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What not married/attached men?
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By *erry79 OP Man 14 weeks ago
Shipdham |
Ladys why do you choose not to meet married/attached men? Isn't that the point of swinging? partner swapping?
I'm asking for education purposes not to have an argument.
Thank you
And we will assume for this discussion that they are not cheating. |
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By *erry79 OP Man 14 weeks ago
Shipdham |
"Because that's not swinging, that's cheating.
To call it swinging shows you don't understand the lifestyle (I'm not being mean I couldn't think.of a better way to write it in English).
Sarah xx"
So explain?
Me n my wife are swinging we have a couples profile but she has also encouraged myself to have meets on my own. What part of that is cheating.
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"Ladys why do you choose not to meet married/attached men? Isn't that the point of swinging? partner swapping?
I'm asking for education purposes not to have an argument.
Thank you
And we will assume for this discussion that they are not cheating. "
Not cheating is a different dynamic but you said it yourself OP, swinging is partner swapping so partners need to be involved. |
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"Because that's not swinging, that's cheating.
To call it swinging shows you don't understand the lifestyle (I'm not being mean I couldn't think.of a better way to write it in English).
No part of that is cheating, that's actually very different. I assumed you were asking why we wouldn't meet married men who's wife's didn't know. Clearly I misunderstood, apologies for that.
We personally would have no issue meeting a married man,in the situation you described.
Sarah xx
Sarah xx
So explain?
Me n my wife are swinging we have a couples profile but she has also encouraged myself to have meets on my own. What part of that is cheating.
"
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"Ladys why do you choose not to meet married/attached men? Isn't that the point of swinging? partner swapping?
I'm asking for education purposes not to have an argument.
Thank you
And we will assume for this discussion that they are not cheating.
Not cheating is a different dynamic but you said it yourself OP, swinging is partner swapping so partners need to be involved."
That's a very well put point xx |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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"Most these married guys can't even send a pic of them with their wife
Exactly !!! and that is the problem, it's difficult to know who's wife actually "knows" and who's doesn't xx"
100% we would ask to call them both 1st |
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"Most these married guys can't even send a pic of them with their wife
Exactly !!! and that is the problem, it's difficult to know who's wife actually "knows" and who's doesn't xx 100% we would ask to call them both 1st "
That's actually a great idea. Although, alot of people seem to get very quiet on here when we ask them to have a 30 second verification video chat..... I wonder why ?? haha xx |
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"Most these married guys can't even send a pic of them with their wife
Exactly !!! and that is the problem, it's difficult to know who's wife actually "knows" and who's doesn't xx 100% we would ask to call them both 1st
That's actually a great idea. Although, alot of people seem to get very quiet on here when we ask them to have a 30 second verification video chat..... I wonder why ?? haha xx"
I would too I hate video chats, I'm most certainly not a guy though, I've checked!  |
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By *erry79 OP Man 14 weeks ago
Shipdham |
"Well that's OK but we would ask to speak to her 1st but most don't let you cause they r cheating "
My wife would happily have a conversation with a woman but there needs to be a conversation to start with.
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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"Most these married guys can't even send a pic of them with their wife
Exactly !!! and that is the problem, it's difficult to know who's wife actually "knows" and who's doesn't xx 100% we would ask to call them both 1st
That's actually a great idea. Although, alot of people seem to get very quiet on here when we ask them to have a 30 second verification video chat..... I wonder why ?? haha xx
I would too I hate video chats, I'm most certainly not a guy though, I've checked! "
lol no u look female lol |
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By *erry79 OP Man 14 weeks ago
Shipdham |
Now this will probably go under the double standard category but. What about married women who are clearly cheating. Why don't they get rejected as fast as a married man?
Again not having ago just a healthy debate. |
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"Now this will probably go under the double standard category but. What about married women who are clearly cheating. Why don't they get rejected as fast as a married man?
Again not having ago just a healthy debate. "
We would reject them. |
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"Most these married guys can't even send a pic of them with their wife
Exactly !!! and that is the problem, it's difficult to know who's wife actually "knows" and who's doesn't xx 100% we would ask to call them both 1st
That's actually a great idea. Although, alot of people seem to get very quiet on here when we ask them to have a 30 second verification video chat..... I wonder why ?? haha xx
I would too I hate video chats, I'm most certainly not a guy though, I've checked! "
But how can we be sure you're not a guy ?... video chat ?? hahaha. Your comment made us laugh, you're definitely a funny lady xx |
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There's no mention of your wife / marital status, couples profile, or that this is what you are into on your profile, but you say all of this in the forum. This would be an immediate red flag for many. |
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"Well that's OK but we would ask to speak to her 1st but most don't let you cause they r cheating
My wife would happily have a conversation with a woman but there needs to be a conversation to start with.
"
Are you struggling to get couples to respond to you on here ? is that why you are asking ? and you think that's because you are married ? - genuine question.
Or could it be the sheer volume of single guys on here that couples won't go to the effort of back and forth conversations to prove the wife really does know when instead they can just move on to the next message from a single guy ?
Again, I'm not saying it is that, just throwing it out there to debate xx |
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We have met several married guys over the years. To suggest that’s not swinging is a little odd to us. Swinging is a multitude of sexual play things involving others, their relationship status doesn’t change that one bit. A guy joining us for MFM is exactly swinging.
Our take has always been that it is not our role to manage, judge or understand other people’s relationships. We are here for some fun just as other people are.
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I personally would meet a married male alone, after a social with wife and hubby to get permission from wife.
Most single gents profile claiming they have permission from wife, is the male cheating and that isn't swinging.
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"We have met several married guys over the years. To suggest that’s not swinging is a little odd to us. Swinging is a multitude of sexual play things involving others, their relationship status doesn’t change that one bit. A guy joining us for MFM is exactly swinging.
Our take has always been that it is not our role to manage, judge or understand other people’s relationships. We are here for some fun just as other people are.
"
That's intresting, and good to have a different perspective on things, food for thought xx |
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By *essTTWoman 14 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"Ladys why do you choose not to meet married/attached men? Isn't that the point of swinging? partner swapping?
I'm asking for education purposes not to have an argument.
Thank you
And we will assume for this discussion that they are not cheating. "
You make no mention of being in a relationship on your profile but you think that's the reason women don't reply? |
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OP In your situation we've seen them state their couples profiles on their single profile (not saying you have to) but then it's a point of reference.
A lot of times you look at profiles and you have no idea they're attached until you read their forum post; my gf... my wife...
On a practical point if the guys included their partners there would be more women in the scene. Hopefully these are not the same people complaining they can't get a meet! |
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By *erry79 OP Man 14 weeks ago
Shipdham |
"There's no mention of your wife / marital status, couples profile, or that this is what you are into on your profile, but you say all of this in the forum. This would be an immediate red flag for many."
Interesting I never thought of it like that.
But would I or other like me get more of a response if we mentioned we was married in the profile to begin with? |
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By *erry79 OP Man 14 weeks ago
Shipdham |
"Well that's OK but we would ask to speak to her 1st but most don't let you cause they r cheating
My wife would happily have a conversation with a woman but there needs to be a conversation to start with.
Both yes I'm struggling not just with couples (I'm aware I'm not everyone type) but I've seen lot of profiles saying no married/attached men before I have even thought of sending a message.
Are you struggling to get couples to respond to you on here ? is that why you are asking ? and you think that's because you are married ? - genuine question.
Or could it be the sheer volume of single guys on here that couples won't go to the effort of back and forth conversations to prove the wife really does know when instead they can just move on to the next message from a single guy ?
Again, I'm not saying it is that, just throwing it out there to debate xx"
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By *erry79 OP Man 14 weeks ago
Shipdham |
"I personally would meet a married male alone, after a social with wife and hubby to get permission from wife.
Most single gents profile claiming they have permission from wife, is the male cheating and that isn't swinging.
I'd go with that if I was given the option.
"
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By *erry79 OP Man 14 weeks ago
Shipdham |
"Ladys why do you choose not to meet married/attached men? Isn't that the point of swinging? partner swapping?
I'm asking for education purposes not to have an argument.
Thank you
And we will assume for this discussion that they are not cheating.
You make no mention of being in a relationship on your profile but you think that's the reason women don't reply?"
I did but got nothing. But am update is due |
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"Now this will probably go under the double standard category but. What about married women who are clearly cheating. Why don't they get rejected as fast as a married man?
Again not having ago just a healthy debate. "
Because the men that take them don't care, any holes a goal right.
However women are a tad more selective. |
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"There's no mention of your wife / marital status, couples profile, or that this is what you are into on your profile, but you say all of this in the forum. This would be an immediate red flag for many.
Interesting I never thought of it like that.
But would I or other like me get more of a response if we mentioned we was married in the profile to begin with?"
-----------------------
If you're not getting responses now you won't get any more by mentioning you're married. |
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If the profile text seems ok (no mention of wife, can accommodate etc) but then there’s a mention of a wife in the recent verifications, for example - red flag. I would get something in your profile text pronto. |
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"Most these married guys can't even send a pic of them with their wife
Exactly !!! and that is the problem, it's difficult to know who's wife actually "knows" and who's doesn't xx 100% we would ask to call them both 1st
That's actually a great idea. Although, alot of people seem to get very quiet on here when we ask them to have a 30 second verification video chat..... I wonder why ?? haha xx
I would too I hate video chats, I'm most certainly not a guy though, I've checked!
But how can we be sure you're not a guy ?... video chat ?? hahaha. Your comment made us laugh, you're definitely a funny lady xx"
I think the boobs and lack of cock are a little bit of a giveaway.
I certainly wouldn't video call, they are so awkward.
It's pretty easy to spot a bloke pretending to be a woman/couple.
I remember on my couples profile a couple calling us fake because we wouldn't video call them ( we weren't interested anyway) but I think our verifications spoke for themselves |
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"Most these married guys can't even send a pic of them with their wife
Exactly !!! and that is the problem, it's difficult to know who's wife actually "knows" and who's doesn't xx 100% we would ask to call them both 1st
That's actually a great idea. Although, alot of people seem to get very quiet on here when we ask them to have a 30 second verification video chat..... I wonder why ?? haha xx
I would too I hate video chats, I'm most certainly not a guy though, I've checked! lol no u look female lol"
Thanks, the tit helps! |
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By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
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I've never really understood it either, in my experience,in a face to face situation e.g. a club nobody gives a stuff if you are 'cheating' whilst the same people probably take the moral high ground on here by ruling out married men etc. Which is easy done when women have so many options on here because of the numerical advantages being in minority affords them. Personally I find a cheating wife a very attractive proposition, her marital status increasing her attractiveness. |
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By *erry79 OP Man 14 weeks ago
Shipdham |
"If the profile text seems ok (no mention of wife, can accommodate etc) but then there’s a mention of a wife in the recent verifications, for example - red flag. I would get something in your profile text pronto. "
I think my profile needs a proper overhaul. And these comments are helping. |
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"I've never really understood it either, in my experience,in a face to face situation e.g. a club nobody gives a stuff if you are 'cheating' whilst the same people probably take the moral high ground on here by ruling out married men etc. Which is easy done when women have so many options on here because of the numerical advantages being in minority affords them. Personally I find a cheating wife a very attractive proposition, her marital status increasing her attractiveness. "
I’m sure for a lot of people they’re not taking the ‘moral high ground’, more it’s the reasonable wish to not open themselves up to potential drama, which in some documented cases on here has involved stalking/police etc etc. I know I’m not up for that. |
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"We have met several married guys over the years. To suggest that’s not swinging is a little odd to us. Swinging is a multitude of sexual play things involving others, their relationship status doesn’t change that one bit. A guy joining us for MFM is exactly swinging.
Our take has always been that it is not our role to manage, judge or understand other people’s relationships. We are here for some fun just as other people are.
That's intresting, and good to have a different perspective on things, food for thought xx"
Thank you.
In all honesty our best meetings have been with attached guys. For us it provides a lot more discretion and often creates a bond of trust between us. We never ask about their relationships and we never to seek to influence or interfere in them. In twenty years we have never had a problem. |
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"I guess some women just don't want to get with a guy whose partner/wife supposedly knows what he's getting up to
Whys that?
Maybe they don't like the idea of being discussed between a couple "
100% this for me.
I have ever only once met with a couple for a social with an initial idea of me going to the club with the husband, with her full support, in “hot husband” like scenario.
The feeling of being talked about on their way back home was something I would never want to experience again. |
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"I've never really understood it either, in my experience,in a face to face situation e.g. a club nobody gives a stuff if you are 'cheating' whilst the same people probably take the moral high ground on here by ruling out married men etc. Which is easy done when women have so many options on here because of the numerical advantages being in minority affords them. Personally I find a cheating wife a very attractive proposition, her marital status increasing her attractiveness. "
We have read couples on here which state “we do not meet married men”. Then when you go to their verifications some of the guys they’ve met we know are married from conversations or meetings we had with them. |
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At the end of the day, primarily we're all here to find other sexual partners - whatever way you wish to label that. It's the whole purpose of the site.
OP, I would suggest you would fare a bit better as a couples profile with your wife. There's so many single guy profiles out there trying to stand out amongst the crowd would be nigh on impossible, let alone then going through the "Mrs let's me play". If you have a couples profile and at describe your dynamic - as we have - then you may stand a bit better chance. Word of warning as we're in a similar sort of boat - a lot of couples who say they do meet men will not meet other couples separately or may just want the Mrs out the two (this is something we run into frequently).
Good luck  |
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By *oxy jWoman 14 weeks ago
somerset |
just because you swing with your wife will not give you extra points to swing alone and be successful after all alone your just another guy and they are plentyful..
i wont meet guys of swinging couples i have done and they come with baggage normally had some dreadful meets in the early days all drama some even wanting to cheat on their swinging partners ...
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By *oxy jWoman 14 weeks ago
somerset |
"Now this will probably go under the double standard category but. What about married women who are clearly cheating. Why don't they get rejected as fast as a married man?
Again not having ago just a healthy debate. "
because firstly on here there are so few of them compared to men and secondly alot of men just wont care a wet hole is a wet hole |
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By *oxy jWoman 14 weeks ago
somerset |
also op just like all the other men if no ones interested then no one interested there nothing you can do to make people like you attraction is everything hence the rejection is so high ... your some what protected as a couple its a bigger better packages as your a couple but on your own your just another guys |
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If your saying the point in swinging is to swap, who's your swap, you have no one it's just you.....your partner isn't swapping with anyone.
You are another single blokes profile among 10000's of single blokes profiles people are either into you or not it's that simple, there's no mention of a partner at all pm your profile so how would that be the thing people don't like?
Your just a single bloke. |
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"Ladys why do you choose not to meet married/attached men? Isn't that the point of swinging? partner swapping?
I'm asking for education purposes not to have an argument.
Thank you
And we will assume for this discussion that they are not cheating. "
Makes absolutely no difference to us, married or not.
Just don't slag off your wife or discredit her in any way during the meet.
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"We have met several married guys over the years. To suggest that’s not swinging is a little odd to us. Swinging is a multitude of sexual play things involving others, their relationship status doesn’t change that one bit. A guy joining us for MFM is exactly swinging.
Our take has always been that it is not our role to manage, judge or understand other people’s relationships. We are here for some fun just as other people are.
"
Yes agree as we preferred married men involved for discretion reasons and they wanted a sexy slut to have fun with |
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"We have met several married guys over the years. To suggest that’s not swinging is a little odd to us. Swinging is a multitude of sexual play things involving others, their relationship status doesn’t change that one bit. A guy joining us for MFM is exactly swinging.
Our take has always been that it is not our role to manage, judge or understand other people’s relationships. We are here for some fun just as other people are.
Yes agree as we preferred married men involved for discretion reasons and they wanted a sexy slut to have fun with "
‘sexy slut’ is that how you view women?  |
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"Ladys why do you choose not to meet married/attached men? Isn't that the point of swinging? partner swapping?
I'm asking for education purposes not to have an argument.
Thank you
And we will assume for this discussion that they are not cheating. "
Totally agree. If you bring your wife along we can swap.
If you're coming alone though, you're not really swapping... or swinging. Have you considered Tinder? |
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"Ladys why do you choose not to meet married/attached men? Isn't that the point of swinging? partner swapping?
I'm asking for education purposes not to have an argument.
Thank you
And we will assume for this discussion that they are not cheating. "
Speaking as a single, unless it's with the wife too, I wouldn't be interested in having sex with someone who is attached. Even if the wife knows and has given permission. Just like everything in life, we are entitled to preferences, and me not having sex with someone who is attached is right for me. This might be a swinging site but it doesn't mean I have to have sex with who ever approaches me. I hope that makes sense. Also agree with the comment above about the men on here who are cheating - I'm definitely not interested in any of that.  |
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One of my partners has a wife. She's not involved with us but is fully aware of and consenting to our relationship.
I do usually prefer to date fellow solo poly people because it means there's no more space to grow and potential there.
I'll fuck married couples for fun now and again though  |
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"Most these married guys can't even send a pic of them with their wife
Exactly !!! and that is the problem, it's difficult to know who's wife actually "knows" and who's doesn't xx 100% we would ask to call them both 1st
That's actually a great idea. Although, alot of people seem to get very quiet on here when we ask them to have a 30 second verification video chat..... I wonder why ?? haha xx"
I've been on the scene since 2016 I have never nor would I do a video call
That's means going off site and thats not for me
I meet for socials or they can meet me at club nights I might attend. |
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"Now this will probably go under the double standard category but. What about married women who are clearly cheating. Why don't they get rejected as fast as a married man?
Again not having ago just a healthy debate. "
Because many men don't care that they're married or think it's hot and that they're getting one over on her hubby.
Plus there's not many married ladies who start posts about not getting sex/meets. |
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"I guess some women just don't want to get with a guy whose partner/wife supposedly knows what he's getting up to
Whys that?"
I'n my very first few weeks on fab and in the scene I naively believed a married guy who had a couples profile that he had permission to play alone with others.
Turned out he didn't his wife had no idea, they had the agreement they would only play together.
Had a social and then a meet with him.
I found out while at a club they were also in attendance.
I walked up said hello, made a comment and bam I got the blame, harassment and accusations.
It was awful
So now I play with both or not at all |
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"Because that's not swinging, that's cheating.
To call it swinging shows you don't understand the lifestyle (I'm not being mean I couldn't think.of a better way to write it in English).
Sarah xx
So explain?
Me n my wife are swinging we have a couples profile but she has also encouraged myself to have meets on my own. What part of that is cheating.
"
Why don't you add your couples profile name to your singles profile, also say you can arrange a phone/video call or a social with your wife before any meet. |
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Think the issue for us isn't that your married or attached thats your buisness. If your going to cheat you will do it wether we meet you or not. Our issue is how frustrating it is trying to arrange a meet. Married or attached guys are looking for a quick jump. Most women on here enjoy a bit of flirting and being chased a little bit and most Married men just don't have the time to put in the effort.
The short answer is single guys are easier to arrange something with.
Ps we done judge anyone we all have our reasons for being here.  |
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"Because that's not swinging, that's cheating.
To call it swinging shows you don't understand the lifestyle (I'm not being mean I couldn't think.of a better way to write it in English).
Sarah xx
So explain?
Me n my wife are swinging we have a couples profile but she has also encouraged myself to have meets on my own. What part of that is cheating.
"
In that case I would expect a social with them both first to ensure she exists. |
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