FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > married men

married men

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Ok, so we are all on here for fun and a good time. So why is it that people feel the need to lie about there status?. Surely being open and honest is the way to go? Im not going to judge someone if they say there married? But I dont like people who lie regardless if I want there willy x

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

I can spot them a mile away so they don't bother me at all so they can lie all they want.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thats a good skill, dosent botther me but why lie lol x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think its because they don't wish to advertise that they are behaving dishonestly which for many will be an unattractive quality.

And as the other contributer posted....probably easy to spot.

Although it is rather a contradiction in terms to say you're being honest about your marital status, then doing what your doing.

Though as always....its a lot more complex than first appears

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I can spot them a mile away so they don't bother me at all so they can lie all they want. "

Yeah?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just assume they are all married and go from there..

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By *he_original_poloWoman over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

If someone is happy to tell great big fat whopping lies to the person they *cough* love.... why on earth would a potential shag command any greater degree of respect from them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

people lie about all sorts of things.

maybe they think its nobody elses buisness if they are only looking for sex and not a relationship.

if they read the forums they will know how many people dont like cheaters, so you cant blame them for saying they are single.

one man i met said he was divorced

he liked to tell me about his kids.

when i looked at his profile again i noticed it said he was attached.

then a year later i heard from him again

he was living in another country and his profile said he was married.

if i was a man and thought i could have my cake and eat it too, i probably would.

if a man is a good husband in other ways then i could accept them cheating on me, what you dont know about doesnt hurt you.

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By *he_original_poloWoman over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"people lie about all sorts of things.

maybe they think its nobody elses buisness if they are only looking for sex and not a relationship.

if they read the forums they will know how many people dont like cheaters, so you cant blame them for saying they are single.

one man i met said he was divorced

he liked to tell me about his kids.

when i looked at his profile again i noticed it said he was attached.

then a year later i heard from him again

he was living in another country and his profile said he was married.

if i was a man and thought i could have my cake and eat it too, i probably would.

if a man is a good husband in other ways then i could accept them cheating on me, what you dont know about doesnt hurt you."

No... but their wife turning up with a baseball bat could.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Threads like this bring out the people who hate married men with a passion. That sort of reaction causes said married men mot to be open about the fact that they are married because they get abuse for it. Why people can't butt out Of stranger's relationships I have no idea.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Threads like this bring out the people who hate married men with a passion. That sort of reaction causes said married men mot to be open about the fact that they are married because they get abuse for it. Why people can't butt out Of stranger's relationships I have no idea. "

true, none of us is perfect.

though we like to think we are.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I personally think they should be open and honest.

I wouldn't knowingly meet a married guy, but i wouldn't jack hammer moral rights down his throat either.

What HE/SHE do in their spare time is their business not ours to judge !!

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By *he_original_poloWoman over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Because it's a subject on a forum?

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

we would much rather the married people men and women, said so on their profile it helps to know these things. Just don't start justifying or getting aggressive about it.

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By *un_JuiceCouple over a year ago

Nr Chester

"If someone is happy to tell great big fat whopping lies to the person they *cough* love.... why on earth would a potential shag command any greater degree of respect from them."

Absolutely on the nail xx

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

I personally would like they know so I can make an informed decision as to wether I want to meet them or not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I personally think they should be open and honest.

I wouldn't knowingly meet a married guy, but i wouldn't jack hammer moral rights down his throat either.

What HE/SHE do in their spare time is their business not ours to judge !!"

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

Because it's a subject on a forum?"

Discussing a subject is fine but you and I have both seen some pretty nasty comments thrown at men (rarely the women) who admit to being married on here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I personally think they should be open and honest.

I wouldn't knowingly meet a married guy, but i wouldn't jack hammer moral rights down his throat either.

What HE/SHE do in their spare time is their business not ours to judge !!"

Knowing that you wouldn't meet a married man is all the incentive one needs to now tell you he is single

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's all kind of irrelevant to us and here's why: they're never bloody available!

Except between the hours of say 11:30 and 3pm on a Thursday.

No good to man nor beast. If they wanna cheat, then it's not for us to judge em. They're not cheating on us! For the most part anyway, they seem to like the 'idea' but not the reality. That's been our experience anyway, which is all you base your opinion upon.

No snow here btw watching the weather threads. Just pissing down.

Now. Back to Mr Tumble...

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By *ander_XMan over a year ago

Greater Manchester

When I was playing without my girlfriend's knowledge the first line of my profile said that I'm attached and my girlfriend didn't know I was on here.

I used to get quite a few messages saying it was refreshingly honest and it led to meeting people who wouldn't usually meet attached men, because I was totally open about it.

My advice for attached men on here without their other half's knowledge is be open about it. It's usually going to quickly become obvious anyway and being open about it can actually make you stand out from the crowd.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I just assume they are all married and go from there.. "

A good plan to have as I once chatted to a guy with can accommodate on his profile only to find out that he was married, still living with his wife and accommodates when she is not there

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When I was playing without my girlfriend's knowledge the first line of my profile said that I'm attached and my girlfriend didn't know I was on here.

I used to get quite a few messages saying it was refreshingly honest and it led to meeting people who wouldn't usually meet attached men, because I was totally open about it.

And means that those of us who are not interested don't waste time on the profile

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By *un_JuiceCouple over a year ago

Nr Chester

Man or woman we wouldn't want any part in a potential homewrecker, live your lie elsewhere. There are those that's partners know or turn a blind eye. Still wouldn't knowingly get involved. No offence meant. Just our _iew.

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

" I used to get quite a few messages saying it was refreshingly honest and it led to meeting people who wouldn't usually meet attached men, because I was totally open about it.

. "

Yes but your pics might have just helped persuade them a bit...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

they lie and say whatever it takes to get laid.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We all agree men are lying cheating so an so s and women have been known to twist the truth a bit so why would a wife be suprised her husband was on here cheating and why cant the women who im sure are all single suprised that the guys are married aint we all on here for shag fun not relationships

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"I can spot them a mile away so they don't bother me at all so they can lie all they want.

Yeah?

Yes! Hardly need to be Miss Marple, especially the way I play. Hard to explain to a wife where your pubes have disappeared to, why you have a "property off..." temporary tattoo on your arse, wax in your chest hair etc.

They can lie to their wives all they like and think they're slick. Funny how the fess up when I say what's in store.

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By *ander_XMan over a year ago

Greater Manchester

" I used to get quite a few messages saying it was refreshingly honest and it led to meeting people who wouldn't usually meet attached men, because I was totally open about it.

Yes but your pics might have just helped persuade them a bit...

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Ah ha, saves me typing...Thanks.

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By *harliesteveCouple over a year ago

selly oak

It makes life hard for the men with partners hard work. Steve has my full blessing to go and play alone. I love getting to hear all about it after but yet he still gets the stick. Charlie

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

I could care less about married men being on here: I just don't want to meet them! Some respect that, I have a feeling it's those that are basically decent blokes in sexless marriages, others don't and want to brow beat you into meeting them, probably the I want my cake and eat it too brigade, that's how I look at it.

I'm here for my own hedonistic pleasure, married men just don't fulfil that for me, I have played with them in the past. When one man bought me shower gel to use before we played, as it was his wife's own make and she'd expect him to smell of it, he couldn't take the chance of my smell lingering on him, I knew that was it!

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

" I used to get quite a few messages saying it was refreshingly honest and it led to meeting people who wouldn't usually meet attached men, because I was totally open about it.

Yes but your pics might have just helped persuade them a bit...

Think it would persuade some a LOT!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"people lie about all sorts of things.

maybe they think its nobody elses buisness if they are only looking for sex and not a relationship.

if they read the forums they will know how many people dont like cheaters, so you cant blame them for saying they are single.

one man i met said he was divorced

he liked to tell me about his kids.

when i looked at his profile again i noticed it said he was attached.

then a year later i heard from him again

he was living in another country and his profile said he was married.

if i was a man and thought i could have my cake and eat it too, i probably would.

if a man is a good husband in other ways then i could accept them cheating on me, what you dont know about doesnt hurt you.

No... but their wife turning up with a baseball bat could."

That's the main reason we're reluctant to meet single guys. You're never going to know 100% that they are unattached. For us swinging is a fun aspect of our lives and just wouldn't want the drama

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

" aint we all on here for shag fun not relationships

100% agree. Therefore if being married inhibits MY fun I don't see why "no married men" is not acceptable to some!

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By *lackshadow7Man over a year ago

Toronto

Welcome to the internet, where i assume EVERYONE is being economical with the truth unless proven otherwise, female and male alike.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because it's a subject on a forum?

Discussing a subject is fine but you and I have both seen some pretty nasty comments thrown at men (rarely the women) who admit to being married on here."

True but a significant part of that is simply down to the fact cheating women rarely start threads seeking vindication and/or bemoaning their lack of meets. The married men that get vilified more often than not bring it on themselves.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Welcome to the internet, where i assume EVERYONE is being economical with the truth unless proven otherwise, female and male alike."

Lol, ain't that the truth! Although I have to say that pretty much everything we say is the truth but there are certain things we just won't tell you.

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Because it's a subject on a forum?

Discussing a subject is fine but you and I have both seen some pretty nasty comments thrown at men (rarely the women) who admit to being married on here.

No but you often see women mention in a thread that they are attached or married, usually with very little response.

It's rarely the same level of response when an attached or married guy mentions it.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman over a year ago

Kent

" I used to get quite a few messages saying it was refreshingly honest and it led to meeting people who wouldn't usually meet attached men, because I was totally open about it.

Yes but your pics might have just helped persuade them a bit...

Think it would persuade some a LOT!!!

Agree!! Those pics would make it pretty impossible to argue with anything I think!! Lol x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This subject pops up frequently. Yes I'm married, do I believe I can take the moral highroad ? No

Does the fact that many wouldn't be interested in me concern me ? No I fully respect their choices.

Do the vindictive, judgemental posts bother me ? Probably.

But where do you draw the line without having the whole picture ?smoked cannabis ?Ah then you must be some dirty junkie wwho's too thick to enjoy yourself without drugs ?

Claiming benefits ? Nah I'm not meeting you, you must be a right slob living in a council house!

Got a manual job or work in a shop ? You must be a bit stupid and can't be very interesting company !

Oh sorry have I passed judgements and offended ? Sigh....look at the profiles, make a choice then move on if the people aren't what you approve of.

Yes its a forum and yes you should express an opinion, but maybe do so objectively without insults ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well said that's what got the world like it is today to meny people passing judgment on others ,maybe they should look at there own faults first ,live and let live that's what I say

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are plenty of sites that cater for married people playing away so why not go use them ?

Oh hold on a moment those sort of sites make you pay up front for the use of them !

I know ill join a swingers site because everyone on there will fuck just about anything that moves with a pulse and once ive met 1 person the flodd gates will be open to me and ill have pussy/cock by the lorry load.

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By *ohohoWoman over a year ago

Up North

"When I was playing without my girlfriend's knowledge the first line of my profile said that I'm attached and my girlfriend didn't know I was on here.

I used to get quite a few messages saying it was refreshingly honest and it led to meeting people who wouldn't usually meet attached men, because I was totally open about it.

Stop making me perv at your pics!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well said that's what got the world like it is today to meny people passing judgment on others ,maybe they should look at there own faults first ,live and let live that's what I say "

So you've never judged anyone ever?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well said that's what got the world like it is today to meny people passing judgment on others ,maybe they should look at there own faults first ,live and let live that's what I say

So you've never judged anyone ever?

True my friends, everyone does to some degree, but surely when the people who are judged, aren't necessarily impacting on you personally then maybe sharing an indifferent approach is best ?

I'm not trying to alter anyone's opinion, but life has taught me that those that think they know so much about things are generally those who know the least.

Best of luck to everyone for whatever reason they are on here. I haven't pestered anyone, been abusive, cried that its unfair or can't get meets, I simply declare who I am then go about my business.

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By *ohohoWoman over a year ago

Up North

Married to me means that I would play with them as a couple not as a single. Male or female. It's the same.

I have never cheated on a partner and would be devastated if I was cheated on. Sure this is a site where we meet others for sex but it doesn't mean that your morals should change.

Honesty from all parties is key. This site caters for all so I don't understand the need to lie

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" aint we all on here for shag fun not relationships

100% agree. Therefore if being married inhibits MY fun I don't see why "no married men" is not acceptable to some!

yh fun exactly.. not complications that can arise from intruding on others relationships..

as people have said.. noone should pass judgement on those who are married.. so i dont, i step back and pass no judgement on it being ok or not to.. i stay out of it full stop..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When I was playing without my girlfriend's knowledge the first line of my profile said that I'm attached and my girlfriend didn't know I was on here.

I used to get quite a few messages saying it was refreshingly honest and it led to meeting people who wouldn't usually meet attached men, because I was totally open about it.

Don't take this the wrong way but I don't think it was because you were 'refreshingly honest' that people were meeting you, it's because you're hot. Let's not get it twisted, some people will always make allowances for those they're sexually attracted to

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By *riendly foeWoman over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

I really dont give a toss if he married....

I dont meet married men simply because they dont accommodate.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just as a matter of interest, for those of you who frequent clubs, do you check with potential male playmates whether they are married or not?

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By *riendly foeWoman over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What if we reverse the fact a married man lies on his profile and assume that the married man then try to arrange meets.

By the responses of the forums how many do you think would actually get a meet?

I would say less than 1%

You will then have the "single ladies" complain about where are all the decent single guys are.

People lie on here because it give them a greater chance of getting a meet.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if we reverse the fact a married man lies on his profile and assume that the married man then try to arrange meets.

By the responses of the forums how many do you think would actually get a meet?

I would say less than 1%

You will then have the "single ladies" complain about where are all the decent single guys are.

People lie on here because it give them a greater chance of getting a meet."

Rubbish - if all the cheating men on here left today there isn;t a single woman that would find themselves struggling for meets such is the imbalance between males and females on here.

And married men, with an inability to accomodate and restricted availability may or may not meet your definition of decent but they certainly meet may peoples definition of unreliable.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if we reverse the fact a married man lies on his profile and assume that the married man then try to arrange meets.

By the responses of the forums how many do you think would actually get a meet?

I would say less than 1%

You will then have the "single ladies" complain about where are all the decent single guys are.

People lie on here because it give them a greater chance of getting a meet.

Rubbish - if all the cheating men on here left today there isn;t a single woman that would find themselves struggling for meets such is the imbalance between males and females on here.

And married men, with an inability to accomodate and restricted availability may or may not meet your definition of decent but they certainly meet may peoples definition of unreliable.

Well I'm not going to cross contaminate threads, and you raise valid points, but the OP's thread asked why do they lie about status.. not lie in order to meet.

The intersting fact is that not many of the other profiles have to reveal much about theirpersonal side other than what they cchoose to, thus protecting themselves from any judgements ?

For instance, do people add previous criminalconvictions, if they are fdrug users, have they ever been abusive, do they earn a living etc etc.

Ps this isnt a retort, I actually find many of your posts very balanced, its food for thought.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reading this thread and the responses, you wonder why people lie?

Because some seek to make pariahs out of others for their choices, that's why.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No, I don't wonder why people lie, I deal with liars on a daily basis. I believe people lie in order to gain what they wish in my experience, be that tangible things or emotional

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By *riendly foeWoman over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

I reckon a lot of single women here dont meet married men because they are looking for much more than a one off meet....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I reckon a lot of single women here dont meet married men because they are looking for much more than a one off meet....

Well I'm glad you said that.....its taken the heat off me for a bit !

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I reckon a lot of single women here dont meet married men because they are looking for much more than a one off meet....

"
I think you have a point there, some wont like it but i suspect its true in some cases.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Reading this thread and the responses, you wonder why people lie?

Because some seek to make pariahs out of others for their choices, that's why.

That's one reason but not the only one and I don't think that making other people responsible for one's lies is an excuse.

Although I did lie to my Mum about going to an X rated film when I was 14 because I knew she would be angry....whose responsibility was that?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What if we reverse the fact a married man lies on his profile and assume that the married man then try to arrange meets.

By the responses of the forums how many do you think would actually get a meet?

I would say less than 1%

You will then have the "single ladies" complain about where are all the decent single guys are.

People lie on here because it give them a greater chance of getting a meet.

Rubbish - if all the cheating men on here left today there isn;t a single woman that would find themselves struggling for meets such is the imbalance between males and females on here.

And married men, with an inability to accomodate and restricted availability may or may not meet your definition of decent but they certainly meet may peoples definition of unreliable.

Well I'm not going to cross contaminate threads, and you raise valid points, but the OP's thread asked why do they lie about status.. not lie in order to meet.

The intersting fact is that not many of the other profiles have to reveal much about theirpersonal side other than what they cchoose to, thus protecting themselves from any judgements ?

For instance, do people add previous criminalconvictions, if they are fdrug users, have they ever been abusive, do they earn a living etc etc.

Ps this isnt a retort, I actually find many of your posts very balanced, its food for thought. "

And equally I'm not having a go at you. Your posts come across as questioning rather than pointless whinging.

It comes down to numbers (and I've been on here as a single guy so speak from experience), single men are the least required and most over populated demographic on here. So you need to stand out and you need to eliminate as many potential pitfalls as possible. Being married is undoubtedly a pitfall so lying about status is in effect lying to get a meet as that is the ultimate purpose.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I reckon a lot of single women here dont meet married men because they are looking for much more than a one off meet....

Could i ask in what way are you thinking ? xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thing is when a guy is married but doesn't say you aren't being given a choice about butting in or butting out cos as soon as you have sex with him you are involved in that relationship in some way!

I don't knowingly meet cheats...that's my choice. If people want to cheat I want no involvement in their deceit. I wouldn't want it done to me and, maybe more selfishly, I don't want to be involved when she finds out and the shit hits the fan. I'm on here for fun, not to feel guilty for being a part of someone else's relationship break down - and yes I get that many will say there must have been issues for him (or her) to cheat, blah blah blah, but sort it with the person you love rather than humiliating your partner on here.

That's my opinion and I don't really care if it offends the cheats or those that play with them as I won't be convinced to change my mind

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By *riendly foeWoman over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

"I reckon a lot of single women here dont meet married men because they are looking for much more than a one off meet....

Could i ask in what way are you thinking ? xx"

A relationship...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I just assume they are all married and go from there.. "

Yet more discrimination against us genuine single men hehehehehehehehe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I just assume they are all married and go from there..

Yet more discrimination against us genuine single men hehehehehehehehe

i assume alot of things about everyone and go from there.. whats wrong with that.. if your not what i assume then whats the problem.. hardly discrimination.

i call it safety