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PE still a massive issue!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi, I posted on here about a year ago as I have been suffering with premature ejaculation since my teens. it was on a meet when I came 3 times, twice without even beimg touched, I was so embarrassed we left and I have had a huge confidence issue ever since, even with my wife.
I tried a lot of things, pills, sprays, changing my mastabation routine to retrain my mind, nothing has worked and I am scared to meet again.
I have read that a case of PE where the cause is mental can be cured by hypnotherapy, has anyone any experience in this?
I hope I can get some help soon as I am desperate now, it gets me down and.i dont have many people I can talk to about it. Thanks for listening people  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Honestly it can range.from 40 sec to 3 mins or more with the wife. The only sure thing I know helps is alcahol, and considering dont really drink alot it doesnt help really, plus very impracticle. Not I think that was the first ever time, hit me hard though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say anxiety is your problem. You are very worried about it happening again. I would suggest that you lay off penetrative sex for a week and engage in foreplay type of sex with your partner. Long handjobs, licks and kisses. This may restore your confidence. I certainly think it will help. Best of luck |
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"Hi, I posted on here about a year ago as I have been suffering with premature ejaculation since my teens. it was on a meet when I came 3 times, twice without even beimg touched, I was so embarrassed we left and I have had a huge confidence issue ever since, even with my wife.
I tried a lot of things, pills, sprays, changing my mastabation routine to retrain my mind, nothing has worked and I am scared to meet again.
I have read that a case of PE where the cause is mental can be cured by hypnotherapy, has anyone any experience in this?
I hope I can get some help soon as I am desperate now, it gets me down and.i dont have many people I can talk to about it. Thanks for listening people "
It looks like you have tried most of the "self help" options.Think you need to pluck up some courage and see your GP to discuss the possible referral of both yourself and your wife(eventually)to a psychosexual counsellor.
The problem kind of "self feeds" and trained consellors have a variety of techniques...some of which you have mentioned...along with training in psychotherapy...hypnotherapy could be part of this but strongly suggest NHS based treatment.You may need to fuss up about the swinging that you have tried together and would suggest that this is probably put on hold until the problem is resolved.
Hope this helps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would highly recommend what '_roovytwo, says...until your confidence returns lay off the swinging scene and any type of situation that will cause you anxiety. It is not as serious an issue as your mind thinks it is. You have a partner, let her help you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Citalopram (Cipramil/Celexa) is also used, very effectively. You need to see a doctor though as it won't cure the underlying problem, which may be physical and/or mental."
i was given citalapram for depression yrs ago it really lowered my sex drive (sofia here) |
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"Citalopram (Cipramil/Celexa) is also used, very effectively. You need to see a doctor though as it won't cure the underlying problem, which may be physical and/or mental.
i was given citalapram for depression yrs ago it really lowered my sex drive (sofia here)"
I think it affects different people in different ways. It certainly didn't affect my sex drive but did cause retarded ejaculation (i.e. you can't cum, or have difficulty cumming, rather than having stupid sperm  ), which can be equally as frustrating as PE ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I go through phases, sometimes i can go for hours and cum on demand and other times it is the "2 jerks and a squirt". never ever figured out why it happens. But i do understand and it can cause problems with confidence issues. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tried citalopram ten years ago.... I found I couldnt cum for love or money. I hated it. I came off it after about 4 months and thankfully never needed it again but I still find it a bit of a struggle to cum sometimes even now which I find really frustrating although it means I can go for hours.... |
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"I tried citalopram ten years ago.... I found I couldnt cum for love or money. I hated it. I came off it after about 4 months and thankfully never needed it again but I still find it a bit of a struggle to cum sometimes even now which I find really frustrating although it means I can go for hours...."
Side effect of SSRI,s ......anorgasmia....OK for part of treatment for PE but not good when shes thinking "what shall we have for tea tomorrow" while your giving your all!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, anti-depressants (SSRIs) and anxiety meds (benzodiazepines) will slow you down. Also can try using multiple condoms as these reduce sensitivity.
Good luck, don't despair! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think your anxiety is so profound and that is why the drugs, pills, sprays have not worked. It is not as big an issue as you think it is and can be an opportunity for you to become a more efficient and altruistic partner, till the anxiety resolves itself. Work with your wife. Lay off penetrative sex for a week. Really increase the amount of foreplay. Learn massage techniques, find instructional videos that teaches how to eat and finger pussy professionally. Trust your wife to help, it is a two-way journey. Let her give you long handjobs as you enjoy pillow talk. Ask her to stop when you feel as if you are going to cum.
I would lay off the swinging scene till your anxiety is resolved, returning to find suitable and regular couples to begin with.
Your problem is not PE, it is the fear of embarrassing yourself again. Anxiety! Anxiety is the trigger. Learn to cock the trigger by becoming more confident in other aspects of sex as I have previously described. Anxiety is the problem, confidence is the answer. |
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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
Ok, I'll admit to having the same problem.
Not quite sure whether there's a physical basis for this, but anxiety certainly plays a part. "Fear of fear" is a very powerful thing. I've found the writings of Claire Weekes very good on this subject e.g. the book "Hope and Help for your Nerves". Perhaps her ideas can be applied in this setting.
SSRIs definitely help with this - I took them for 9 years. However, they are powerful, mind-changing chemicals and I, personally, loathed the many side effects e.g. zero libido, constant constipation, tinnitus. They have a profound impact on the body. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Here is a technique you and your significant other can try together. It's one that is taught by the Mayo Clinic.
The squeeze technique
Step 1. Begin sexual activity as usual, including stimulation of the penis, until you feel almost ready to ejaculate.
Step 2. Have your partner squeeze the end of your penis, at the point where the head (glans) joins the shaft, and maintain the squeeze for several seconds, until the urge to ejaculate passes.
Step 3. After the squeeze is released, wait for about 30 seconds, then go back to foreplay. You may notice that squeezing the penis causes it to become less erect, but when sexual stimulation is resumed, it soon regains full erection.
Step 4. If you again feel you're about to ejaculate, have your partner repeat the squeeze process.
By repeating this as many times as necessary, you can reach the point of entering your partner without ejaculating. After a few practice sessions, the feeling of knowing how to delay ejaculation may become a habit that no longer requires the squeeze technique.
Hope it helps.
June and Lee |
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"I think your anxiety is so profound and that is why the drugs, pills, sprays have not worked. It is not as big an issue as you think it is and can be an opportunity for you to become a more efficient and altruistic partner, till the anxiety resolves itself. Work with your wife. Lay off penetrative sex for a week. Really increase the amount of foreplay. Learn massage techniques, find instructional videos that teaches how to eat and finger pussy professionally. Trust your wife to help, it is a two-way journey. Let her give you long handjobs as you enjoy pillow talk. Ask her to stop when you feel as if you are going to cum.
I would lay off the swinging scene till your anxiety is resolved, returning to find suitable and regular couples to begin with.
Your problem is not PE, it is the fear of embarrassing yourself again. Anxiety! Anxiety is the trigger. Learn to cock the trigger by becoming more confident in other aspects of sex as I have previously described. Anxiety is the problem, confidence is the answer."
Regarding the long handjobs with your wife, I think that a Fleshlite would be beneficial. They are very life-like and you yourself have control. Expensive though! |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
Sounds a bit serious, but its only a problem if you make it one. I'd say be spontaneous.. Either with sex or the lead up to. Whether it is you having a feel when you like of the Mrs or the Mrs rubbing on you when she feels.
This could potentially break down the rush you get from either thought or touch.. A desensitisation if you like.
Besides impromptu feels I'd also digest a damn fucking good holiday... An absolute rest and a change to enjoy things.
Stay on the positive in sure you are though alternatives like a decent sexual councillor or well prescribed hypnotherapist would no doubt help.
They are avenues that are available so you should explore them. People seek surgery for meaningless cosmetic reasons so why not with actual issues.
Do try to take it it of your mind though... As this is where it lays i.e its not a problem that cab be fixed surgically..  |
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