FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > people who reply to a message and then immediately log off for days!
people who reply to a message and then immediately log off for days!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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is it only me who gets mighty frustrated at the following situation; you like someone, message them, they DO actually message back. then they immediately log off before you can even get a further message to them first, then they stay logged off for days or even a week???? lol. is slightly annoying but hey, nowt so queer as folk! x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haa! I get this one, people reply with a hot spicy message that has questions in it so needs a reply and then have logged off, I have never noticed for how long they log off for, as I just move to the next, but if you have been checking, sounds like you really like this profile (Person) or have some sort of obsessive crush (Playfully said)  |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"is it only me who gets mighty frustrated at the following situation; you like someone, message them, they DO actually message back. then they immediately log off before you can even get a further message to them first, then they stay logged off for days or even a week???? lol. is slightly annoying but hey, nowt so queer as folk! x "
Sorry but where does it say in fab rules that you have to log on every day? 
We often don't log on for a week at a time unless we are in the process of planning/setting up a date to meet.
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"is it only me who gets mighty frustrated at the following situation; you like someone, message them, they DO actually message back. then they immediately log off before you can even get a further message to them first, then they stay logged off for days or even a week???? lol. is slightly annoying but hey, nowt so queer as folk! x "
Queer? They must have a life! Z |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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lol! yeah, it bugs the hell out o me. Ha ha. yes i did really like (lust after) the first few it occured with so did make a note of when they had logged on again. days! a fortnight in one case?!? lol. there are tons of cock teasers on this site. but thats alright, takes all sorts.  |
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"is it only me who gets mighty frustrated at the following situation; you like someone, message them, they DO actually message back. then they immediately log off before you can even get a further message to them first, then they stay logged off for days or even a week???? lol. is slightly annoying but hey, nowt so queer as folk! x
Sorry but where does it say in fab rules that you have to log on every day?
We often don't log on for a week at a time unless we are in the process of planning/setting up a date to meet.
"
yes but in mid conversation do you?? thats what the op is saying  |
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"lol! yeah, it bugs the hell out o me. Ha ha. yes i did really like (lust after) the first few it occured with so did make a note of when they had logged on again. days! a fortnight in one case?!? lol. there are tons of cock teasers on this site. but thats alright, takes all sorts. "
why are they cock teasers? - work - holidays - illness - life in general - Z |
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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago
In a crisp poke on the A814 |
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yes but in mid conversation do you?? thats what the op is saying "
Not quite mid conversationn though is it?
OP sends message, he gets a reply (rather than ignored/deleted) Doesnt mean they interested in having a conversation!
And you all wonder why we just ignore/delete |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is it only me who gets mighty frustrated at the following situation; you like someone, message them, they DO actually message back. then they immediately log off before you can even get a further message to them first, then they stay logged off for days or even a week???? lol. is slightly annoying but hey, nowt so queer as folk! x
Sorry but where does it say in fab rules that you have to log on every day?
We often don't log on for a week at a time unless we are in the process of planning/setting up a date to meet.
yes but in mid conversation do you?? thats what the op is saying "
YES lets stay on the point, surely if your about to log off a quick "I have to go now so speak again, maybe, by for now" would be in good stead....? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is it only me who gets mighty frustrated at the following situation; you like someone, message them, they DO actually message back. then they immediately log off before you can even get a further message to them first, then they stay logged off for days or even a week???? lol. is slightly annoying but hey, nowt so queer as folk! x
Queer? They must have a life! Z"
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"is it only me who gets mighty frustrated at the following situation; you like someone, message them, they DO actually message back. then they immediately log off before you can even get a further message to them first, then they stay logged off for days or even a week???? lol. is slightly annoying but hey, nowt so queer as folk! x
Sorry but where does it say in fab rules that you have to log on every day?
We often don't log on for a week at a time unless we are in the process of planning/setting up a date to meet.
yes but in mid conversation do you?? thats what the op is saying
YES lets stay on the point, surely if your about to log off a quick "I have to go now so speak again, maybe, by for now" would be in good stead....?"
why? You're not in a rrelationship with them - you've just replied to a random message! Z |
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"is it only me who gets mighty frustrated at the following situation; you like someone, message them, they DO actually message back. then they immediately log off before you can even get a further message to them first, then they stay logged off for days or even a week???? lol. is slightly annoying but hey, nowt so queer as folk! x "
Brace yourself, this may come as a shock, but people actually have lives away from Fab! I know, sounds unbelievable but I read it on the internet so it's TRUE! |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"lol! yeah, it bugs the hell out o me. Ha ha. yes i did really like (lust after) the first few it occured with so did make a note of when they had logged on again. days! a fortnight in one case?!? lol. there are tons of cock teasers on this site. but thats alright, takes all sorts. "
So if you don't immediately reply then your a cock teaser....heard it all now!
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"is it only me who gets mighty frustrated at the following situation; you like someone, message them, they DO actually message back. then they immediately log off before you can even get a further message to them first, then they stay logged off for days or even a week???? lol. is slightly annoying but hey, nowt so queer as folk! x
Sorry but where does it say in fab rules that you have to log on every day?
We often don't log on for a week at a time unless we are in the process of planning/setting up a date to meet.
yes but in mid conversation do you?? thats what the op is saying
YES lets stay on the point, surely if your about to log off a quick "I have to go now so speak again, maybe, by for now" would be in good stead....?
why? You're not in a rrelationship with them - you've just replied to a random message! Z"
manners maybe?? |
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"lol! yeah, it bugs the hell out o me. Ha ha. yes i did really like (lust after) the first few it occured with so did make a note of when they had logged on again. days! a fortnight in one case?!? lol. there are tons of cock teasers on this site. but thats alright, takes all sorts.
So if you don't immediately reply then your a cock teaser....heard it all now!
"
I love threads like this as the single men highlight why some people don't reply to them. Talk about sense of entitlement and needy...from ONE message!  |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"is it only me who gets mighty frustrated at the following situation; you like someone, message them, they DO actually message back. then they immediately log off before you can even get a further message to them first, then they stay logged off for days or even a week???? lol. is slightly annoying but hey, nowt so queer as folk! x
Sorry but where does it say in fab rules that you have to log on every day?
We often don't log on for a week at a time unless we are in the process of planning/setting up a date to meet.
yes but in mid conversation do you?? thats what the op is saying "
Wouldn't really call replying to one message, mid conversation. Would call that being polite.
If we have been sending a few messages back and forth in a short space of time then that's different. Would usually put that we were logging off. |
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"Think you need to read OP post again....
It wasnt a conversation!!!
The other person simply replied to the OP's first message!!
That does not instigate a full blown conversation "
Agree! One reply doesn't mean anything, much less that anyone should have to inform anyone of their intention to log off. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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well, thank you yam and xandxtra for understanding the point. yes, of course life in general happens and there are lots of genuine reasons for it happening, but as pointed out, plain manners and courtesy are being lost as further and further generations of cyberpeople (no dr. who witticisms please) are being created. rudeness and lack of social skills are the norm for some people who have forgotten, or havent even really known, what politely conversin wit a human is about.hangon,jus puttin my kevlar on. |
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"well, thank you yam and xandxtra for understanding the point. yes, of course life in general happens and there are lots of genuine reasons for it happening, but as pointed out, plain manners and courtesy are being lost as further and further generations of cyberpeople (no dr. who witticisms please) are being created. rudeness and lack of social skills are the norm for some people who have forgotten, or havent even really known, what politely conversin wit a human is about.hangon,jus puttin my kevlar on. "
I've tried being polite and its been met with a load of abuse. This has happend several times and I know its happend to a lot of other women as well.
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"manners maybe?? "
why does it feel like sometimes you can't do right for doing wrong...
they don't write back... complaint...
they do write back.. but take time between messages... complaint...
heck... its called the real world out there FGS......
can't people just be happy.. and if it goes too slow for you.. move on!!! simple as!!! |
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"Put it this way.....
IF she was interested, she would have came back on to chat to you....
"
and if she wasn't interested her reply message could have been no thanku, end of conversation |
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"well, thank you yam and xandxtra for understanding the point. yes, of course life in general happens and there are lots of genuine reasons for it happening, but as pointed out, plain manners and courtesy are being lost as further and further generations of cyberpeople (no dr. who witticisms please) are being created. rudeness and lack of social skills are the norm for some people who have forgotten, or havent even really known, what politely conversin wit a human is about.hangon,jus puttin my kevlar on. I've tried being polite and its been met with a load of abuse. This has happend several times and I know its happend to a lot of other women as well. "
ive heard this too and i agree its unacceptable and also understand why the ladies dont answer for this reason i can see both sides  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"well, thank you yam and xandxtra for understanding the point. yes, of course life in general happens and there are lots of genuine reasons for it happening, but as pointed out, plain manners and courtesy are being lost as further and further generations of cyberpeople (no dr. who witticisms please) are being created. rudeness and lack of social skills are the norm for some people who have forgotten, or havent even really known, what politely conversin wit a human is about.hangon,jus puttin my kevlar on. "
So if you send me a message for example "hi how are you?",
I reply "fine thanks & you?"
Then the doorbell goes and I log off to deal with something, then have to go off and deal with other things and don't long on for a couple of days, I'm Rude & a cock tease?
That's what your original post insinuated, that you'd sent one message, got one reply and then the logged off for days.
I don't agree with you at all, it's not rude in my opinion. I never tell people I'm chatting to if I'm logging off as its an email based chatting not chat room based, I never check if someone is online or not when I reply to messages and have no intention to start.
I think it's rude to use a sweeping generalisation to call people cock teases because they log off after replying to a message. |
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By *yggeCouple
over a year ago
South Yorkshire |
"manners maybe??
why does it feel like sometimes you can't do right for doing wrong...
they don't write back... complaint...
they do write back.. but take time between messages... complaint...
heck... its called the real world out there FGS......
can't people just be happy.. and if it goes too slow for you.. move on!!! simple as!!!"
Your posts are always the voice of reason . Love them. Unlike all the other wingers ! X |
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Maybe she had to log of quickly to see to a child, or the phone rang, or someone knocked the door or a million other reasons why age might of thought that her actual life was more important than messaging a guy that she's only exchanged one message with.
I message people and they don't reply straight away, does it matter? No. The main problem people have on here is spending far too much time worrying what others are doing. Just worry about your inbox and messages you do have than sent/dejected/ignored messages. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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well yam, i can see youre clearly a level headed, sensible man! this thread is about manners. plain and simple. the art of conversation. even if that conversation lasts 2 messages. lady says thank you but no thank you. takes 30 seconds. what would someone think if in that strange thing called real life, someone just walked off after a nice reply to something said to them. height of ignorent rudeness. i put your sensibleness yam, down to the fact your profile pic is maybe where u live. in nature.  |
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By *am123Man
over a year ago
essex chelmsford |
"well yam, i can see youre clearly a level headed, sensible man! this thread is about manners. plain and simple. the art of conversation. even if that conversation lasts 2 messages. lady says thank you but no thank you. takes 30 seconds. what would someone think if in that strange thing called real life, someone just walked off after a nice reply to something said to them. height of ignorent rudeness. i put your sensibleness yam, down to the fact your profile pic is maybe where u live. in nature. "
thanks lol, i know what your thread means, and where u were trying to go with it, but its a forum and all points are valid.
some of the above are deviating slightly away from what you are trying to say, but at the same time it is there opinion of which we are all entitled and some valid points and answers too, and they will also understand what u were getting at and going with this there an intelligent bunch just may not agree and that's life i'm afraid |
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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago
In a crisp poke on the A814 |
"Put it this way.....
IF she was interested, she would have came back on to chat to you....
and if she wasn't interested her reply message could have been no thanku, end of conversation "
We dont know what he asked her though?
If he said "Hi, how are you"?
And she replied with "No, thanx"..
Bit presumptuous of her....
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The point is messaging on here is not the same as having a face to face conversation, its a totally different thing. You send a message, if that person is online they may reply, they may read it then go off to do something a few hours later. It's a message, you're exchanging messages not having a conversation. When you email someone, do you think them rude if they aren't logged on and don't reply immediately? It's the same on here, read the site FAQs it's clearly explains that not replying to messages isn't rude, however you would think it was.
Yes Yam is speaking sense, however he is also seeing both sides of the discussion which you aren't and that's the differance. Just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't mean their point isn't valid or they are rude.
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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago
In a crisp poke on the A814 |
"well yam, i can see youre clearly a level headed, sensible man! this thread is about manners. plain and simple."
And where are your manners?
Complaining in an open forum when you clearly have no idea why she logged off! |
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By *exxxesCouple
over a year ago
Newbury / London |
I guess we could very much be guilty of this sometimes, but as pointed out, life can get in the way. We by no means log on daily and we only reply when together. We try and stay 'on-top' of things but with work and other things to do unfortunately replying 'on the button' can't always be achieved.
We too are on the receiving end at times, but we understand that folk will reply as and when they are able and want to. |
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"The point is messaging on here is not the same as having a face to face conversation, its a totally different thing. You send a message, if that person is online they may reply, they may read it then go off to do something a few hours later. It's a message, you're exchanging messages not having a conversation. When you email someone, do you think them rude if they aren't logged on and don't reply immediately? It's the same on here, read the site FAQs it's clearly explains that not replying to messages isn't rude, however you would think it was.
Yes Yam is speaking sense, however he is also seeing both sides of the discussion which you aren't and that's the differance. Just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't mean their point isn't valid or they are rude.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My PC is in a very public place in my house, and i have a very nosy 15 year old and the house is always full of teens apart from when at school.
So i can be messaging someone and half way through having to shut down with no time to explain the reason.
So guys come on there isn't always rudeness on the other side, if you are not deleted or blocked then for certain that person will get back to you when they can !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP try this. Write a mail to whoever it is saying
"Hi ??!. We spoke briefly a while back and you haven't logged on since. I know this because I checked on a regular basis.I even made notes. Since we had already exchanged mails why have you taken so long to get back online"
I wonder what kind of response you'd get? If any. But then no response would make them down as rude and ignorant. So really you've had a lucky escape.
Haven't you¿ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As the OP says, there's nowt so strange as folk. I've had abusive messages and blocks before because I've opened a message and then gone to answer the door. Apparently I should have left my elderly neighbour on the doorstep while I replied.
When I was looking for fun on here I could have had 50 or more potentially interesting guys message me while I'm logged on. I'd spend so long telling them I'm logging off that I'd be late for whatever I was going out to do.
If I was on the chat page and just upped and left while in private chat then yes that would be rude. |
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"The point is messaging on here is not the same as having a face to face conversation, its a totally different thing. You send a message, if that person is online they may reply, they may read it then go off to do something a few hours later. It's a message, you're exchanging messages not having a conversation. When you email someone, do you think them rude if they aren't logged on and don't reply immediately? It's the same on here, read the site FAQs it's clearly explains that not replying to messages isn't rude, however you would think it was.
Yes Yam is speaking sense, however he is also seeing both sides of the discussion which you aren't and that's the differance. Just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't mean their point isn't valid or they are rude.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Again it all comes down to the sense of entitlement some of the people on here think they have.
'If I message you then you should be grateful and drop everything to reply...'
'If I meet you and want sex, you should oblige whatever we previously agreed about not playing on a first meet.....'
Sorry gents but it's time you realised that pushy arrogance like this is not attractive and will not get you what you want. Women on here are not sluts or cock teasers, and won't just open our legs because you want us to! And watching someone's profile to see when they're on line is creepy and smacks of desperation!
No wonder the block button gets used so much!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow you mean the people on here have lives?? And don't live just to return an email?????
Wow I know I'm tired but I'd better sit down before I fall down |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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yes, i do see both sides of the arguement. valid points all round. the thing that just tends to irate me is when some people, not anyone on fab, i just mean people in general, have a very curt unnatural kind of anti social way of behaving on line in whatever they are doing on there with others, then convince themselves that that is the way to relate to people in real life. its lookin thru the telescope from the wrong end. its like peops who watch a reality compression soap on tv, an think life shud b same |
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When they have not logged on for a few days or a week or so it is probably because they have logged back onto their real male profile x
i have a suspicion not every female profile you see has a female behind it or one that would align with the perceived motives of the site.
it is right to suggest there is evidence of poor manners on here and it is a downward internet assisted slope , it is right to point out this is the internet and such behaviour is to be expected and ignored . I also think it is healthy to question the behaviour of the site to help understand who may be real ,Who is worth time and which profiles are fake
although people are right to suggest its internet life don't let it bother you , i feel this is often said too harshly not accepting asking questions trying to understand a mystery is rational
of course making accusations presumptions and wild statements of cock tease does discredit the cause x
don't forget you just don't know who you are talking to |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
You have no idea what caused the lady to go offline.
I was talking to someone on here one night (4 messages each way), and I took ill. I never told them I was going offline, and was offline for a few days for a hospital admission.
I came back to a very rude message from someone like you, judging me as rude and horrible for logging off and staying offline.
Just saying, you never know the reason someone might have logged off - and that we all have real lives.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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thank you taoist, your post is very interesting. i must say thats not something i factored in! in fact its a new one on me!!! lol. and i do retract the cock teaser comment in my OP. it was a bit ott. but saying that cock teasing is a phenomenon that does exist. i didnt invent it. and im sure there are one or two on fab scattered about. lol. x |
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We've had a faimly bereavement, so this has meant that Fab access has been minimised.
It also happens that friends/family drop by, so even when we think there is some time to devote to ploughing through messages, the forum etc, that it disappears. Sometimes log in from mobile, so don't have much time, or ability to view stuff correctly etc.
It's probably wrong to assume that just because one person is in a frame of mind, with the time to explain, chat etc, that others are too. It's a diverse site, and our families and jobs come first, almost invariably.
Many fab users aren't also looking for immediate play, or to complete arrangements now for a meet. It can take time, and whether it's hours or days, getting the right partners is the priority. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is it only me who gets mighty frustrated at the following situation; you like someone, message them, they DO actually message back. then they immediately log off before you can even get a further message to them first, then they stay logged off for days or even a week???? lol. is slightly annoying but hey, nowt so queer as folk! x "
Some people have a real life do you really think they should log on at your beck and call? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is it only me who gets mighty frustrated at the following situation; you like someone, message them, they DO actually message back. then they immediately log off before you can even get a further message to them first, then they stay logged off for days or even a week???? lol. is slightly annoying but hey, nowt so queer as folk! x "
Up until last week, I hadn't logged in for 3 weeks and since then a couple of times only, it's called real life and priorities
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When they have not logged on for a few days or a week or so it is probably because they have logged back onto their real male profile x
i have a suspicion not every female profile you see has a female behind it or one that would align with the perceived motives of the site.
it is right to suggest there is evidence of poor manners on here and it is a downward internet assisted slope , it is right to point out this is the internet and such behaviour is to be expected and ignored . I also think it is healthy to question the behaviour of the site to help understand who may be real ,Who is worth time and which profiles are fake
although people are right to suggest its internet life don't let it bother you , i feel this is often said too harshly not accepting asking questions trying to understand a mystery is rational
of course making accusations presumptions and wild statements of cock tease does discredit the cause x
don't forget you just don't know who you are talking to"
The cause? |
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"When they have not logged on for a few days or a week or so it is probably because they have logged back onto their real male profile you just don't know who you are talking to"
It is refreshingly comforting knowing one is not alone in their cynicism! |
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