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Does my disability bother you
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I have photosensitive epilepsy, which is almost always controlled by medication. The only indication I am having a seizure is I drift off for half a minute or so, and afterwards feel tired. Would you refuse to meet me knowing this?
I once foolishly mentioned it on my profile and was subjected to quite a bit of nasty abuse, being called a freak etc which was upsetting, which has since made me more shy and my usually happy self has quickly disappeared. I am still shy on initial chat which reflects in my messages, but quickly disappears when chatting. Sadly I am now apprehensive initially approaching people.
All I need is some reassurance that I am welcomed and wanted by the swinging community and not such a “freak” after all |
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I wouldn't be bothered but it also isn't necessary or relevant to mention. If you're meeting someone you can tell them beforehand as a heads up but up until that point it's no one else's business to know.
Loads of people have some kind of difference going on on this site. I'm ADHD Autistic and there are plenty of other disabilities represented here. |
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By *ohn 66Man 4 weeks ago
Birmingham |
Before meeting you I'd like to know whether I might need to offer any support, what to avoid and what I should do if required.
Maybe discussing this before meeting someone might help filter out the people you wouldn't want to meet anyway x
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Not quite same, but I have a severe peanut allergy. I do mention it to prospective meets and it's got life threatening consequences
So, if you are more comfortable raising it with people than not, do so.
It's up to them how they receive it (bothered or not) and that's something you can't control. |
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By (user no longer on site) 4 weeks ago
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To the vast vast majority of people here it wouldn't be an issue, the kind of person who would message you abuse is not welcome in the community. Likely their accounts are just for trolling purposes.
Myself and my wife have played with many people with different ailments inclusing one with photosensitive epilepsy and it has never hindered meeting or play in any way. Juno herself has fibromyalgia and is ASD but we have been welcomed warmly by the community.
This community is for everyone. |
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"Before meeting you I'd like to know whether I might need to offer any support, what to avoid and what I should do if required.
Maybe discussing this before meeting someone might help filter out the people you wouldn't want to meet anyway x
"
Agree with this. My main concern would be knowing what to do if something happened, or how to behave/communicate in a way which was a positive experience.
OP you’ll always get the odd troll from someone on here, but usually it’s someone already angry at their own lack of success looking to pull people down.
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Again slightly different but I have battled and overcome a serious addiction and I make sure I tell anyone before the meet about it.
They will either be supportive or run a mile.
It's the same for any medical issue. definitely say in advance |
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By *ungandMan 4 weeks ago
daveyhulme |
"Not quite same, but I have a severe peanut allergy. I do mention it to prospective meets and it's got life threatening consequences
So, if you are more comfortable raising it with people than not, do so.
It's up to them how they receive it (bothered or not) and that's something you can't control. "
It’s definitely something you should discuss with a potential meet saves any health risk |
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"I have photosensitive epilepsy, which is almost always controlled by medication. The only indication I am having a seizure is I drift off for half a minute or so, and afterwards feel tired. Would you refuse to meet me knowing this?
I once foolishly mentioned it on my profile and was subjected to quite a bit of nasty abuse, being called a freak etc which was upsetting, which has since made me more shy and my usually happy self has quickly disappeared. I am still shy on initial chat which reflects in my messages, but quickly disappears when chatting. Sadly I am now apprehensive initially approaching people.
All I need is some reassurance that I am welcomed and wanted by the swinging community and not such a “freak” after all"
It wouldn’t put us off meeting you if we were attracted, what we would want to clarify beforehand is any care that may be needed after a seizure. Useful to let people know when at the stage of planning a meet. |
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"I have photosensitive epilepsy, which is almost always controlled by medication. The only indication I am having a seizure is I drift off for half a minute or so, and afterwards feel tired. Would you refuse to meet me knowing this? Not at all I have had snide comments in the past at one of the socials I run I had been poorly and unfortunately at the end of the night , a rude woman put how disgusting it was that the host was falling down d*unk I pointed out that if she didn't know the difference between falling down d*unk and a seizure she should maybe Google it
I once foolishly mentioned it on my profile and was subjected to quite a bit of nasty abuse, being called a freak etc which was upsetting, which has since made me more shy and my usually happy self has quickly disappeared. I am still shy on initial chat which reflects in my messages, but quickly disappears when chatting. Sadly I am now apprehensive initially approaching people.
All I need is some reassurance that I am welcomed and wanted by the swinging community and not such a “freak” after all"
 |
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"I have photosensitive epilepsy, which is almost always controlled by medication. The only indication I am having a seizure is I drift off for half a minute or so, and afterwards feel tired. Would you refuse to meet me knowing this? Not at all I have had snide comments in the past at one of the socials I run I had been poorly and unfortunately at the end of the night , a rude woman put how disgusting it was that the host was falling down d*unk I pointed out that if she didn't know the difference between falling down d*unk and a seizure she should maybe Google it
I once foolishly mentioned it on my profile and was subjected to quite a bit of nasty abuse, being called a freak etc which was upsetting, which has since made me more shy and my usually happy self has quickly disappeared. I am still shy on initial chat which reflects in my messages, but quickly disappears when chatting. Sadly I am now apprehensive initially approaching people.
All I need is some reassurance that I am welcomed and wanted by the swinging community and not such a “freak” after all "
I had a rather nasty woman make a nasty woman make a rude comment. I run a social and had been unwell unfortunately I had a seizure at the social she said how disgusting it was that the host was falling down d*unk. Afterwards I told her if she didn't know the difference between a seizure and falling down d*unk she should look it up |
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As a couple with disabilities ourselves we know how cruel others can be we would still meet people with disabilities and is always good to know before hand what the disability is and what we can do to help if it happened duing the meet |
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By *oxy jWoman 4 weeks ago
somerset |
im gonna be honest id be pissed off if you didnt tell tell me until we were actually meeting so much so id cancel the meet ...
i hope those who abused you were reported ...
somebody has already said it this community is for all but bare in mind nobody owes you anything just for being here ...you will find it differcult just because your a guy ... your disability will affect some and wont others but waiting til the meet to tell someone is not going to work you dont have to put it on profile but you should mention it to any one whos thinking of meeting.. honest n upfront...
gook luck op
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Always tell people but the number of ladies n couples who have later cancelled meets with mind blowing excuses is amazing and annoying. If they don’t want to meet me just say so upfront.
Tbh as a single guy with epilepsy I’m not expecting a single meet, but at least I’m honest and upfront. But it’s so frustrating as I’m a genuinely nice guy  |
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It wouldn't bother me if I knew this about someone I was meeting.
As long as I did know and had info of how I could help. If I didn't know and it happened, it opens up to actions that don't necessarily need to happen, like calling 999 etc.
I think definitely though it should be something that is mentioned prior to meet just incase. |
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"Not quite same, but I have a severe peanut allergy. I do mention it to prospective meets and it's got life threatening consequences
"
I have a hazelnut allergy. Fancy a double suicide with a bag of mixed nuts? 😘 |
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To get abuse for a medical condition is vile, and totally lacks any form of empathy.
Definitely a heads up about it when meeting, sure, but that is only so the other party can offer support if needed.
To be honest, I drift off and feel tired on some meets! |
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"Before meeting you I'd like to know whether I might need to offer any support, what to avoid and what I should do if required.
Maybe discussing this before meeting someone might help filter out the people you wouldn't want to meet anyway x
"
This for sure, especially if any support is required, even if it is only tlc. |
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I would rather know if there was going to be any chance of medical episodes etc just in case i can help or if i needed to do anything specific. Disabilities themselves dont phase me i wouldnt stop a meet because of them. |
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By *ister_EMan 4 weeks ago
Hayling Island |
Years ago I roped into volunteering to coach beach volleyball at a centre for people with mental disabilities (from severe epilepsy). Turned out to an amazing and very fulfilling experience in the end.
I was a little freaked out the first day when a couple of participants had episodes, bought on by the excitement. But It quickly just became part of the normal routine.
So no it wouldn't bother me in a prospective partner if I was aware of it beforehand. Having said that I wouldn't want to have anything in their mouth during an episode, that's for sure  |
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