so sure a meet was going to be great, but the reality of it was nothing like you expected? I've had it once or twice where I've had great banter with someone here, lots of laughs and flirts, but then when I met them in person they were completely different, personality-wise, to the person I thought I was meeting.
It's hard to explain, but it was such a turn off, and I don't think it was anyone's fault, I think it's more to do with how tone can come across totally differently when something is said in person, compared to how it seems in written messages.
Luckily this has been a rare occurrence, but I find it interesting, and it has made me more keen for socials before nakedness these days. |
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"so sure a meet was going to be great, but the reality of it was nothing like you expected? I've had it once or twice where I've had great banter with someone here, lots of laughs and flirts, but then when I met them in person they were completely different, personality-wise, to the person I thought I was meeting.
It's hard to explain, but it was such a turn off, and I don't think it was anyone's fault, I think it's more to do with how tone can come across totally differently when something is said in person, compared to how it seems in written messages.
Luckily this has been a rare occurrence, but I find it interesting, and it has made me more keen for socials before nakedness these days."
Totally agree 
Few years ago was having great text messages with a guy, so we met & each time he had very little to say which was a big disappointment..
I can text the text, & talk the talk..  |
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By *nFluxMan 17 weeks ago
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I've experienced this a couple of times. My thinking is that it's just a hazard of the territory.
Chemistry is such a huge part of attraction and whilst it can be hinted at or seem to be there via written messages or in the virtual, it's simply impossible to guage fully or really accurately until you're in the real with another.
I guess if someone is just collecting notches for the bedpost then it's of less significance. Or is it?
Anyway, I'm looking for one woman long-term so the idea of not ensuring in-person chemistry first is completely unfeasible.
And I have met socially on two occasions in the past where we've both pretty much agreed that it isn't going to happen. That's disappointing in one sense of course but I've enjoyed their company and was glad I met them. |
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I can talk to talk its text banter i struggle with. Im a product of my time. I vaguely remember a time before the internet and have grown up with having to physical interact with others. I prefer to speak face to face with a lady and build a real connection but im a dinosaur and that doesnt seem to be what people want these days. Hiding behind the keyboard is easier and safer. |
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"I can talk to talk its text banter i struggle with. Im a product of my time. I vaguely remember a time before the internet and have grown up with having to physical interact with others. I prefer to speak face to face with a lady and build a real connection but im a dinosaur and that doesnt seem to be what people want these days. Hiding behind the keyboard is easier and safer. "
I understand what you mean..
But text for me is an extension of my vocabulary..
Can talk the hind leg off a donkey 🫏 text or talking wise. |
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"I can talk to talk its text banter i struggle with. Im a product of my time. I vaguely remember a time before the internet and have grown up with having to physical interact with others. I prefer to speak face to face with a lady and build a real connection but im a dinosaur and that doesnt seem to be what people want these days. Hiding behind the keyboard is easier and safer. "
I think most people here want to meet. I think the hard part (as a man) is getting on their radar and into a conversation online when you don't have much of a starting point other than what they've written about themselves. |
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"I can talk to talk its text banter i struggle with. Im a product of my time. I vaguely remember a time before the internet and have grown up with having to physical interact with others. I prefer to speak face to face with a lady and build a real connection but im a dinosaur and that doesnt seem to be what people want these days. Hiding behind the keyboard is easier and safer.
I understand what you mean..
But text for me is an extension of my vocabulary..
Can talk the hind leg off a donkey 🫏 text or talking wise."
My wife is the same. She looked after our couples profile and still does but since ventiring out solo she has her own profile. She holds multiple convetsation threads that are 100 or so messages long. Banter is second nature to her. Its how she filters out the fakers and chooses who she plays with. Its amazing to see but not a skill i acquired unfortunately. My success rate at finding people to meet ( where i feel comfortable ) is woefully low.   |
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By (user no longer on site) 17 weeks ago
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I had a similar experience, last year, in a different community.
Talked with this girl, lives a bit far and can't drive so a quick social wasn't easily arranged. We really clicked personality wise, texted a lot, moved on to videocalls (something I usually loathe, but she made me feel comfortable and I enjoyed those calls with her), then sexted and had a number of cam sessions.
Some of the best not-in-person orgasms I recall are from those cam sessions with her. Insane chemistry.
After a few months of this, we finally managed to meet for lunch and an afternoon. And, nothing. Nothing at all. We spent a lovely afternoon, yeah, chatted of this and that, same "friendly" chemistry, but none of the sexual tension we both exsuded whilst online-only. We didn't even kiss or anything.
I felt heartbroken, not because I had feelings for her, but because of the stark difference between the virtual and the in-person chemistry.
Hence why I usually am keen to have even just a quick social early on, before my stupid brains starts building up too many hopes and expectations.
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By (user no longer on site) 17 weeks ago
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Completely agree that this is usually avoidable with an earlier dose of reality... To arrange dates on my personal profile I
limit message conversation length
and have a phone call before meeting.
Helps avoid anyone getting attached to images constructed in their heads and tests something much closer to real interaction.
Hopefully the conversation continues to be worth having regardless of how the chemsity feels in person (I can't tell from pics). And if noone has travelled it doesn't feel too disappointing if we have a cocktail or two and decide to go our seperate ways
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