FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > The swinging scene in general over the years
The swinging scene in general over the years
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Now I’ve not posted in the forums for many many years but I thought I’d bring up something controversial and see what the type of replies I get, I’m judging from what I’ve noticed about the swinging scene particularly from certain sites is that the comments will be mostly one sided in critiquing myself for the post but here goes anyways :
I joined this site after it first started and probably a year or so after the sister site dogging.co.uk first started which has sadly been taken down a few years ago, now I’m in my 50s and I have had 2 single guy profiles for about 10 years and inbetween I had a couple profile for about 7 years, now when the site and other similar sites first started it was amazing with similar people of all ages , shape ,size and colour meeting regularly after chatting for a while, this was great for so many years and the meets I’ve had have many good an a few bad points but that’s life, the controversial Side I want to bring up is I would say over the past several years I have seen a huge decline in friends and certain age groups leaving the sites due what I see as a form social difference I’ve never really seen on sites in ever, this being the more choosy or clicky for want of a word side where people of certain sizes and looks an age or race have felt really awkward being here what with so many comments about preferences being thrown around none stop ie- fit or gym fit only, dick sizes ageist or not pretty enough, etc etc etc , no I fully get it’s a personal preference and that isn’t what I’m trying to say, what I am trying to say is for many years there want really so much of picky or choosy attitude as there seems to be of late, you chatted to a couple or single guy/girl and things whent from there, now it seems a face and or body pic with penis size is asked for before any conversation starts ? , I understand over time society changes but for me variety is a spice of life, I’ve had fun with many different shape and size females and treat them all the same not taking age or size into consideration at all, now I’m not trying to cause any arguments I just thought I’d throw this out there and see what the general consensus is on this
I look forward to your many views on this subject xx |
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Yeah same here, many friends have left but for different reasons , and yes I’m getting the age where I’m constantly over looked being 57 so I I’ve been thinking the time has come to possibly hang up my swinging boots and swap them for slippers an coco lol |
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If your age is correct OP then I think what you're finding is just natural. As we get older less and less of our contemporaries stick around and the younger generation coming through don't all want to play with geriatrics. It just seems less and less people are shagging when they still are, just not with you/us. |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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I get this, I’m in a very similar situation
Joined 17 years ago
Totally accepted that I’m way less ‘eligible’ now, older,balder ect
And probably less tolerant of some of the BS we have to endure.
But yes, overall the quality of personalities has declined and I’m not talking about the cliche of ‘oh you’re a time eater’ blah blah blah, but general attitude of people is awful.
I feel for the decent ones on here.
It’s a shame
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Fab is a fluid entity, people come and go. Real life tends to have a lot to do with people leaving, changes in circumstances, not finding what you've been looking for or actually finding what you have been looking for. People change, too, evolve, their needs, wants and preferences change and nothing can be done about it.
COVID also changed the way people socialise and their online behaviours. |
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Well said everyone so far, personally I love a good flirty chat and if a; goes well then a meet but I don’t judge on age or shape etc but that’s me, personality and manners ,politeness is old school I understand but it’s what comes with us all getting much older I guess ???? |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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I've always assumed bigger people had more options on here being as they seem to make up the majority and any topic relating to BBW etc. is always a love in.
Similar discussions about thin/gym fit never seem popular. |
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Also, men in their late fifties and older need to be realistic with regards to their expectations.
None of us have the looks or physiques we had 5, 10 and definitely not 15 years ago. Some of us age like fine wine, most like sour milk. Sometimes the milk thinks it's the wine. |
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"Now I’ve not posted in the forums for many many years but I thought I’d bring up something controversial and see what the type of replies I get, I’m judging from what I’ve noticed about the swinging scene particularly from certain sites is that the comments will be mostly one sided in critiquing myself for the post but here goes anyways :
I joined this site after it first started and probably a year or so after the sister site dogging.co.uk first started which has sadly been taken down a few years ago, now I’m in my 50s and I have had 2 single guy profiles for about 10 years and inbetween I had a couple profile for about 7 years, now when the site and other similar sites first started it was amazing with similar people of all ages , shape ,size and colour meeting regularly after chatting for a while, this was great for so many years and the meets I’ve had have many good an a few bad points but that’s life, the controversial Side I want to bring up is I would say over the past several years I have seen a huge decline in friends and certain age groups leaving the sites due what I see as a form social difference I’ve never really seen on sites in ever, this being the more choosy or clicky for want of a word side where people of certain sizes and looks an age or race have felt really awkward being here what with so many comments about preferences being thrown around none stop ie- fit or gym fit only, dick sizes ageist or not pretty enough, etc etc etc , no I fully get it’s a personal preference and that isn’t what I’m trying to say, what I am trying to say is for many years there want really so much of picky or choosy attitude as there seems to be of late, you chatted to a couple or single guy/girl and things whent from there, now it seems a face and or body pic with penis size is asked for before any conversation starts ? , I understand over time society changes but for me variety is a spice of life, I’ve had fun with many different shape and size females and treat them all the same not taking age or size into consideration at all, now I’m not trying to cause any arguments I just thought I’d throw this out there and see what the general consensus is on this
I look forward to your many views on this subject xx"
I'm a little confused, are you saying people would sleep with anyone just because they were a swinger and not because they found them attractive? and you wish us to go back to those days? |
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It’s fair to say that society has changed. Not only have attitudes toward casual sex become more liberal but the options on where to find it have increased as the use of social media has accelerated.
Fab is just one of those options and for many single people it is just another hook up site, rather than a swinging site. When the site first came about it is likely that it had a larger proportion of swingers in the true sense, but that is just my perspective. |
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Since when does attractiveness dominate a swingers decision to have sex is what I’m saying , the stereo type I seem to come across is either too old, too fat, not big enough, too ugly the list goes on and on, true swingers when this site started had a laugh the generalisation of sex was purely for sex and meeting new people with new experiences and was dominated with looks or shape ,size or age etc , as I said this wasn’t to create hatred or arguments just to get other peoples thoughts on the ever changing lifestyle of todays swingers compared to those of times gone by that’s all |
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By (user no longer on site) 26 weeks ago
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"Since when does attractiveness dominate a swingers decision to have sex is what I’m saying , the stereo type I seem to come across is either too old, too fat, not big enough, too ugly the list goes on and on, true swingers when this site started had a laugh the generalisation of sex was purely for sex and meeting new people with new experiences and was dominated with looks or shape ,size or age etc , as I said this wasn’t to create hatred or arguments just to get other peoples thoughts on the ever changing lifestyle of todays swingers compared to those of times gone by that’s all "
The old days sound grim    |
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"Since when does attractiveness dominate a swingers decision to have sex is what I’m saying , the stereo type I seem to come across is either too old, too fat, not big enough, too ugly the list goes on and on, true swingers when this site started had a laugh the generalisation of sex was purely for sex and meeting new people with new experiences and was dominated with looks or shape ,size or age etc , as I said this wasn’t to create hatred or arguments just to get other peoples thoughts on the ever changing lifestyle of todays swingers compared to those of times gone by that’s all "
I've been here 8 years and don't find it any different than when I first joined.
I'm not here to have sex just for the sake of it and I've always been very selective in who I have sex with.
I was 52 when I signed up and I've never once had a conversation about my age.
I don't judge by body shape but I certainly do judge by age because I have daughters in their 30s and for me there is nothing even slightly enticing about having sex with someone their age hence why my age filters are set where they are.
I have always had choices on fab and that's not a humble brag at all.
Those choices involved saying yes or no and I can honestly say I have said no to the vast majority of offers I have received.
I have had sex with less than 10 percent of all the people I have met in my time here and every one of those was my choice.
I have met people who are physically very attractive but who have an extremely ugly attitude and as such I will never get naked with them.
If I thought for a second that there was an expectation to have sex with people I might get on really well with but am not sexually attracted to, I would delete my account immediately. |
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By *oxy jWoman 26 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
been on this scene 30 +++ years we were young and introduces to dogging first then a few weeks later swinging nearly everyone back then were in their 50s or older ... we had it good because we learnt everything from these great couples and i can say that no woman or couples that i know of back then went with ''anyone'' it just did not happen sexual attraction had to be there and you say no one cared about age hight cock size nope again totally wrong they very much did....
back then men were the few even out dogging there were more couples than there were men back then it was the invite of if they open the window they were interested if not then not so they very much still had preference just they were not having to write it down also back then people were more open in saying no or not interested today some feel they cant even say that ..
by the time fab came around there had been several web sites and chat groups the big site before fab was a very busy site that slowly got worse because it got flooded with men not men looking to swing but men looking to /or thinking its free sex that site tried to monetize that flood of men and killed it ...
fab has alway had a huge influx of men that just grew and grew couples and women were still having preference still wanting what they wanted in fact i think they were more open back then about what they wanted or didnt want ... the reason men are suffering is nothing to do with preference or sexual ttraction it has more to do with more and more being told no thanks as the amount of men grew more and more ...
covid caused more couples and women to leave this scene covid caused a massive influx of men that in return increased the abuse / childish nature / porn obsessed crowd ... ive had more friends leave the scene because of men more than anything else and more this year 2024 than any other year i can remember ...
thankfully for couples at least the private scene is growing again where only those who know each other knows and invites only most are no single men at all (not for me as i like the guys)
the only thing that has changes on this scene is there are alot more men and when i say alot its massive add in all those fake profiles run by men then all those profiles of people who no longer meet online or indeed at all and use the site as a keep in touch /social media then the billion men are left with very few percentage wise ... no thank is whats changed there are a lot more no thanks and it seems alot of guys cant accept that ...
guys need now more than ever to put in more effort and thats of no fault of anyone ... and get very little or no reward..
also the swinging scene is not ''fab'' just like its not ''clubs'' both small parts of the scene as a whole however must correct myself a little fab is by far the best online site...
people just need to accept the facts for guys its hard not all some will have zero problems but it really is a scene where for guys their is ''not'' someone for everyone yes blunt but true the simple maths will tell you that ... thats not being negative thats being realistic ..
im only here for guys my rule are the same now as when i started no sexual attraction then im not meeting you and thats just the first step as then theres the messaging and talking thats where most goes tits up ... i only meet guys on fab couples and women for me/us there are better ways to find them ... do i feel sorry for guys yes i do because its not your fault there are so few to meet with you but then on the other hand i dont because alot of you very much so make your own bed |
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"Since when does attractiveness dominate a swingers decision to have sex is what I’m saying , the stereo type I seem to come across is either too old, too fat, not big enough, too ugly the list goes on and on, true swingers when this site started had a laugh the generalisation of sex was purely for sex and meeting new people with new experiences and was dominated with looks or shape ,size or age etc , as I said this wasn’t to create hatred or arguments just to get other peoples thoughts on the ever changing lifestyle of todays swingers compared to those of times gone by that’s all "
There are still thousands of people around who will to put it bluntly fuck anyone, Back when the site started there wasn't as many people so maybe peoples personal standards were lower then they would normally be,
Me personally and the view of thousands of others is there has to be a physical attraction before they will sleep with them, I'm not apologising for my personal preference in who I will fuck, I don't care if other people call it being shallow  |
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"Since when does attractiveness dominate a swingers decision to have sex is what I’m saying , the stereo type I seem to come across is either too old, too fat, not big enough, too ugly the list goes on and on, true swingers when this site started had a laugh the generalisation of sex was purely for sex and meeting new people with new experiences and was dominated with looks or shape ,size or age etc , as I said this wasn’t to create hatred or arguments just to get other peoples thoughts on the ever changing lifestyle of todays swingers compared to those of times gone by that’s all
The old days sound grim "
Agree, I'd rather not bother than just have sex with people I don't fancy because I'm a swinger and it's expected.
We all have our own ideas of what's attractive to us and people are here to enhance their own sex lives.
We can't all be attractive to everyone on the site. I'll be too old for some, too large for others & that's absolutely cool, because I'm not gonna fancy every man who contacts me either,i wouldn't want to meet someone far too young, just as I'd wouldn't want to meet someone way older either.
I think many too caught up on who doesn't want to meet them, rather than concentrating on the ones who do. |
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By *abioMan 26 weeks ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Now I’ve not posted in the forums for many many years but I thought I’d bring up something controversial and see what the type of replies I get, I’m judging from what I’ve noticed about the swinging scene particularly from certain sites is that the comments will be mostly one sided in critiquing myself for the post but here goes anyways :
I joined this site after it first started and probably a year or so after the sister site dogging.co.uk first started which has sadly been taken down a few years ago, now I’m in my 50s and I have had 2 single guy profiles for about 10 years and inbetween I had a couple profile for about 7 years, now when the site and other similar sites first started it was amazing with similar people of all ages , shape ,size and colour meeting regularly after chatting for a while, this was great for so many years and the meets I’ve had have many good an a few bad points but that’s life, the controversial Side I want to bring up is I would say over the past several years I have seen a huge decline in friends and certain age groups leaving the sites due what I see as a form social difference I’ve never really seen on sites in ever, this being the more choosy or clicky for want of a word side where people of certain sizes and looks an age or race have felt really awkward being here what with so many comments about preferences being thrown around none stop ie- fit or gym fit only, dick sizes ageist or not pretty enough, etc etc etc , no I fully get it’s a personal preference and that isn’t what I’m trying to say, what I am trying to say is for many years there want really so much of picky or choosy attitude as there seems to be of late, you chatted to a couple or single guy/girl and things whent from there, now it seems a face and or body pic with penis size is asked for before any conversation starts ? , I understand over time society changes but for me variety is a spice of life, I’ve had fun with many different shape and size females and treat them all the same not taking age or size into consideration at all, now I’m not trying to cause any arguments I just thought I’d throw this out there and see what the general consensus is on this
I look forward to your many views on this subject xx"
View… hmmmmm
1) not true
2) quit moaning
3) I do see a whole of more of blaming everything else and a lot less introspection as to looking in the mirror and working out what they can do to improve their lot! |
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