I have a gf and she is amazing. Been together 3 months and everything is great
She recently said she likes the idea of being tied up/cuffed and that she likes being edged and "impact play" Ike spanking
I'm worried about
1) what if I spank too hard?
2) what if I spank not hard enough!
3) if she likes edging etc. how long should I do it for? Should I spank, then rub and kiss, then spank then be nice? I just have no idea |
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OK well like most things it's all about communication. If she wants to be tied up I would start gently, ie using a soft scarf. Also really important to have a safe word, you could use orange to mean I'm OK but nearing my limit, and red to mean STOP . As for spanking, again start gently, ie small slaps etc.. it's something I'd recommend researching thoroughly... and talk talk talk xx good luck xx |
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"Hi! Thanks for advice. She has done it all before she has a lot more exciting experiences than me. I just don't want it to be crap for her "
Ah ok... well then really she needs to guide you by being clear with what she likes and dislikes... of course you'll be a bit anxious if you've never done it before but lots of communication and just enjoying it will help. I would say try not to think about her previous experiences, each scenario and couple are different x |
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By *DW1983Man 38 weeks ago
Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield |
"OK well like most things it's all about communication. If she wants to be tied up I would start gently, ie using a soft scarf. Also really important to have a safe word, you could use orange to mean I'm OK but nearing my limit, and red to mean STOP . As for spanking, again start gently, ie small slaps etc.. it's something I'd recommend researching thoroughly... and talk talk talk xx good luck xx"
This. Communication. Discuss limits. Start gently and work up to spanking harder - jumping straight in with hard spanks usually just hurts, whereas warming up the area with more gentle means the sub can generally take more/harder spanking. Build up to it. And don't forget she'll need to come back down from the 'high' afterwards. Aftercare is important. Discuss what was good or not.
Also be sure to establish boundaries, such as where you can or can't spank, flog, paddle, or whatever, and the risk of marks. If for example she's going swimming the day after and wears a high-cut swimming costume, she won't want marks on her bum cheeks. If you were using a flogger on her back, but she's planning on wearing a back-less dress to a night out the day after...
I'd add 'green' as a safeword. Check in with her, don't assume she'll say 'yellow' or 'red' if she needs to. If she says green, all is well. Continue. If she says 'yellow' you know it's time to dial it back a bit, she's getting close to her limit. If she says 'red', or no positive reply, that's a 'stop'. |
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By *aizyWoman 38 weeks ago
west midlands |
"Hi! Thanks for advice. She has done it all before she has a lot more exciting experiences than me. I just don't want it to be crap for her
Ah ok... well then really she needs to guide you by being clear with what she likes and dislikes... of course you'll be a bit anxious if you've never done it before but lots of communication and just enjoying it will help. I would say try not to think about her previous experiences, each scenario and couple are different x"
This is good advice OP communication is key, and don't worry about her past experiences, enjoy each other and learn from each other its all part of the fun. |
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By *oxy jWoman 38 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
the only advice you need is from your girlfriend as no one here will have a clue what she wants from you ..its as simple as that ..
thats what makes kinks between 2 people in a relationship so good learming together  |
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