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How to reject at a club
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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So as newbies still one of our biggest worries at a club is saying no to any advances we don't want ...for whatever reason....Im under no illusion we will also be rejected but how do you go about this without coming across rude or seeming arrogant? Do people take it personally as such and get funny about it or is this a normal part of the clubs?
Thanks all
Poppy and bobby xx |
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It’s a normal part of going to a club.
You’re not expected to play with everyone and anyone, you make your own choices.
Anyone who behaves badly upon not being chosen is not the sort of person you want to spend time with anyway.
We just let people know that we’re not a match. No further explanation necessary. |
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By *dc1Man 41 weeks ago
essex and all over the south |
Im replying as a couple, as i go to clubs with a friend. You may well get some single men keep on. If so report them to managment. We only go on couples nights. It might be best for your first visit
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"So as newbies still one of our biggest worries at a club is saying no to any advances we don't want ...for whatever reason....Im under no illusion we will also be rejected but how do you go about this without coming across rude or seeming arrogant? Do people take it personally as such and get funny about it or is this a normal part of the clubs?
Thanks all
Poppy and bobby xx"
I’ve never seen anyone get rejected at a club and take it badly without club management dealing with it PDQ.
Saying no without feeling like an arsehole can be quite difficult at times, but a “thanks but no thanks” should be all that is needed. If you want to be more specific, it might be gentler and easier on you to say “thanks but we’re not looking for that at the moment”. Make it the act that you are rejecting, not the person. |
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“Thanks for the chat it’s been great, we hope you find what you’re looking for.”
Or a “thank you but no thank you.” If they get pushy, no is a complete sentence and walk away. We use “do we need something from the bag/let the dog out etc” to let each other know that we’re not interested in the person/s.
You can also change your mind at any time. Just because you said yes/went into a room etc. doesn’t mean you have to carry on. A simple, thanks but we’ve changed our minds is perfectly fine. People are typically quite chill about it and get on with their evening just fine.
We hope you have the best time |
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Hey OP
We go to clubs quite a bit and never had to actually say to someone 'you're not for us' or 'no thanks' etc.
We just tend to say ' lovely to talk to you, hope you have a lovely evening' or ' great to chat, we're just going to go to the bar' etc etc
People are generally really good at taking the hint without the need for awkward conversations
S xxx |
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"So as newbies still one of our biggest worries at a club is saying no to any advances we don't want ...for whatever reason....Im under no illusion we will also be rejected but how do you go about this without coming across rude or seeming arrogant? Do people take it personally as such and get funny about it or is this a normal part of the clubs?
Thanks all
Poppy and bobby xx"
You can generally tell in the chat (if it gets flirty) if people are interested in playing. If you're not interested in playing when asked simply say "no we're ok thanks", that's definitely not rude or arrogant. |
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"So as newbies still one of our biggest worries at a club is saying no to any advances we don't want ...for whatever reason....Im under no illusion we will also be rejected but how do you go about this without coming across rude or seeming arrogant? Do people take it personally as such and get funny about it or is this a normal part of the clubs?
Thanks all
Poppy and bobby xx"
This is a worry of ours too, we would feel really cheeky saying no to people face to face.  |
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"
You can generally tell in the chat (if it gets flirty) if people are interested in playing. If you're not interested in playing when asked simply say "no we're ok thanks", that's definitely not rude or arrogant."
Very much this! If you're in the chat stage and you're really not feeling it and can feel them building to the 'do you wanna' question, don't be afraid to wrap things up and 'go for a look around'.
I don't think we've ever had to directly ask people if they'd like to play. Our conversations have either dead ended or they've flowed to the point where playing is an obvious next step.
We have had to turn people down tho. We try and do it as nicely but as clearly as we can so theres no confusion or false hope. 'sorry, it's a no but thank you so much' generally does it. We did have one couple get into the 'but why not?' and seemed to get a little huffy. We just said we weren't feeling the connection and made our exit  |
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By *hoirCouple 41 weeks ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"So as newbies still one of our biggest worries at a club is saying no to any advances we don't want ...for whatever reason....Im under no illusion we will also be rejected but how do you go about this without coming across rude or seeming arrogant? Do people take it personally as such and get funny about it or is this a normal part of the clubs?
Thanks all
Poppy and bobby xx"
I just say no. I don't care about being called rude though as I will escalate it from that one time if the issue is pressed.
C |
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By (user no longer on site) 41 weeks ago
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When weve been to a club ive personally rejected single males twice who asked if they could play or as one put it whilst i was busy licking the mrs "can i have a go" obviously a polite er no thanks followed. Weve not actually been approached by a couple although had many a conversation with some we all wentvour own way.
Another funny one was i went to the toilet then bar and when i returned the mrs was looking somewhat flustered apparently an elderly single gent asked if shed come to his flat in scarborough for him and his mates to fuck for the weekend.
Clubs are weird yet wonderful places. We need a couples only night in a club to try but unsure of which club. |
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Generally can tell from body language or the way the talk is going. We chat to people, but try not to end up chatting to them for absolutely ages if we have no intention of playing, so as to not block them or us from finding someone else.
We would normally make our excuses and leave after a bit.
If we are interested, we will often say we are going to have a look around and see if anything is happening, and offer them to come with. Gives them a chance to duck out, and if they make their excuses and say they will catch up later, we presume they aren't interested.
We are all grown ups though, so have to be honest with each other.
One awkward one was when we met a single we knew we were interested in, but they'd come with a FWB who we weren't. Having to indicate you were into one, not the other, was a bit awkward, but that's the way it goes sometimes |
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By *oxy jWoman 41 weeks ago
somerset |
samer as you reject anywhere else with a no thanks ... if they dont like that answer thats their problem not yours..
im alway upfront and honest otherwise your just messing around just be polite but to the point ... im always saying no thanks in clubs i have to be attracted to them and on a average club night that will be most im not interested in.. |
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A simple no thanks should get you an almost apology from a single guy.
Speaking as a single guy most times couples are happy to speak to you, but may not want to do anything else and most people will pick up on this and not even ask.
If I’m chatting to a couple in a club, it’s normally down to them to ask if I’d like to join them to give me some serious hints with body language.
But no is no |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 41 weeks ago
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Thank you everyone for that ...some good advice there ...we certainly plan to attend some clubs very soon,sounds like it's a pretty normal thing ....we just need to get in there now and mingle  xx |
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