I find it disconcerting if someone immediately engages in conversation of a deeper more personal nature. I need to establish what kind of person I'm dealing with when they sit next to me on the airplane and I do that by engaging in, what on the surface appears to be small talk. |
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"I find it disconcerting if someone immediately engages in conversation of a deeper more personal nature. I need to establish what kind of person I'm dealing with when they sit next to me on the airplane and I do that by engaging in, what on the surface appears to be small talk."
Hello, I'm chunky  |
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"I find it disconcerting if someone immediately engages in conversation of a deeper more personal nature. I need to establish what kind of person I'm dealing with when they sit next to me on the airplane and I do that by engaging in, what on the surface appears to be small talk.
Hello, I'm chunky "
'ello |
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"I find it disconcerting if someone immediately engages in conversation of a deeper more personal nature. I need to establish what kind of person I'm dealing with when they sit next to me on the airplane and I do that by engaging in, what on the surface appears to be small talk.
Hello, I'm chunky
'ello"
Would the lovely lady like to join me for afternoon tea? |
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Totally disagree with that as on every aspect it comes back to trust and honesty!
I can say with confidence that I thought I knew a lot of people on a different level way past “small talk” and yet I didn’t know the true them after all so should I have just ignored them all hahaha
It’s what you are going to let into your zone that makes a difference. So I guess telling you I’m adopted to 90% of the reader’s would be pretty personal and not in the small talk category haha
I think it’s in the category of miscellaneous
I draft it into jokes
Breakfast chats
Assembly was my favorite 800 knew they all had a better start than me and I now call two men “mam & Dad” nag jokes lol but you get the drift
It’s eventually down to the individual! I take you for a very private and clever individual who is constantly learning something new Microsoft10 for eg! lol
With a cuppa in your hand logged in on the work laptop that’s sat on the desk.
So some “smalll talk” is less appealing to you when you could have a 2hr Skype with your cousin in Canada.
Small talk or big chat at the end of the day = bullshit baffles brains. |
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"It's the only talk I engage in. Sex chat with people I've never had sex with is boring.
Interesting - you think there’s only sex chat or small talk?"
For many people when it comes to fab those are the only options.
Anything deeper than small talk requires trust and that takes time.
Again when it comes to fab for some people information is currency.
I've had conversations with people here that have been repeated back to me by complete strangers and on one occasion quoted word for word on a forum thread by someone I've never met or spoken to.
I find small talk to be a good filter and anyone seeking to move to a deeper more personal level within a few messages will be unsuccessful. |
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"I like small talk. I think it's the way in to deeper conversation
Completely agree, you can pickup things in the conversation. Small things can lead the way to possibilities. "
I engage in small talk a lot. At the bus stop for instance, I don't want to have an in depth discussion on my political views but I do like to be friendly. So o chat about the weather, the pot holes and do a bit of sympathetic eye rolling about the lateness of the bus. |
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There’s plenty of small talk on here. For example those who love giving single word replies to questions with no attempt to carry the conversation on.
Then messaging a few days later asking why I’ve ghosted them.
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"I like small talk. I think it's the way in to deeper conversation
Completely agree, you can pickup things in the conversation. Small things can lead the way to possibilities.
I engage in small talk a lot. At the bus stop for instance, I don't want to have an in depth discussion on my political views but I do like to be friendly. So o chat about the weather, the pot holes and do a bit of sympathetic eye rolling about the lateness of the bus. "
I do love a good chat with people. Can learn about different places and cultures by having simple conversations. Sometimes that can initiate more in depth chats if interests are piqued. It's a good way to pass time on my flights to and from work. |
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"I like small talk. I think it's the way in to deeper conversation
Completely agree, you can pickup things in the conversation. Small things can lead the way to possibilities.
I engage in small talk a lot. At the bus stop for instance, I don't want to have an in depth discussion on my political views but I do like to be friendly. So o chat about the weather, the pot holes and do a bit of sympathetic eye rolling about the lateness of the bus.
I do love a good chat with people. Can learn about different places and cultures by having simple conversations. Sometimes that can initiate more in depth chats if interests are piqued. It's a good way to pass time on my flights to and from work."
I was once unfortunate enough to become embroiled in a chat with a very elderly lady who had been having some health problems. It all went downhill when she said "then they wanted to put a tube up my bottom. I said no"  |
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"I despise small talk, there's only so many times I can say how my days been, yes I'm fine, yes my days going well, no I've no plans for the weekend....
Small talk irritates me."
I guess it all depends on the type of small talk then. |
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"
I was once unfortunate enough to become embroiled in a chat with a very elderly lady who had been having some health problems. It all went downhill when she said "then they wanted to put a tube up my bottom. I said no" "
 Can't say that I have had a conversation quite like that. Had some interesting ones but none with that type of descriptive nature. |
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"
I was once unfortunate enough to become embroiled in a chat with a very elderly lady who had been having some health problems. It all went downhill when she said "then they wanted to put a tube up my bottom. I said no"
Can't say that I have had a conversation quite like that. Had some interesting ones but none with that type of descriptive nature."
It's funny what strangers will tell you.
Bless her heart |
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"I despise small talk, there's only so many times I can say how my days been, yes I'm fine, yes my days going well, no I've no plans for the weekend....
Small talk irritates me."
I don’t mind those initial questions in the first message, but there’s been times where I’m 10 messages deep into a convo on here and I still have no idea why the person has messaged me. They’re waffling on like “what are you doing?” “What are you having for dinner?” “I’m watching tv have you seen this show?”
I feel like saying (and have said) “get to the point”. Though it’s hard to say that without sounding rude.
I find small talk a big turn off if it goes on for too long. |
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"I despise small talk, there's only so many times I can say how my days been, yes I'm fine, yes my days going well, no I've no plans for the weekend....
Small talk irritates me.
I don’t mind those initial questions in the first message, but there’s been times where I’m 10 messages deep into a convo on here and I still have no idea why the person has messaged me. They’re waffling on like “what are you doing?” “What are you having for dinner?” “I’m watching tv have you seen this show?”
I feel like saying (and have said) “get to the point”. Though it’s hard to say that without sounding rude.
I find small talk a big turn off if it goes on for too long. "
Do you find it difficult to move it on to something more meaningful to you?
We met a guy at his house once. He was quite nervous and kept talking about anything but the actual reason we were there. He even put a comedy shoe on the TV and explained in detail why it was funny. We had to start proceedings and hope he'd join in. Maybe the people who are sending ten messages about your dinner need a nudge from you |
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The content is less important than the process. I'd prefer to test the water and generally full-on sex chat is going to seem like someone's wank fodder. A meeting of minds is a dance. I don't want my toes stood on or my arse groped, when I've not got the rhythm. Light engagement can become deeper, when right |
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"I despise small talk, there's only so many times I can say how my days been, yes I'm fine, yes my days going well, no I've no plans for the weekend....
Small talk irritates me.
I don’t mind those initial questions in the first message, but there’s been times where I’m 10 messages deep into a convo on here and I still have no idea why the person has messaged me. They’re waffling on like “what are you doing?” “What are you having for dinner?” “I’m watching tv have you seen this show?”
I feel like saying (and have said) “get to the point”. Though it’s hard to say that without sounding rude.
I find small talk a big turn off if it goes on for too long.
Do you find it difficult to move it on to something more meaningful to you?
We met a guy at his house once. He was quite nervous and kept talking about anything but the actual reason we were there. He even put a comedy shoe on the TV and explained in detail why it was funny. We had to start proceedings and hope he'd join in. Maybe the people who are sending ten messages about your dinner need a nudge from you"
Good point - but yes I’ve given them a nudge. The one in particular that I was referencing completely ignored every prompt and hint and taking the convo further.
I think the reason I find it a turn off is similar to what you described - i perceive it as the other person being a little immature and unable to say anything deep, risqué, flirty or just interesting. |
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