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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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"For those of you in long term relationships, how do you keep the flame alight between you and your partner. Have any of you ever lost interest and gone though the motions, if so how have you managed to get out of it. "
Goals! Have goals!
What worked for me in the past is to have some goal, or objective, to both work towards to.
These can be short, mid or long term, in fact I found it quite healthy to have a mix of all three. These goals can be anything, buying a new car, a holiday, moving cities, retiring young, having a threesome, trying a new restaurant, going away for a weekend, buying a larger house, having a child, getting a pet, both getting a diving instructor licence, starting/joining a D&D group, whatever.
These must be shared goals, on top of whichever individual ones you also will be working towards.
Also, I would say, communication. Bring this same subject up, what's going on with you two? What is she finding meh? What are you finding meh? What are you/is she missing from the relationship? Talk guys, talk to each other. It can suck a lot, and it's effort to even bring up certain topics, especially after a long day at work or when things are already meh, but it's really the key (of my three major relationship, I can -in hindsight- say that all three failed because of the lack of communication). |