What do you mean when you say you want to push boundaries, or that you want to have your boundaries pushed?
For me, if I set a boundary in any part of my life and someone pushes it, then the (negative) consequences kick in. If it happened during sex/kink it would mean an immediate end to the session.
Do you think it’s become synonymous with “trying new things”? |
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We interpret as a desire to find new boundaries.
Agreed boundaries before play are set - all day - with you that play stops it broken.
But to explore new boundaries would mean to experiment. Anal as an example, what is the limit? You won’t know until you find out.
Trust and consent are important here.
Have fun
xx |
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Some people sem to have a different interpretation of it.
I'm quite weird about wording. If someone tells me they want to push my boundaries I'm immediately turned off and the gut reaction is that I like my boundaries where they are thanks. |
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I think that if people say they want their boundaries pushed then they are really asking to try new things but they are a bit scared to actually do them else they would have already done them.
As you say OP that is different to someone saying “these are my boundaries” because that’s people saying I _don’t_ want to go there. |
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Fir us it's the hotwife dynamic. Maybe how far down the rabbit hole you think you can go. Like from simple wife bull hubby watching to meeting alone then maybe even developing into a cuckold thing. Its Maybe being pushed into the unknown. It's scary and exciting at the same time. We still know if one of us says no then its a firm no..  |
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"Some people sem to have a different interpretation of it.
I'm quite weird about wording. If someone tells me they want to push my boundaries I'm immediately turned off and the gut reaction is that I like my boundaries where they are thanks."
This is how I feel. I generally don’t meet people who say they’re into pushing boundaries because I immediately feel like my boundaries won’t be respected. |
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By *eliWoman 42 weeks ago
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It's not something I really say, I'd probably use hard/soft limits.
I do understand that different people have different interpretations to it so I try and understand what they mean rather than go with my initial response, if that makes sense? In part, that's because I'm ND. I know that I can read things very literally and trying to be more aware of the grey area and the subjectivity of language. |
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We agree with the hard / soft limits. I guess you evolve as you go , we have changed since we started swinging but some boundaries/limits remain the same . We started soft swap and now we are a full swap couple but playing separately is a hard limit for us so we'd never do it x |
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Ive never really gotten it tbh, it seems an innocent enough phrase that piques interest, when either doing what you want or saying hold on there should suffice. I suppose it does tell people you're open minded, so it could be a precursor to something like an fb, that there's more to explore.. |
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"I wonder if it's a term more used by submissive people???
Just a thought  "
The opposite in my experience.
It’s men who identify as dominant who seem to want to push boundaries (both here and on other sites). |
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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago
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"What do you mean when you say you want to push boundaries, or that you want to have your boundaries pushed?
For me, if I set a boundary in any part of my life and someone pushes it, then the (negative) consequences kick in. If it happened during sex/kink it would mean an immediate end to the session.
Do you think it’s become synonymous with “trying new things”?"
I like the idea that it’s about trying new things. My boundaries are guidelines, I’d like someone to push some of mine, that would excite me.
What I don’t like, is the difference when someone breaks one of my rules.
So there’s a big difference between my rules and expectations of respect and my boundaries.
 |
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"What do you mean when you say you want to push boundaries, or that you want to have your boundaries pushed?
For me, if I set a boundary in any part of my life and someone pushes it, then the (negative) consequences kick in. If it happened during sex/kink it would mean an immediate end to the session.
Do you think it’s become synonymous with “trying new things”?
I like the idea that it’s about trying new things. My boundaries are guidelines, I’d like someone to push some of mine, that would excite me.
What I don’t like, is the difference when someone breaks one of my rules.
So there’s a big difference between my rules and expectations of respect and my boundaries.
"
So, I think there’s a big movement (in feminist circles) to move away from “rules” in relationships and towards boundaries instead besause they allow us to have more control over the situation.
“We wont have sex when we’re d*unk” is fine but it doesn’t say anything. Ok, so what? So you have sex when you’re d*unk. What then
“I don’t want to have sex when we’re d*unk because it doesn’t make me feel good the next day, and the consequence is that we won’t have sex again” is a considered boundary with a consequence.
Rules are used to control others, but boundaries are us expressing how we will best look after ourselves and ensure our happiness.
So I think that’s why I struggle so much with the idea of “pushing” boundaries. Like if I say “I don’t want to peg you when we meet” and the other person keeps trying to make that happen, then they’re pushing at a boundary that I’ve set to maintain my happiness and it’s disrespectful at the least. |
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"I wonder if it's a term more used by submissive people???
Just a thought
The opposite in my experience.
It’s men who identify as dominant who seem to want to push boundaries (both here and on other sites)."
I don't look at men's but it's on a lot of women's couple's profiles. |
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I like to plan ahead what will happen so that sir can be very assertive and take my willingness for granted, but I am happy to have boundaries pushed on the understanding that I may politely and respectfully ask to be spared that on this occasion |
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By (user no longer on site) 42 weeks ago
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"What do you mean when you say you want to push boundaries, or that you want to have your boundaries pushed?
For me, if I set a boundary in any part of my life and someone pushes it, then the (negative) consequences kick in. If it happened during sex/kink it would mean an immediate end to the session.
Do you think it’s become synonymous with “trying new things”?
I like the idea that it’s about trying new things. My boundaries are guidelines, I’d like someone to push some of mine, that would excite me.
What I don’t like, is the difference when someone breaks one of my rules.
So there’s a big difference between my rules and expectations of respect and my boundaries.
So, I think there’s a big movement (in feminist circles) to move away from “rules” in relationships and towards boundaries instead besause they allow us to have more control over the situation.
“We wont have sex when we’re d*unk” is fine but it doesn’t say anything. Ok, so what? So you have sex when you’re d*unk. What then
“I don’t want to have sex when we’re d*unk because it doesn’t make me feel good the next day, and the consequence is that we won’t have sex again” is a considered boundary with a consequence.
Rules are used to control others, but boundaries are us expressing how we will best look after ourselves and ensure our happiness.
So I think that’s why I struggle so much with the idea of “pushing” boundaries. Like if I say “I don’t want to peg you when we meet” and the other person keeps trying to make that happen, then they’re pushing at a boundary that I’ve set to maintain my happiness and it’s disrespectful at the least."
So your boundaries are my rules.
Nobody is pegging me the first time I meet someone, that’s a rule I live by.
The wording can be different, but I think we are mean the same thing.
Put my rules can change, just as much as my boundaries can be moved.
And I think in any relationship that can benefit from compromise, communication and understanding, and especially a little bit of give-and-take, having somebody that is willing to try to push your boundaries and have you step out of your comfort zone or try new things like you said at the beginning, it’s a good idea. Because it stops a relationship come in stale as if your rules, or boundaries are set in stone.
What happens when one person starts to change and grow? And the other won’t budge on their stipulations?
Just a thought. |
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By *ORBCouple 42 weeks ago
Dundalk |
I've always interpreted it as someone saying they are seeking to push their own boundaries not someone else's.
They may be looking for someone with a similar mindset.
I've seen numerous single woman profiles saying they are looking for someone to help push boundaries or take them out of their comfort zones so it's not a gender specific comment.
RB |
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I personally have things I would never do. Like needle play and certain other things in BDSM. I don't want anyone to push my boundaries on those.
For me, pushing boundaries is about things I have never done before or never thought of doing, but maybe convinced to do by a right domme. Like increasing the size of strap-on during pegging or increasing the pain level.
I guess the trick is to negotiate hard and soft boundaries. Soft boundaries can be pushed but you need to get a verbal consent before doing it. Hard boundaries cannot be pushed and don't even talk about it during play. |
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By *oxy jWoman 42 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
i get this with dom guys via messages all the time i just tell them no thanks i know my boundaries and any attempt to try and cross them is sexual assault plain and simple
if im with someone i know well and want to try something i will talk to then and if ok consent from us both then on we go |
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