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I’ve challenged my wife to have an affair
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I’ve watched my wife with other men many a time and some bulls have found it funny to get her to agree to fuck them behind my back too, and enjoyed telling me some time after, it all got me thinking and I’ve know challenged her to see how long she can have a full on affair without me knowing
I’m sure there will be many different views on this |
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By *onMashMan 37 weeks ago
Lichfield |
Agree, surely the longer the affair lasts, the more emotionally attracted they may become? I kind of understand you wanting other men to want your wife, what a turn on, though a full blown affair and a secretive one at that, I'm not sure what you will achieve from the scenario. Play the field together and enjoy the ride as a couple x |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"Agree, surely the longer the affair lasts, the more emotionally attracted they may become? I kind of understand you wanting other men to want your wife, what a turn on, though a full blown affair and a secretive one at that, I'm not sure what you will achieve from the scenario. Play the field together and enjoy the ride as a couple x"
This |
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By *RWoodyCouple 37 weeks ago
Lincolnshire |
"I think you're playing with fire "
Totally agree 
Enjoy your wife with others based on the foundation of your love for her. Once emotions start, and they may well do, it could be an ever increasing slippery slope to a horrible situation.
Just my 2p.
J x |
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"In the interests of understanding your thoughts, what are the benefits to you of your wife doing something you don't know anything about?"
When she’s done it before the guy told me after that she got wet really quick and seemed excited by the deceit and getting away with it, but knowing it would be ok if I found out too |
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I think if you agree to boundaries and you are both up for it, then go for it. But discuss the points raised by the comments above. The only problem is that you will know this is on the cards so will be looking out for signs, so the secret part will be compromised. |
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"I’ve watched my wife with other men many a time and some bulls have found it funny to get her to agree to fuck them behind my back too, and enjoyed telling me some time after, it all got me thinking and I’ve know challenged her to see how long she can have a full on affair without me knowing
I’m sure there will be many different views on this "
While it sounds all sexy and flirtatious, it's the silliest thing you could possibly do.
Think of the number of times you go to the shops or see a mate and say nothing, sex can be an evening out, 5 mins, a lunch break, 1/2 a day off or a full day off work. The fact that you'd never know until she told you would mean you'd be second guessing each other from then on. |
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"In the interests of understanding your thoughts, what are the benefits to you of your wife doing something you don't know anything about?
When she’s done it before the guy told me after that she got wet really quick and seemed excited by the deceit and getting away with it, but knowing it would be ok if I found out too "
I've played in this type of open relationship.. it can get messy quick. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I’ve watched my wife with other men many a time and some bulls have found it funny to get her to agree to fuck them behind my back too, and enjoyed telling me some time after, it all got me thinking and I’ve know challenged her to see how long she can have a full on affair without me knowing
I’m sure there will be many different views on this "
Is this because you are lining someone up and this will ease the guilt ? |
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"In the interests of understanding your thoughts, what are the benefits to you of your wife doing something you don't know anything about?
When she’s done it before the guy told me after that she got wet really quick and seemed excited by the deceit and getting away with it, but knowing it would be ok if I found out too "
So just sex, not an emotional affair? |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I’ve totally get it and was trying to force the same.
Thanks for replying here, it’s interesting how those who don’t think it’s a good idea reply here and those that do reply in private "
That’s convenient |
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"This was in the past. But it was by not giving her the attention she needed.
I'm genuinely trying to understand this not being argumentative but why?"
Do t know myself really, age has long term relationships where I’ve been invited and not invited to watch, one guy she saw for 7 years and never told him I knew, so to him it was an affair, and they wen away on holiday |
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"This was in the past. But it was by not giving her the attention she needed.
I'm genuinely trying to understand this not being argumentative but why?
Do t know myself really, age has long term relationships where I’ve been invited and not invited to watch, one guy she saw for 7 years and never told him I knew, so to him it was an affair, and they wen away on holiday "
I'm really trying to understand why the man I quoted stopped giving his wife attention. It seems a bit counter productive to me. When my ex stopped giving me the attention I needed I left... |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I’ve totally get it and was trying to force the same.
Forcing someone to do something sexually is sexual assault."
Thank god. I thought it was only me reading it that way |
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By *hoirCouple 37 weeks ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"This was in the past. But it was by not giving her the attention she needed. "
I actually can't wrap my head around this and I consider myself quite open minded. Did you both agree to this? Did you want her to leave you without you having to break up with her?
I can't see how you'd think she would stay with you even with an affair to keep her going sexually.
P |
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By *hoirCouple 37 weeks ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"I’ve totally get it and was trying to force the same.
Forcing someone to do something sexually is sexual assault."
He does say trying, which would be coercion but I'm nitpicking because the guy sounds unhinged and I can't process it
P |
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"I’ve totally get it and was trying to force the same.
Forcing someone to do something sexually is sexual assault.
Thank god. I thought it was only me reading it that way "
lol. Yes it’s you two totally reading it the wrong way. Forcing a situation./scenario. Or shall I use guiding instead. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I’ve totally get it and was trying to force the same.
Forcing someone to do something sexually is sexual assault.
Thank god. I thought it was only me reading it that way
lol. Yes it’s you two totally reading it the wrong way. Forcing a situation./scenario. Or shall I use guiding instead. "
Just putting it out there. I don’t think it’s is |
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If she has been and tells you she and he have grown emotionally closer than you and her, how do you honestly think your reaction might be..
I think any partner who is asked to do this, despite sharing the times with others together and knowing when they are with others by arrangement might feel the person asking this to happen is trying to move away from their relationship..
But using the 'why don't you have an affair' fantasy or kink or whatever simply as an excuse..
A few (even a couple of them) and pushing the other towards someone has all the potential to end badly..
Just my opinion.. |
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"I’ve totally get it and was trying to force the same.
Forcing someone to do something sexually is sexual assault.
Thank god. I thought it was only me reading it that way
lol. Yes it’s you two totally reading it the wrong way. Forcing a situation./scenario. Or shall I use guiding instead. "
Forcing someone to engage in sexual contact with someone is coercement and sexual assault.
If you did not mean that, then don’t use the word force. |
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By *hoirCouple 37 weeks ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"Yes I agree force was the wrong term to use. "
Even with piss poor wording, you say you withheld attention, which I'm sure has been used in court as evidence for Domestic Abuse.
I am not getting good vibes from this
P |
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"Yes I agree force was the wrong term to use.
Even with piss poor wording, you say you withheld attention, which I'm sure has been used in court as evidence for Domestic Abuse.
I am not getting good vibes from this
P"
So if you’re not getting sex anymore with your partner because they're not up for it then that’s Donestic Abuse lol. Did you hear that all you guys  |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"Yes I agree force was the wrong term to use.
Even with piss poor wording, you say you withheld attention, which I'm sure has been used in court as evidence for Domestic Abuse.
I am not getting good vibes from this
P
So if you’re not getting sex anymore with your partner because they're not up for it then that’s Donestic Abuse lol. Did you hear that all you guys "
So how’s your morning been ? |
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By *hoirCouple 37 weeks ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"Yes I agree force was the wrong term to use.
Even with piss poor wording, you say you withheld attention, which I'm sure has been used in court as evidence for Domestic Abuse.
I am not getting good vibes from this
P
So if you’re not getting sex anymore with your partner because they're not up for it then that’s Donestic Abuse lol. Did you hear that all you guys "
No, that would be neglect and is geounds for divorce.
Stop gaslighting my other half as you admitted to withdrawing affection. This is a form of coercive control and emotional abuse.
Do try and be better.
C |
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"Yes I agree force was the wrong term to use.
Even with piss poor wording, you say you withheld attention, which I'm sure has been used in court as evidence for Domestic Abuse.
I am not getting good vibes from this
P
So if you’re not getting sex anymore with your partner because they're not up for it then that’s Donestic Abuse lol. Did you hear that all you guys "
If that's how your trying to deflect from what you've said then it's a pretty poor response..
You don't know the details of others relationships, but they certainly aren't all going about things as you have said you might like to.. |
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By *hoirCouple 37 weeks ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"Yes I agree force was the wrong term to use.
Even with piss poor wording, you say you withheld attention, which I'm sure has been used in court as evidence for Domestic Abuse.
I am not getting good vibes from this
P
So if you’re not getting sex anymore with your partner because they're not up for it then that’s Donestic Abuse lol. Did you hear that all you guys "
Yes actually, if someone is deliberately witholding physical affection and attention from you as a method of controlling your behaviour then it is Domestic Abuse.
You are avoiding further explanation by deflecting and in the most obvious way at that
P |
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"Yes I agree force was the wrong term to use.
Even with piss poor wording, you say you withheld attention, which I'm sure has been used in court as evidence for Domestic Abuse.
I am not getting good vibes from this
P
So if you’re not getting sex anymore with your partner because they're not up for it then that’s Donestic Abuse lol. Did you hear that all you guys "
If you think that sex is the same as attention then you need to go back to school. |
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"I didn’t want this thread to be hijacked, it wasnt mine to start with. I just made a short statement sort of agreeing with op’s scenario.
Nah mate. You said a few pretty atrocious things. "
Explain |
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By *hoirCouple 37 weeks ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"I didn’t want this thread to be hijacked, it wasnt mine to start with. I just made a short statement sort of agreeing with op’s scenario.
Nah mate. You said a few pretty atrocious things.
Explain"
We have all said it but you refuse to be accountable and instead mocked my partner for pointing it out.
C |
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By *hoirCouple 37 weeks ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"I didn’t want this thread to be hijacked, it wasnt mine to start with. I just made a short statement sort of agreeing with op’s scenario. "
Hardly matters with the things you've mentioned. You diverged from the OP's scenario by mentioning your abusive behaviour
Belittling my point hasn't made you look clever. You're just adding weight to your already alarming statements.
P |
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"I didn’t want this thread to be hijacked, it wasnt mine to start with. I just made a short statement sort of agreeing with op’s scenario.
Nah mate. You said a few pretty atrocious things.
Explain"
Forcing women to do things.
Treating your partner so poorly that you think she’d resort to an affair (which indicates that perhaps she doesn’t have the ability to leave, which is concerning).
And then mocking domestic abuse victims. |
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By *hoirCouple 37 weeks ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"Still getting lots of PM”s in favour, but it would be good to move on !!!
So here’s another question can a person love more than one person "
Certainly, this is where is becomes polyamoury, but without amazing communication it's very difficult to navigate
P |
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"Still getting lots of PM”s in favour, but it would be good to move on !!!
So here’s another question can a person love more than one person "
Absolutely, but I don't think the scenario you're proposing, and 'love' go hand in hand. You're suggesting your wife doesn't tell you for as long as possible whilst she has an 'affair' with someone? You give zero clarity on by this if you just mean sex. Or do you mean you want her to fall in love in which case seems a lot of very messy emotions for all involved. And if she leaves for them you may wish you hadn't played with fire  |
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"I didn’t want this thread to be hijacked, it wasnt mine to start with. I just made a short statement sort of agreeing with op’s scenario.
Nah mate. You said a few pretty atrocious things.
Explain
Forcing women to do things.
Treating your partner so poorly that you think she’d resort to an affair (which indicates that perhaps she doesn’t have the ability to leave, which is concerning).
And then mocking domestic abuse victims."
Jesus, you got all that from a few clumsy words. Overreaction. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I didn’t want this thread to be hijacked, it wasnt mine to start with. I just made a short statement sort of agreeing with op’s scenario.
Nah mate. You said a few pretty atrocious things.
Explain
Forcing women to do things.
Treating your partner so poorly that you think she’d resort to an affair (which indicates that perhaps she doesn’t have the ability to leave, which is concerning).
And then mocking domestic abuse victims.
Jesus, you got all that from a few clumsy words. Overreaction."
Damn it man. It had just subsided |
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"I’ve watched my wife with other men many a time and some bulls have found it funny to get her to agree to fuck them behind my back too, and enjoyed telling me some time after, it all got me thinking and I’ve know challenged her to see how long she can have a full on affair without me knowing
I’m sure there will be many different views on this "
There's gotta be a line no? |
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"I didn’t want this thread to be hijacked, it wasnt mine to start with. I just made a short statement sort of agreeing with op’s scenario.
Nah mate. You said a few pretty atrocious things.
Explain
Forcing women to do things.
Treating your partner so poorly that you think she’d resort to an affair (which indicates that perhaps she doesn’t have the ability to leave, which is concerning).
And then mocking domestic abuse victims.
Jesus, you got all that from a few clumsy words. Overreaction.
Damn it man. It had just subsided "
Sorry couldn't help it, some posters are notorious for being over dramatic.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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"I didn’t want this thread to be hijacked, it wasnt mine to start with. I just made a short statement sort of agreeing with op’s scenario.
Nah mate. You said a few pretty atrocious things.
Explain
Forcing women to do things.
Treating your partner so poorly that you think she’d resort to an affair (which indicates that perhaps she doesn’t have the ability to leave, which is concerning).
And then mocking domestic abuse victims.
Jesus, you got all that from a few clumsy words. Overreaction.
Damn it man. It had just subsided
Sorry couldn't help it, some posters are notorious for being over dramatic.
Mrs "
Oops sorry Mrs x |
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Whatever about the already dangers, I get such a huge kick when Sasha has fun without me. ( It rarely happens, but occasionally ). I love hearing every detail, usually while I'm still inside her, struggling not to cum. |
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By *rispyDuckMan 37 weeks ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
"Agree, surely the longer the affair lasts, the more emotionally attracted they may become? I kind of understand you wanting other men to want your wife, what a turn on, though a full blown affair and a secretive one at that, I'm not sure what you will achieve from the scenario. Play the field together and enjoy the ride as a couple x"
Well said  |
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"Whatever about the already dangers, I get such a huge kick when Sasha has fun without me. ( It rarely happens, but occasionally ). I love hearing every detail, usually while I'm still inside her, struggling not to cum."
It’s great when that happens too, mines had a few men without me being there too |
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"I’ve watched my wife with other men many a time and some bulls have found it funny to get her to agree to fuck them behind my back too, and enjoyed telling me some time after, it all got me thinking and I’ve know challenged her to see how long she can have a full on affair without me knowing
I’m sure there will be many different views on this "
Confused. If you already have an open marriage, what’s the point in keeping secrets?
Seems to overly complicate having fun?!? |
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By (user no longer on site) 32 weeks ago
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"I think you're playing with fire "
I agree, it sounds like a recipe for disaster. There’s a difference between a fling and an affair. It’s natural for humans to bond as more time passes. |
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"I’ve watched my wife with other men many a time and some bulls have found it funny to get her to agree to fuck them behind my back too, and enjoyed telling me some time after, it all got me thinking and I’ve know challenged her to see how long she can have a full on affair without me knowing
I’m sure there will be many different views on this
Confused. If you already have an open marriage, what’s the point in keeping secrets?
Seems to overly complicate having fun?!?"
She has fucked behind my back before and the guy told me a little while after that she found the organised and deception very exciting and a turn on, I know I’ll find out eventually but after how long is the question |
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By *reasyMan 29 weeks ago
Caerphilly |
Fascinating thread
My only thoughts are knowing you have set her the “challenge” surely makes you extra vigilant ?
Most affairs are unexpected ?
I get the dynamic she knows it will never hurt if she’s found out. The excitement of playing is still the same though I think
Sounds like a lot of fun to me |
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"I’ve watched my wife with other men many a time and some bulls have found it funny to get her to agree to fuck them behind my back too, and enjoyed telling me some time after, it all got me thinking and I’ve know challenged her to see how long she can have a full on affair without me knowing I've been seeing her for years ????
I’m sure there will be many different views on this "
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Um OK.
Our thoughts is this sounds like a fantasy and like many men do on these forums, give it large behind a keyboard. It sounds horny, in your mind it'll be very good but the reality is different.
This sounds a one way ticket to divorce. Obviously none of us know your wife or her take on this, only what you've said, but it doesn't sound like it'll be the happy ever after ending you may think it will be. |
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If this is true all I can say, your wife has to have a heart of absolute stone to be able to carry an affair off without it all going wrong, trust me from someone who had a fuck buddy (with consent from my husband) and then it turned into much more and eventually an affair (I mean, it was more of an affair myside, the guy I was seeing didn't see it that way), I almost lost my marriage, my home and my friends, honestly if you want your marriage to survive I strongly urge you not to pursue this. |
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By *ooneyCouple 26 weeks ago
Chester |
"I’ve watched my wife with other men many a time and some bulls have found it funny to get her to agree to fuck them behind my back too, and enjoyed telling me some time after, it all got me thinking and I’ve know challenged her to see how long she can have a full on affair without me knowing
I’m sure there will be many different views on this "
Careful what you wish for. |
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We have one rule, the other person has to know, either before hand or during (vids and pic sending). Never after unless it's within a limited time frame. Ie oh by the way I fucked this guy an hour ago I met on the bus, as that's a chance meet. But anything arranged we share from the get go. |
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"No quizzing just looking for clues "
I don't know why you are looking for clues. If you want her to have one, you accept at any point she is having one. There's no need to look, life is normal, she is shagging whoever and you are happy (thinking) knowing she is. Buy her a necklace, a meal out, and some flowers seen as she's putting up with your constant probing. |
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if you are both ok with it I cant see any harm it keeps him thrilled all the time and gives the wife a chance to concentrate on her pleasure and that of her chosen partner I could always tell straight away when my wife had had a good time by the incredibly sexy glint in her eye as she greeted me |
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"if you are both ok with it I cant see any harm it keeps him thrilled all the time and gives the wife a chance to concentrate on her pleasure and that of her chosen partner I could always tell straight away when my wife had had a good time by the incredibly sexy glint in her eye as she greeted me "
When she met without me knowing she found the planning and build up very exciting |
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"In the interests of understanding your thoughts, what are the benefits to you of your wife doing something you don't know anything about?"
Exactly kind of defeats the purpose of swinging
there's total honesty & trust which makes it work out so well for both totally in love couple |
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As a coupe who’s marriage developed into a cuckold relationship after she had a one-night stand many years ago on a night out with friends, I would say honesty is the best way to keep your relationship together.
Being open with one another and accepting of each others sexual needs is a more safer option than sneaking around behind each others backs, which will only lead to disaster in the long run, in my opinion.
If you are happy to accept that your wife needs to cuckold you, why be so secretive about it, surely the excitement comes from being part of that cuckold scenario ?
Just our thoughts anyway. |
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"As a coupe who’s marriage developed into a cuckold relationship after she had a one-night stand many years ago on a night out with friends, I would say honesty is the best way to keep your relationship together.
Being open with one another and accepting of each others sexual needs is a more safer option than sneaking around behind each others backs, which will only lead to disaster in the long run, in my opinion.
If you are happy to accept that your wife needs to cuckold you, why be so secretive about it, surely the excitement comes from being part of that cuckold scenario ?
Just our thoughts anyway."
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"As a coupe who’s marriage developed into a cuckold relationship after she had a one-night stand many years ago on a night out with friends, I would say honesty is the best way to keep your relationship together.
Being open with one another and accepting of each others sexual needs is a more safer option than sneaking around behind each others backs, which will only lead to disaster in the long run, in my opinion.
If you are happy to accept that your wife needs to cuckold you, why be so secretive about it, surely the excitement comes from being part of that cuckold scenario ?
Just our thoughts anyway."
Been in this life style for nearly 30 years, i know the excitement of organising something like this will turn her on, as she’s done it before on one offs, and I’ll find out eventually, but who knows how long after, with hopefully lots of stories and details |
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"Interesting, quite a few positive chats in private on this subject but mostly against it in here. Is it that those who like the idea don’t want to admit it? "
It's probably that they're genuinely against it |
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