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do women lack confidence to first message guys?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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All I see on here is moan moan moan about the messages people get. Do women fear rejection or don't want to dent their confidence in making the first approach? After all if who is mailing you isn't who you want why not go and message the people you do like the look of rather than having to pick through only those who mail you. |
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women do message people but quite often don't need to.
I know there is an awful lot of complaining on here about mesages etc but you need to filter out the moaning threads and concentrate on the fun or informative ones. Sometimes a quick read of the moaning ones can give you a couple of pointers though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I am a bit nervous about messaging a guy first with the introductory message however I do message guys if their status interests me or I see something on their profile and have ended up meeting a guy and coming home to a nice dry bed leaving his not dry  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
some couldn't cope with the rejection, invest the time tailoring messages specific to the profile, have the imagination to not cut and paste.......
much like the opposite gender....
but the ranty forum posts would be more amusing |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
Nope. Most of the guys that Ive met with Ive messaged them first. I prefer to look for what I want rather than wait and see what Im offered.
Have to say I always find it strange when I see some women here moaning relentlessly about the dozens/hundreds of crap first messages they receive every day but, when asked, they say they wouldn't send a first message as they would be worried about getting turned down  |
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"All I see on here is moan moan moan about the messages people get. Do women fear rejection or don't want to dent their confidence in making the first approach? After all if who is mailing you isn't who you want why not go and message the people you do like the look of rather than having to pick through only those who mail you."
Exsctly my approach!! I keep seeing those posts complaining about 10000's of mails - rude, one liners etc...boring - There is a very easy answer to the problem...stop single men and couples from beeing able to contact you. Take control and be bold...its too easy to sit back and wait for the others to make the effort! Once you've opened the communication channel you can always use the block option to put a stop to it.
All the men and women that I am chatting to at the moment - I have chosen to contact them. To be fair, how many guys on here are going to reject a single bi/straight female who makes the first move if there is a potential of things going further than a social drink???? Admitedly if she is a 3 bagger (one for her, one for him and one in case one rips) would that really happen?  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Nope. Most of the guys that Ive met with Ive messaged them first. I prefer to look for what I want rather than wait and see what Im offered.
Have to say I always find it strange when I see some women here moaning relentlessly about the dozens/hundreds of crap first messages they receive every day but, when asked, they say they wouldn't send a first message as they would be worried about getting turned down "
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"I've sent the first message loads of times. More from what they have posted in the Forums, and its gone from there "
Hey now hang on a minute ladies! If any more women start sending first messages the guys will be running to the hills...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've sent the first message loads of times. More from what they have posted in the Forums, and its gone from there
Hey now hang on a minute ladies! If any more women start sending first messages the guys will be running to the hills... "
No they won't they will be flinging their cocks on the table shouting 'get a load of this ladies'  fancy a fuck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd much prefer to receive a message than a wink, although this is slightly going off topic. Makes it easier to write a reply sometimes you send a message on receipt of a wink and then get nothing back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've sent the first message loads of times. More from what they have posted in the Forums, and its gone from there
Hey now hang on a minute ladies! If any more women start sending first messages the guys will be running to the hills... "
None have upto now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have pinged the odd first message when I saw a gent that I liked.
And yes, I have had my share of rejections, such is life.
Forget and move on, as I appreciate I cannot be everyone's cup of tea!
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"All I see on here is moan moan moan about the messages people get. Do women fear rejection or don't want to dent their confidence in making the first approach? After all if who is mailing you isn't who you want why not go and message the people you do like the look of rather than having to pick through only those who mail you.
Exsctly my approach!! I keep seeing those posts complaining about 10000's of mails - rude, one liners etc...boring - There is a very easy answer to the problem...stop single men and couples from beeing able to contact you. Take control and be bold...its too easy to sit back and wait for the others to make the effort! Once you've opened the communication channel you can always use the block option to put a stop to it.
All the men and women that I am chatting to at the moment - I have chosen to contact them. To be fair, how many guys on here are going to reject a single bi/straight female who makes the first move if there is a potential of things going further than a social drink???? Admitedly if she is a 3 bagger (one for her, one for him and one in case one rips) would that really happen? "
Its nice to get a message from a sexy lady, nicer to find you have an interest in common outside fab and sex too.
Makes messages and chat so much more fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All I see on here is moan moan moan about the messages people get. Do women fear rejection or don't want to dent their confidence in making the first approach? After all if who is mailing you isn't who you want why not go and message the people you do like the look of rather than having to pick through only those who mail you."
That would be faaar too sensible for the female mind to work out!!!
Ehhhh......should I go now???   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I the male do all the messaging and most chattin as the wife is very shy and cant say what she wants on here, just gets embarrassed to talk about sex to others |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I will say the main reason why I don't message first is that MOST men's profiles are shite!
They are either a few words at most or the dreaded will fill this out later, or 'here for fun' Now why the hell would I want to contact them? I'm here for an intelligent connection as well as attraction, so if that is all you have on offer along with the usual cock pic, well, there is nothing to inspire me to message you, now is there? |
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"I will say the main reason why I don't message first is that MOST men's profiles are shite!
They are either a few words at most or the dreaded will fill this out later, or 'here for fun' Now why the hell would I want to contact them? I'm here for an intelligent connection as well as attraction, so if that is all you have on offer along with the usual cock pic, well, there is nothing to inspire me to message you, now is there? "
Mine isnt startling, and no work of art, but it is me ! |
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"I wish more women would take the initiative and message me. I'm always gleefully pleased to get a message and I always reply. On occasion with a 'yes' "
I received some lovely messages since my post and some damn sexy pics too! Thank you!!'  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I will say the main reason why I don't message first is that MOST men's profiles are shite!
They are either a few words at most or the dreaded will fill this out later, or 'here for fun' Now why the hell would I want to contact them? I'm here for an intelligent connection as well as attraction, so if that is all you have on offer along with the usual cock pic, well, there is nothing to inspire me to message you, now is there?
Mine isnt startling, and no work of art, but it is me !"
But at least you have a profile! So you are not what I was having a go at! It's the one's with 3 to 10 words 'looking for fun' and moan on the forums with a question that is longer than they could bother to type on their own profile!
I know us women can be a challenge to understand, but if you can stimulate my mind, your more than half way there |
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"I will say the main reason why I don't message first is that MOST men's profiles are shite!
They are either a few words at most or the dreaded will fill this out later, or 'here for fun' Now why the hell would I want to contact them? I'm here for an intelligent connection as well as attraction, so if that is all you have on offer along with the usual cock pic, well, there is nothing to inspire me to message you, now is there?
Mine isnt startling, and no work of art, but it is me !
But at least you have a profile! So you are not what I was having a go at! It's the one's with 3 to 10 words 'looking for fun' and moan on the forums with a question that is longer than they could bother to type on their own profile!
I know us women can be a challenge to understand, but if you can stimulate my mind, your more than half way there "
Thank you xx |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
I mail people I am interested in. But I also get quite a lot of messages a day. Most are not what I am interested in but there are plenty I am so, therefore, messaging guys is not always necessary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've only ever sent one 'first' message as I admit I have a fear of the dreaded delete button lol but saying that, luckily I already have enough 'friends' who occupy me enough to not have to go browsing.
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"All I see on here is moan moan moan about the messages people get. Do women fear rejection or don't want to dent their confidence in making the first approach? After all if who is mailing you isn't who you want why not go and message the people you do like the look of rather than having to pick through only those who mail you.
Exsctly my approach!! I keep seeing those posts complaining about 10000's of mails - rude, one liners etc...boring - There is a very easy answer to the problem...stop single men and couples from beeing able to contact you. Take control and be bold...its too easy to sit back and wait for the others to make the effort! Once you've opened the communication channel you can always use the block option to put a stop to it.
All the men and women that I am chatting to at the moment - I have chosen to contact them. To be fair, how many guys on here are going to reject a single bi/straight female who makes the first move if there is a potential of things going further than a social drink???? Admitedly if she is a 3 bagger (one for her, one for him and one in case one rips) would that really happen? "
Like your approach. I definitely find it a turn on when a woman takes the initiative and messages me. I don't see why more women don't message guys.. |
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"I've only ever sent one 'first' message as I admit I have a fear of the dreaded delete button lol but saying that, luckily I already have enough 'friends' who occupy me enough to not have to go browsing.
"
Was your fear justified? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All I see on here is moan moan moan about the messages people get. Do women fear rejection or don't want to dent their confidence in making the first approach? After all if who is mailing you isn't who you want why not go and message the people you do like the look of rather than having to pick through only those who mail you."
Nooooooooooo |
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"All I see on here is moan moan moan about the messages people get. Do women fear rejection or don't want to dent their confidence in making the first approach? After all if who is mailing you isn't who you want why not go and message the people you do like the look of rather than having to pick through only those who mail you."
They generally don't need to-buyer's market! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've only ever sent one 'first' message as I admit I have a fear of the dreaded delete button lol but saying that, luckily I already have enough 'friends' who occupy me enough to not have to go browsing.
Was your fear justified? "
Nope and so glad I took the initiative  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All I see on here is moan moan moan about the messages people get. Do women fear rejection or don't want to dent their confidence in making the first approach? After all if who is mailing you isn't who you want why not go and message the people you do like the look of rather than having to pick through only those who mail you."
I never mail anyone first, for the very reasons you have put, i see no point in me mailing someone that i have no idea if they will like me, i have very little confidance as it is and i know im not the type of women 99% of guys on here are looking for so id sooner put pics up and leave them to decide and mail me
Saying that i have never moaned about who mails me, im awear that not everyone who mails me are going to be what im looking for but there are a lot that are and i just find it works best for me to just let guys mail me and me to reply to the ones im interested in
I have a few times looked at profiles and really liked them and even got to the point i have written a message out but something inside me ever quite gets to hitting the send button so i just delete and don't bother, i just see so many young, slim, good looking women on here that i know deep down they wouldn't be interested in me as i feel the type of guys i am attracted to and the ones i want to mail are way out of my league
I know that sounds a little sad when it put like that im actually not a saddo walking round all doom and gloom lol im quite a out going person im just realistic to the fact guys that i like wouldnt like me
So i just leave guys to mail me |
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