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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I really want to get into the BDSM scene. Thats kind of the only im quite nervous about exploring..looking for the right guidance in this.
Im naturally quite dominant i would say (but that does not mean im not considerate of her needs - i just love to tease her to satisfy those needs)
How was your first step into this scene? What steps shall i take?
PS. I love leather
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lol what was unexpected?
...i just had a sudden desire. Been thinking of this for a while. So, thought enough thinking - lets make it happen
" think you should look at fet life all one word .you will get a better undrerstanding of it on there,google it.people think they kinky here but lots are not.poppyxx |
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"
How was your first step into this scene? What steps shall i take?
PS. I love leather
"
What was my first step? Go to a Munch.
There's a really big one in central London every month, try googleing London Munch.
There are also munches in Romford, Docklands, Watford, Putney and probably a load more besides.
Read their websites and contact the organisers with questions and to ask for a hand hold on your arrival.
Just like meeting people on the swing scene you will get verified as "real" and others will be more willing to talk to you online and in real life. Chat on the forums, on chat pages and make contacts, maybe arrange to meet people who are going to a fet fair, there are two a month in London.
Personally I find the sprawling forum structure of Fetlife doesn't help newbies and would recommend fetbook as a UK centric and chattier place to make connections.
Remember this is not a hit and run interest, most fem subs will want to build a relationship of trust before allowing you any significant amount of control over them. Be calm or you'll look desperate, just make friends and wait for something to click with somebody.
It worked for us, seven years on and she still regrets answering that memo |
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In the London area you have the London Alternative Market held on the first Sunday of the month, and the London Fetish Fair held on the second Sunday of every month.
Both hold really informative workshops, and are really great with newbies. Both also have after parties, if you explain you are new to the scene then you will be well looked after.
As someone else said there are loads of munches and socials in the area too. Just have a google and go from there. Always explain you are a newbie, and you will be well looked after where ever you go. Although you will be advised to avoid some munches until you are more confident. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im actually on that site. I just realised lol OMG!! dont think i remember my login details now.
...i will try and get back in"
I'm on there too, lots of extra kinky people x |
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To echo what some others have said, find a munch. Head along with an open mind, talk to as many people as you can, and go from there.
There are some people on the kink scene who due to ignorance are quite dismissive and look down on swingers. So I'd maybe be slightly careful in terms of saying that is the scene you have come from. |
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"
There are some people on the kink scene who due to ignorance are quite dismissive and look down on swingers. So I'd maybe be slightly careful in terms of saying that is the scene you have come from. "
This is quite true. At the first Fet Fair in London I attended, I said I'd come from the swing scene at a workshop for beginner kingsters, and got blasted down by a bunch of people. However, the guy leading the talk asked what their problem was, after all a kink is a kink, regardless of the scene we start in. Swingers are seen as kinky to vanillas, so surely we are all kinsters, was his argument. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have only just got into swinging but have played on the BDSM scene for about 5 years. On our profile we make it clear we are primarily here to swing but if there is a localish dom who has a good amount of experience on the BDSM scene we would be very interested. So far, despite maybe 50 guys contacting us saying they were doms or masters I don't think 1 was genuine-they were either Alpha male types into the idea of rough sex or cuckolding or just bulls*****s who never actually meet anyone. So far there doesn't seem to be a crossover on FS, so you are best going on Fetlife or going to your local munch as others have suggested. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Iv always thought a munch was a big feast lol
...so what does BDSM entail? I was under the impression its to do with control and level of authority. I do acknowlege there would be a variety of kinks within BDSM itself
Ps. Personal messages are more than welcome |
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"
I really want to get into the BDSM scene"
Starts out well.....
"
...so what does BDSM entail?"
and then drops the ball
B is for Bondage
D is for Domination
S is for Submission/Sadism
M is for Masochism
Plus its an umbrella term for lots of other fetishes, sexual kinks and general eroticism.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We have only just got into swinging but have played on the BDSM scene for about 5 years. On our profile we make it clear we are primarily here to swing but if there is a localish dom who has a good amount of experience on the BDSM scene we would be very interested. So far, despite maybe 50 guys contacting us saying they were doms or masters I don't think 1 was genuine-they were either Alpha male types into the idea of rough sex or cuckolding or just bulls*****s who never actually meet anyone. So far there doesn't seem to be a crossover on FS, so you are best going on Fetlife or going to your local munch as others have suggested."
Dare i send a message lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I really want to get into the BDSM scene
Starts out well.....
...so what does BDSM entail?
and then drops the ball
B is for Bondage
D is for Domination
S is for Submission/Sadism
M is for Masochism
Plus its an umbrella term for lots of other fetishes, sexual kinks and general eroticism.
"
Lol. I know that...but what 'activities' take place apart from the usual stereotypical whipping etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I really want to get into the BDSM scene
Starts out well.....
...so what does BDSM entail?
and then drops the ball
B is for Bondage
D is for Domination
S is for Submission/Sadism
M is for Masochism
Plus its an umbrella term for lots of other fetishes, sexual kinks and general eroticism.
Lol. I know that...but what 'activities' take place apart from the usual stereotypical whipping etc"
Think you have shot yourself in the foot with that comment... Research it. The websites suggested have quite suggestions as to various kinks.. I've learnt a lot today just by doing a very small amount of research.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Listen to previous post as I got some fantastic advice on spanking and what's good to use etc from them( thanks guys) Don't run before you can walk, look into it more and do some research find out what your looking for etc ,there's so many possibilities. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Listen to previous post as I got some fantastic advice on spanking and what's good to use etc from them( thanks guys) Don't run before you can walk, look into it more and do some research find out what your looking for etc ,there's so many possibilities. "
Crap too slow with the post, I ment the mf couple who last posted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The scene in London is huge. There are so many events from small munches, through to much larger ones, play events, markets, club nights... The list is endless. Research what you are looking for and get out there and get involved |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
Can I ask a question, to either sex, ok I love the bdsm scene, it's not a prerequisite on here, but it helps, but I do love a bit of spanking etc (I wont go into details) But the bruises that appear afterwards is a major turn on for me, but most men on here don't seem to understand it or it makes them run a mile! But it's not as though I am insisting that my meets are into it, but I need to at least try and find out if they are, but by that time, they see the word bruise and think the worst!
Is it just me or should I just keep my mouth shut even though that is what does it for me?
Yes I am on the other site as well, but they expect what I am not willing to give as well, so I see it as if I am in a no win situation, bugger and damnation! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I ask a question, to either sex, ok I love the bdsm scene, it's not a prerequisite on here, but it helps, but I do love a bit of spanking etc (I wont go into details) But the bruises that appear afterwards is a major turn on for me, but most men on here don't seem to understand it or it makes them run a mile! But it's not as though I am insisting that my meets are into it, but I need to at least try and find out if they are, but by that time, they see the word bruise and think the worst!
Is it just me or should I just keep my mouth shut even though that is what does it for me?
Yes I am on the other site as well, but they expect what I am not willing to give as well, so I see it as if I am in a no win situation, bugger and damnation! "
You would be surprised how many Doms you can find on here, its only through chatting for a while that some will admit to it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I ask a question, to either sex, ok I love the bdsm scene, it's not a prerequisite on here, but it helps, but I do love a bit of spanking etc (I wont go into details) But the bruises that appear afterwards is a major turn on for me, but most men on here don't seem to understand it or it makes them run a mile! But it's not as though I am insisting that my meets are into it, but I need to at least try and find out if they are, but by that time, they see the word bruise and think the worst!
Is it just me or should I just keep my mouth shut even though that is what does it for me?
Yes I am on the other site as well, but they expect what I am not willing to give as well, so I see it as if I am in a no win situation, bugger and damnation! "
I understand this completely. I love bruises-especially the ones that stick around for a week or more! They make me smile when I look at them and the longer they last, the prouder I feel of how hard I played. If its what does it for you, then why would you not try to find someone who's willing to do it on here?
crystal |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Can I ask a question, to either sex, ok I love the bdsm scene, it's not a prerequisite on here, but it helps, but I do love a bit of spanking etc (I wont go into details) But the bruises that appear afterwards is a major turn on for me, but most men on here don't seem to understand it or it makes them run a mile! But it's not as though I am insisting that my meets are into it, but I need to at least try and find out if they are, but by that time, they see the word bruise and think the worst!
Is it just me or should I just keep my mouth shut even though that is what does it for me?
Yes I am on the other site as well, but they expect what I am not willing to give as well, so I see it as if I am in a no win situation, bugger and damnation!
You would be surprised how many Doms you can find on here, its only through chatting for a while that some will admit to it "
Oh I know! And that's why I mention it! But...at least 9 out of 10 come back and say they don't understand it and it sounds bad to them! Oh and I don't mention it straight away either, though one of my pics should give them a bit of a clue about what I am into |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Can I ask a question, to either sex, ok I love the bdsm scene, it's not a prerequisite on here, but it helps, but I do love a bit of spanking etc (I wont go into details) But the bruises that appear afterwards is a major turn on for me, but most men on here don't seem to understand it or it makes them run a mile! But it's not as though I am insisting that my meets are into it, but I need to at least try and find out if they are, but by that time, they see the word bruise and think the worst!
Is it just me or should I just keep my mouth shut even though that is what does it for me?
Yes I am on the other site as well, but they expect what I am not willing to give as well, so I see it as if I am in a no win situation, bugger and damnation! "
That may be similar to me where i love the bruises at unexpected place...but of course those bruises are different. But they look amazing!!
Turns me on too see my body marked by who im with..gives me flashbacks in the days to come as to what i have been doing lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I ask a question, to either sex, ok I love the bdsm scene, it's not a prerequisite on here, but it helps, but I do love a bit of spanking etc (I wont go into details) But the bruises that appear afterwards is a major turn on for me, but most men on here don't seem to
understand it or it makes them run a mile! But it's not
as though I am insisting that my meets are into it, but I need to at least try and find out if they are, but by that time, they see the word bruise and think the worst!
Is it just me or should I just keep my mouth shut even though that is what does it for me?
Yes I am on the other site as well, but they expect what I am not willing to give as well, so I see it as if I am in a no win situation, bugger and damnation!
You would be surprised how many Doms you can find on here, its only through chatting for a while that some will admit to it
Oh I know! And that's why I mention it! But...at least 9 out of 10 come back and say they don't understand it and it sounds bad to them! Oh and I don't mention it straight away either, though one of my pics should give them a bit of a clue about what I am into "
Ditto its on my profile so its mainly mentioned by them first xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really want to get into the BDSM scene. Thats kind of the only im quite nervous about exploring..looking for the right guidance in this.
Im naturally quite dominant i would say (but that does not mean im not considerate of her needs - i just love to tease her to satisfy those needs)
How was your first step into this scene? What steps shall i take?
PS. I love leather
"
|
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Can I ask a question, to either sex, ok I love the bdsm scene, it's not a prerequisite on here, but it helps, but I do love a bit of spanking etc (I wont go into details) But the bruises that appear afterwards is a major turn on for me, but most men on here don't seem to
understand it or it makes them run a mile! But it's not
as though I am insisting that my meets are into it, but I need to at least try and find out if they are, but by that time, they see the word bruise and think the worst!
Is it just me or should I just keep my mouth shut even though that is what does it for me?
Yes I am on the other site as well, but they expect what I am not willing to give as well, so I see it as if I am in a no win situation, bugger and damnation!
You would be surprised how many Doms you can find on here, its only through chatting for a while that some will admit to it
Oh I know! And that's why I mention it! But...at least 9 out of 10 come back and say they don't understand it and it sounds bad to them! Oh and I don't mention it straight away either, though one of my pics should give them a bit of a clue about what I am into
Ditto its on my profile so its mainly mentioned by them first xx "
I think I will mention it a bit more on mine, the problem with that is that some (nearly contradicted myself there ) men think they can when it becomes apparant they don't have the first clue, so I will be re-jigging my profile over the weekend, when I can give it a bit more thought |
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