block all males contacting you if your not playing
Agreed, then you can mail anybody you want with our being hassled, have you ever made the first move on here??"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it's not ALL males that do it...."
Doesn't matter, it obviously bothers you, just block us all and chat to the ones you want to, by emailing them first, |
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"I think maybe you have chosen an unfortunate way to express yourself then because to me it comes across as you slating her for being old, fat and will go with anything .....not saying thats how you meant it but if i were your pal and read this its how id take it....maybe show her your post and ask her how she takes it?"
Can't say I think much of this 'friendship'. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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haha look at me!!! you couldn't be more wrong, just was having a rant, same as a good chunk of the people who post on here....people get so nasty on here lately! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"haha look at me!!! you couldn't be more wrong, just was having a rant, same as a good chunk of the people who post on here....people get so nasty on here lately! "
But when you have a rant your supposed to pith the obligatory 'rant over' quote at the end, once you do that you can get away with anything!!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"haha look at me!!! you couldn't be more wrong, just was having a rant, same as a good chunk of the people who post on here....people get so nasty on here lately!
But when you have a rant your supposed to pith the obligatory 'rant over' quote at the end, once you do that you can get away with anything!! "
will defo use this technique next time! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"haha look at me!!! you couldn't be more wrong, just was having a rant, same as a good chunk of the people who post on here....people get so nasty on here lately!
But when you have a rant your supposed to pith the obligatory 'rant over' quote at the end, once you do that you can get away with anything!!
will defo use this technique next time!"
My apologies , I have re read your OP and you did write 'rant over' |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"haha look at me!!! you couldn't be more wrong, just was having a rant, same as a good chunk of the people who post on here....people get so nasty on here lately!
But when you have a rant your supposed to pith the obligatory 'rant over' quote at the end, once you do that you can get away with anything!!
will defo use this technique next time!
My apologies , I have re read your OP and you did write 'rant over' "
well bugger me! see! I followed the rules and everything!
I'm past caring now though tbh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I also cannot understand how guys are mistaking you for someone else if you have only boobs and ass as a comparison.
If however someone else says 'hey you look like ...... You just say 'no I'm not her'. That should be the end of it shouldn't it?
From the comments you have made about your 'very close friend' ie, older, fatter and not fussy with loads of meets, then I can only say that good old cliche 'with friends like you love who needs enemies' |
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