FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Getting left on read!
Getting left on read!
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Evening all, just wanted to know if anyone else experiences this and if so how often ?
My boyfriend and I have messaged quite a lot of single women on here and we do get left on read a LOT! We are never forward or pushy with our messages. Not to be big headed but I do not think we are an unattractive couple at all lol!
Any advice on how to get more responses would be appreciated 
Rant over  x |
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"Evening all, just wanted to know if anyone else experiences this and if so how often ?
My boyfriend and I have messaged quite a lot of single women on here and we do get left on read a LOT! We are never forward or pushy with our messages. Not to be big headed but I do not think we are an unattractive couple at all lol!
Any advice on how to get more responses would be appreciated
Rant over x"
It’s completely normal. |
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If you've messaged 'quite a lot' of single women, what criteria are you narrowing them down by?
If I think someone is actively interested in me, I'll likely respond. If it looks like they're just spamming the same thing to every vaguely attractive viable orifice in the vicinity, it's straight in the bin. |
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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
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"Do you reply to every piece of junk mail that pops through your letterbox or every junk or otherwise unsolicited email you receive ?"
This.
Try being a man and having 97% of your messages unanswered, I’m sure you leave most of your inbox unreplied as well? |
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"Looking for sluts would put me right off, I'd probably block you if you messaged to be honest.
Sluts are fun though.
I'm not a slut."
You are on a swinging site, surely you must be 
We despair at this site sometimes.
Loving the single profile, just realised which half of the hot couple you are
 |
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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
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"Looking for sluts would put me right off, I'd probably block you if you messaged to be honest.
Agree, and the rest has a rather negative vibe, I prefer a more fun read "
I agree with that as well, profiles with loads of negative points listed just turn me straight off and I won't reply… Always makes me feel like you won’t be fun to spend time with |
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My opinion:
There are a couple of things on your profile that I think are unnecessary and could be considered perhaps slightly off-putting. First as stated above, the reference to sluts I think is unnecessary and will potentially put off anyone who doesn't like the phrase. You may consider yourselves sluts and that's fine, but I'd guess that some of your target market might even find it offensive, so they're just going to ignore you.
Secondly the phrase about being disrespected by the male counterpart I think is just unnecessary, it's like you're criticising people before you've even spoken to them. By all means state that you are only interested in females, that's fine, but the rest just comes across as unfriendly in my reading.
Finally, as others have said, it's a numbers game. The majority of people won't be a match, sad but true. |
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"Loving the single profile, just realised which half of the hot couple you are
Looked at her profile, but we have no interest as there are no pictures of the male of the couple..."
.... Looked at her single profile then.
I see plenty of her other half on the actual couples profile  |
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"Loving the single profile, just realised which half of the hot couple you are
Looked at her profile, but we have no interest as there are no pictures of the male of the couple...
.... Looked at her single profile then.
I see plenty of her other half on the actual couples profile "
And it’s said men don’t read profiles. The couples profile is literally on the second line of the bio  |
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"Loving the single profile, just realised which half of the hot couple you are
Looked at her profile, but we have no interest as there are no pictures of the male of the couple...
.... Looked at her single profile then.
I see plenty of her other half on the actual couples profile "
This |
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Generally they get so many messages per day that it is impossible to read all of them. Not sure if this is correct but I think the mail box only holds so many messages, so some are likely never even seen in the message box. |
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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
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"Looking for sluts would put me right off, I'd probably block you if you messaged to be honest."
True. "Slut" is not a very endearing term... However I think that the biggest reason you can't arrange things with a single woman is that they are simply flooded with messages, more so than couples. |
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Happens all the time wouldnt worry about too much. We have a couple of single lady freinds on here and they the amount of messages they get is ridiculous.
As others have said get rid of the 'Slut' in bio it would put be off if i was a single lady. Hope you find some fun soon.
Mrs W&W x |
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It’ll just be the fact they get so many or they’re just not interested.
Just because you deem yourself as an attractive couple doesn’t mean you’re attractive to absolutely everyone. I reckon 99/100 of my messages go unread.
You just live with it |
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We get this all the time.e and unfortunately there isn't much you can do as the recipient opens, leaves or deletes what they want too. When we actually get a response now it comes as quite a nice surprise
All the advice we could give is just keep being yourselves and in the meantime just enjoy everything else fab has to offer. |
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"I can assure you I (the woman) take a lot of time to make an effort with people based on their profiles, there is no spamming involed but thanks for your input."
Do you read their profiles thoroughly to see if they are compatible with yours? |
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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
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It’s something I often think too: why oh why do the hot in-demand women that literally everybody else on the site is messaging too not reply to my messages.
It’s a proper conundrum tbh!  |
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That’s absolutely fine we thought with it being a swinging site people wouldn’t take offence by it, we are a very open minded couple who enjoy name calling, we wouldn’t want another women in the bedroom who didn’t enjoy the same. |
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Thank you so much for everyone’s feedback, we will definitely take this on board!!
For the meantime can we ask that no other messages are posted in this forum as people are getting slightly defensive, thank you and happy fabbing! Xxx |
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"Evening all, just wanted to know if anyone else experiences this and if so how often ?
My boyfriend and I have messaged quite a lot of single women on here and we do get left on read a LOT! We are never forward or pushy with our messages. Not to be big headed but I do not think we are an unattractive couple at all lol!
Any advice on how to get more responses would be appreciated
Rant over x"
Some of The women I’ve met on here are interested in being a part of a couples fun but if their message filters let single men message, they can get overwhelmed. One woman I met would have hundreds of messages a day so I was really lucky to be able to stay in touch. I would imagine they bulk read messages and then sometimes, the ones from couples get lost amongst all the other messages they get.
Or maybe some are here to just dip their toe in the water and getting the may of the land before messaging people back. I doubt it’s personal. I may be wrong though. |
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"It’s not junk Mail though is it….."
To you, perhaps not, but to others, perhaps it is exactly that. Try to lose the attitude that everyone should like you and be gagging to meet you because it simply doesn't work that way, despite your perceptions. |
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"Evening all, just wanted to know if anyone else experiences this and if so how often ?
My boyfriend and I have messaged quite a lot of single women on here and we do get left on read a LOT! We are never forward or pushy with our messages. Not to be big headed but I do not think we are an unattractive couple at all lol!
Any advice on how to get more responses would be appreciated
Rant over x"
I find it helps to delete all messages once sent,they still arrive in their inbox but then they are forgotten about by you,till they reply and if they dont you will be none the wiser or worried about it  |
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By *elloWoman 27 weeks ago
alpha centauri |
"There’s literally nothing in my original post that suggests ‘attitude’ - I was simply asking for advice in a polite manner so stop running your mouth."
Ooo but there's a bit of an attitude in your response there though |
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"There’s literally nothing in my original post that suggests ‘attitude’ - I was simply asking for advice in a polite manner so stop running your mouth."
To me, your general demeanour, combined with your profile, suggested that you thought everyone should be falling at your feet. You asked for advice, and I gave you advice - blunt and straight to the point, now if you can't hack that, without accusing me of 'running my mouth', once more that just stinks of 'attitude' |
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"There’s literally nothing in my original post that suggests ‘attitude’ - I was simply asking for advice in a polite manner so stop running your mouth."
I will just pop a link to the forum rules on here for you, in case you missed them.
https://www.fabswingers.com/content/forum-rules
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"Loving the single profile, just realised which half of the hot couple you are
Looked at her profile, but we have no interest as there are no pictures of the male of the couple...
.... Looked at her single profile then.
I see plenty of her other half on the actual couples profile
And it’s said men don’t read profiles. The couples profile is literally on the second line of the bio "
Honestly I despair! |
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"Looking for sluts would put me right off, I'd probably block you if you messaged to be honest.
Sluts are fun though.
I'm not a slut.
You are on a swinging site, surely you must be
We despair at this site sometimes.
Loving the single profile, just realised which half of the hot couple you are
"
Thank you |
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"Loving the single profile, just realised which half of the hot couple you are
Looked at her profile, but we have no interest as there are no pictures of the male of the couple..."
Try looking at the couples profile maybe? Why would I have pics of my man on my singles profile where I meet alone?
Don't worry the no interest is both ways, save you th search |
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"Try looking at the couples profile maybe? Why would I have pics of my man on my singles profile where I meet alone?"
You're pretty famous for your position on couples profiles with no pictures of the guy, so couldn't resist the admittedly weak joke! |
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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
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"Looking for sluts would put me right off, I'd probably block you if you messaged to be honest.
Sluts are fun though.
I'm not a slut."
No sex before marriage and all that jazz eh |
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"Looking for sluts would put me right off, I'd probably block you if you messaged to be honest.
Sluts are fun though.
I'm not a slut.
No sex before marriage and all that jazz eh"
A woman can enjoy sex, even if not married, and still object to the term slut
Imagine that |
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Just coming on here again to say not once did we expect people to be ‘falling at our feet’ - that is NOT what I was implying on my original post.
I’ve had some very lovely replies with genuine advice (thank you!) and some not so lovely. Mainly from the 50+ year old Karen’s of Fab. It seems people are willing to dish out snotty comments, but god forbid I give them back I suddenly have an ‘attitude’ lol. This has actually resulted in me temporarily hiding our profile, which I did not want to do but unfortunately Fab doesn’t have the option of deleting a forum. Thank you again to everyone who has been sincere and for anyone else who doesn’t have anything nice to say, please don’t say anything.
I will not be making further comments.
Roxy x |
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By *elloWoman 27 weeks ago
alpha centauri |
"Just coming on here again to say not once did we expect people to be ‘falling at our feet’ - that is NOT what I was implying on my original post.
I’ve had some very lovely replies with genuine advice (thank you!) and some not so lovely. Mainly from the 50+ year old Karen’s of Fab. It seems people are willing to dish out snotty comments, but god forbid I give them back I suddenly have an ‘attitude’ lol. This has actually resulted in me temporarily hiding our profile, which I did not want to do but unfortunately Fab doesn’t have the option of deleting a forum. Thank you again to everyone who has been sincere and for anyone else who doesn’t have anything nice to say, please don’t say anything.
I will not be making further comments.
Roxy x"
A 'delete my forum post' option would be good on here sometimes but you could click on the 'report' option and ask the forum mods to delete it for you, I'm sure that once you explain that as you're unhappy with the advice you've received on your post asking for advice they would have deleted it for you, before you decided to come on and call the ladies 'karens' , name calling might be your thing but its not for everyone |
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By *4bimMan 27 weeks ago
Farnborough Hampshire |
I delete most messages I send.
This is because out of sight out of mind policy I use.
We all have had someone youve been talking to stop or go silent at the request of meeting, or they ask for a time/date to meet but never get back to your sent message.
So, to save your time and stop any further message I just delete it from my mailbox.
If they true and wanting to meet they will get on and arrange it, not come back weeks later. That shows a lack of desire on their part.
So. Out of sight out of mind.
You cannot miss what you never had. |
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By *essTTWoman 27 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"Just coming on here again to say not once did we expect people to be ‘falling at our feet’ - that is NOT what I was implying on my original post.
I’ve had some very lovely replies with genuine advice (thank you!) and some not so lovely. Mainly from the 50+ year old Karen’s of Fab. It seems people are willing to dish out snotty comments, but god forbid I give them back I suddenly have an ‘attitude’ lol. This has actually resulted in me temporarily hiding our profile, which I did not want to do but unfortunately Fab doesn’t have the option of deleting a forum. Thank you again to everyone who has been sincere and for anyone else who doesn’t have anything nice to say, please don’t say anything.
I will not be making further comments.
Roxy x
A 'delete my forum post' option would be good on here sometimes but you could click on the 'report' option and ask the forum mods to delete it for you, I'm sure that once you explain that as you're unhappy with the advice you've received on your post asking for advice they would have deleted it for you, before you decided to come on and call the ladies 'karens' , name calling might be your thing but its not for everyone "
Heavy on the "advice you've received on your post asking for advice" |
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By *ay40xMan 27 weeks ago
Bromley |
Happens so often on this site, I’ve been on here over 10 years and I would say 95% of the messages I send stay on read, pretty used to it now. I actually think it’s quite rude not to reply, even a thanks but no thanks is polite in my book. Rant over… happy fabbing! |
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"Happens so often on this site, I’ve been on here over 10 years and I would say 95% of the messages I send stay on read, pretty used to it now. I actually think it’s quite rude not to reply, even a thanks but no thanks is polite in my book. Rant over… happy fabbing! "
Imagine if you had 150 thanks but no thanks messages to send. |
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"Happens so often on this site, I’ve been on here over 10 years and I would say 95% of the messages I send stay on read, pretty used to it now. I actually think it’s quite rude not to reply, even a thanks but no thanks is polite in my book. Rant over… happy fabbing! "
We tried that. Unfortunately when we block single men (usually after a skinful of messages that weld my legs shut) people we have replied “no thank you” too can circumvent the filter and still be a PITA.
So our default is set to don't reply unless interested, or there is a specific reason to respond (say thank you for a nice compliment for example) |
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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
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Yes its a fact , there is far more men than women and far more couples than women , and to find someone who floats you boat and you float theirs , is hard enough and then live close enough to meet ,, and also like each other ,, the odds are against us all but it does happy ,, it's just you have to keep gently messaging build up a repor and make friends first ,, don't be in a rush and I have made a few amazing friends,, but not quickly
Thanks Mark ?? |
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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
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I'm not a pest, if I see it's been read and not got a response I'll gladly just take that as a polite not interested.
It's when you send so many messages and they don't even get opened is when it gets frustrating, if theyre opened and no response or deleted I'll just take it and move on
As I said it's very frustrating sending messages that don't get opened, I get for the couples, women they're bombarded with messages they don't see all of them, but then it's unfair and makes it harder for the genuine guys to get their messages seen lol |
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"...It's when you send so many messages and they don't even get opened is when it gets frustrating..."
Several people have told me that they look at the profile first and if it doesn't interest them then there's no point in reading the message. Seems fair to me. I can see if you get a lot of messages, why read them, then go look at the profile and discover that actually you're not interested? |
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By (user no longer on site) 27 weeks ago
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"...It's when you send so many messages and they don't even get opened is when it gets frustrating...
Several people have told me that they look at the profile first and if it doesn't interest them then there's no point in reading the message. Seems fair to me. I can see if you get a lot of messages, why read them, then go look at the profile and discover that actually you're not interested?"
Yes I completely agree, but alot of profiles have it where when they look at your profile you won't see that theyve looked, again if I see that they looked at my profile and I dont get a reply then I'll take it as a not interested |
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