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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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I find I struggle with communicating through written messages, especially when trying to turn the conversation sexual or not come across boring as hell.
I also struggle with friends and family to do normal day to day chat that to me didn't seem to be necessary and I thought was pointless.
I realise now in the last year of self reflecting, that yeah to me it seemed pointless but the people I love and care about like the little things like that and I realise not everyone thinks the same way as me so I now put more effort in.
In person I also struggle unless I've met them before, I feel I click with them instantly or I sense they're a genuine nice person.
It's when I feel they are being fake or putting on a show I really struggle and my brain then just pretends they are not even there. I don't mean for it to come across being rude but I know it does. Can't help it as I don't know how normal people handle these situations  |
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I dont struggle but i know a few who do. The issue is redading subtext and between the lines. And not being able to recognise banter or sarcasm, then youre left second guessing and it can throw people off
S |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"I dont struggle but i know a few who do. The issue is redading subtext and between the lines. And not being able to recognise banter or sarcasm, then youre left second guessing and it can throw people off
S"
Yeah I do this all the time without choosing to. Will read or hear what has been said and instantly start working out if it relates to something else or if there is a hidden meaning or something I might if missed for what they are saying.
By the time I've done that, in a group setting the conversation has already moved onto something else so then I'm trying to work out what they are now on about and the context for it so I can contribute. |
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"I dont struggle but i know a few who do. The issue is redading subtext and between the lines. And not being able to recognise banter or sarcasm, then youre left second guessing and it can throw people off
S
Yeah I do this all the time without choosing to. Will read or hear what has been said and instantly start working out if it relates to something else or if there is a hidden meaning or something I might if missed for what they are saying.
By the time I've done that, in a group setting the conversation has already moved onto something else so then I'm trying to work out what they are now on about and the context for it so I can contribute. "
Yes! Those type of chats are worst for it!
S |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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I find communication in general a struggle. I’ve been single and living on my own now for over 5 years. I actually find the any form of communication quite daunting and fills me with anxiety. Not exactly the perfect combination for being on a site such as this |
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"I find communication in general a struggle. I’ve been single and living on my own now for over 5 years. I actually find the any form of communication quite daunting and fills me with anxiety. Not exactly the perfect combination for being on a site such as this "
But its a step in the right direction fella! Half the battle with anything is trying, the rest is just forward momentum. Stick with it!
S |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"I find communication in general a struggle. I’ve been single and living on my own now for over 5 years. I actually find the any form of communication quite daunting and fills me with anxiety. Not exactly the perfect combination for being on a site such as this
But its a step in the right direction fella! Half the battle with anything is trying, the rest is just forward momentum. Stick with it!
S"
Exactly this, don't give up and keep trying. Only thing I would add to this is and you've probably heard something along these lines before.. definition of crazy is to keep failing but never changing the approach but expect a different outcome.
It took a long time for me to realise everything I think people are thinking about me in that moment isn't actually what I'm telling myself, people are too concerned with their own lives, troubles etc that I'm only a very, very small part of their day. Realising them two things after all these years is helping me to try and be myself around people I just met |
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"I find communication in general a struggle. I’ve been single and living on my own now for over 5 years. I actually find the any form of communication quite daunting and fills me with anxiety. Not exactly the perfect combination for being on a site such as this
But its a step in the right direction fella! Half the battle with anything is trying, the rest is just forward momentum. Stick with it!
S
Exactly this, don't give up and keep trying. Only thing I would add to this is and you've probably heard something along these lines before.. definition of crazy is to keep failing but never changing the approach but expect a different outcome.
It took a long time for me to realise everything I think people are thinking about me in that moment isn't actually what I'm telling myself, people are too concerned with their own lives, troubles etc that I'm only a very, very small part of their day. Realising them two things after all these years is helping me to try and be myself around people I just met "
Yes well said!
S |
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"I dont struggle but i know a few who do. The issue is redading subtext and between the lines. And not being able to recognise banter or sarcasm, then youre left second guessing and it can throw people off
S
Yeah I do this all the time without choosing to. Will read or hear what has been said and instantly start working out if it relates to something else or if there is a hidden meaning or something I might if missed for what they are saying.
By the time I've done that, in a group setting the conversation has already moved onto something else so then I'm trying to work out what they are now on about and the context for it so I can contribute. "
Oh man this gets me everytime. Spotting social cues is difficult but when it comes to doing that in writing, even harder.
I can't pick up on inference, I need direct and straight to the point communication otherwise I'm left guessing and make stuff up in my head! |
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"I find communication in general a struggle. I’ve been single and living on my own now for over 5 years. I actually find the any form of communication quite daunting and fills me with anxiety. Not exactly the perfect combination for being on a site such as this "
My question would be, what do you want from this site and the people on it and who are you looking for? |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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Yup me to, you are not alone. You just have to be selfish and work things to the way you need it to be. .. like for me i can only do cum and go cos i cant stand the social side. |
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"Yup me to, you are not alone. You just have to be selfish and work things to the way you need it to be. .. like for me i can only do cum and go cos i cant stand the social side. "
If I were to meet and there was small talk, I'd instantly hate it and feel mega uncomfortable. If it was deeper emotional conversation or talking about what we were going to do, I'd be fine. |
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I find it almost impossible to guage a connection via written communication only.
I need a face a personality and something real.
Text can be taken so many different ways & I have a very literal way of thinking which doesn't help.
Mrs |
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"I find it almost impossible to guage a connection via written communication only.
I need a face a personality and something real.
Text can be taken so many different ways & I have a very literal way of thinking which doesn't help.
Mrs "
Yes! The reason I get a bit frustrated with this site sometimes, is I know the meeting part of it would be WAY better than trying to communicate here. X |
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I'm AuDHD. I find in person so much easier to communicate and quite often struggle with written communication but I also write a column for a magazine which I find easy to communicate in. Context I guess. |
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"I'm AuDHD. I find in person so much easier to communicate and quite often struggle with written communication but I also write a column for a magazine which I find easy to communicate in. Context I guess."
Oh definitely! And I love that you write for a magazine. I'm highly creative, so communicate better through presence, emotion, body language and the sound of the voice! |
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