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Single guys at a club
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For me I don't fall into the wanking dead following fems or couples about - I wait to be invited, I chat (if I'm in a rare gregarious mood) in the social areas, may go for a wander but I don't linger.
I'll admit that it may be a reason I'm often unsuccessful or more likely I'm not attractive to them (for whatever reason)
Go, talk but don't be a dick is my advice  |
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"Dress well, smell pleasant and don’t be a dick"
This! Also, interact with people using your VOICE, not your hands or your dick unless you get specifically asked for those. If you can see a couple playing, don't interrupt them asking if you could join/if she'd suck you etc. Give them a few minutes, and you might get somewhere. I think with the way I play, people assume I'm a sub and that the guy I'm with (be it my partner or my FWB) is in charge with can't be further from the truth. Sometimes I would like a guy or two to join us, but most lose interest after less than 30 seconds of watching us and run off in case they are missing some action elsewhere in the club. But if they allowed me to come down from my orgasms, and acknowledged me as a person rather than a set of holes to fuck, they may have got rewarded.
I get it's not easy for single men, as there are plenty of them and some clubs do treat them as cash cows. However, a little bit of effort might go a long way. As in the sea of towel-clad men just sitting there hoping they'd get "chosen", the one who tries to start a conversation does stand out.
Yes, I guess I could start talking to someone I am interested in myself, and I did have that conversation with my FWB after club visit last night. But I don't want other men in the club to think they have the "free go" as well just because I chose that particular guy. Also, I am terrible at reading vibe.
So men, do try and speak to women/couples in clubs, treat them as people. And we may all get better experience. |
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By *abioMan 14 weeks ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"So thought would be a good idea to set up a thread where maybe single women and couples could drop there green and red flags for single guys at a club? "
Or you actually ask single men who are club goers what mistakes they see some people making…..
You know.. the whole “walk a mile in your shoes” thing! 
And “making assumptions that other single guys can’t give you advice….. that would be a red flag! |
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Say hello to women and couples and see where the conversation leads. The Men who just walk around generally go home disappointed, the chatty ones are the more likely to have fun. We've had many Men come and talk to us at the end of the night when it's too late, if they'd chatted earlier we could have ended up in a room together. |
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I go to clubs now and again mostly for kink events and the odd swinging event. I just treat it as a social with lots of fun going on. If I meet someone it's a bonus, if not I just enjoy the moment and take everything in and enjoy having a drink and chatting and having a laugth with like minded folk. |
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I go to the club with my wife and on my own.
As a couple, we've got no interest in single guys beyond a social capacity. We are all about the ladies or couples.
Biggest pet peeve is the guys who will follow you around without saying a word all evening, follow you into designated couples areas or, the biggest sin of all (in the past) was seeing my wife,lady friend and I playing together then just randomly walk up and ask "can I join"?
It's not the "can I join" bit that cheeses us off. Its the, I've not so much as said hello to you for the last 3 hours.
When I go solo, I simply dress well, smell good, be sociable but most of all, have no expectations. I go.to see.my mates and hang out but if anything else happens...great. I don't follow people about and if I've had no clear invitations I stay out of the play areas. What I don't do is sit nursing a drink on my own and if I want to approach anyone, I do it in the social area.
I know not everyone has an outgoing personality but if ypure the type of guy who sits alone all night then expects people to let you join in come dress down time, youre going to get rebuked more often than not from what ive seen and what ive heard from other couples and ladies. If you're at a club..some sort of social interaction is going to have to happen and that means putting yourself.out there in the right way.
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Interesting thread as I was thinking of going to a club for the first time so it's good to hear opinions and advice so you don't start off with mistakes,
Mind you I would have thought that just making a conversation to start would be what people do and not make assumptions. Plus it's a great place to get verified as people can give you character reference. Correct me if I'm wrong |
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"I know not everyone has an outgoing personality but if ypure the type of guy who sits alone all night then expects people to let you join in come dress down time, youre going to get rebuked more often than not from what ive seen and what ive heard from other couples and ladies. If you're at a club..some sort of social interaction is going to have to happen and that means putting yourself.out there in the right way.
"
Very well said! Shame most people who need that advice, don't bother with the forum. |
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"Interesting thread as I was thinking of going to a club for the first time so it's good to hear opinions and advice so you don't start off with mistakes,
Mind you I would have thought that just making a conversation to start would be what people do and not make assumptions. Plus it's a great place to get verified as people can give you character reference. Correct me if I'm wrong"
Yes, that's what you'd think, that going to the club should not be much different to going to a pub or nightclub. That you'd need to put some effort in. Also, it's not really character reference but just a confirmation the person is real. |
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I forgot to add to my post, it might help single men be noticed more if they "bring something different to the party". It can be something as simple as funky underwear when everyone else is wearing a towel. Or making an effort for dress up nights. Or having "props" that might get people to approach them (floggers usually work but do know how to use them, pinwheel, spikey gloves, even just a funky walking cane). |
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"Interesting thread as I was thinking of going to a club for the first time so it's good to hear opinions and advice so you don't start off with mistakes,
Mind you I would have thought that just making a conversation to start would be what people do and not make assumptions. Plus it's a great place to get verified as people can give you character reference. Correct me if I'm wrong
Yes, that's what you'd think, that going to the club should not be much different to going to a pub or nightclub. That you'd need to put some effort in. Also, it's not really character reference but just a confirmation the person is real. "
Agree with you on that |
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"Dress well, smell pleasant and don’t be a dick
This! Also, interact with people using your VOICE, not your hands or your dick unless you get specifically asked for those. If you can see a couple playing, don't interrupt them asking if you could join/if she'd suck you etc. Give them a few minutes, and you might get somewhere. I think with the way I play, people assume I'm a sub and that the guy I'm with (be it my partner or my FWB) is in charge with can't be further from the truth. Sometimes I would like a guy or two to join us, but most lose interest after less than 30 seconds of watching us and run off in case they are missing some action elsewhere in the club. But if they allowed me to come down from my orgasms, and acknowledged me as a person rather than a set of holes to fuck, they may have got rewarded.
I get it's not easy for single men, as there are plenty of them and some clubs do treat them as cash cows. However, a little bit of effort might go a long way. As in the sea of towel-clad men just sitting there hoping they'd get "chosen", the one who tries to start a conversation does stand out.
Yes, I guess I could start talking to someone I am interested in myself, and I did have that conversation with my FWB after club visit last night. But I don't want other men in the club to think they have the "free go" as well just because I chose that particular guy. Also, I am terrible at reading vibe.
So men, do try and speak to women/couples in clubs, treat them as people. And we may all get better experience. "
Do.. do people really think because there at an adult club you can just touch people without consent?
Some creeps out there that's for sure. |
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"Dress well, smell pleasant and don’t be a dick
This! Also, interact with people using your VOICE, not your hands or your dick unless you get specifically asked for those. If you can see a couple playing, don't interrupt them asking if you could join/if she'd suck you etc. Give them a few minutes, and you might get somewhere. I think with the way I play, people assume I'm a sub and that the guy I'm with (be it my partner or my FWB) is in charge with can't be further from the truth. Sometimes I would like a guy or two to join us, but most lose interest after less than 30 seconds of watching us and run off in case they are missing some action elsewhere in the club. But if they allowed me to come down from my orgasms, and acknowledged me as a person rather than a set of holes to fuck, they may have got rewarded.
I get it's not easy for single men, as there are plenty of them and some clubs do treat them as cash cows. However, a little bit of effort might go a long way. As in the sea of towel-clad men just sitting there hoping they'd get "chosen", the one who tries to start a conversation does stand out.
Yes, I guess I could start talking to someone I am interested in myself, and I did have that conversation with my FWB after club visit last night. But I don't want other men in the club to think they have the "free go" as well just because I chose that particular guy. Also, I am terrible at reading vibe.
So men, do try and speak to women/couples in clubs, treat them as people. And we may all get better experience.
Do.. do people really think because there at an adult club you can just touch people without consent?
Some creeps out there that's for sure."
Unfortunately yes they do (not all) but it happens. Few wronguns ruin it for the half decent guys in clubs.
We don't look for single guys but we are always happy to chat (hard to find fellas than can even hold conversations) We've not had any bad interactions personally but I'm a big fella who looks grumpy most of the time so they tend to not bother with the Mrs unless she's alone for whatever reason then they scarper soon as i return  |
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For us we will be honest we don't mind single males qe in turn are there to show off and be exhibitionist so don't feel offend by the supposed "wanking crowd" also remembers every male is or will be single at one time so don't just Austrian them for that  |
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"Dress well, smell pleasant and don’t be a dick
This! Also, interact with people using your VOICE, not your hands or your dick unless you get specifically asked for those. If you can see a couple playing, don't interrupt them asking if you could join/if she'd suck you etc. Give them a few minutes, and you might get somewhere. I think with the way I play, people assume I'm a sub and that the guy I'm with (be it my partner or my FWB) is in charge with can't be further from the truth. Sometimes I would like a guy or two to join us, but most lose interest after less than 30 seconds of watching us and run off in case they are missing some action elsewhere in the club. But if they allowed me to come down from my orgasms, and acknowledged me as a person rather than a set of holes to fuck, they may have got rewarded.
I get it's not easy for single men, as there are plenty of them and some clubs do treat them as cash cows. However, a little bit of effort might go a long way. As in the sea of towel-clad men just sitting there hoping they'd get "chosen", the one who tries to start a conversation does stand out.
Yes, I guess I could start talking to someone I am interested in myself, and I did have that conversation with my FWB after club visit last night. But I don't want other men in the club to think they have the "free go" as well just because I chose that particular guy. Also, I am terrible at reading vibe.
So men, do try and speak to women/couples in clubs, treat them as people. And we may all get better experience.
Do.. do people really think because there at an adult club you can just touch people without consent?
Some creeps out there that's for sure.
Unfortunately yes they do (not all) but it happens. Few wronguns ruin it for the half decent guys in clubs.
We don't look for single guys but we are always happy to chat (hard to find fellas than can even hold conversations) We've not had any bad interactions personally but I'm a big fella who looks grumpy most of the time so they tend to not bother with the Mrs unless she's alone for whatever reason then they scarper soon as i return "
I'm just looking to see what it's like first, then I'll attempt to talk to people, "attempt".
No wonder singles get a bad rep with bad eggs like that.
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"Dress well, smell pleasant and don’t be a dick
This! Also, interact with people using your VOICE, not your hands or your dick unless you get specifically asked for those. If you can see a couple playing, don't interrupt them asking if you could join/if she'd suck you etc. Give them a few minutes, and you might get somewhere. I think with the way I play, people assume I'm a sub and that the guy I'm with (be it my partner or my FWB) is in charge with can't be further from the truth. Sometimes I would like a guy or two to join us, but most lose interest after less than 30 seconds of watching us and run off in case they are missing some action elsewhere in the club. But if they allowed me to come down from my orgasms, and acknowledged me as a person rather than a set of holes to fuck, they may have got rewarded.
I get it's not easy for single men, as there are plenty of them and some clubs do treat them as cash cows. However, a little bit of effort might go a long way. As in the sea of towel-clad men just sitting there hoping they'd get "chosen", the one who tries to start a conversation does stand out.
Yes, I guess I could start talking to someone I am interested in myself, and I did have that conversation with my FWB after club visit last night. But I don't want other men in the club to think they have the "free go" as well just because I chose that particular guy. Also, I am terrible at reading vibe.
So men, do try and speak to women/couples in clubs, treat them as people. And we may all get better experience.
Do.. do people really think because there at an adult club you can just touch people without consent?
Some creeps out there that's for sure."
Yes, sadly, people (some only, most are respectful) really do think it is ok to touch. Or come so close to you "just to watch/see better" that you are almost touching. Even in orgy rooms, people should not assume it's "free for all". |
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"For us we will be honest we don't mind single males qe in turn are there to show off and be exhibitionist so don't feel offend by the supposed "wanking crowd" also remembers every male is or will be single at one time so don't just Austrian them for that "
ostracize  |
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Also I'd your a single don't be needy don't seem desperate. 1st time we meet a women she literally through herself at 3 couples 2 women and 2 males in space of 5 mins all rejecting her one after nxt causing each next person to say no as she became more erratic yeah avoid that |
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"I wonder why single men at swingers club is most famous topic in fabswingers forum?🤔"
Because maybe we are trying to educate them to stop treating swingers clubs like brothels? The "I paid my money and I demand action" kind? Then I guess everyone, including the single men, could have a much better experience. |
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By *abioMan 14 weeks ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"I wonder why single men at swingers club is most famous topic in fabswingers forum?🤔
Because maybe we are trying to educate them to stop treating swingers clubs like brothels? The "I paid my money and I demand action" kind? Then I guess everyone, including the single men, could have a much better experience. "
That is true… but also it’s a great filter, because you find out straight away just exactly who “gets it” and who doesn’t… ( my other big beef is guys who will talk one way when they think couples are about, and will speak a completely different way when they are not!)
I am a big fan of basic common sense.. for example, would you say or do something in a club straight away, that you wouldn’t in a bar/pub! It’s still about communication at the end of the day!
If you need people to tell you how to interact and basically not be a tit, then no one can’t help you!
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"I wonder why single men at swingers club is most famous topic in fabswingers forum?🤔
Because maybe we are trying to educate them to stop treating swingers clubs like brothels? The "I paid my money and I demand action" kind? Then I guess everyone, including the single men, could have a much better experience. "
And how is the education going? This is never ending cycle, since fabswingers was first created, this has been the most hot topic. Maybe fabswingers owners should have forum section for club etiquettes for all genders.
If you have to educate a grown man some common etiquettes at any function not just swingers club, then your at loss in the first instance. Useless
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"I wonder why single men at swingers club is most famous topic in fabswingers forum?🤔
Because maybe we are trying to educate them to stop treating swingers clubs like brothels? The "I paid my money and I demand action" kind? Then I guess everyone, including the single men, could have a much better experience.
And how is the education going? This is never ending cycle, since fabswingers was first created, this has been the most hot topic. Maybe fabswingers owners should have forum section for club etiquettes for all genders.
If you have to educate a grown man some common etiquettes at any function not just swingers club, then your at loss in the first instance. Useless
"
You never know, maybe I enjoy hitting my head on the brick wall over and over and over again? Or maybe I'm just incurable optimist? |
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By *ounmacCouple 14 weeks ago
Market Harborough |
We have only been to a few nights all greedy girls at xtasia for us the do’s are…
Come say hi
• catch us on the dance floor
•in the outside areas
•at the bar
•come say hi we won’t know your untreated if not
• drop a message prior to introduce yourself but don’t come across your trying to secure a sure thing
Do nots
• try to invite your self into a private room we are going into
• follow us around staring without talking
•exclude one half in conversation
The best advice is don’t go with expectations we don’t for us it’s a social and if fun happens it happens. |
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