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By *leetus40 OP Man 13 weeks ago
East Tilbury |
I don’t understand this site, much the same as dating apps I guess. I’m constantly sending messages yet get zero replies. I don’t understand it. I’m not vulgar or just sending photos of my dick. I’m single, have my own place. Always send a message asking how someone’s day has been.
I get I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea but it’s ridiculous. I notice most of the time my message just gets deleted without even a reply as to why. Some feedback would be nice!. So what’s the deal?. Any pointers would be great  |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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"how's your day been?" Is the equivalent of a "hi".
People get 100s of those. Try and send something a little bit more engaging? Something that shows you're read their profile, and that might pique their interest and elicit a reply.
Why are you messaging them specifically? (Make them realize you're not just carpet bombing anyone with a hole)
Why do you think you'd be a good match? (Something more than "you vagina, me dick, distance acceptable")
What do you like about their profile? (Besides the tits pics)
Just my 2cents. |
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Think most guys have this issue…and even if you get a reply the chances are they just vanish into thin air or still block you
I have tried the direct approach and also the polite approach…doesn’t seem to make any difference |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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People seem to focus on the message when the truth is, it comes down to attraction. You could send the most perfect message but if they don't find you attractive, they won't reply. The best thing you can do is only contact people who's profile actually resonates with what you and they are looking for, you meet the right people that way. |
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By *rT25Man 13 weeks ago
Rotherham |
"People seem to focus on the message when the truth is, it comes down to attraction. You could send the most perfect message but if they don't find you attractive, they won't reply. The best thing you can do is only contact people who's profile actually resonates with what you and they are looking for, you meet the right people that way. "
In agreement with this. Although sometimes I do look at some profiles and wonder how on earth anyone found them attractive.
But hey each to their own |
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It's not just about the message or attraction. It's about perceived, connection, chemistry, dynamic, matching activities / kinks, preferences, distance, etc, etc. You're in the majority looking for the minority. |
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By (user no longer on site) 13 weeks ago
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The worst ones are when you get a reply along the lines of “well hello you, you’re hot” etc
Then you try to engage in conversation and they read it & don’t reply again 😂🤷🏻♂️ |
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When I get a message I go straight to their profile and look, their profile not the message determines if I reply or not.
I wouldn't to you for several reasons.
You haven't asked for profile advice so I won't give it.
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All good wisdom in the above postings. I find that I don't see this site as the influencer on my happiness or the true arbiter on what I'm doing with my life. It's a bit of fun and, sure, it would be nice to have more conversations, connections and meets, but my world isn't ending tomorrow because it's not happening. And I have had some fab conversations and connections through this site. If you are really interested in meeting people in this sort of lifestyle context, then the best thing to do is visit clubs. [As a single guy, that raises whole other conversation but you can follow that in the numerous other threads on it, if you want ] Clubs offer the chance to sit and chat with people and I have found that this is a far more productive way of making those connections that are likely to lead to more. Plus they are fun! |
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By *arb45Man 13 weeks ago
Derby |
"When I get a message I go straight to their profile and look, their profile not the message determines if I reply or not.
I wouldn't to you for several reasons.
You haven't asked for profile advice so I won't give it.
"
You look absolutely stunning by the way x |
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By *.T.Man 13 weeks ago
the Dromara hills |
Start off with the assumption that you are unlikely to be what people are looking for and a meet will never happen.
I'm no expert but I would imagine that the assumption is if you send a message, you are looking for a fuck, and a lot of people don't have the time and energy to play the long game so make instant judgement.
The few meets I have had recently was based on morbid curiosity of the lady in question, as a result of a speculative message. It can happen. Just forget about trying to get a meet and just think about extending your network of friends.
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"When I get a message I go straight to their profile and look, their profile not the message determines if I reply or not.
I wouldn't to you for several reasons.
You haven't asked for profile advice so I won't give it.
You look absolutely stunning by the way x"
Thank you 🙃 |
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I read your profile, more than once and still couldn't make my mind up.
Its like a cross between a regular dating site profile and a swinging site profile; its got elements of both without one being prominent.
So rather than what I think you may have been hoping for (appealing to many) it may well appeal to no one as it has elements they wouldn't be interested in.
But i’d agree the “nice day” type message is ripe to be ignored. Its too bland. |
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"People seem to focus on the message when the truth is, it comes down to attraction. You could send the most perfect message but if they don't find you attractive, they won't reply. The best thing you can do is only contact people who's profile actually resonates with what you and they are looking for, you meet the right people that way. "
Exactly this. If we're going to message someone :
A, We look at their profile.
B, Are they looking for the same as us?
C, are we a match on looks/appearance?
If all that matches, we'll most probably message. If not, we scroll on. And it's exactly the same when we receive a message. |
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Main thing is don’t let it affect your self esteem. You can still be desirable and get no interest on here. There’s lots of competition, a lot of swingers are not always looking for single guys and it’s not always easy for peoples true personality and strengths to shine through a profile.
I had a couples profile on here a couple of years ago, and whilst we had loads of interest and conversations we never met anyone off here. It’s not as simple as you think getting 4 people to agree to meet for sex. So don’t feel bad! Get yourself to a club or a social event and you’ll have better luck |
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"Main thing is don’t let it affect your self esteem. You can still be desirable and get no interest on here. There’s lots of competition, a lot of swingers are not always looking for single guys and it’s not always easy for peoples true personality and strengths to shine through a profile.
I had a couples profile on here a couple of years ago, and whilst we had loads of interest and conversations we never met anyone off here. It’s not as simple as you think getting 4 people to agree to meet for sex. So don’t feel bad! Get yourself to a club or a social event and you’ll have better luck "
Wise words there |
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"People seem to focus on the message when the truth is, it comes down to attraction. You could send the most perfect message but if they don't find you attractive, they won't reply. The best thing you can do is only contact people who's profile actually resonates with what you and they are looking for, you meet the right people that way. "
This! I think it helps once you’ve had a few meets and get verified. Some people don’t want to engage. Maybe they don’t find you attractive or interesting.
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